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ayaanaa
11-25-2015, 09:39 PM
Im sorry i cant tell if this is in the right subforum. Before i was a Muslim revert and was an atheist, I was a lesbian. I had a girlfriend, and me and her were very much in 'love'. However the relationship ended badly and she ended up cheating.

From that situation I fell into depression and thats where I came to Islam. It was difficult to move on at first but I began doing better and decided to stop dating and inshallah I would marry a Muslim man.

Recently its come to my attention that she has a new girlfriend. And as much as I thought I was over it, Ive basically fallen back into how I felt when I first found out she was cheating. I dont think I should feel this way, especially since Im done with being a lesbian and dating. But its difficult when at one point she was a big part of my life.

While im thankful for her cheating in a way, I dont know what I can do to get over her. And Im please asking for no judgement even though I know many of you are opposed to homosexuality [emoji173] We are all going through something.

Im also having difficulty with staying away from haram. I often remember "those who imitate them are them" and I just dont know. I feel hopelessly lost at this point.
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*charisma*
11-25-2015, 10:13 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

I think homosexuality is a difficult subject for some people to talk about, but you should do more to keep your mind off of your desires. Keep busy and keep busy with Allah. When people make mistakes, or do wrong things, their conscience sort of kicks in and they feel guilty, or even disgusted with themselves to the point that they'd never want to repeat their mistakes. You have to get that point in your iman where you can separate your past self and your present self and move forward. There's a famous saying called "out of sight, out of mind" whatever is bringing your "attention" towards her should be removed. If you have mutual friends, if you have her on social media, whatever it is, you need to remove that from your life. With someone getting cheated on, I think it's their ego that hurts more than anything else, so you need to know that she is not worth your time or future, and there is no benefit dwelling on the past.

And just like any heterosexual desires, homosexual desires need to be treated in the same manner. Do not provoke them by watching or being in the presence of something that will arouse you. I don't know to what level your homosexuality is, but it seems that you are moving in the right direction inshallah and you're trying to eradicate it, or at least live a more lawful life. May Allah make it easy for you inshallah.
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Search
11-25-2015, 10:28 PM
:bism:

:sl:

Sent you a PM, sis!

:wa:
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farhan
11-25-2015, 10:37 PM
:sl: sis,

Keep in mind that the day you became Muslim, your like a new born baby alhamdulilah.

Anything of the past is forgiven :).

When someone converts to Islam, God forgives all of his previous sins and evil deeds. A man called Amr came to the Prophet Muhammad and said, “Give me your right hand so that I may give you my pledge of loyalty.” The Prophet stretched out his right hand. Amr withdrew his hand. The Prophet said: {What has happened to you, O Amr?} He replied, “I intend to lay down a condition.” The Prophet asked: {What condition do you intend to put forward?} Amr said, “That God forgive my sins.” The Prophet said: {Didn’t you know that converting to Islam erases all previous sins?}
[Narrated in Saheeh Muslim, #121, and Mosnad Ahmad, #17357]

After converting to Islam, the person will be rewarded for his or her good and bad deeds according to the following saying of the Prophet Muhammad: {Your Lord, Who is blessed and exalted, is most merciful. If someone intends to do a good deed but does not do it, a good deed will be recorded for him. And if he does do it, (a reward of) ten to seven hundred or many more times (the reward of the good deed), will be recorded for him. And if someone intends to do a bad deed but does not do it, a good deed will be recorded for him. And if he does do it, a bad deed will be recorded against him or God will wipe it out.}
[Narrated in Mosnad Ahmad, #2515, and Saheeh Muslim, #131.]
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Eric H
11-27-2015, 07:08 PM
Greetings and peace be with you ayaanaa;

The solution that will lead to peace, is for you to forgive your ex, even if she shows no sign of remorse.

Injustice happens, and that leads to anger, and anger is like picking up a burning coal, with the intention of throwing it at the person who angers you, but the person who gets burned the most is you. The longer you hold onto the burning coal of anger, the hotter it becomes. The person who angers you, controls you, in other words, you give them permission to control your mind day and night, this can lead to depression, because you have no power to put things right in the way you want.

As has been said, Allah forgave your past sins when you became a Muslim, if you can forgive those who anger you, it will then help you to understand how Allah can forgive you. When you forgive someone, you also need to pray for them, that Allah will also forgive them for what they have done to you, and you do not want Allah to punish them, all debts have been cancelled.

You will never forget the past, but when you forgive someone, you let go of the anger.

Just as an example, at the tender age of 62, I believe that I was unfairly sacked from my job after ten years of service without a day off sick. Since being sacked, I have probably done well over a thousand hours voluntary work for the people who sacked me. I have been to this place of work twice this week as a volunteer, and have also spoken to the person partly responsible for getting me sacked.

I can only say this has left me with a profound sense of peace, I hold no animosity towards them, and did not pursue my right to appeal for unfair dismissal, even though things were put in writing that would have helped my case. When you forgive, you gain back the control in your life, you do not have to hate or be angry.

In the spirit of praying to a merciful and forgiving God,

Eric
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KhalidDaPoet
11-27-2015, 08:27 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

In terms of the person whom you loved and now fallen in love again sense finding out she has a new GF. What I can tell you is simple. Whoever she is or was she isn't the same person. She doesn't love you and if she cheated on you for sure she didn't love you. I am not saying this to be mean but to be honest. Those desires are a big deal. Myself being a married Man I know firsthand it is tough to stay away from Fitna. It is real tough. But we have to try our best and succeed. We can't let Shaitan win. If anything, you need to remember this 'love' you have for your EX put it towards Allah (swt) and prophet Muhammad (pbuh). try putting these emotions towards the Person who was the best creation. The person who would of loved you so much if you were his companion or sahaba. And even better Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said he loved those who followed after him who believe in him without seeing him. Imagine he loves you 10 times more than your ex would. In sha' Allah if you keep this in mind I believe it will help.

Peace
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