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hisnameiszzz
02-17-2016, 07:30 PM
Is it wrong or right for a Muslim man to mingle with ladies at work? By mingle, I mean go into the kitchen, close the door and have lunch together (sitting right next to them).

There is a Muslim man at work who does this with lots of different females and people at work have openly asked me why he does this when it's prohibited in "our" religion.

How would you address this or would you just say "not sure" or "go and ask him"?

Thanks.
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Ridwaan Ravat
02-17-2016, 08:33 PM
Assalamualykum.

Hope you well.

May Allah reward you for your concern.

You are not answerable for his actions but you should set the record straight and explain the situation and view point of Islam.

Also on an informal basis try and explain to the brother what he is doing is wrong and make duaa for him delay.

Never look down upon him as we all have our faults and shortcomings.

Jazakallah khair

Request duaas
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Predator
02-17-2016, 09:00 PM
Even,If you are the only male in a team , and those women call you for lunch , tell them its is against your beliefs and that you need to protect yourself against the devil.

Such things need to be written and signed off as an agreement by your employer before you accept a job .

We must always do our best to avoid a job environment where there is free-mixing.
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hisnameiszzz
02-17-2016, 09:23 PM
No, no, no. It's nothing to do with me. People in my team and people who work in the centre ask me because they know I am a Muslim. I may not look like a Muslim (no big beard, no topi, no Islamic wear, I don't pray at work etc) but they know I generally take my religion quite seriously as in I don't eat meat that is no halal, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't party, I partake in Ramadhan, go for Taraweeh, fast etc.

In this day and age, non Muslims take a lot of interest and always seem to want to find fault with "us". The gentleman I am asking about has a big beard, wears a topi and told the employers that he would quit the job if they did not let him wear a jubbah (not sure what the fuss was because they don't expect men to run around naked, it would have been a shirt and trousers with everything covered but to each their own). But yeah, he has lunch with a different lady everyday.

I don't judge him and to be quite frank, I couldn't care less. He could have the lady sat on his lap if he wanted. I just don't understand why he does what he does when he tries to make out he is so Islamic and religious. But hey, it's between him and his God. I would not approach him because he would get offended. He is about 30 years older than me and I know he would get offended if I mentioned it.

I explained to the people that asked that they were correct and in Islam, men and women are not supposed to mingle unless obviously it's necessary. For example, I ALWAYS have to sit opposite a woman at work because all the solutions officers are men and we work with care officers who are all women. But even then, I keep my distance and what not.

Many thanks for your kind responses and your advice.
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MuslimInshallah
02-17-2016, 10:09 PM
Assalaamu alaikum ZZZ,


Mmm... (smile) I think you know that being alone with a woman you are not married to, is something that a Muslim man should avoid. (smile) You could gently mention it one day to the brother, to be sure he knows (superficialities of beard and clothes, etc does not mean that he is knowledgeable). And then you should drop it, I think; he is responsible for his own life.

(twinkle) As you are of yours. (mildly) Halal meat is nice... but prayer is even better, don't you think? (smile) I think, you know, that if you were to quietly pray at work (it would only be 1 or 2 prayers a day, I suspect), that this would speak more loudly to those around you of how much God is important to you, than any clothes or food. (smile) Furthermore, it would be beneficial to you, not only spiritually, but also physically and psychologically. You are under a lot of stress in your life (as per your other threads) and prayer has been shown in scientific studies to be of material benefit to your health.

(twinkle) What do you think?


May Allah, the Forgiving, Help us to be gentle with one another.
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hisnameiszzz
02-17-2016, 10:22 PM
Originally Posted by MuslimInshallah
(twinkle) As you are of yours. (mildly) Halal meat is nice... but prayer is even better, don't you think?
Hello.

Absolutely agree with you on the above but I can't pray at work. I am on duty so I have to be available all the time. So for instance if an emergency case comes in, I am the mojo solutions officer available. I have to be there. I can't do my own thing.

Also I wouldn't be sure my clothes would be clean. I prefer to pray when I have my Islamic outfit on which I know is clean. Sorry I am very meticulous about cleanliness. I share my desk with someone who has a cattery at home. His clothes are always marked and he leaves cat hair all over the keyboard and seat etc. It just makes me cringe and feel unclean. They all laugh at me when I wipe the phone and computer down before I sit down. Lol.

Thanks for your advice.
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Abz2000
02-17-2016, 11:36 PM
Do your best within your reasonable capability,

On the authority of Abu Sa’eed al-Khudree (ra) who said:*
I heard the Messenger of Allah (saw) say, “Whosoever of you sees an evil (haraam action), let him change it with his hand;
and if he is not able to do so, then [let him change it] with his tongue;
and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart — and that is the weakest of faith.”
[Muslim]

Those are the barebones of jihad fi sabeel Allah,
What do you in your situation sincerely think is the best option that will positively help and also absolve yourself of a share in the evil before Allah?
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hisnameiszzz
02-18-2016, 09:07 PM
Many thanks for all your responses.

I will discuss it with one of the "ladies" he mingles with because she has been supporting me quite a lot recently with the issue about the people who live next door to us. Don't worry, all our conversations have been in the office or the kitchen when other people have been there. Besides, she is old enough to be my Mom.

And when I talk to non Muslims about it, I will simply say "yes, it's prohibited but he is not every Muslim and he chooses to do what he does". I think they all seem to think because he wears the outfit, the topi and has a huge beard that he is a Muslim personified.

Thanks for all your kind help.
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~ Sabr ~
03-15-2016, 03:04 PM
Originally Posted by hisnameiszzz
How would you address this or would you just say "not sure" or "go and ask him"?

Thanks.
:salamext:

Just take him to the side and advise him :ia:
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