View Full Version : Insecurities

12-14-2015, 07:01 PM
Salaam brothers

I have suffering from a lot of anxiety, stress, anguish and regret and feeling very insecure looking at others specially my friends with what they achieved and what I have done, it seems I was a failure while they were able to achieve much more than me and that eats me from inside , needed advice and prescription of a dua also to forget these things

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Alpha Dude
12-14-2015, 07:54 PM
Wa alaykum salam,

There is nothing stopping you from achieving the same if not similar - believe in your own ability and have faith in Allah. There comes a time in a person's life where they can't continue to blame circumstance or bad parenting etc. for their perceived failures in life. You can change at any point in your life if you set your mind to it. If you continue to feel sad about things and blame others for your problem and look at other people with envy you will never get anywhere in life and will in fact fall further into a hole.

My advice, don't mope about the past. Move on. Draw a line. Start a fresh. Get studying, get working, go out make friends, exercise and feel good and feel proud of what you achieve yourself and stop caring what other people have done.

12-14-2015, 09:41 PM
If its monitory then start a business, see what's written.

My mate drives a Ferrari 458, last time I saw him he beat me at arm wrestling.. While I was shaking his hand lol.

I sat in my mates Nissan gtr and he asked me where mine was lol.

Dumbfounded at the sense of humour?

They say misery loves company but I suspect they were lying...

Acknowledged the downward spiral and stop, kick the habit.

Stay locked in a room for a while and you won't mind walking.

12-14-2015, 10:40 PM

I never feel superior toward those who are not as success as me. That's why I never feel inferior toward those who more success than me.

Brother, your problem happen because you have tendency to look down toward the others who are lower than you, although you do not realize it. And it give you boomerang effect when you see many of your friends are higher than you. You are so shocked, lose your pride, and start to assume that other people look down on you.

Stop comparing yourself with the others. Always humble to everyone. Humbleness will really help you to eliminate your superior-inferior feeling toward the others. Focus to build your own success, and always be grateful with what Allah gives to you.


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12-15-2015, 05:47 AM
As long as you are walking on the straight path, you are safe. Allah has a plan for you, no matter what occurs it will be. Inshaallah. See what they have done let yourself feel it, and then pit yourself in their shoes, what may they admire about you? Or see that they are lacking some aspect that you have? We are all created by Allah and we shall stand by our own actions. What is written for one individual may not for another, and inshallah in the end we end up in one of two places. I wish you the best, and Allah knows what we do not. Salaam alaiykum brother

12-15-2015, 07:11 AM
I just feel that I was at par with them or maybe a little better off so to speak, but lost my way and wasn't able to make the decisions that needed to be taken Cuz of fear and bad parenting predominantly. I feel really sad about what I could've had and now where I am, I feel very lost and insecure while others are climbing the mountains of success achieving fame and fortune while I am still at square one , even though I'm really trying hard to not dwell on the past and am moving forward but it really really hurts!

eesa the kiwi
12-15-2015, 08:17 AM
hows your deen?

bro this world isnt worth the wing of a mosquito to allah, you will only get what was written for you

sort your deen out so inshaallah in the aakhirat you will be high in rank and dont worry too much about this lowly dunya

12-15-2015, 06:01 PM
Thank you essa the kiwi and brothers for your advice , I like what u said brother essa about this lowly dunya God Bless

12-15-2015, 06:57 PM

Depends on what you deem to be successful and bear in mind we are using our limited knowledge and limited brain and eyes.

Not all is as it seems.

A family who have been trying to have children for x amount of years may view the one who has children as successful.

A mother who was not able to raise her kids (for whatever reason) may view a mother who has raised her kids as successful.

If you are referring to materialistic success please remind yourself that we are all given different things and tested in different ways.

The thing that you want the most may take you to hell-fire (audubillah) and maybe this is why Allah swt has held back what you want or deem to be successful.

I haven't listetend to this lecture yet but you may find it interesting in sha Allah;

It's called;

I7 Habits of Truly Successful People

Please visit http://kalamullah.com/bilalphilips.html

Motivational speakers have traditionally focused in their speeches on strategies and guidelines to achieve success in this world. While these strategies may help produce some limited benefits in this life, they fail to consider the life to come.

As Allah, The Most High said “Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children – like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow, then it becomes [scattered] debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the life of this world, but a deceptive enjoyment?”

In this audio presentation, Dr. Abu Ammenah Bilal Phillips discusses the true meaning of success and seven of the habits possessed by truly successful people – those who, through revelation, were promised Paradise. 7 Habits of Truly Successful People is not only an inspiring and soul energizing program, but a strong reminder and a road map to Islamic excellence.

12-15-2015, 07:57 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

First of all, you have to remember rizq (provision) is from Allah, so you should always pray and make dua, and afterwards put your trust in Him and be content with the results. If you cannot be content with what you already have and are always looking at what others have, then no matter what you receive you will never be happy.

That being said, you also need to get out of your comfort zone more often. You can't be afraid of failure. And one person's success, does not mean that same success will bring you happiness...you have to find what you want to do and do it. The fact that you're feeling this way should drive you not limit you, but you have to look straight ahead, and not compare yourself to others. I'm sure there are many who wish to be in your place.

12-15-2015, 09:06 PM
Wa alaykum as-salam,

I find it is best not to compare myself with others, because each person has different abilities and circumstances. Set goals, renew your intentions, read books, work towards being the best version of yourself, and trust that Allah will reward the hard-working. Do not care to impress people, strive to commit your work to seeking Allah swt pleasure for no human can benefit nor harm you. No living person is a failure as we do still have the ability to achieve great things.

Do not even set your eyes on what other people have. Allah tests each person in what He has given them to see how the thankful thanks and how the patient endures. Power was given to Pharao, Knowledge to Qarun, and it was their destruction, whereas Sulaiman (as) saw the source of his blessings. As the righteous man said, having less things that make you happy means less things to grieve for (less things to lose).

Most importantly, be responsible and take responsibility of yourself. If you do not appreciate and recognize what you now have, you might greed for more even if you achieved more. The content person would see good in every situation, the unsatisfied a fault in every situation.

12-16-2015, 01:00 AM
Believe me, such achievements always look a lot more significant when others have them. They don't seem so remarkable any more after you have achieved them. I know, I've been there, done that. I have envied my brother-in-law for the position he has been able to obtain. I have found out, though, that the feeling is mutual. Make what you will of that.

12-16-2015, 04:39 PM
Thanks so much all brothers who gave their opinion , really appreciate your views May Allah Bless you all!
Yes charisma I am trying to do that pls pray for me that it turns out to be great !
Futuwwa very true , once you achieve something you really want it turns out to be ordinary and unfulfilling soon, the grass is always greener on the other side!

12-16-2015, 06:24 PM
I was familiar with competition. I have competed in dozens motorcycle racing competitions, also competed in BMX race and swimming. There were always competitors in every competition. But do you know bro?, the best way to compete is do not compete with anyone, but focus to do what you should do. If you tried to compete with someone, then if he had left you far, you would lost your spirit to still running because you had lost your hope to defeat him. But if you didn't compete with anyone, then no matter in which position you were, you would still running as fast as you could.

Bro, the cause why you lost your spirit to move forward is because you think you have to compete with other people who indeed, have left you far. And you don't know how to defeat them. That's why you stuck on the square one while the others are climbing the mountain.

So bro, eliminate the feeling to compete with the other, eliminate the feeling that you have to be as good as the others. Focus to yourself, focus to do what you should do. In Shaa Allah, you will get a spirit to start move forward, and then running as fast as you can.

I have left sport competition since long time ago. Now I manage my own business. There are many similar business in my city, but I do not want to compete with them. I just focus to make my customers satisfied, so they will come again and promote my business to people around them. Alhamdulillah, I have enough income to fulfill my family needs and can give charity to the poor.

I am not the best in this business although am better than mostly people in this business. But I don't care with those who are better than me. I don't want to be better than the others. I just want to be the best for my customers.


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