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BilalKid
12-13-2015, 01:18 AM
i read....

'Umar ibn Al-Khattab once said: "Do not force your young girls to marry an ugly man, for they also love what you love."

Ibn Abidin (a famous faqih from last century) said: "The woman should choose a man who is religious, of good character, generous and of ample wealth. She should not marry an evildoer. A person should not marry his young daughter to an old man and an ugly man but he should marry her to one similar."

then who will marry the ugly if everyone follow that??^o)
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new2010
12-13-2015, 01:50 AM
Brother, there are no ugly people; appearance is subjective. You may find women unattractive whereas other find them very attractive - other way around either. Same applies for women who look to men. Even it depends on the woman I guess, if she wants a husband who has good religion and behaviour and has a right intention to get married, she won't probably look to appearance, to be more precise: I think there are - without knowing the context of these Hadith - too ways of ugliness: the appearance and the ugliness insight of people. When a man has a good insight beauty it can make one very attractive from appearance, in my opinion - same for the other gender.
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Search
12-13-2015, 01:51 AM
:bism:

:sl:

I don't believe there's any human being that's ugly as we're all God's creation and God's handiwork is always beautiful.

Honestly, "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder."

"Handsome is as handsome does" also comes to mind.

:wa:
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HappyMuslimaa
12-13-2015, 02:52 AM
Beauty is as beauty does
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Kori Harpoon
12-13-2015, 03:26 AM
I'm the type of person that believes that if I thought a woman's face was plain but she had an excellent personality her face would turn into personality. But as for a woman with a man...hmm maybe they would think the same thing.
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Moshy
12-13-2015, 03:35 AM
According to the first source, Umar ibn Al-Khattab (raziAllah tallah) said not to FORCE. But if the girl is happy with the marriage then there shouldn't be problem.

But the second source clearly says not to marry young daughter to an old man.

Maybe im wrong. Please correct me if i am [emoji29]
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strivingobserver98
12-13-2015, 12:37 PM
Other then appearance..

Read this thread: http://www.islamicboard.com/family-a...ppearance.html

And change it to "His" :).
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AhmedGassama
12-13-2015, 02:10 PM
[QUOTE=BilalKid;2865843
then who will marry the ugly if everyone follow that??^o)[/QUOTE]

The ugly will marry an ugly lol

As simple as that :D
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strivingobserver98
12-13-2015, 02:34 PM
Not sure how accurate this scientific study is, but here you go...

And while you're at it, throw away all those beautifying pills, potions and creams in the medicine cabinet and cancel your subscription to the gym.

Because being ugly may actually help you attract the opposite sex, scientists believe.

They have found that having an 'unusual' appearance can be a good way to charm a mate.

It might help explain, for example, why Pretty Woman actress Julia Roberts found the somewhat facially-challenged Lyle Lovett alluring enough to marry.

Lead researcher Dr Rob Brooks said: 'Ugly individuals can sometimes do better than good-looking ones.'

His conclusion is based on animal studies. These showed that some prefer mates which the majority find unattractive, rather than always chasing the best-looking members of the opposite sex.

Experts believe the same theory could hold true for people. Dr Paul Rainey, a lecturer in biology at Oxford University, said: 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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ardianto
12-13-2015, 05:41 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by فرحان
Not sure how accurate this scientific study is, but here you go...

It might help explain, for example, why Pretty Woman actress Julia Roberts found the somewhat facially-challenged Lyle Lovett alluring enough to marry.
Lyle Lovett is far from handsome. But he is not ordinary guy. He is country singer-songwritter. Teen girls, indeed, attracted to handsomeness. But mature women attracted to the man's achievement.
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strivingobserver98
12-13-2015, 05:42 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto
Teen girls, indeed, attracted to handsomeness. But mature women attracted to the man's achievement.
Yes true :).

Reminds me of this article :D: http://muslimmatters.org/2012/08/28/...-muslim-style/
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aadil77
12-13-2015, 09:18 PM
:sl:

This reminds me of a story. Its been ages since Ive been on here

The Story of Julaybib

Julaybib means “small grown” being the diminutive form of the word “Jalbab.” The name is an indication that Julaybib was small and short, even of dwarf-like stature. More than that, he is described as being “damim” which means ugly, deformed, or of repulsive appearance. Even more disturbing, for the society in which he lived, Julaybib’s lineage was not known. There is no record of who his mother of his father was or to what tribe he belonged. This was a grave disability in the society in which he lived. Julaybib could not expect any compassion or help, any protection or support from a society that placed a great deal of importance on family and tribal connections. In this regard, all that was known of him was that he was an Arab and that, as far as the new community of Islam was concerned, he was one of the Ansar. Perhaps he belonged to one of the outlying tribes beyond Madinah and had drifted into the city or he could have even been from among the Ansar of the city itself.

The disabilities under which Julaybib lived would have been enough to have him ridiculed and shunned in any society and in fact he was prohibited by one person, a certain Abu Barzah of the Aslam tribe, from entering his home. He once told his wife: “Do not let Julaybib enter among you. If he does, I shall certainly do (something terrible to him).” Probably because he was teased and scoffed at in the company of men, Julaybib used to take refuge in the company of women. Was there any hope of Julaybib being treated with respect and consideration? Was there any hope of his finding emotional satisfaction as an individual and as a man? Was there any hope of his enjoying the relationships which others take for granted? And in the society emerging under the guidance of the Prophet, was he so insignificant as to be overlooked in the preoccupation with the great affairs of the state and in the supreme issues of life and survival which constantly engaged the attention of the Prophet?


Just as he was aware of the great issues of life and destiny, the Prophet of Mercy was also aware of the needs and sensibilities of his most humble companions. With Julaybib in mind, the Prophet went to one of the Ansar and said: “I want to have your daughter married.” “How wonderful and blessed, O Messenger of Allah and what a delight to the eye (this would be),” replied the Ansari man with obvious joy and happiness. “I do not want her for myself,” added the Prophet. “Then for whom, O Messenger of Allah?” asked the man, obviously somewhat let down. “For Julaybib,” said the Prophet. The Ansari must have been too shocked to give his own reaction and he merely said: “I will consult with her mother.” And off he went to his wife. “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, wants to have your daughter married,” he said to her. She too was thrilled. “What a wonderful idea and what a delight to the eye (this would be),” she said. “He does not want to marry her himself but he wants to marry her to Julaybib,” he added. She was flabbergasted.

“To Julaybib! No, never to Julaybib! No, by Allah, we shall not marry (her) to him,” she protested. As the Ansari was about to return to the Prophet to inform him of what his wife had said, the daughter who had head her mother’s protestations, asked: “Who has asked you to marry me?” Her mother told her of the Prophet’s request for her hand in marriage to Julaybib. When she heard that the request had come from the Prophet and that her mother was absolutely opposed to the idea, she was greatly perturbed and said: “Do you refuse the request of the Messenger of Allah? Send me to him for he shall certainly not bring ruin to me.” This was the reply of a truly great person who had a clear understanding of what was required of her as a Muslim. What greater satisfaction and fulfillment can a Muslim find than in responding willingly to the requests and commands of the Messenger of Allah! No doubt, this companion of the Prophet, whose name we do not even know had heard the verse of the Quran:

“It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error.” (The Qur’an, Surah al-Ahzab, 33:36)

This verse was revealed in connection with the marriage of Zaynab bint Jahsh and Zayd ibn al-Harithah which was arranged by the Prophet to show the egalitarian spirit of Islam. Zaynab at first was highly offended at the thought of marrying Zayd a former slave and refused to do so. The Prophet prevailed upon them both and they were married. The marriage however ended in divorce and Zaynab was eventually married to the Prophet himself. It is said that the Ansari girl read the verse to her parents and said: “I am satisfied and submit myself to whatever the Messenger of Allah deems good for me.” The Prophet heard of her reaction and prayed for her: “O Lord, bestow good on her in abundance and make not her life one of toil and trouble.” Among the Ansaar, it is said that there was not a more eligible bride than she. She was married by the Prophet to Julaybib and they lived together until he was killed.

And how was Julaybib killed? He went on an expedition with the Prophet, peace be upon him, and an encounter with some mushrikin (polytheists) ensued. When the battle was over, the Prophet asked his companions: “Have you lost anyone?” They replied giving the names of their relatives or close friends who were killed. He put the same questions to other companions and they also named the ones they had lost in the battle. Another group answered that they had lost no close relatives whereupon the Prophet said: “But I have lost Julaybib. Search for him in the battlefield.” They searched and found him beside seven mushrikin whom he had struck before meeting his end. The Prophet stood up and went to the spot where Julaybib, his short and deformed companion, lay. He stood over him and said: “He killed seven and then was killed? This (man) is of me and I am of him.” He repeated this two or three times. The Prophet then took him in his arms and it is said that he had no better bed besides the forearms of the Messenger of Allah. The Prophet then dug for him a grave and himself placed him in it. He did not wash him for martyrs and not washed before burial.

Julaybib and his wife are not usually among the Companions of the Prophet whose deeds are sung and whose exploits are recounted with reverence and admiration as they should be. But in the meagre facts that are known about them and which have here been recounted we see how humble human beings were given hope and dignity by the Prophet where once they was only despair and self-debasement. The attitude of the unknown and unnamed Ansari girl who readily agreed to be the wife of a physically unattractive man was an attitude which reflected a profound understanding of Islam. It reflected on her path the effacement of personal desires and preferences even when she could have counted on the support of her parents. It reflected on her part a total disregard for social pressures. It reflected above all a ready and implicit confidence in the wisdom and authority of the Prophet in submitting herself to whatever he deemed good. This is the attitude of the true believer.

In Julaybib, there is the example of a person who was almost regarded as a social outcast because of his appearance. Given help, confidence and encouragement by the noble Prophet, he was able to perform acts of courage and make the supreme sacrifice and deserve the commendation of the Prophet: “He is of me and I am of him.”

Transcribed from: Da’wah Publications, Issue #7, July 2008

https://theclearsunnah.wordpress.com...y-of-julaybib/
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ardianto
12-13-2015, 10:10 PM
Few of my friends are far from handsome. But they already married now.
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ardianto
12-14-2015, 12:47 AM
Ardianto : Father should not force his daughter to marry an old man who is poor and far from handsome.

The sisters : Agree!. We should not be forced to marry a man like that!.

Ardianto : Father also should not force his daughter to marry a young handsome rich man.

The sisters : Eh, bro!. We don't need to be forced to marry a man like that!.
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BilalKid
12-14-2015, 09:48 AM
gr8 responses :rock:
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strivingobserver98
12-14-2015, 01:44 PM
Whether your tall, short, fat, slim, attractive, unattractive etc..

Just remember one thing:

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