my friend is bullied by guys who think she can bare it...plz say something...anything

[spencer]

hello, i'm here to help out a friend, whos a muslim girl. there are four really rich cool b-boys in our class, who've been around as long as i remember and they really like and tease her. alot. but if she seems really sad because of something they stop and would pretend as if they care about her. they like getting her angry, which is not easy. even though they think it's not bullying i think it actually is, because if she had a choice she would choose not to be going through this.

they make fun of her committment to her religion, would poke her, keep staring at her for hours, mock and impersonate her, take her stuff without permission or wont let her work. they even made fake accounts on facebook of her name and would post **** about her and send requests to our teachers, but she soon studied programming and hacked all those accounts.

i know there are many other students that get bullied but its different for her because first, she is quite talented and liked, not only by those boys but everyone i've ever known at school, and she has literally never cried or talked about how depressed or frustrated she is,i dont know how she's so good at hiding her emotions, and the main reason: that the bullies dont realise this actually hurts her, i mean alot.


and i just couldn't take it anymore after this one day after school i had to go to some place with my dad and on our way i saw her sitting on a footpath by an empty road with her hands on her stomach, while it was raining, and she was crying and shouting out so loud we could hear her vioce (from like 80 metres distance while it was raining and with closed windows), as if someone's stabbing her.
i was in my car with my dad and as soon as my dad stoped she wiped her tears as if it was rain water and when we asked her what happened she said "nothing, my bicycle just slipped and i hurt myself a little" and got up as if nothing happened. my dad thought she had some mental problems bcz she didnt have a bicycle anywhere near( she usually takes the bus on rainy days). anyways we just left.

BUT then on our way back she was still there,crying ( i'm not sure but her eyes were red later so i guess she was) and then we asked her why she was still here she said nothing and averted her face. we somehow convinced her to get in and then dropped her at her home and i just saw she is not quite well financially and she has a single mom, i guess one of the main reasons why all this happens and her mother was quite abusive...she was like are you crazy? i dont have money to take you to doctors! and like speak up and smile! and start acting human u little.....!and she was just standing there saying sorry after every other line her mom said. and like nothing else...nothing to defend herself or crying or like nothing! just sorry with her head down and her brother was just watching and after a while got bored and left.....my dad tried to stop her mom but she asked us to leave.....





she's really nice and she'll all about islam islam islam and so i came here.
me and a couple of other friends have already asked for help and advice on different islamic forums and websites but people dont really understand what we're trying to say.

most of them come up with answers like if she was following the real islam, she wouldn't be going through this and that just because she says so doesn't mean she's really religious. others come up with stuff like we should consult some guidance counselar at our school or help her out as a friend in general but the thing is if she didn''t care about islam then we wouldn't be here in the first place and she's like i cant to do this and that and i have to this because...... my religion says so.however some of them gave good advice that we put to use but it made things worse.......


first i would describe her a little: she gets the best grades at school ,is quite beautiful i have to say, really kind and hilarios and a tomboy.
at the same time she's really immature and an idiot. she's like i dont understand why people fall in love? but this is one side of her, on the other side she's all about islam
she's like so committed man! like if we're on excursions and she's praying we try to distract her by making her laugh but she wont even listen as if she's hypnotised and even though she's only 14 she fasts quite often. thats quite weird because she's such a food lover she'd do anything for it!




we put some of the good advice to use and we thought things went ok but i guess we just made things worse and now on the inside
she's most probably hating us. we showed those boys how this hurts her and now they are trying to be friends with her which she doesn't want to.
she'd keep moving away trying to maintain a distance but they keep moving closer and closer.
even though those boys( all of them)admit they like her, (one even proposed and got kicked by a football in the face!) all of us think they dont. because if u think over it, why do you think some rich bad boys like a girl whose sooo religious and alot stronger physically and is alot more intelliget and is a tomboy who has kept the same dressup for the past 2 years. that is: straight jeans, loose shirts, a cap and then a hoodie on top and is so sporty and so immature.


however all the boys of our class also kind of believe in what they say( i mean they like her) because almost all of us have had crushes on her(including me) and then when we tried a little flirting and some even proposed, everything went soooo bad, we never thought of her that way again and be like i guess we're just good at being friends. i seriously dont understand how she can be so attractive even though shes....an idiot and *all that stuff i mentioned above...i really want to share some stories of her stupidity but my post is just getting too long...


so the actual problem is i dont know how do i get to open up to me, or any other friend, and let us know how she feels about it. like i understand she cant do anything because those boys are quite rich but we can help her in that.......my dads a lawyer and i already discussed this with him and he says if needed he'll help her.and so do all other parents of my other friends say so( yeah they too know....)

the thing is she's like u guys cant understand me bcz....and then islam stuff comes in between. she's such a nice person and everyone likes her, she makes everyone laugh and so no one likes seeing her get hurt...she very rarely gets serious in class and even if she does, everyone makes fun of her bcz she's even more funnier when she's serious or angry. so i guess she scared or shy to open up because of that

i really want to help her out..........please.....anyone.....she's already told me in islam you're not allowed to be friends with the opposite gender and blah blah blah so please dont tell me about that. say something..........anything

[~ Sabr ~]

Greetings Spencer,

In Islam, it is not permissible for a female to be friends with a male. There is really nothing else to be said.

[spencer]

Greetings Spencer,

In Islam, it is not permissible for a female to be friends with a male. There is really nothing else to be said.

thanks but i already mentioned i know that(obviously from her), and she keeps always keeps her distance with us. i'm sorry but i cant understand what you're trying to say. or how can she be helped with your statement? :hmm:

[~ Sabr ~]

What do you want to do? What do you want advice on? Your original post is confusing.

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[spencer]

What do you want to do? What do you want advice on? Your original post is confusing.

i want to know how to help her (according to islam)

or wait let me elaborate.....so there this really religious girl whos being bullied by really rich( i mean millionares) guys who have a crush on her, they think it annoys her, not hurt her...because she does not show it. she wont because she's scared(since their really rich) and and shy because she is the kind of girl that makes the whole class laugh.

[1975]

i dont think i have an answer to your question but i guess you're here for the same girl ms.scarlett was:o...........you guys seem really concerned :hmm:.......i pray ALLAH helps that girl. i think you should talk to her. ask her how she really feels about it. and then take any further steps.

[Umm Malik]

i want to know how to help her (according to islam)

or wait let me elaborate.....so there this really religious girl whos being bullied by really rich( i mean millionares) guys who have a crush on her, they think it annoys her, not hurt her...because she does not show it. she wont because she's scared(since their really rich) and and shy because she is the kind of girl that makes the whole class laugh.

thanks for your intention may Allah reward u the best reward
the best thing you can do is to accept her religion and to keep like this and to don't do as they do
and i am sure god will reward you the best reward for your intention

[spencer]

wow:o! she was here too:o? can you tell me what the title of her post is?

[1975]

it is "i want islam advice for helping a muslim friend" i want to give you the link but i cant add links until i'm a full member.

[1975]

thanks for your intention may Allah reward u the best reward
the best thing you can do is to accept her religion and to keep like this and to don't do as they do
and i am sure god will reward you the best reward for your intention

i sure will do that. but any suggestions on how do i help her out of this situation?

[1975]

i sure will do that. but any suggestions on how do i help her out of this situation?

.

sorry i iust got too much into this situation as if i'm her dad or something.
i meant * i sure will do that TOO. but any suggestions on how do WE help her out of this situation?

[MuslimLawyer]

Bullying is a criminal offence in most countries.

Harassment is an alternative.

Tell the girl to report it to the police immediately, and also the establishment she is based in.

~ML~

[spencer]

i sure will do that. but any suggestions on how do i help her out of this situation?

excuse my language but what the hell was that man?

[Scimitar]

Where is this happening?

[spencer]

Where is this happening?

you mean which country? or city? or like at school or some place?
i'm going to answer both: its in the uk, england, a small town near cambridge( sorry i cant be anymore specific) and at our highschool.

[MuslimLawyer]

you mean which country? or city? or like at school or some place?
i'm going to answer both: its in the uk, england, a small town near cambridge( sorry i cant be anymore specific) and at our highschool.

report it to your teachers and the police immediately

~ML~

[spencer]

report it to your teachers and the police immediately

~ML~

without asking her?

[spencer]

report it to your teachers and the police immediately

~ML~

can i do that without her permission? and how can i do that if she doesn't show or admit it hurts her? how do i convince her to speak up?

[Scimitar]

Yes, if you see a crime being committed - say, a murder, will you wait til the person is dead to ask their permission to call the police? Nope...

call de police!

Scimi

[spencer]

Yes, if you see a crime being committed - say, a murder, will you wait til the person is dead to ask their permission to call the police? Nope...

call de police!

Scimi

thanks i am sooooooooo going to do that and if she starts hating me, its all on you:phew

[fakerameen]

thanks i am sooooooooo going to do that and if she starts hating me, its all on you:phew

spencer trust me if u do that i'll kill you! dont you dare to do anything like that! i've had enough of all this! how many times do i have to keep telling you guys there's nothing that could be done to help here! we'll talk in school tomorrow!

and let me clear up some stuff here: first my mom is not abusive, her reaction was reasonable. people usually tell her there's something wrong with me and that i should go see a doctor.

second, yes i admit its annoying and i really do get hurt and i cry and all that because of it but i'm not taking anti-depressions or thinking of committing suicide.and yeah its because i'm good at hiding my emotions! but the thing is i tell myself its just a phase and it'll pass....that i'm in ninth grade now and in one and a half year i'll graduate so its going to get over. i think i can bare it, even though i cant, but the thing is i already have more than enough to deal with at my home.....
and i tell myself that after after some years when while i'll be giving autographs and interviews and stuff i'll have a good and epic story to tell! not like yeah yeah i just had an ordinary childhood. thats more epic you know! and i dont know how, but i hardly think about it if i'm busy doing something else.and that everyone has problems, no one's life is perfect and maybe allah is just testing my patience and my faith so i'm not going to loose hope and fail it!
and theres so much more in my life thats so much more interesting! its not like i think over it all day man! to be honest i myself dont know how i can ignore all that....allah's miracles i guess....(thats just what i think)

and i tell myself there are kids in afghanistan who dont know if they'll live tomorrow. and kids in syria who shout out for help but no one answers and i'm here getting support without even asking for it and theres so many muslim kids who cant afford to go to school and so many who cant
afford to eat one meal in a day and so many homeless and so many in africa deprived of the new tech world and so many deprived of both mom and dad....i just cant afford to ask for help even from allah, and go through it without showing it hurts me, when i think of all that man!


and the day spencer you saw me crying.....was the day joey was back to school remember........
for those who dont know:now what actually happened was i had done a great job, so great i dont want to talk about it( i'm being sarcastic here) now this one time we were on a school excursion and this guy would walk infront of me while i was praying again and again...the teacher stopped him after a while but i was still really mad at him and then i did that "great job"
....so for the next four days that boy did not come to school, my teacher called my mom and told her even though it wasn't my fault it would be nice if she asked why he wasn't coming to school and apologise if it was because of me.

my mom did not go but instead got really mad at me for creating issues and problems and said she's not going to apologise to those people because they are sooo and then i had to go alone... i did go and said sorry before they said anything...his parents said nothing but joey said its ok and he was sorry too and then we talked about school.....it was so weird because his parents were there staring at me as if they're about to kill me...
now when he got up to get his books, his mom grabbed my arm turning me towards her, her one hand pointing towards me and she grabbed my collar with the other and said :stay away from my son and if i see you around him again you cant imagine what i'll do to you and your family...i'm
like i'm sorry i never meant to do that and she just keeps on saying stuff like my mom works at one of the schools in her property and she'll sue her and she'll put me in trail for blah blah blah.....i start crying and then his dad is like thats enough and asks me to get out and be careful next time! and i leave....
the next day at school when he was there......i wanted to cry out loud because it reminded me of the day before, its her son who wont leave me alone but even then i'm the one who's being oppressed......and as soon as i got out of school i couldn't keep it inside anymore.....so its not like i cry everyday

and the times scarlett mentioned might have been somewhat something similar. because there are many times i've had encounters with their parents that really scared the sh** out of me and i cant always keep my feelings inside, bcz i'm human. and yeah thats the reason why i dont complain....

and please.. i'm neither pretty or anything like that .....everyone only likes me bcz they copy my homework and i help them whenever needed and dont keep on reminding them of it forever! and the boys more because of basket ball!

i cant speak up even on the internet bcz people think its again for seeking attention(like my mom does)

spencer trust me if u do anything like that..........i'll have to kill either you or myself!

[spencer]

spencer trust me if u do that i'll kill you! dont you dare to do anything like that! i've had enough of all this! how many times do i have to keep telling you guys there's nothing that could be done to help here! we'll talk in school tomorrow!

and let me clear up some stuff here: first my mom is not abusive, her reaction was reasonable. people usually tell her there's something wrong with me and that i should go see a doctor.

second, yes i admit its annoying and i really do get hurt and i cry and all that because of it but i'm not taking anti-depressions or thinking of committing suicide.and yeah its because i'm good at hiding my emotions! but the thing is i tell myself its just a phase and it'll pass....that i'm in ninth grade now and in one and a half year i'll graduate so its going to get over. i think i can bare it, even though i cant, but the thing is i already have more than enough to deal with at my home.....
and i tell myself that after after some years when while i'll be giving autographs and interviews and stuff i'll have a good and epic story to tell! not like yeah yeah i just had an ordinary childhood. thats more epic you know! and i dont know how, but i hardly think about it if i'm busy doing something else.and that everyone has problems, no one's life is perfect and maybe allah is just testing my patience and my faith so i'm not going to loose hope and fail it!
and theres so much more in my life thats so much more interesting! its not like i think over it all day man! to be honest i myself dont know how i can ignore all that....allah's miracles i guess....(thats just what i think)

and i tell myself there are kids in afghanistan who dont know if they'll live tomorrow. and kids in syria who shout out for help but no one answers and i'm here getting support without even asking for it and theres so many muslim kids who cant afford to go to school and so many who cant
afford to eat one meal in a day and so many homeless and so many in africa deprived of the new tech world and so many deprived of both mom and dad....i just cant afford to ask for help even from allah, and go through it without showing it hurts me, when i think of all that man!


and the day spencer you saw me crying.....was the day joey was back to school remember........
for those who dont know:now what actually happened was i had done a great job, so great i dont want to talk about it( i'm being sarcastic here) now this one time we were on a school excursion and this guy would walk infront of me while i was praying again and again...the teacher stopped him after a while but i was still really mad at him and then i did that "great job"
....so for the next four days that boy did not come to school, my teacher called my mom and told her even though it wasn't my fault it would be nice if she asked why he wasn't coming to school and apologise if it was because of me.

my mom did not go but instead got really mad at me for creating issues and problems and said she's not going to apologise to those people because they are sooo and then i had to go alone... i did go and said sorry before they said anything...his parents said nothing but joey said its ok and he was sorry too and then we talked about school.....it was so weird because his parents were there staring at me as if they're about to kill me...
now when he got up to get his books, his mom grabbed my arm turning me towards her, her one hand pointing towards me and she grabbed my collar with the other and said :stay away from my son and if i see you around him again you cant imagine what i'll do to you and your family...i'm
like i'm sorry i never meant to do that and she just keeps on saying stuff like my mom works at one of the schools in her property and she'll sue her and she'll put me in trail for blah blah blah.....i start crying and then his dad is like thats enough and asks me to get out and be careful next time! and i leave....
the next day at school when he was there......i wanted to cry out loud because it reminded me of the day before, its her son who wont leave me alone but even then i'm the one who's being oppressed......and as soon as i got out of school i couldn't keep it inside anymore.....so its not like i cry everyday

and the times scarlett mentioned might have been somewhat something similar. because there are many times i've had encounters with their parents that really scared the sh** out of me and i cant always keep my feelings inside, bcz i'm human. and yeah thats the reason why i dont complain....

and please.. i'm neither pretty or anything like that .....everyone only likes me bcz they copy my homework and i help them whenever needed and dont keep on reminding them of it forever! and the boys more because of basket ball!

i cant speak up even on the internet bcz people think its again for seeking attention(like my mom does)

spencer trust me if u do anything like that..........i'll have to kill either you or myself!

and now what do i do?

[crookedrib]

and now what do i do?

Just give her some space. Can't you see she's really upset right now?

[sister herb]

and now what do i do?

Seems you better leave this matter as obviously it´s not your business at all.