salam, sister in need of advice

[rourou...]

Salam everyone and Ramadan Mubarak!!!

I came across this forum just moments ago (sorry not sure if this belongs here) First off i'd like to introduce myself - I am a third year medical science student, and i spend most of my time at University studying. Until recently, i've been feeling guilty about not spending enough time reading quran/sunnah prayers/reading up on Islamic history; spending more time on work rather than religion.

Alhamdullilah i make use of the musalah at my University however i am really upset and disappointed in the treatment i receive. I am just so appalled by the amount of hatred between the muslim sisters. It really hurts when you give salam and receive a dry glance, or when you're praying and you hear remarks being made. I have been so uncomfortable and i really don't know what to do. It saddens me to see so much hypocrisy ... To be honest i don't like to discuss what may seem to be a petty issue, but i just thought i could get some helpful advice.

I am constantly treated in an unwelcoming manner by other muslim sisters - to the extent where i was told i could not join the muslim association at Uni as it was 'full'. Besides the point, i am a very ambitious/determined girl, and i would really like to do something/ be a part of something to make a difference. I had thought perhaps joining a muslim association was a starting point but now im not quite sure.

[simplymuslim]

Salaam Sister.

First of all, i hope your time at University is going quite well and insha'allah you get the grades you want.

Obviously, the Muslim sisters should not be doing that. In Islam, we are taught to be kind and respectful towards everyone.

Indeed, Allah enjoins justice, and the doing of good to others; and giving like kindred; and forbids indecency, and manifest evil, and wrongful transgression. He admonished you that you may take heed. (Al Quran 16:91)

I would suggest trying to find another place to seek knowledge. If the Muslim are unwelcoming towards you then i would not really advise joining the Muslim association. I would suggest finding somewhere in your area to seek knowledge. Look online to see local Mosque's in your area.

I've never really had (until recently) a good source of knowledge for Islam and its history. I used to build some of my knowledge by listening to Islamic lectures and short reminders online. Some good Youtube channels i would recommend are The Daily Reminder, TheProphetsPath, SoldierofAllah2 and Dawah Of A Muslimah. Although, gaining knowledge at another Mosque is far better.

Stay strong and don't ever stop seeking for knowledge.

[BeTheChange]

Walaikumasalaam,

Welcome to the forum! Am glad you've registered! You're more than welcome here and please continue using this forum in sha Allah.

Am not sure why the sisters are treating you in a bad way. Have you tried speaking them in a direct manner about this? Advise them, you've noticed you are singled out and at any opportunity you are turned away from this Muslim Association. Try speaking to the head of the association and see if you can bring some love to this relationship?

I read a very powerful quote once - No one can hurt you, unless you give them access to your inner feelings and heart.

So, if you feel things are not moving in the right direction, distance yourself from this particular group and make new Muslim friends in the association? Sometimes, i find, it's better to be alone than with bad company.

You're at Uni, studying the subject you love am assuming, so focus on that. Focus on Ramadan. Focus on YOU. Don't let anyone's opinion of you affect your confidence, or your character, unless you're changing a bad trait of course.

Hope that helps!

Wish you the best!

[greenhill]

That being the case, the Muslims Society is only in name, but not at all in practice. They're not welcoming. Do, in my opinion, leave them well clear and join another if possible.

:peace:

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[MuslimOfAmerica]

Sister, from what you have said the treatment you get from these other sisters is very strange and inappropriate. There must be something that made them act like this towards you but regardless, continue saying Salam and let them talk because it will only hurt them in the akhira. Also, don't forget to smile to them because it is the Sunnah of the Prophet (may peace be upon him)
Abdullah ibn Harith said:
“I never came across a person who smiled as much as Prophet Muhammad. Prophet Muhammad regarded smiling to a brother as an act of charity.” (At-Tirmidhi, 3641)
Jarir ibn Abdullah said:
“The Messenger of God never refused me permission to see him since I embraced Islam and never looked at me except with a smile (on his face).” (Muslim, 6050)
When one of Prophet Muhammad’s companions was asked if he sat with the Prophet he replied:
“Yes, very often. He (the Prophet) used to sit at the place where he observed the morning or dawn prayer till the sun rose or when it had risen; he would stand, and they (his Companions) would talk about matters (pertaining to the days) of ignorance, and they would laugh (on these matters) while (the Prophet) only smiled.” (Muslim, 1413)

[Lady A]

:wa: :welcome: and hope you are utilizing this month to the maximum!

I hope you complete your goals in the medical career! MashaAllah, great choice.

Sorry to know you are not being welcomed at your uni's Muslim Association. If I were you I would continue to go and say salaam. Maybe one day you can break down their dry stares and be the best of friends :D. At the end of the day you go to your uni's mussallah to worship Allah, so continue to do so. Continue with your courage and stay strong!

[Hamza Asadullah]

Salam everyone and Ramadan Mubarak!!!

I came across this forum just moments ago (sorry not sure if this belongs here) First off i'd like to introduce myself - I am a third year medical science student, and i spend most of my time at University studying. Until recently, i've been feeling guilty about not spending enough time reading quran/sunnah prayers/reading up on Islamic history; spending more time on work rather than religion.

Alhamdullilah i make use of the musalah at my University however i am really upset and disappointed in the treatment i receive. I am just so appalled by the amount of hatred between the muslim sisters. It really hurts when you give salam and receive a dry glance, or when you're praying and you hear remarks being made. I have been so uncomfortable and i really don't know what to do. It saddens me to see so much hypocrisy ... To be honest i don't like to discuss what may seem to be a petty issue, but i just thought i could get some helpful advice.

I am constantly treated in an unwelcoming manner by other muslim sisters - to the extent where i was told i could not join the muslim association at Uni as it was 'full'. Besides the point, i am a very ambitious/determined girl, and i would really like to do something/ be a part of something to make a difference. I had thought perhaps joining a muslim association was a starting point but now im not quite sure.

Asalaamu Alaikum,

My sister know that if we do anything to please others then we will never get a good response or the satisfaction in our hearts that we are looking for. Therefore whatever we do in terms of pleasing Allah then we should never expect anything positive back from other people but we should be hopeful of reward from Allah as we are only doing it for his pleasure and no one else.

Therefore if we give Salaam to someone then we are only doing it to please Allah regardless of the response (although a lot of the time that person may not hear us properly and we assume they have ignored us). It is a way of shaythan to stop us from giving salaam to another Muslim (of the same sex).

So continue giving salaam as you are only doing so to please Allah. Also continue going to the Islamic society as again you are only doing so to please Allah. Although you say you are receiving a "negative response" but we do not know what is in other peoples hearts. Again it maybe that you are just assuming this. This again is the trick of shaythan as University is a place full of fitnah so stick with the Muslims regardless of what you perceive of others in the way that they may treat you or the way that they are. If you do not stick with the Muslims then shaythan will make you stray towards wrong and the bad crowd. Surely you will find some good sisters in the Muslim society whom you can befriend. Ask of Allah to find you good pious company inshaAllah.

So my sister we must change our thinking and continue to do good actions to please Allah regardless of what reaction we perceive from other people as we are not doing it for them we are doing it to please Allah.

May Allah enable us to do everything that pleases him regardless of what we perceive others to think. Ameen