The weekend has kicked in and you have just shaken off all the tension of the week. Looking forward to a good time over the weekend, you head for your favourite sofa and slump on it with a glass of juice in your hand – relaxed, alone and casual. All of a sudden, you hear a “beep” on your smart phone. The message invites you to an internet site which promises to deliver unlimited amount of exciting and stimulating adult fun, for only R5-00 a day. Nervously looking around, you tell yourself: “Let me just register for a day, then I will unsubscribe.” This is the biggest mistake you can ever make in your life.
Like gambling, drugs, smoking and alcohol, you can become addicted to pornography just by simple curiosity. Children in particular are most vulnerable, as they love to experiment with their bodies at a certain age. Even adults can be easily hooked if they are experiencing any type of emotional disturbance that day, something as small as a petty argument with his wife. It comes as no surprise, thus, that learners as young as eight, have been caught on the school playground, selling porn to other children for R5-00 per 10 minutes on their smart phones. Surprisingly, some adults in their 70’s, routinely embarrass their great grandchildren by watching porn openly in the family living room.
A study conducted in South Africa last month revealed that over 20 000 girls aged eight (8) became pregnant in 2012, pointing to the alarming fact that children are now becoming sexually active at a very young age. According to the Sunday Times (20th Oct. ’13), we now also have a new fashion amongst people who take nude pictures of themselves, often in provocative positions (a term called “Sexting”) and circulate them to friends all over the world. Ultimately these photographs fall in the hands of paedophiles who use these very same pictures to blackmail these kids when they become adults.
Pornography is not only the most sellable commodity, it is the cheapest. Satellite TV channels offer you 24-hour pornography for just R99- per month. Out of an estimated 3.9 billion website pages on the internet, there are 460 million pages officially designated to hardcore pornography. This is about 16% of the entire worldwide web. Statistics show that almost 28% of all searches on the most popular search engine “Prof. Google,” relate to pornography, and one in every four downloads is pornography. Over 98 million people visit pornographic sites on an average month, 26% of whom are 45 or older.
If these statistics are not sufficient to convince us of the sex-crazed world we are living in, we just have to look around us. No one can go to a supermarket without passing the magazine stand with the most popular magazines in full view: Playboy, FHM or Men’s Health. Fortunately, these magazines are wrapped in plastic, or else everyone would be queuing at the magazine stand for a free peek! The billboards on our highway have naked women on every second sign, especially the ones that advertise wristwatches and jewellery. These jewellery items are so small on the women that only after scrutinising the whole woman from top to bottom, you realise that you were supposed to see the watch on her hand, and not the pimple on her thigh! This year, the five-day Sexpo was even advertised six months before the time. After the popular pain-killer Panado, tablets such as Viagra, Levitra, Cialis and Indiagra are the fastest selling, with customers as young as 16 using them frequently. Which occasion of ours is free from that hilarious dirty joke, and who wouldn’t die to become the next Miss World or at least, a model for the latest designer label?
What is Pornography?
Pornography is not a harmless pastime, but a dangerous addiction. Essentially, it is a dirty fantasy that makes one feel worthy only if one can perform like a crazy sex-machine in bed. In order to achieve this purpose, men and women ogle at explicit erotic scenes that not only unnaturally stimulates oneself, but which increases in intensity over time in order to achieve a better “high.”
The Master Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him said): “When modesty is lost, then you will do whatever fancies you.” Thus pornography doesn’t end only with viewing. An essential part of it is the degradation of women, who are treated as nothing but emotionless objects of men’s pleasure. In the words of Helen Longino in his book “What is Pornography?”: “Their privates are fully exposed, whilst those of men are not. They are often insulted, gagged, tied up, blind-folded or made to dress or pose in such ridiculous positions so as to fulfil the sick fantasies of men. In doing so, they are depicted as “ever willing” to be used, humiliated, and insulted; to slavishly obey any male order, even if it means masturbation, bestiality, masochism, and other smutty modes which eventually leads on to rape, torture and mutilation…These women are then projected to have no care in the world – they don’t worry of AIDS, of pregnancy, or even themselves! It is no co-incidence that with the free availability of porn, there has been a corresponding increase in child-molestation, rape and paedophilia.”
Where does all this eventually lead to? In the words of Dr Haroon Sheik in his “Morality in Islam”: “Porn is inherently anti-family. The “booby-trapped” husband then expects his wife to perform his exotic fantasies like a rubber ball. His wife rightfully objects to behaving like a sex machine. Acutely aware that her figure is not like the latest pin-up, he is left frustrated and hungry to satisfy his lust. What does he do? He searches for more explicit porn, more XXX videos, and finally ends up in a massage parlour or escort agency. Since he has constantly witnessed the abuse of women in porn, he can not force his wife, girlfriend or children to do it for him, so he forces a prostitute to do it.”
I beg all couples never to accept pornography as a normal part of their intimate life. Pornography equals infidelity. Never video yourself in the bedroom and never discuss your private lives with anyone. Take down all immodest pictures of yourself from your BB profile pictures, Facebook and Twitter accounts, whether you are single or married. Remember a porn addict never stays a porn addict. The person, maybe even your own husband or wife, will go on to become a psychopath, an abuser, a rapist, an eventually a serial-killer. This revelation is not from the tassel of my topi, but it’s the confession of Ted Bundy, the worst serial sexual criminal in history, who confessed to his pastor how porn led him to become a crazed murderer, just minutes before he was executed.
Harms of Porn
Porn has nothing to do with improving one’s intimate life. Those few minutes of devilish pleasure will alter your personality according to psychologists. This is how:
Profile of the Victim
- Porn addicts feel that the purpose of life is to be sexually active all the time. Such sickos are only concerned with the physical part of it. They have no clue on how to build and sustain a meaningful relationship with a woman. In the words of Susan Brownmiller in her book “Against our Will”: “Our bodies are only used to bolster masculine esteem which gets its kick from viewing females as anonymous, adult dehumanised objects to be used, abused, broken and discarded…As the acts increase, it unknowingly create a neurological circuit that imprisons their ability to see women rightly as created in God’s image”
- As the human body cannot withstand frequent loss of semen, the body weakens and the nerves become unstable. Addicts as young as 28 have been reported to be as cold as a corpse next to their wives in bed; and many a time, this has led to divorce. A typical child addict would neglect his school work, throw tantrums, become an isolationist and would suffer from depression. As he grows up, he will become controlling, highly introverted, he will suffer from anxiety attacks, have low self esteem and will lack communication skills.
If porn is so widespread, one can safely surmise that thousands of women are prepared to happily degrade themselves and destroy their reputation, only for the sake of money or acceptance in society. Such wicked women not only distort the image of their own species, but actually promote the idea that their only worth is in their hot looks, slim bodies and red lips. They have no other human attribute of worth. The naked body in its natural beauty and normal function, for them, is boring. Reality does not exist for them. They also do not mind the humiliation of their videos being distributed worldwide, many years after the act, in order to entertain complete strangers.
As the vast majority of women do have a sense of decency, it is found that most people who do contribute to this filthy industry are abused children, maybe a child of incest or those who hail from a broken home or a home where it is normal for the entire family to parade themselves naked in front of each other. Islam is so strict in these matters that besides ensuring that one’s ‘awrah (certain body-parts) are covered all the time, children need to be separated in their beds as soon as they mature. An unstable home feeds an unstable society.
Let those who are paying for porn in whatever way – by means of magazine subscriptions, internet sites, DVD rentals, downloads, – cancel them immediately and start donating the money to their local Masjid. Destroy all shameless magazines and videos, and reformat your computers and smart phones. Repent sincerely and keep a copy of this verse in every corner of your house, office and car: “O Muhammad (peace be upon him), tell the believers to lower their gazes and protect their privates. This is purer for them. Verily your Lord is aware of your doings.” (Qur’an 24:30) Women addicts, put up the verse thereafter: 24:31.
Finally, every man is entitled to be betrothed to a wife who will provide him with life-long, limitless, in-house, clean adult entertainment – all with due respect and responsibility. All this is available for a bargain: a once off-payment called mehr (dowry). Enjoy what’s in your plate. Don’t look over your shoulder.