Originally Posted by asha1896
Assalaamu alaikum again Asha,
(smile) You say "just an eyeliner… and lipstick"… but again, I'd ask: what are these doing?
(smile) Men often think that women enhance themselves to attract men. But in reality, women tend to be a lot more concerned about what other women
think, than what men think. For the most part, women are not
wearing the latest peak-a-boo fashions and make-up to attract men, but to gain approval from other women. It is mostly women
who are going to give a woman feedback on her hair, nails, face, clothes, body…
Nevertheless, the things we women do, whether we are aware of it or not, do
affect men. I am all for women having freedom. But I also believe in men having freedom, too. We all
, in my opinion, have to consider not only what we
want, but also how our choices affect others. It is, I believe, a question of consideration for others, and a question of good manners.
God has Created men to be sexually stimulated by a woman's body. If a man is not stimulated, he cannot perform sexually. While non-visual cues do exist, visual ones are very important. This is just a reality.
Some women argue that it is not fair that women have to be more careful of how they dress and decorate themselves. They say: well, why don't men also have to cover? Or : why don't men just control themselves? (smile) Of course, men should
also take care in how they dress and behave. But being fair doesn't mean everyone is treated or behaves in exactly the same way in all circumstances.
For example, if a blind person is expected to read regular textbooks for university, would this be fair? Or is it more truly fair to accommodate the person's blindness, and allow access to braille books, audio books, or a person to read the textbooks?
Knowing that men are sexually stimulated by women's bodies, is it not fair, in mixed environments, for women to take care how they dress and decorate themselves? (And is it not also
fair, O men, to try not
to look and restrain yourselves…?).
(smile) How does this tie in with a little bit of eyeliner and lipstick? Well, if I were to say: the eyeliner makes your eyes look bigger and more defined, and the lipstick makes your lips more defined and probably flushed (depends on the colour). Dilated pupils signal a woman's interest in something (including men), and emphasizing the eyes has an effect on men similar to this pupil dilation (and receiving a woman's interest is a definite turn-on for men). Flushed lips signal sexual arousal in a woman (which a man is likely to interpret as: she's turned on by me
). You can have a large effect (more striking contrasts or more vivid colours, for instance), or more subtle ones. But nevertheless, overall, the signals that men are receiving are stimulatory ones.
Knowing this, do you want to wear make-up in your public life? (smile) This is your
decision to make. Each person has their own particular set of circumstances, and each person is responsible for their choices.
I hope this helps.
May Allah, the Forgiving and Kind, be Gentle with us in our sincere struggles in this life.