format_quote Originally Posted by
muslimrose
salaam i have had mental/emotional problems for years and ive been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder my emotions are up and down all the time and because of how i feel ive neglected my deen ive not prayed my salah or any of my islamic duties..the guilt is yet another emotion that makes me feel bad..i live alone and the area i live in there is no mosques or islamic community close by..i also have arthritis and breathing problems so im isolated thats one of the reasins i joined this forum to be in.. touch with other sisters..i want to get my faith in islam back..any advice would be appreciated..
Asalaamu Alaikum. Jazakallahu Khayr for sharing your issues with us as i know it could not have been easy. My dear sister when we constantly tarnish our hearts with the blackness of sin then it begins to become numb and withdrawn and harder to feel the sweetness of Imaan. In order to get rid of the blackness from the heart we must make the effort to cleanse our hearts and there is no better cleanser of the heart than the remembrance of Allah.
My sister you coming here to post your issues like this clearly shows your desire to be closer to Allah. But know that Allah desires much more for you to be closer to him. All you have to do is walk towards Allah and he will run towards you. Your sworn enemy shaythan has tried his best to destroy you and he will not stop until you continue to destroy yourself until your last breath. The past has happened and we can never go back and change anything. That's fine. We are who we are today due to our past experiences. Therefore there is no need to let the past drag us down anymore. So let us learn from our past and take lessons from it but never let it effect our progress in moving forward in life. What matters the most is the present moment. Now is the time for us to change. Now is our opportunity to climb the mountain. Though we maybe at the bottom of the mountain but we must ignore the rocks that lead to the top and we must keep our focus on the peak of the mountain.
Therefore you must now make the focus of your life to please Allah. Right now you may not have a focus. Your mind maybe all over the place due to what has happened and what is currently happening in your life. But from now your focus must be solely to do everything in your life to please Allah and refrain from anything that may anger or displease him. If you make this the focus of your life then I promise you that everything else in your life will fall into place.
Regarding your illness then know that as long as we are patient through trials with regards to our health, wealth or children then Allah will compensate us with something that is far better! The way to aget through hardships and difficult tests that we may be going through in life is to firstly internalise in our minds that this life is a test ground and we are in an examination but we do not know when this examination will end but whilst the examination is taking place we are being rigorously tested and at times we are tested until breaking piont just to see whether or not we will turn towards Allah or go away from him.
We must also internalise that Allah ONLY tests those who he wants close to him. Therefore the tests that we go through in our lives clearly show Allah is wanting us to turn towards him and be closer to him. This is in fact a great privelage. The greater the tests we go through the more Allah is wanting to raise our ranks in the hereafter.
Therefore if we really want to know the best way to approach huge trials and tests then we should simply realise that the bigger the tests we are going through then the higher Allah is wanting to raise our ranks in the hererafter. Trials are a truly blessing in disguise. All Allah wants from us is for us to turn towards him in meekness and humbleness and for us to be patient and to turn to him in prayer and dua. Picture that fact that Allah loves it when his servant is in desperate need, crying to him for help for Allah tends to those who cry and sob to him immediatley just as a mother tends to its baby promptly when it is crying.
We should also internalise the fact that tests actually differentiate us believers from one another in terms of ranking in the eyes of Allah and therefore we should know that those who are tested and are patient are forgiven of their sins as sins falls off a person who is patient through trials just. Therefore we should realise that us being tested with trials and tests will NEVER go unrewarded for Allah rewards how much he wants to those who are patient through trials and those who turn towards him in humility and meekness.
It may be that a person who has experienced great trials in the world faces Allah on the day of judgement with little or no sins. So tests are a way of Allah forgiving a person of their sins so that on the day of judgement they have a much lighter load. Rasulallah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has called the day of judgement a "terrible" day and surely on this terrible day we would want as less sins as possible in our accounts if we are to be successful. Therefore these trials and tests are very important for us because they enable us to be forgiven for countless sins that would be a huge burden on us if it were in our accounts but due to the huge tests we faced with patience turning to Allah then it may be that we have very little or no sins at all on that day. The greater the trial the more sins fall off us. So know that even a prick of a thorn expiates ones sins.
We should also approach hardships and tests as in that it is the decree of Allah so we should NEVER ask Allah "Why" has he given us such trials? For questioning Allah why he has decreed something will mean that not only have we gone through so much grief and torment from these trials but that we have actually added to our sins by questioning Allah and we will be accountable for that.
Patience is one of the greatest attributes a person can acquire and Allah is with those who are patient and the reward for Patience is Paradise!
If one is patient, and is among the ones described in the following manner in the Qur’an
(Baqarah, 2: 256)
Who say, when afflicted with calamity: “To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”:-
Here are two wonderful examples of patience through trials in the life of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) :
‘Ata ibn Rabah related that he heard Ibn ‘Abbas say: “Shall I show you a woman of Paradise?”I said: “Yes, indeed.” He said: “A black woman came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and said: ‘I suffer from epileptic fits, and because of these, (at times) my body becomes uncovered. Would you invoke Allah, the Exalted One, to cure me of this disease? ‘ The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: ‘If you wish, you can be patient and you will attain Paradise (for this suffering). But if you prefer, I will pray to Allah, the Exalted, to cure you of it?’ The woman said: ‘I will be patient,’ then added: ‘I become uncovered (when I have fits), so invoke Allah for me that I do not become uncovered. ‘ So the Prophet, peace be upon him, prayed for her.”
[Source: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, volume 4, #1a]
Story of ‘Urwah Ibn Al Zubair
‘Urwah Ibn Al Zubair had an operation, and the doctor amputated his leg. One friend came to visit him. ‘Urwah thought that the fried came to pacify him for the loss of his leg. So ‘Urwah told the visitor: If you came to give me condolence for the loss of my leg, I already submitted to Allah with patience to reward me for its loss. The guest told him, I came to inform you that your son fell down in a stable, and the animals stepped over him, and he died one hour ago. ‘Urwah said: O Allah! You took one child, and left me many…You took one organ from my body, and left me many organs…O Allah! You tested me with my body, and you were kind to leave me with good health. You tested me with the loss of my son, but you were kind in leaving me the rest of my children.
We should also approach tests as in we should look at those who have less than us. We have clean tap water and food on our plates everyday. We have clean clothes washed regularly and shelter from the harsh weather. Whereas there are those who walk miles just for a sip of water and even then it is dirty. There are those who have the same clothes for years and cannot even wash them. There are those who go days without proper food and even then they have scraps and end up being malnourished. There are those like in the flood disaster recently who have no shelter and are exposed to terrible diseases. Those who have little or no money to buy even basic things as well as medication for their sick family members. Rasulallah (Sallallahu Alaihi wasallam) always told us to look at those who have less than us.
Sometimes when we go through great trials we get deceived into thinking that other people that we see around us must be living a life happy and content. We are wrong to think in this way for we do not know what goes on in peoples lives. There are many examples of those who seemed as though they have SO much and seemed so happy but when certain things were revealed then it was clear that those people were living miserable lives full of torment! We may look at a person with a smile on his face but he may be going through trials we can never imagine.
Therefore when we are going through difficult times and trials then we should not look at others and think they are happy and living fulfilled lives for we do not know what any person on the street is going through on a day to day basis.
Therefore whenever we are going through difficult times and trials then we should put our full trust, hopes, faith and reliance in Allah for he will NEVER let us down but is only testing us because he wants us to turn towards him in humility, humbleness and meekness and he wants us to get much closer to him. He tests a person because he wants good for them and wants to forgive them and raise their ranks in the hereafter.
In reality how lucky is a person who is being tested greatly and is still patient and turning towards Allah night and day. How high must Allah be raising his ranks and forgiving his sins on a daily basis until he is like a new born baby who has little or no sins on him at all. So the way to approach this is to realise that a person who is being tested greatly is in fact lucky but shaythan is wanting one to think opposite.
Shaythan is our eternal sworn enemy and ONLY wants us to lose hope and faith and to go away from Allah. He wants us to become disillusioned and lose all hope so that we go away from Allah and our deen. But we should reject our enemy who only wants our destruction. We should disregard his evil whispers and know that they are only lies and deceit.
Shaythan will try to make us think that there is no way out of this and this is because he wants us to give in and lose hope. But we must realise that if we continuously strive and keep turning towards Allah and be patient then the final victory WILL be ours! We will taste the sweetness of victory but in order to taste this victory we need to fight and strive through the tests and trials that life throws at us!
If one who is going through great trials continues to turn towards Allah in humility, meekness and in humbleness then know that the reward one will gain will be unimaginable. On the day of judgement once we see the reward of being patient through great trials turning towards Allah in humility then we would want Allah to have tested us even more so that we could have reaped the rewards of being patient and turning towards Allah through trials and hardships. It is only on the day of judgement will we truly realise how much we have missed out on and how much more we wished we were tested by Allah so that our ranks were even higher.
Regarding being alone then know my sister that when we are alone then Allah is always the second. We can never be truly alone if we rely on Allah for he is sufficient for us! Ask of Allah to give you good pious company and whenever you feel alone then raise your hands and talk to Allah for there can be NO better friend than the one who created us. Share everything with him. Ask of him, beg of him, plead with him, thank him and share your deepest feelings with him and he will ALWAYS be there for you and comfort you and give you what is best for you!
Internalise in your mind pure hatred for anything that displeases and angers Allah. Have hatred for that which is destroying you and keeping you away from getting closer to Allah. Think to yourself what good has committing done for you apart from seperate you from getting closer to Allah. Know that your enemy shaythan is wanting you to continue destroying yourself. But will you allow him when all he wants is the worst for you? Or will you allow Allah to come fully into your life and heart? There is nothing stopping you from getting closer to Allah but yourself! shaythan can only whisper but it is us who actually stop ourselves from moving forward in life. Therefore do not allow yourself to be in this state of despair any longer. Allow Allah to fully come into your life and heart and fully immerse yourself into this beautiful deen.
Every one of our souls craves for getting closer to Allah and for his remembrance. That is why many of us have this emptiness inside of us and have little peace and a void that we want to fill. It is because we are not fulfilling our obligations unto Allah nor are we remembering him nor thinking him as we should. We neglect our basic duties unto Allah but when we go through trials and hardships then we wonder why and we lose hope and instead of filling the emptiness inside of us by fulfilling our obligations and remembering Allah and turning to him we turn to shaythans solutions committing haram acts. We do this to block out our problems. But this is not a solution. This will only make our situation and problems worse.
Therefore what we must realise is that there is only one solution to our problem and issues. Allah clearly tells us the solution and it is that we turn to him and remember and thank him. We repent to him and we persevere in patience. Much of the time Allah gives us trials and hardships so that we can turn to him and remember him because lets face it many of us only really turn to Allah and remember him when we go through hardships and trials.
Also my sister know that you will stumble, trip and fall. That is inevitable. That is also a part of being human because the first to trip was the first man created our father Adam (As) when he was deceived by shaythan and ate from the forbidden tree. So we should accept what has passed of our lives and learn from it and we should not put ourselves down about our past. Every sinner has a future. Not one of us is not a sinner. We are all tarnished with many sins. But the best sinner is the one who repents sincerely to Allah and begs and ask for forgiveness.
As Muslims we have been given a gift that is more special than anything else in this universe. A gift that we do not appreciate as we should. A gift not many are given compared to how many people have been created. A gift we must treasure and make the best of before it is too late. This gift is the gift of imaan (faith). Surely this is a sign that Allah loves you that out of everyone he gave you imaan. He could of created you with any belief but he gave you the best gift anyone can ever imagine.
As well as Imaan we have been given guidance in the form of the final revelation the holy Qur'an as well as the Prophetic teachings in the form of the Sunnah in order to guide us as to the best way to live our lives in this world in order to be successful in this life and the next.
Therefore the time to act is now before it is too late. None of us no at which second we will die. It maybe that we don't see tomorrow. We should never deceive ourselves and think we will live until old age. Look at the grave yards they are filled with the young.
Rasulallah (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) urged us to use our time in a useful way when he said: “Grab five things before five others: your youth before your old age, your health before your illness, your wealth before your poverty, your leisure before your work, and your life before your death.”
(Al-Hakim)
He also indicated that we are to be asked about these times and how we invested them in the judgment day. Rasulallah (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “A servants two feet will not move on the Day of Judgement until he is questioned about four (things): His youth, how he spent it, his knowledge, how he acted upon it, his wealth, how he earned it and how he spent it and his body, how he used/wasted it.”
(Al-Tirmidhi)
The angel of death will not wait a second. He will take our soul the very second he is meant to and not a second late. So what are we waiting for in order to change? Are we waiting for death to strike? Are we waiting for a calamity to befall us? We will be the biggest losers on the day of judgement full of utter regret unless we make a change from this moment onwards.
On the day of Judgement we will beg of Allah for us to return back to this world so that we may live this life again obeying the commands of Allah but by then it will be too late as we only have ONE chance:
In Falsehood will they be Until, when death comes to one of them, he says: “O my Lord! send me back (to life),- In order that I may work righteousness in the things I neglected.” By no means! It is but a word he says. Before them is a Partition till the Day they are raised up.
(23:99-100)
Leave these filthy sins which is stopping you from getting closer to Allah. We cannot even spend a second in such a terrible place as Jahannam so how will we cope in there for eternity? We struggle in temperatures of 90 degrees F but what about thousands of degrees? How will we cope in such a place where we will be fuel for the fire? The way a person dies that is the way they will be raised up therefore a person who dies whilst sinning then they will be raised up on the day of Judgement committing the same sin and Allah will not even look at him but ask the angels to throw him into the fire. What a disgusting way to enter the worst of places - Jahannam. A true wretched dogs death.
Therefore my sister the time to get closer to Allah and give up evil NOW, for tomorrow may never come. There is NO time to waste. How long have we got until we will face Allah for the choices we made in this life. we ONLY have this one chance so how can we ruin it? How can we sacrifice this petty short life for ETERNITY OF BLISS? What a foolish person who would choose this life over the next. How can one choose a few years over an eternity?
Remember the choices we make now will affect our lives in this world and our eternity in the next. Therefore let us forget the past now and repent sincerely to Allah with utter remorse and with firm resolve NEVER return to such an evil act again and one will find Allah most merciful.
This one chance we have can end at ANY second. So we cannot afford to gamble with our Hereafter. Allah is waiting for us to return to him so let us walk towards him so that he may run towards us. Nothing of this world is worth losing out on getting closer to Allah. This world is full of temporary distractions and deceptions. The real life is the Hereafter and the heaven of this world is being close to Allah! We will NEVER be satisfied with money, cars, women, fame, intoxication and gambling. It will only bring us misery and emptiness.
True happiness comes from contentment and we will only ever be truly content once we decide to live our lives in obedience to the commands of Allah and be true believers. If our hearts are sincere then there is no doubt that Allah would forgive an entire lifetime of sins! Glory be to Allah the merciful most kind who loves nothing but to forgive his slaves. He is the majesty of honour and generosity. We may get tired asking of him but he will NEVER tire from giving to us.
Ibn Masood (Ra) said: “I have never regretted anything as a day spent of my life without doing good deeds.”
How many days have we had like this where we have completely wasted them? On the day of judgement we would want to go back so that we could gain the HUGE rewards that are available just for saying Subhanallah!
Bilal ibn ass’d once said: if we are asked: ‘‘do you want to die?’’, we answer ‘‘No’’; and if we are asked ‘‘why?’’ we reply ‘‘in order to repent ad do good deeds’’. However if it’s said to us ‘‘Ok then do good deeds’’ we say: ‘‘Yes I will do’’; we keep working for this life everyday and postponing working for the hereafter.
What I would recommend to you is to keep thinking of death and the Hereafter. Watch lectures on it and read Islamic books on it, read up on it etc. It will help you to increase your imaan and keep you on the right track. Death is the best reminder for us to keep us on track on a daily basis because if we know we can die at any second then how can we not prepare for the Hereafter?
Let us choose NOT this life but the Hereafter:
The Prophet (Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, "O Allah! There is no life worth living except the life of the Hereafter...
(Bukhari)
So my dear sister waste not a second more. Ask of Allah and beg of him for mercy and forgiveness. Cry unto him and tell him how much you need him. Beg of him for guidance for he will never leave you empty handed or neglect you. Walk towards him and he will run towards you. Take this chance for death can strike at any moment and the angel of death will not wait a second more beyond our appointed time.
Nothing in this world is worth sacrificing the Hereafter for. Nothing is more precious than getting closer to Allah and remembering him no matter what we are doing. We should not desire to please anyone more than to please him. Our greatest desire should be to be with him in Jannah whilst he has revealed his majestic and beautiful face to us.
So my sister right this moment have a bath/shower and purify yourself (if you are able to due to the time of the month) and then pray 2 Rakat of Salaatul Tawbah (Prayer of repentance) and make sincere Dua begging of Allah and ask of him for his mercy and forgiveness. Vow to him that you will make every effort to strive towards him. Ask of him till fill your heart with his light and guidance. Ask of him to help you keep away from all evil and from the whispers of shaythan and your Nafs. Ask of him to aide in in doing everything to please him and refrain from anything that may anger or displease him. Then from today never miss a Fard (obligatory) prayer again. Strive to do everything that pleases Allah and strive to refrain from anything that may anger or displease him.
Internalise in your mind that today is a wonderful day as it is the beginning of your new life and that Allah has guided you to come here so that he may give you the guidance to go towards him. Do not waste this valuable opportunity. Grab it with both hands as such an opportunity may never come again and Allah will ask you that did he not give you so many chances and that why did you not take heed?
So my sister Allah the master of the Universe and your creator wants you to be closer to him. So then will you not go towards him?
The last ten days and nights of Ramadan are the best days and nights of Ramadan. Therefore there is no better time to change our lives forever than this very moment. Dua's are readily accepted during these blessed days and nights. So we should all make a firm commitment to devote ourselves in worship on all of the last 10 nights, if not then on the odd numbered nights, if not then at least on as many nights as we can. We should worship Allah with full sincerity, hope for immense reward, forgiveness and mercy from Allah for an entire lifetime of sins.
We should also make a firm commitment to Allah that we will change ourselves for the better for the rest of the year as Ramadan is for life not just for one month. We must remember that our time is very short and that this may well be our very last Ramadan as it was the last Ramadan for so many who thought they would make it!
So let us grab this opportunity with both hands! If we walk towards Allah then he will run towards us!
These threads will help to make the best of the last ten days & nights of Ramadan:
Worship Plan to Maximise Laylatul Qadr
http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...atul-qadr.html
10 ways to Maximize the Last 10 Days of Ramadan
http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...s-ramadan.html
5 things to do on Laylatul Qadr
http://www.islamicboard.com/fasting-...atul-qadr.html
Also watch the following short reminders:
Death an Undeniable certainty:
http://youtu.be/FNQfQqMVIXw
Times up:
http://youtu.be/wRQyn9dSrPM
They died without Salaah:
http://youtu.be/wNWMVlEkHhg
The People of Hellfire:
http://youtu.be/wRQyn9dSrPM
If you need anymore help or advice then please do not hesitate to ask. Please also remember me in your dua's.