Confused

[Muslimah1985]

Salam alaikkum to all,
I am need of Islamic advice, I knew my husband before he was forced by family to be marry his same nationality.
I was not Muslim that time although I’ve been to Islamic School. Misunderstanding of hijab and multiple wives was not acceptable to me.
It wasn’t easy for him to marry me due to bad experience with ex wife (same my nationality), it was hard to convinced his family that I am not same as ex wife because it was really bad experience.
He told many times he will marry me, when he got married with Arab I avoid him, I was lost and his family testify how much he love me.
Immediately after marrying the woman, he run away from her, without flight he took bus days to come back to me.
Then one day I almost get married and he cried to his mother, and mother said dontworry she won’t get marry to console him. My marriage was broke off for some reason subhanallah. I really tried my best to avoid him knowing he got married, khallas.
Time passes and he told me nothing happen between them and he cannot love her whatsoever, and I become Muslim and alhamdollellah never miss the fasting as well and I still strive hard to be Muslim.
We got married and bless with son who is 3yrs old. Knowing that the Arab wife is not a “wife”, basically they are not even friends. After work he comes to our home spend time and go back to wife/parents home to sleep. He didn’t inform Arab wife about 2days off so 1full day off he is with us.
The whole family kept complaining about Arab wife’s attitude, everyone literally swears her, I’m just hearing all this. From day 1 though I tried to atleast to meet her, I decided to keep distance because she always give many comments and one time she answered mother in law phone and she act she committed suicide just because I didn’t say “salam alaikkum” which even not true and if ever I didn’t say salam alaikkum I spoke to her properly and we end short conversation properly. It was then drama after hospital confirmed she didn’t drink anything.
Husband is a peaceful man, for example in years of marriage, he never get angry unless something really stupid. Or provoke him.
I heard that Arab wife was beaten many times but I didn’t go into details, because the more you know the evil can play around you. So literally I live all by myself and go to family gathering when shes not there.

Last week, one sister got furious because husband almost killed wife and all of them literally asking husband to divorce her because theres no point of living together, he don’t love her and they always fight and Arab wife said she will leave him because his anger is more and more daily.
I forgot to mention, the Arab wife never had period (this was not informed before marriage) and therefore cannot have child. Doctor confirmed. Subhanallah

So I spoke to husband to fear for his fate and Allah, live with her in peace or leave her than beating her or me and him will not be good also, this is initial reaction for what is right and even in the end of story he don’t have the right to beat her.
He said I told her to go many times to her family she wont, okay I will try not to beat her, don’t threaten me.
In this story, something is eating my mind now. One sister said “what keeping her as spare?” another sister commented “shes sexy that’s all he keeps her, but brother said he barely sleep with her once in a month”

These two sisters were good and I am sure due to emotion they share this information to me because they cant find reason why he don’t leave her when all people hate her, basically some brother do not attend gathering if she’s there.
In view of all this, now I confirmed that the marriage with Arab woman was real though they are not friends-couple because their mind is not parallel, but they are normal couple. Now I am feeling like a stone, if I knew this I don’t think I will marry him because I don’t want any woman to come to my marriage too. And he deceit me, he made me believe that nothing between them…

I am not speaking with him for many days now and I don’t like to go to hell of course. My questions are:

1. If ever I continue to be civil with him for son sake,,, I don’t think I need divorce but I cant sleep with him anymore… this evil thing is too much, I will imagine them together, its crazy.

I don’t know what to do.

[Muslimah1985]

The Arab wife wont leave him, I understand she feels bad she cant have a child so she will never leave him, and for me I live in reality, if I dont like anyone i never harm or take revenge, i k

[greenhill]

I'm confused. What can I advise on matters of marriage?

You married him knowing he was already married. You are told he is not happy with the Arab wife and prefers you.
In fact he beats up the other because. . .

You have it better. So why the sudden change when you found that he may be sharing a bed about once a month with the other legally wedded wife?

:peace: