Assalaamu alaikum Abdirizak,
(sigh. gently) Do you realize that
you yourself have committed a sin Abdirizak? Do you not know that the Prophet (SAWS) instructed us not to be suspicious, spy and eavesdrop on people? That even if there are signs, that we should avoid looking into others' sins, unless they are overt?
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales. and do not look for the others' faults, and do not do spying on one another, and do not practice Najsh, and do not be jealous of one another and do not hate one another, and do not desert (stop talking to) one another. And O, Allah's worshipers! Be brothers!"
حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ يُوسُفَ، أَخْبَرَنَا مَالِكٌ، عَنْ أَبِي الزِّنَادِ، عَنِ الأَعْرَجِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ " إِيَّاكُمْ وَالظَّنَّ، فَإِنَّ الظَّنَّ أَكْذَبُ الْحَدِيثِ، وَلاَ تَحَسَّسُوا، وَلاَ تَجَسَّسُوا، وَلاَ تَنَاجَشُوا، وَلاَ تَحَاسَدُوا، وَلاَ تَبَاغَضُوا، وَلاَ تَدَابَرُوا، وَكُونُوا عِبَادَ اللَّهِ إِخْوَانًا ".
Reference |
: Sahih al-Bukhari 6066 |
In-book reference |
: Book 78, Hadith 96 |
USC-MSA web (English) reference |
: Vol. 8, Book 73, Hadith 92 |
Note:
To practice Najsh I believe means to artificially augment a price or desirability of a thing or a person in order to ensnare another person. I wonder, given the context, whether it might not also refer to entrapment in general.
It has been reported that a man was brought before Abdullah bin Mas'ud (May Allah be pleased with him) because his beard was giving out smell of wine. Ibn Mas'ud said:
"We have been prohibited from spying (on Muslims) and finding faults (with them). But we can take to task only and only if the sin is overt.
[Abu Dawud].
وعن ابن مسعود رضي الله عنه أنه أتي برجل فقيل له، هذا فلان تقطر لحيته خمرًا، فقال: إنَّا قد نهينا عن التجسس، ولكن إن يظهر لنا شئ، نأخذ به". حديث حسن صحيح رواه أبو داود بإسناد على شرط البخاري ومسلم.
Sunnah.com reference |
: Book 18, Hadith 62 |
Arabic/English book reference |
: Book 18, Hadith 157 |
I think it is wonderful that you care about your sister. But you went too far; you should not have been trying to find wrongdoing on her part. If you were concerned about her, you could instead have gently and kindly let her know that you were worried about her and that you were open to anything she might want to ask you, and that you would help her if she needed any help.
You say she terminated the relationship; perhaps she realized by herself that what she was doing was wrong?
At this point, I think you need to cover her mistake. Unless her wellbeing or life are in danger, spreading around the knowledge of her sin is not going to bring any benefit, but may indeed harm her, and make any positive changes in her life harder to make. (smile) Maybe you could offer her your brotherly support? Without telling her you have been spying on her, let her know that she can talk with you. You might let her know that you understand that since her sister left, that perhaps she feels she has no confidant. But that if she has any problems, she can talk with you. And that you'll support her if she gets into any kind of trouble. (smile) She may not confide in you straight away. But I suspect that if you give your sister some gentle caring (sustained over time), that she may feel less of a need to seek love elsewhere. And she may come to rely more on your advice. (smile) If you go about it well, you could even crack jokes about fending off unkind men with a baseball bat!
(gently) We all sin, Abdirizak. As Muslims, as I understand Allah's Words and His Messenger, unless someone is being actively harmed or oppressed by another, we are supposed to try
not to see their sins, and instead look for the best and beautiful in other people.
May Allah, the Compassionate, Loving and Merciful, Forgive us our failings, and Support us in our struggles to become better.