Sweetie, I wonder if I'm honestly the best person to give you advice, because although I do wear the hijab
, lately, I've been struggling with the hijab
. The truth is no one can decide this for you, because although this is a beautiful command of hijab
, the command, like any other command, takes courage and strength to follow. Only you know how ready you are, and no one can honestly decide this for you; only you yourself can decide if this is the right time for you to wear hijab
What I will tell you is that initially when I stared wearing the hijab
, I felt happy because I was following this beautiful command of Allah. For me, this act of wearing hijab
was observing "I love you" to Allah because this was a jihad (struggle)
for me against my own vanity and my egoistic desires. So, yes, hijab
is beautiful, but hijab
is comparable to a "rose" and like with any rose there are "thorns" too.
So, I'll now mention the flip side, the "thorns" if you will. I noticed a big difference in how I behaved because this is not a clothing like any other. I was conscious this is a beautiful command of Allah and I'm now, whether I want or not, a representative of Islam to whomever I happen to interact. What that meant is that it forced me to slow myself down further, to beautify my manners and character further. I started making duas
that if I make a mistake that people not be driven away from Islam as a result of my own mistakes and faults, because I was scared I might inadvertently do/say something that might give people the wrong impression of Islam. So, I think that's a good side, but honestly, not easy.
Though later, I did get less conscious so that I didn't even notice the hijab
, the fact that Muslims and Islam is so much in the media, I have to tell you that I'm struggling so much now because I know that Muslims and Islam have a bad reputation in the media and among common Americans. I have not had any bad incident happen to me Alhamdhullilah (thanks, praise, and credit to God)
, and yet I am aware that there are other Muslim women who have not been as fortunate. Also, my father accepted the hijab
, and yet my mom never has; she has resigned herself to me wearing hijab
, and I only draw support from Allah SubhanAllahwaTaala
(Glorious and Exalted is God) to wear hijab
I'll also let you in on on the secret that finally gave me the strength to wearing the hijab
. This hadith (prophetic saying/tradition)
: "Whoever sought the pleasure of Allah though it was displeasing to the people then Allah becomes pleased with him, and will make the people please with him, and whoever sought the pleasure of the people though it was displeasing to Allah then Allah becomes displeased with him and will make the people displeased with him" (Ibn Hibban/ Tirmidhi.) This hadith
finally gave me the strength when I'd been praying one Shahru Ramadan
once to give me that strength to wear hijab
Also, another incident convinced me to wear the hijab
is when I'd been on a bus, this lady had been speaking badly about Islam and Muslims. I had been feeling bad inside of myself because I didn't know how to respond, and since I didn't wear the hijab
, I realized I hadn't been identified as a Muslim. I think she'd liked me as a person and yet I'd wondered what her reaction would have been if I'd been wearing the hijab
, and then I realized that I wanted to wear the hijab
because I didn't want to hide my identity as if I am ashamed because my fault (if this can be called a fault) is only in loving Islam and Prophet Muhammad :saws: (peace and blessings be upon him).
I think the woman later recognized that I was a Muslim, but that incident cast an indelible impression on my mind, and I knew that I wanted to take a stand somehow.
My mom had threatened, from what I remember, that she'd stop talking to me if I ever wore the hijab
. I am actually very close to my mom; so, I was seriously afraid of my mom's reaction the first time I'd officially worn the hijab
(though I'd started practicing with hoodies before doing so). So, I was fully prepared for my mom to be angry and refuse to talk to me, but instead, lol
, she simply made a face. I was surprised, because honestly, I thought I'd have more of a reaction.
That said, my mom has calmed down since the beginning when I'd first expressed this desire, though sometimes she does cajole me against wearing the hijab
, and I've learned to crack a joke or change the subject. I've also learned to be assertive about my hijab
and had a conversation (for which I prayed to God would go well before I'd had the conversation) with her about why wearing the hijab
is important to me, and I think she understands even if she still dislikes generally hijab
. Sometimes, she still warns me about the consequences of wearing hijab
, like not being able to get a job or someone not marrying me, and I understand all her concerns. I respect that she's coming from a place of love and concern; so, I try to address her concerns in a calm and reasoned manner.
Honestly, I think your parents will be against you wearing the hijab
too in the beginning; and that's understandable for more than one reason, especially as you live in the U.S. So, if you decide to do this, you'll have to be sure to give them extra love and assurances that you're making an informed decision, that you still love them, because your parents will fear that you're changing in some kind of alien direction, and they won't know the you
you're coming. So, you'll have to show them that you're still the you that they love even and that wearing hijab
is simply a natural progression of your love and obedience to God.
All that said, please do not feel pressured to wear the hijab
; nobody can tell you what the right time to wear hijab
is. Ask Allah SWT to guide you in this matter and also for your parents to support you in wearing the hijab
and trust that Allah SWT loves you and trust Allah SWT to give you what you need to make this decision. Also, if you feel okay about this, I can talk to your parents on SKYPE and I can discuss with them anything and happily answer any concerns they might have; I want to say, most of all, though that I support you
in any decision you make on this matter, and this decision should ultimately be simply between you and Allah and out of whatever sentiments you feel sincerely in your heart. So, the ball's in your court, sweetie.
Originally Posted by basamasmile