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InToTheRain
05-21-2015, 12:27 PM
:salam:

This is a very inspirational story from a strong Sister; Mash'Allah. I saw this in another forum and wanted to share this. May Allah Most High grant her Maghfira and continue giving her Marifah which draws her closer to him.


Assalamu alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barrakatuh

I ask Allah this finds you all in the best state of iman and health Ameen
I was going to post in this thread but then decided not to ... but after a sister convinvced me it may help the iman of some people i thought i may aswell


well...
when i was 12 i started to ask questions about the akhirah
i had some family members who extreamly ill one of them who was under the age of 20 and we wer told they wer going to die
so i started to ask what happens in the grave the journy of the soul and the akhirah
i was raised as a christian going to church every week in christian private schools and all that so i was asking my family and priests and teachers at school but was told not to talk or think about death or not answered correctly as in i was told ...." my child god loves and forgives all so believe in him" ... how confusing is that...
anyway
i whent to a friend of mine who was muslim
i had kind of given up on my search as it was exhausting and felt pointless but my dsire to find out was still there

i remember at the time i was having issues at home with my family ( mother and brother ) as i was always the odd one out...al hamdulillah so i use to pray to Allah alot i believed Allah is one and had a hard time accepting jesus as the son of god
i remember i said ....god i know you are there somewer i dont know how but you exist and i just want to be pleasing to you even if the whole world hates me and my family turn against me if i hace you then i dont mind
and subhan Allah
i whent to my friends house and she started to tell me things i never heard
about the grave about jennah , jahenem
i was like where did you get this info from
why dont i know about this
and she got the quran and gave it to me and showed me the english traslation of certain ayahs
we spent a good 30 mins or so browsing and he mother came in and started to talk to me and helped me understand a few things
then she read in arabic from surrah muhamed
when she got to the point
subhan Allah i cant find it now but it was like the 3 or 4 ayah
i cried
i had something overtake my body my heart felt like it was shaking my hands and body fell in sujood to the one who created me and i felt so certain of this beliefe
my friends mother helped me up after a few minutes as i was just crying in sujood and she asked me if i was ok i said to her i believe in this message in this jennah in the god that is spoken about
and she hugged me and started to cry
and i felt so overwhelmed but in a way that i cant explain subhan Allah
i felt such trenquility like i could breath
so they gave me a quran and i whent home
my mum ... well lets put it politely .. she whent mental
my brother did his typical ... your such a failure to our family speach
and i whent to my room i read quran so much for about a week or so
in that time i seen alot about the war in iraq and the muslims there and subhan Allah they touched my heart
i felt so attached to them as if it was my family who wer being misstreated i would sit for hours flicking channles trying to see what was happening
and my mum saw these things and she came to me and said i need to stop
she did the mother daughter kind of approach...treated me like an "adult"
after another week or so i whent back to my friend when i got the chance as i had a dream i wanted to tell them about
i didnt know what it was or what it meant but i was so excited about it
i dreamed that i was standing in a desert kind of area with huge sand like walls in the distance the whole ground and walls where sandy and red looking and the sky was so blue it almost looked white it wasnt hot or cold and i was fully covered in black and i saw a man sitting with a white garment wrapped around his body with a turban and hair flicking out from the bottom of it he was reciting something that sounded so beautiful i started to walk to him
but i keot stopping and hesitating i was worried to intrude on him
subhan Allah the closer i got the more i felt like i wanted to run
but would keep that steady pace..
then he stood up and turned what he was reading towards me and a smell of perfume gushed in my face and he walked a few steps away
this sounds strange but i remember wanting to look at him because i felt so drawn to him but my eyes wouldnt leave this book infront of me
and i started to read as i read he walked away and i sat and read for a long time as i was turning pages but it felt like a few minutes in my dream
as i told my friends mother she asked if i rememberd what i saw so i wrote down a few lines unsure if i was right and it confused me because it looked like jibberish to me
as she came back and saw it she opend the begining of the quran to the first page of surrah al baqarah and i cried i knew this meant something beyond my comprehension
i had written down the first few ayahs of surrah al baqarah and when i told her what the man was recting it was surrah al fatihah
subhan Allah
until this day these two surrahs brins so much emotion to me i find myself very attached to them
so my friends mother explained a few more things to me about being a muslim and i officially took my shahdah ( i was 12 ) and al hamdulillah i whent home
my mother was waiting for me and wanted to "talk " that usually involved a few good slaps and hair pulling ...
so she said to me that i cant see my muslim friends anymore and all this things and they will try to brain wash me
the preist thought i was the child of the devil...
and its a shame on our family as my family helped alot in the church
so my mum said either i chose my friends and their beliefe or my family
it was then that i told my mother i was muslim
and that it was the beauty and stern warning of the quran that brought me to islam not my friends
and she introduced my face to her hand....
she told me to leave the house and never come back until i change my mind
she wouldnt let me through the front door to pack anything she just told me to leave
it was almost dark and i had nower to go
so i whent to the park near my house as they usually had soccer and things on at night and i sat there and watched until i almost fell asleep
it got so cold that i whent to the toilets and sat with the hand dryer all night
by morning i whent home as it was a school day
my mother wouldnt let me in to get ready for school
i waited downstairs and as she left she walked right past me ignoring me
i was hungry
cold
and she was like a walking iceberg
subhan Allah
so i whent to see some friends
and i realised very soon i was homeless
everyday i whent home and the door wasnt opend for me
my friends parents had a call from my mother saying if they help me she will call the police
so naturally these parents didnt want their children around me
i slept in the park and made good friends with that hand crying as winter was coming in
i didnt eat for days
i remember at many times eating from garbage bins
subhan Allah people throw away some decent food
allthough anything from a bin is just .... well you can imagine
by about the second week my mother sat me down to talk
she let me shower
change my cothes
eat soemthing
and wanted to comprimise
i can have muslim friends but i cant believe in it and i have to go church and things like that
i did my best to respect my mother
but i told her that cant happen
i asked her to just read the quran as there is nothing harmful that i was doing
but she told me once again to leave
being 12 there wasnt anything i could do
as refuges are packed out for young children either i was jsut a bit too old ot just a bit too young for most refuges and if they are full... the street is your home....
after a few months of being on the street and staying the odd night at a friends house sneaking through windows i hade befriended alot of girls that wer in gangs and into all kinds of bad stuff
al hamdulillah Allah saved me from drugs and things like that
as i wanted to practice my deen but with a street life comes other harram things many of you would know of
especially being in a girls gang...
subhan Allah
may Allah forgive my wrong doings
at the age of 13 the goverment finallt told my mother if she doesnt take me back home they will declare her a unfit mother and take my brother away from her as refuges wer full and im not from a "abusive " house hold
so being that she was a lawyer at the time she feared her rep so she took me back
at that time i face beatings from my racist brother and my mother
everytime i refused to leave the deen
i was beaten or had things taken from me and told how i was a cancer to our family and things along those lines
i actually preffered the street as i had gotten so use to it and i would just sit and talk to Allah ... at home i felt like i was being choked
subhan Allah
when i was just 14 or around that time it was only about 3 months after my mum took me back
she took me to a counceller and had her declare my home as a detriment to my mental well being and then took that papper to the goverment and got payments for me and found a place i could afford and have $20 at the end of each fortnight after paying my rent
so she took me and a few bags to my new home
subhan Allah
i started to cut out my friends
and i started to read about islam day and night
i made taubah to Allah for everything i had done and for things i wasnt doing and i learnt hijjab was wajib and i had to start praying
i didnt have money for hijjab so i started to save my $20 a fortnight
i had to try and pay bills and buy food with it but i felt sick thinking i was spending money on food and i dont cover myself
when i finally got $100 ( it took about 10 months of eating plain rice ) i whent to the abaya shop and wanted to buy a long hijjab and abaya just plain black
it was $110 andi was counting all my coins and so was the lady and i was short
and she was like sorry your $10 short
and i asked if i could leave my fone with her and ill pay her in 2 weeks and she refused me
i left crying
i felt so sick another 2 weeks knoing hijjab is wajib and i dont have one
subhan Allah
al hamdulillah by the time i was 15 i was praying and wearing hijjab
i had numerous offers from my family to go home and continue my dance carrear and my uncle who lived in america was a film director and wanted me to do some acting and modelling for him while i attended a dance school there
subhan Allah i remember my family tried to pull me back in watching me starve and struggle offering me the dunya
but for some reason i was so stubborn against them
until this day
they try when things get hard
i cant work because of my niqqab i have been wearing since i was 16 and they have for the past 6 years constantly attacked it and told me that if i take it all off and go back i wont have to worry about rent, bills , and all them things
al hamdulillah my parents now are really accepting ... but my mother has times that she has outbursts and cant stand it but in general mashAllah Allah made thinsg easy
when i would see her she i asked her to wear long skirts and tops and she listens ... she lets me pray at her house when i visit she doesnt turn the tv on anymore and she doesnt drink alcohol when im around
it took a long time and stern words
but al hamdulillah
but untill now i have no love for the dunya
i lost everything when i became muslim and i promised myself i would never allow myself to indulge in it and inshaAllah i never do im not sayiing its haram to have a bead
but i love to sleep on the floor as our beloved prophet salla Allahu alayhi wassalam did
as the less i have now ... it reminds me of when i had nothing
and im greatfull wher im now ... what Allah has given me
sometimes i miss those days as i felt so close to Allah
when i was cold i use to make dua for Allah to make me warm and i swear by Allah i wouldnt feel the cold
subhan Allah
but i have become content with not having the dunya and i advise all my brothers and sisters to give it up as that brings real happiness wallahi
it may be hard at first and takes some adjustng
but all those things you have in your house
things that u may use but dont need.... let them go
this dunya is for ibadah not constant house work and maintance of possesions
i hope i may have touched someones heart by my story for the sake of myself and my family i have left certain parts
sorry for making it so long
may Alah guide us all to the straight path and make us of the muhsineen of alfirdaws Ameen
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farhan
05-21-2015, 04:44 PM
:jz: for sharing.

i felt so sick another 2 weeks knoing hijjab is wajib and i dont have onesubhan Allah
al hamdulillah by the time i was 15 i was praying and wearing hijjab
Wow 15 and hijab & praying, that is something to be proud of especially in this day and age.
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InToTheRain
05-22-2015, 09:29 PM
Originally Posted by فرحان
:jz: for sharing.



Wow 15 and hijab & praying, that is something to be proud of especially in this day and age.
Her story reminds me of how sometimes it is at the times when we are most desperate and we turn to Him we feel at most peace.

as the less i have now ... it reminds me of when i had nothing
and im greatfull wher im now ... what Allah has given me
sometimes i miss those days as i felt so close to Allah
Reminds me of what this brother mentioned:
"This is another stage---when Allah tries your inner most mettle with trials the likes of which you’ve never seen before. I told one brother this story and asked, "Why is it that in my most desperate moments I feel the sweetest peace?" He said, "Because it is at that moment that you enter into complete slave-hood to Allah.""
in this article,
http://www.masud.co.uk/ISLAM/misc/yementrip.htm

So in a way, those situations although difficult will help us attain a greater place in our eternal life Insha'Allah
Reply

فصيح الياسين
05-31-2015, 08:23 PM
Originally Posted by InToTheRain
:salam:

This is a very inspirational story from a strong Sister; Mash'Allah. I saw this in another forum and wanted to share this. May Allah Most High grant her Maghfira and continue giving her Marifah which draws her closer to him.
اللهم تقبلها كما تقبلهم لالدينك وجهلهاوليك كم تجعلهم. ياالله انت خير الراحمين نعوذبك من منكرات و سكرات الموت و فتنة النسآء و الدجال و من عذاب القبر والحشر والميزان ومن الكبر ومن الريا. ومن كل كل عاصية وذنوب
انت مستعان و ذوالعرش المكين تقبل منا انت السميع العليم
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