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sunnimuslim1878
11-29-2015, 08:01 AM
I was abused by my parents which caused my NPD,I won't be going into that right now,but it made me want reassurance from women,success,looking down on others and desiring the dunya,i tried to be pious,but the lack of supply simply made me want more,made me extremely depressed and i was on the verge of doing things which could be concidered immoral but i simply have lost all care for morality,what should i do?
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Snow
11-29-2015, 09:00 AM
There are 2 directions in life.
Become a better person or not.
Do that.
Work towards becoming a better person.
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*charisma*
11-29-2015, 12:19 PM
Assalamu Alaikum,

What should you do? The opposite of what you're doing.

Forgive your parents and move on. You still have some morality in you because you know what you're doing is wrong...you just need to increase that feeling by righting your wrongs.
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sunnimuslim1878
11-29-2015, 01:56 PM
it isnt that i "know" what im doing is wrong,i quit frankly dont give a crap about that guy who got murdered,or the paris bombing,its just because i tried to follow Islam and revisited my teenage self that got supply from good deeds and tried to revisit that self,does this come in insanity?because i havent chosen anything that happened,forgive my parents?ive taken revenge through emotional manipulation etc not too rageful about them now....
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ayaanaa
11-29-2015, 02:45 PM
I'm sure Allah is aware of your situation and mental illnesses are very real and something that you can't just "change" without treatment. Have you ever considered visting a therapist to talk about the root cause of this?
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sunnimuslim1878
11-29-2015, 03:21 PM
I know what the root cause is,its because of experiences im not willing to discuss in public.if their is an option to private message,however......
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ayaanaa
11-29-2015, 03:25 PM
Originally Posted by sunnimuslim1878
I know what the root cause is,its because of experiences im not willing to discuss in public.if their is an option to private message,however......
I understand that, but if you know what the reasons are thats a step closer to recovery. I reccomend talking about the reasons to a therapist and see if they can help you
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ardianto
11-29-2015, 04:59 PM
:sl:

As an oldtimer I have written many posts which I often enough talked about myself. Everyone may have various impression on what I have written in my posts. But I am sure, those who understand psychology can easily see the sign of narcissism in my posts.

Am I narcissist?. I cannot definite although if I must honest I indeed feel some sign of narcissism in myself. But the cause was different. I have been accustomed with special treatment by people who treated me like a prince, that actually just because my family status in the society. And I also always be praised and adored, since I was baby!. Yeah, live like this is very pleasant. But let me honest, it also made my personality very fragile. I am always afraid that I would be disliked by the others. I am always afraid that people would look down on me if they know that I have weakness.

How I deal with it?.

I convince myself that above the sky, there is another sky. It's mean no matter how high I am, there's always other people who higher than me. So I should not expect to be praised because instead of praising me, people would laugh at me because they can see that there are other people who better than me.

I convince myself, if I want to be respected by the others, I must respect the others. If I want to get attention from the others, I must give attention to the others. If I want people have positive view on me, I have to be humble. My life experience taught me that not wealth, not success, not achievement that would make people have positive view on my, but my humbleness.

As a narcissist, of course I adore myself and believe that I am special. But I convince myself that the only thing that makes me being the special is if I can give benefit the others and make the others happy. That's why I always try to do act of kindness toward the others. And every time after I did an act of kindness and made the others happy, I always look at the mirror and smile at myself. This is the moment that always makes me happy.

Maybe we will never able to remove narcissism in our hearts. But we still can channeling it onto the right way.

:)
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greenhill
11-29-2015, 05:07 PM
I can only presume you are 'young' and I tell you there's no manual for raising children. Something every parent finds out the hard way. Despite the input there's no guarantee of the outcome. You are dealing with another person here, with own feelings etc.

On your other matters of faith, it's not about the outside world, it's the internal jihad. To slowly cleanse ourselves. It's a lifelong journey.


:peace:
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MuslimInshallah
11-30-2015, 03:00 AM
Assalaamu alaikum Sunni (twinkle. Or sonny!),


Mmm... what brings you to conclude that you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder? We are all a little self-centred, and especially young adults in their teen years can have narcissistic traits, but to actually say you have NPD... how do you know this?


May Allah, the Kind, Help us to restrain our Selves.
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sunnimuslim1878
11-30-2015, 05:23 AM
A very fragile super ego,a need for excessive admiriation from women,need other men fawning over my success etc
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*charisma*
11-30-2015, 10:37 AM
What makes you think in your mind that you're a better person by having the validity of other women, looking down on others, and having others be "jealous" of your success?

What if you changed that concept and thought of it instead in a negative light?

Personally as a woman, I'd tell you that a guy who is easily swayed by other women is weak and not worth anyone's time, and a woman who flutters her eye lashes for one man will do it for another, so you're not as special as you think. And a man who looks down on others has a lot to look down on himself, and a man who needs others to be jealous of him does not have much to offer except an appearance that will leave him when he leaves this world, but what can you secure for yourself in the next life? It's like saying, "Hey I have enough money that I can buy a vacation home!!" but when your vacation (this world) is over, where do you go? You're homeless and your vacation home is gone, and in the end...no one can be jealous of that.

So instead of comparing your success to other people who may not have much in terms of deeds and true contentment, compare yourself to those who have more than you in deeds and good character. Where do you stand now with your narcissism? To know that someone in this world may be more beloved than you by Allah because he does good without expecting anything. Or who can protect and respect women without enticing them? Or can be loved by women without them having to see him because of his kindness and generosity. I don't mean to be blunt, but I would never seek my validity from another creation like that, because when Allah loves someone, His creation will also love that person. So for me to put the efforts to make someone jealous of what I have is futile...the only people who get jealous of the worldly things others have are the ones who are bankrupt. Much more challenging and plausible, I think, to seek the approval of the Banker himself, right? So if the Banker in your life is not Allah, then you don't have much of anything at all, even if you think you do.
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ayaanaa
11-30-2015, 10:43 AM
Originally Posted by sunnimuslim1878
A very fragile super ego,a need for excessive admiriation from women,need other men fawning over my success etc
Just know if you do have the disorder, its a disorder and its not your fault. Just as someone having cancer is not their fault. You will get through this [emoji173]
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MuslimInshallah
11-30-2015, 06:27 PM
Assalaamu alaikum Sunni,


Mmm... according to a post earlier this year, you are a boy of about 15 now. (smile) I rather think that you've been looking online and come across some descriptions of narcissism (as a disorder) and noticed that you share some traits. (twinkle) Well, you probably do. Its actually quite normal. Many young people are a little self-absorbed.

What is useful is that you have noticed these traits (Incidentally, someone with NPD would likely not notice these traits and try to change. (smile) A true narcissist in the clinical sense is extremely resistant to admitting that they have any sort of problem whatsoever). This actually shows a maturation in your thinking, and is a very good sign, I think.

(gently) You had a problematic childhood? I empathize with you deeply. This is a heavy burden... (smile) but also an opportunity. Hardship can give us opportunities to understand others better and grow closer to Allah. They can give us the impetus to try harder to be better to others, than perhaps our parents were with us.

(smile) So by all means, start the lifelong work on becoming a better person. (twinkle) But perhaps spend a little less time diagnosing yourself with psychological disorders, and a little more time finding ways to be good to both yourself and others.


May God, the Gentle, Enfold you in His Care.
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ardianto
11-30-2015, 10:40 PM
Originally Posted by sunnimuslim1878
A very fragile super ego,a need for excessive admiriation from women,need other men fawning over my success etc
Actually, you are not a narcissist. A narcissist always see himself in positive view and he want other people see him like this. But he doesn't expect other people feel inferior on him. You are just someone with inferiority complex who want to do revenge toward people who look down on you through make them feel inferior.

But, will they inferior on you?. No!. They did that because their nature. Even if you can show them that you are higher than them, they will find another way through compare you with other people who are higher than you.

What you need is not admiration. What you need is love. And you will get love only if you are humble and can love the others.

Be humble, and share your love to other people through act of kindness. Do kindness to the others, randomly, in simple kindness. Help the old people and children to cross the road, help old ladies carrying their shopping bag, share your food with homeless. In Shaa Allah, they will love you and make you feel very valuable.

:)
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sunnimuslim1878
12-02-2015, 12:47 PM
I pointed this out before you retard,I made an account so i could relive my innocent teenage years where i was an uptight and pious person,I'll admit I liked the peace and contentment that brought me.So that was one of the reasons why I did that.
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