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benross
08-09-2015, 10:04 AM
Early marriages many years ago were common place. In other words they were considered normal. It is noteworthy that this practice was not confined to any particular culture, religion or group. It was widely practiced by many (none Muslims included). Furthermore, In contemporary times early marriages continue to take place and a very high percentage of them happen in India and as you may already know, India is not a Muslim country. But they are not only confined to India, they happen in the west too.
I think the Issue is around society’s conception of childhood and adulthood. More specifically when does a child stop becoming a child and when does he/she become an adult? This topic has seen much controversy and there are differing views. Infact, in contemporary times the age of consent continues to be a contentious issue surrounded with much debate. You can Google it and you will find that there is hardly any consensus between different countries (Mohammed, 2014)


what does Islam say?
In Islam there is no fixed age of marriage, whenever a person reaches the age of puberty he or she is fit for marriage. Nikah, the marital contract, may be made earlier but consummation of marriage can take place only after puberty is attained. Although this may shock you, your response may just be a cultural reaction, i.e. what your culture tells you about this. In our culture, a 21 year old is considered a child! But in other cultures adulthood is presumed a lot sooner.


Why Prophet Muhammad married Aisha(RA) when she was only 9?
The question of Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) marriage with Aisha(RA) is the one hurled against Muslims in almost every discussion. And it takes much time for people to understand the whole issue only because they fail to understand historical things in their right perspective considering the situation in those particular times. Agreed that a Prophet’s deeds should be above any question in all times and this is true indeed, but there are certain things in which change is inevitable subject to valid reasons and Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) marriage with Aisha is one such case. One who fails to understand the times and all the factors related to issue in hand can never understand the happenings through the history.
The age of maturity through the ages and over the regions:

The wisdom behind Islam not fixing an age is evident, different people reach the age of puberty at different times. And the general trend also varies over the time and across the regions with variant climate conditions. For instance, people living in regions of low altitudes attain puberty earlier then those in high altitudes regions. Similarly people in warm climates attain puberty earlier then those in cold climates. Now keeping all this in mind consider that when Holy Prophet (PBUH) married Aisha while she was nine it was some 1400 years back and it happened in Arabia, a region with relatively lower altitude and hot climate as one of its most salient features.

Leaving all the history aside, even now puberty at nine is no wonderful a phenomenon. Experts now suggest that age 7 (even 6 for some races) and not 8 should be considered precocious (i.e. early) for puberty among girls
Aisha (RA) was fit for the marriage, considering the puberty factor and physical bearing:

It is rather erroneous to say that Aisha (RA) was a child bride. She was a grown up girl.
Aisha herself narrates; ‘Holy Prophet (PBUH) married her when she was six years old and consummated the marriage when she was nine years old…’ (Bukhari, Hadith 4738)

Having known this, let me draw your attention to another saying of Aisha(RA) which Al-Tirmidhi has narrated under a Hadith in his collection’s Book of Marriage, Chapter 18. It goes as:

Aisha(RA) said: ‘When a girl is nine years old, she is a woman (meaning, she has attained puberty).’ (Tirmidhi, Hadith 1109)
It follows that the Holy Prophet (PBUH) marriage with Sayyidah Aisha was completed when she was nine as she had attained puberty and, as she herself said that at nine a girl is rather a woman, but he did not burden her with tough responsibilities of a wife and provided her ample opportunities to enjoy her age.

Moreover, through certain narrations we come to know of the fact she was going through her puberty. Modern science testifies that puberty causes hair loss and this is exactly what we read in a Hadith:
Narrated Aisha(RA): “The Prophet engaged me when I was a girl of six (years). We went to Medina and stayed at the home of Bani-al-Harith bin Khazraj then I got ill and my hair fell down…” (Bukhari Hadith 3605)

So this makes it absolutely clear that Aisha’s(RA) marriage was consummated at an age, she herself says was that of puberty. The general tone of her statement also conveys that it was normal in those times and in that environment.

It also needs to be mentioned that even before the Holy Prophet (PBUH), she was engaged with Jubair bin Mut’am whose parents dissolved the engagement when her family embraced Islam.
All these details kill the argument that Holy Prophet (PBUH) had intimate marital relations with a child, for in that particular sense she was no more a child and she herself testifies that being a nine year old she was a woman then having attained puberty.

Moreover, she was quite healthy and fit. She herself says:
‘My mother intended to make me fat to send me to the (house of) the Messenger of Allah (PBUH). But nothing which he desired benefited me till she gave me cucumber with fresh dates to eat. Then I became fat as good (as she desired).’ (Abu Dawud, Hadith 3903. Albani classified it as Sahih)
Aisha’s (RA) marriage and consent issue:

Next comes the issue of her consent. Her nikah, the marital contract, was made when she was six but the marriage was consummated when she was nine. Now had she showed her displeasure about this marriage when she was nine, and thus a woman according to her own testimony, then marriage would haven been null and void, but it never turned up like that. She did not show any such notion and similarly never in her later life did she ever give any such impression. She rather always showed her love for the Holy Prophet (PBUH).

Wisdom behind this marriage:

We know that Aisha (RA) was considered the most learned among the all the Companions of the Holy Prophet (PBUH). The following testifies to this.

Abu Musa al-Ashari says: "Never had we (the companions) any difficulty for the solution of which we approached Aisha and did not get some useful information from her". (Tirmidhi, Hadith 3883. Albani classified it as Sahih)

She narrated some 2210 Ahadith from the Prophet (PBUH) and this was possible only because she lived with him for nine years and that too at a young age when people have a sharp memory and great sense of observation. Then she lived for about 46 years after the death of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) and continued to teach the people matters of religion especially those related to household affairs and marital life. No other wife of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) did the similar job that may be compared with her blessed endeavors. This shows the Divine Wisdom for it was not the Prophet himself but Allah that ordained this marriage. She herself reports;

Allah's Messenger (PBUH) said to me, ‘You were shown to me twice (in my dream) before I married you. I saw an angel carrying you in a silken piece of cloth, and I said to him, 'Uncover (her),' and behold, it was you.’ (Bukhari, Hadith 6495)

Thus do Allah’s plans work in a marvelous way!

INDEED ALLAH KNOWS THE BEST!

source: letmeturnthetables(dot)come

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umairlooms
08-10-2015, 11:10 AM
thanks
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UnNaMeD__
08-11-2015, 01:49 PM
Thanks for info.
Two questions:

1. If Muhammad(PBUH) married a girl of age 9. Muslims than also do this as it becomes sunnah for them?
2. How marriages happened these days? I mean it was an arranged or love marriage?
Thanks!
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Muslim Woman
08-11-2015, 03:58 PM
:sl:

Originally Posted by UnNaMeD__
Thanks for info.
Two questions:

1. If Muhammad(PBUH) married a girl of age 9. Muslims than also do this as it becomes sunnah for them?
2. How marriages happened these days? I mean it was an arranged or love marriage?
Thanks!

Prophet pbuh married aged , divorced and widows with kids . Normally people don't say it's sunnat for Muslim men to marry such types of women. They always prefer young virgin .

Thousand years ago , it was common for all women to get married early . Now a days , by men made law it's forbidden to marry a 9 years old girl .

Normally love marriage means boy and girl having haram relationship before marriage , spent time together in private etc etc . Prophet pbuh did not do any such behaviour . So , though they knew each other before marriage , i think it's better to say it was an arranged one - to be more specific , Allah decided it and Prophet pbuh had a dream on it before this marriage takes place .

And Allah knows Best.
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najimuddin
08-13-2015, 05:32 AM
Originally Posted by UnNaMeD__
Thanks for info.
Two questions:

1. If Muhammad(PBUH) married a girl of age 9. Muslims than also do this as it becomes sunnah for them?
2. How marriages happened these days? I mean it was an arranged or love marriage?
Thanks!
Assalamu alaikum UnNaMeD,

To add some more information to the answer you already received:

1. The article above makes a distinction between what a girl and woman is. We can refer to the article for clarification. As a psychology professor, I can confidently state that our perceptions are the product of our experiences. This experience has led us to label as children individuals who have fully mature adult bodies (i.e. under the "legal" age of 18). There are a number of influences that have contributed to this over the course of time. They include a complex combination of colonialism, missionary work, and the "pop culture" messages we receive through the various types of media. Consequently, in relation to our discussion, most fully physically mature individuals in the "children" category, are indeed children psychologically. They do not have the ability to make adult decisions nor take on adult responsibilities. This is in stark contrast to Muslim societies about 100 - 150 years ago, let alone during the time of the Prophet (PBUH).

In light of this, it is very important to understand that most Muslims today have perceptions of Islam that are not in agreement with what our Prophet (PBUH) taught us. As a result, they are not practicing Islam properly (i.e. honor killings, forced marriages, not praying 5 times a day, etc.). Confused Muslims are continuously misrepresenting Islam and causing shame and embarrassment. There are numerous news stories that illustrate this. (I'm new so I can't post any links)

So, no, there is no blanket permission in Islam for our issue. There are conditions that must be met. Without a doubt, these conditions most definitely will not be met by most Muslims in our time.

2. The answer to your second query lies in the answer above along with the sister's reply.
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