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View Full Version : How do you find out her Wali's info, if you do not know her?



Arabi
11-10-2015, 07:54 AM
I am a 22 year old male, wanting to marry, and I seem to have this issue time and time again.

I attend a lot of Islamic events, Muslim student organizations etc. and have often times seen Muslimah's who catch my eye, because of their modesty, character, and/or beauty.

Some of these Muslimah's I wish I could have proposed marriage to, but at that time, I did not know how to go about it because I do not know their family, who
they are, or who her father is, so I can propose marriage to them for the sake of getting to know them further through their Wali (guardian)

Just last week, there was a huge event where there were a couple sisters who I wish I knew who their father was so I could have my family ask their father for marriage, but again, I only saw the girl and no family so I did not know how to go about it.

My question is, how do you go about getting the family details of a girl you are interested in, if you do not know her, or have no mutual friends/connections with her?

Like even if you were to manage to get her father's email or phone number, wouldn't it be extremely awkward or offensive to have your family propose marriage to a family that do not know who you or your family is?

Basically to sum it up, my 2 questions are:

1.) How do you get the Wali's information of a girl you are interested in, but have no idea how to get her families contact info? Like for example If I see a girl at a Muslim event that interests me but I do not know her or her family and they live in very different cities, should I send someone for me directly to her and have them ask for her father's phone number and full name.

2.) Even if you do manage to get this information, how would your family approach her father or call her father if he has no idea who you are? Like we are not living in the old days where it was completely normal to knock on a stranger's door, be invited in for tea, and ask the father for his daughters hand in marriage. These were the customs back then, but now if you so much so knock on the door of someones house you dont know you could have the police called on you.
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strivingobserver98
11-10-2015, 01:27 PM
Brother have you tried doing it at least once?

1) Try directly asking her for fathers number if there's no other form of contact.

2) You can phone the father and see if he is okay with it beforehand. Of course he will know who you are, if just tell him I saw your daughter in Uni/event etc.
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ajr
11-10-2015, 01:58 PM
The custom does seem strange now, doesn't it. This is what i do...it might not help...i never send my kids out alone on any social event...my eldest daughter is 23yrs...in days gone by she would often 'hate' the idea that she was a girl or that she was the eldest and being a girl...what i do now is no1 can go if the others cant come...to me its just as simple as, they get to bond on a family level and at the same time when its a 'guy' that is interested in either 1 of my daughters the others are there to 'sum him up'. Other than that my daughters would forward my num or their fathers num to the person interested in them, which the young men often find strange, as i reside in a 'western' country this custom has almost become non-existant. Today we find either girls go out to meet young men or they just stop and bleep the horn outside the house or revv their car or turn up the volume on the radio...all of which i find disrespectful...and there is no way in the blue hell that i would send my kids out on any expedition with someone that i dont know....so after a few visits i will allow them to go out as a collective (1unit)...

Its easy to find a way, approach her friends and or send a note to her at the venue and ask her if you dont want to approach her directly.
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