Role and Attitude of Siblings

[Lightingshine]

assalamaualaikum dear reader,I would like to know what Islamic teachings say about sibling role in family,e.g how a brother should treat sister in islam?As in many families it is witnessed that brother is disrespectful towards sister.If sister happens to be well educated and apparently successful than brother,an amount of jealousy,abuse and insulting behaviour is displayed on brothers part instead f love and protection.Sometimes such behaviour can put a strain on mental and physical health of sister who is sensitive by nature and naturally desires love and respect from her brother.Should the sister cut ties with brother who is continually abusive verbally critical and controlling towards her.As this imples that contact with brother is unhealthy and plays negative impact on her personality.Advicing patience in this situation isnot sound as she has borne much hatred and jealousy on his part.So in order to live under same roof how is she supposed to live a happy healthy and positive life??Kindly give feedback here.

[strivingobserver98]

This fatwa may help you understand a bit more.

What are the rights of brothers, sisters and parents on the man at the time.

Praise be to Allaah.

Brothers and sisters are among the relatives with whom Islam commands us to uphold ties.

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah says: ‘I am al-Rahmaan (the Most Merciful) and this rahm (tie of kinship) has a name that is derived from My name. Whoever uphold it, I will take care of him, and whoever severs it, I will cut him off.’” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1907; Abu Dawood, 1694; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 520).

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever would like his lifespan to be extended and his provision to be increased, let him uphold the ties of kinship.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1961; Muslim, 2557)

Among the rights that they share with other Muslims, except that their rights are stronger, are: that you should greet them with salaam when you meet them; you should accept their invitation when they invite you; you should say “Yarhamukum Allaah (may Allaah have mercy on you) if they sneeze; you should visit them if they fall sick; you should attend their funeral if they die; you should go along with them if they swear that you should do something; you should advise them sincerely if they seek your advice; you should not backbite about them in their absence; you should love for them what you love for yourself and hate for them what you hate for yourself. All of that is narrated in saheeh ahaadeeth.

Their rights also include: that you should not harm any of them in word or deed. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 10; Muslim, 40). And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, in a lengthy hadeeth in which he enjoined a number of virtues, “… If you cannot do that, then leave people alone (and do not offend them), for that is an act of charity that you do for yourself.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2382; Muslim, 84).

With regard to parents’ rights, we have explained the mother’s rights over her children in the answer to question number 5053

And Allaah knows best.

http://islamqa.info/en/14630

[Lightingshine]

Jazak Allah for briefing these points.As few of points were novel to me in which you mentioned you should go along with them if they swear that you should do something.Overall this piece of information really proves helpful✨

[MuslimInshallah]

Jazak Allah for briefing these points. As few of points were novel to me in which you mentioned you should go along with them if they swear that you should do something. Overall this piece of information really proves helpful✨

Assalaamu alaikum Lightingshine,


(smile) Perhaps this is already clear to you, but I mention it because I have known of people who expect relatives to participate in doing something wrong, and many people read these posts. Doing something for a relative if they ask you in Allah's Name to do it… should only be done if what they ask is something permitted. If anyone wants to engage you in something wrong, then you have a duty before Allah to refuse them. Even if they are relatives.

(smile) Indeed, preventing someone from doing a wrong is a kindness, as it prevents them from accruing sins, for which they would be held accountable. (smile) Indeed, not doing a wrong one has planned, is counted as a good deed! So if you resist a relative in a wrong, not only are you protecting him from harm, you may actually be helping him to gain merit in Allah's Eyes.


May Allah, the Just and the Wise, Guide us in our dealings with others.



Qur'an 4:135

Sahih International translation:

O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm in justice, witnesses for Allah , even if it be against yourselves or parents and relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, Allah is more worthy of both. So follow not [personal] inclination, lest you not be just. And if you distort [your testimony] or refuse [to give it], then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted.


Qur'an 5:2

Sahih International translation:


O you who have believed, do not violate the rites of Allah or [the sanctity of] the sacred month or [neglect the marking of] the sacrificial animals and garlanding [them] or [violate the safety of] those coming to the Sacred House seeking bounty from their Lord and [His] approval. But when you come out of ihram, then [you may] hunt. And do not let the hatred of a people for having obstructed you from al-Masjid al-Haram lead you to transgress. And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is severe in penalty.


Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or is oppressed". A man enquired: "O Messenger of Allah! I help him when he is oppressed, but how can I help him when he is an oppressor?" He (ﷺ) said, "You can keep him from committing oppression. That will be your help to him".

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].




وعنه قال‏:‏ قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم‏:‏ “انصر أخاك ظالمًا أو مظلومًا” فقال رجل‏:‏ يا رسول الله أنصره إذا كان مظلومًا أرأيت إن كان ظالمًا كيف أنصره‏؟‏ قال‏:‏ ‏"‏تحجزه -أو تمنعه- من الظلم فإن ذلك نصره” ‏(‏‏(‏رواه البخاري‏)‏‏)‏‏.‏

Arabic/English book reference

: Book 1, Hadith 237

source: http://sunnah.com/riyadussaliheen/1/237

Note: the words for oppressor, oppressed and oppression, could also be translated as wrongdoer, wronged and wrong. Basically, if someone is behaving badly, particularly if this behaviour harms others, we have a duty to try to prevent this behaviour. No matter who the perpetrator is.

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[Lightingshine]

Dear MusliminshAllah, walikumassalam thank you for clarifying as it's absolutely correct that we should follow our relatives wishes only in light of Islamic teachings.Jazak Allah for sharing😊