Please Say A Dua For Me - Please Please Please

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams all,

Hope everyone is OK.

The regulars will know how much I am troubled by my evil neighbours. This weekend has been awful. They have had yet another ventilator fan put in the basement so it's non stop humming sounds on whichever floor I am on in the house and it really is cracking me up. I was contemplating throwing myself out of my bedroom window the other day.

Anyway, I was coming home from work the other day and saw a notice on someone's house saying it was up for sale. I've just been for a viewing and I think I fell in live with the house. It's not hard to do when the place you are currently living in is like hell with the constant noise and harassment which may I add, they do on purpose.

It seems like a really nice house and the price, though quite high, is something that is possibly affordable. I am going to book another viewing and then put an offer in.

Please can I request that you all say some extra special duas for me. I really want for this to work out so I can actually start living like a normal person again.

I know a lot you have said Allah will help in due time. I won't lie, I did lose hope and faith numerous times. There were times when I got really angry with Allah for not helping me but it seems like he has finally come through for me. If this works out, I will go to Jamaat for 40 days! That'a s promise.

Please please please pray for me and please pray this works out.

I'm kind of nervous and excited at the same time I could wet myself! :statisfie

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:


may Allah makes life easy for u and grants what is best for this life and hereafter .

[azc]

May Allah swt make it easy for you. Ameen

[sister herb]

May Allah make things easy to you. Good luck.

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[BeTheChange]

Walaikumasalaam,

That's fantastic news.

Am glad you are looking around and trying to resolve the situation in a healthy manner.

May Allah swt provide you with what is good for you Ameen.

Let us know how you get on in sha Allah.

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams all.

Mom has started playing "games" again saying she doesn't want to move blah blah blah. I can't afford it on my own, so it's back to square one I guess.

I told her if she carries on like this, I will slit my wrists and it will be her fault. Now she is not talking to me.

Why me? What have I done to deserve animal like neighbours and a Mom who acts like a schoolkid? Honestly, it's at times like this I wish I had the guts to just kill myself.

I'm so depressed again. Are you sure I can't play the lottery or rob someone so I have enough money to buy this house?

[Scimitar]

Salaams all,
They have had yet another ventilator fan put in the basement so it's non stop humming sounds on whichever floor I am on in the house and it really is cracking me up.

A ventilator fan, in the basement? In the North of England?.... sounds like they be growing cannabis mate, especially with that tell tale clue of constant humming.

[hisnameiszzz]

A ventilator fan, in the basement? In the North of England?.... sounds like they be growing cannabis mate, especially with that tell tale clue of constant humming.

I am currently sat in the front room. Their front room is adjacent to ours. Basements are below. They had their basement done up into a bathroom 2 Easters ago (oh I remember the non stop drilling all day, everyday). I can hear the loud humming clearly.

I just walked into the kitchen and I can't hear it there, so it is definitely in the basement which is below the front room.

I couldn't care less what they are growing and doing, I just wish Allah would do something about them and soon.

[~Zaria~]

Salaams all.

Mom has started playing "games" again saying she doesn't want to move blah blah blah. I can't afford it on my own, so it's back to square one I guess.

I told her if she carries on like this, I will slit my wrists and it will be her fault. Now she is not talking to me.

Why me? What have I done to deserve animal like neighbours and a Mom who acts like a schoolkid? Honestly, it's at times like this I wish I had the guts to just kill myself.

I'm so depressed again. Are you sure I can't play the lottery or rob someone so I have enough money to buy this house?

Assalamu-alaikum brother,


Is it perhaps possible that you may be more sensitive to noise than the rest of your family ?

(It would seem reasonable that your mum and family members would be just as desperate to leave, considering the severity of the problem.)

[hisnameiszzz]

Assalamu-alaikum brother,


Is it perhaps possible that you may be more sensitive to noise than the rest of your family ?

(It would seem reasonable that your mum and family members would be just as desperate to leave, considering the severity of the problem.)

I absolutely agree. Some people freak out when they have to have an injection and others don't. Some people eat one chilli and almost burn up and others don't. We are all different. Allah made me this way for some reason (to suffer more by the looks of it!)

Oh she does want to move. But she is just scared. She has lived here all her life with her husband. He died a few years ago. She can't move on. She still has his pillows ready in bed in case he comes back. Crazy I know but I am not married and don't understand such things.

The house is too big for her too. Her husband had the house extended every way possible and she struggles to get from one room to another. At night time, it takes her forever to go upstairs. So in a way, by downsizing I am doing her a massive favour but the excuses keep coming. What if? But what about?

Also, her Dad was and Aalim so he may have instilled some things into her when she was younger. My Dad was a waste of space and did no such thing.

You must all forgive me for being OTT and dramatic, but when you have non stop noise day in day out, it takes over your life. At this moment in time, I dread coming back home from work and I don't even like work to be honest. I am tired of non stop panic attacks too. In fact, each day is just harrowing to live.

Currently, the ventilator fan is humming away in the upstairs bathrooms, the downstairs bathroom and some stupid idiot thinks it's fun to open and slam doors continuously at almost 10pm on a Monday night when people have work to go to tomorrow!

[MidnightRose]

I absolutely agree. Some people freak out when they have to have an injection and others don't. Some people eat one chilli and almost burn up and others don't. We are all different. Allah made me this way for some reason (to suffer more by the looks of it!)

Oh she does want to move. But she is just scared. She has lived here all her life with her husband. He died a few years ago. She can't move on. She still has his pillows ready in bed in case he comes back. Crazy I know but I am not married and don't understand such things.

Also, her Dad was and Aalim so he may have instilled some things into her when she was younger. My Dad was a waste of space and did no such thing.

You must all forgive me for being OTT and dramatic, but when you have non stop noise day in day out, it takes over your life. At this moment in time, I dread coming back home from work and I don't even like work to be honest. I am tired of non stop panic attacks too. In fact, each day is just harrowing to live.

:sl:

Go for that 40-days Jamaat you mentioned above. Get away for a while. :ia: it'll give you a break and some time to strictly focus on Allah.

[~Zaria~]

I absolutely agree. Some people freak out when they have to have an injection and others don't. Some people eat one chilli and almost burn up and others don't. We are all different. Allah made me this way for some reason (to suffer more by the looks of it!)

Oh she does want to move. But she is just scared. She has lived here all her life with her husband. He died a few years ago. She can't move on. She still has his pillows ready in bed in case he comes back. Crazy I know but I am not married and don't understand such things.

Also, her Dad was and Aalim so he may have instilled some things into her when she was younger. My Dad was a waste of space and did no such thing.

You must all forgive me for being OTT and dramatic, but when you have non stop noise day in day out, it takes over your life. At this moment in time, I dread coming back home from work and I don't even like work to be honest. I am tired of non stop panic attacks too. In fact, each day is just harrowing to live.

It may be worthwhile consulting with a psychiatrist.

The 'non stop panic attacks' and significant disruption to daily living - suggests that perhaps there may be benefit in seeking a medical opinion.

***

Nabi :saws: said (translation):

Don’t speak ill of the dead for indeed they reached what they have put forth.”
(Bukhari p 131 vol.2 باب ينهى من سب الاموات Darul Fikr)

[hisnameiszzz]

It may be worthwhile consulting with a psychiatrist.

The 'non stop panic attacks' and significant disruption to daily living - suggests that perhaps there may be benefit in seeking a medical opinion.

***

Nabi :saws: said (translation):

Don’t speak ill of the dead for indeed they reached what they have put forth.”
(Bukhari p 131 vol.2 باب ينهى من سب الاموات Darul Fikr)

Salaams,

I have been to a GP about this. They gave me sleeping tablets which I took but I was so wound up, it made no difference. They won't give me anymore, so I now get a friend to buy me some from abroad (you can buy them over the counter in Tenerife).

They also suggested moving out, but I can't afford it unless I come into a lot of money.

Apologies about speaking about the dead like that. I won't do it again.

Please keep praying for me. Thanks.

[noraina]

May Allah make it easy for you. Please keep up updated.

[~ Sabr ~]

:wasalamex

May Allaah grant you the best in this world and the Aakhirah, Ameen

[Umm Abed]

Salaams all.

Mom has started playing "games" again saying she doesn't want to move blah blah blah. I can't afford it on my own, so it's back to square one I guess.

I told her if she carries on like this, I will slit my wrists and it will be her fault. Now she is not talking to me.

Why me? What have I done to deserve animal like neighbours and a Mom who acts like a schoolkid? Honestly, it's at times like this I wish I had the guts to just kill myself.

I'm so depressed again. Are you sure I can't play the lottery or rob someone so I have enough money to buy this house?

Wassalam brother, so sorry to hear about your predicament. How does your mother manage through the noise? That I cannot understand! For once I think you should make a move, instead of threats and frustrations, do consider getting the house you'r looking into.

There is really no reason to put up with this terrible noise. Convince your mother to move, or she can move later on if she wishes. There is nothing wrong in you wanting to move for some peace and quiet.

How does she respond to the fact that you'r are deeply disturbed by all this noise?

[Serinity]

As salamu alaikum,

go to the neighbour and tell them to turn off the ventilator as it causes too much noise. If it continues, call the police or some other authority. This can't be legal. I mean, do you think having high blown up music (an example) in the middle of the night from 8 PM to 7 AM is every single day not going to attract negative attention and in the end get me out of the house via. Police?

Get the police or some other authority, there has to be someone with common sense to know that this should be dealt with accordingly. Sorry for sounding harsh, but for harsh neighhbours, there are harsh measures.

May Allah easen you the pain. Ameen. I recommend you to go to Jammat for 40 days, for peace of mind.
And Allah knows best.

[hisnameiszzz]

Wassalam brother, so sorry to hear about your predicament. How does your mother manage through the noise? That I cannot understand! For once I think you should make a move, instead of threats and frustrations, do consider getting the house you'r looking into.

There is really no reason to put up with this terrible noise. Convince your mother to move, or she can move later on if she wishes. There is nothing wrong in you wanting to move for some peace and quiet.

How does she respond to the fact that you'r are deeply disturbed by all this noise?

Thanks so much for your concern. My Mother has always been very patient. She was married to my Dad from a young age and was always obedient to him. I have been told off for saying bad things about dead people but let's just put it this way, he was not a good husband to her and he was very much of a bully, but she remained good to him and looked after him when he was very poorly and then died. My Mother is suffering quite badly. You just need to look at her. She is pale, withdrawn, jumpy, she has aged a lot over the last year or two. She is always nodding off during the day so I KNOW she is not sleeping at night. Maybe she just likes being a victim, I don't know? Her Dad was quite a big Aalim and maybe he taught her things about patience and what not when she was younger? I don't know.

I simply can't force my Mother to move. I KNOW she does not like it here but at the end of the day, it's her house, she is elderly and not too well and I don't want to force her to make a decision which will make her feel even worse than she is. She knows this house and the people in this street and her sister lives in the street opposite us so in a way, I understand it's not fair for her to be forced out like this. I've tried discussing life would be better in a smaller house that had nicer neighbours, but she keeps shutting off or just ignores me for days on end.

I don't tell her everything about how much I suffer. It's not fair. She has more than enough worries as it is (disabled daughter, son awaiting an operation), I don't want her to worry even more about me. I do tell her I don't sleep too well and I think the others in the family know as I don't hide my sleeping pills, they are there for everyone to see. I try and put on a brave face because if everyone is weak and suffering, it will really make her worry more. She doesn't have many people to talk to. When my Dad was alive, he broke relations with my Mother's brothers so they no longer come over, too much bad blood between them. Plus she is housebound so it's not like she actually goes out and talks to people.

As salamu alaikum,

go to the neighbour and tell them to turn off the ventilator as it causes too much noise. If it continues, call the police or some other authority. This can't be legal. I mean, do you think having high blown up music (an example) in the middle of the night from 8 PM to 7 AM is every single day not going to attract negative attention and in the end get me out of the house via. Police?

Get the police or some other authority, there has to be someone with common sense to know that this should be dealt with accordingly. Sorry for sounding harsh, but for harsh neighhbours, there are harsh measures.

May Allah easen you the pain. Ameen. I recommend you to go to Jammat for 40 days, for peace of mind.
And Allah knows best.

We have spoken to them about the ventilator fan and they said it's their house and they can do what they want. From past experience, we know if we say anything to them, they will retaliate and make it ten times worse than before.

You may want to have a look at this forum. http://www.noisyneighbours.net/forum...r-experiences/

There are heaps of people in the UK and overseas that suffer from noisy neighbours (NN) and the Police / Council will not do a thing about it. Loud parties/music/drug taking, the Council and Police are not bothered and won't help! Bear in mind, I work for the Council and have spoken to them about the noise and they more or less told me to "get a grip". They told me slamming doors all day every day is normal household noise and hoovering at midnight is also OK. Well from a Council's view that's fine, but from a Muslim perspective harming or troubling one's neighbours is NOT on. I've read heaps of hadeeths authenticating that. I do wonder why Allah does not punish them unless I have misunderstood the hadeeths and they are saying it's good to be nasty and evil to neighbours and trouble them. Can someone clarify please?


*****

Just a quick update.

My nephews stayed over the night before last. They wanted to stay and I did everything to convince them not to stay because of the noise. But they did. They didn't sleep until after 1am because of the noise. Each time a door was slammed they were petrified and started crying. When the ventilator fan went on in the morning at about 6am, it was really loud and scared the little nephew so much he wet himself in bed. Poor kid. I might be evil and might listen to music etc and am therefore suffering but why these innocent little children also?

This morning the ventilator fan went on again and I ended up throwing up in bed! Not good is it? I'm absolutely filled with worry and dread again. I wonder what they get out of tormenting us? As I type this, I can hear the stupid man from next door praying the Qura'an. I wonder why he bothers. He goes out of his way to make our life hell and then prays the Qura'an. Stupid stupid man!


In a final last ditch effort, I emailed my local Imam and he has responded saying how he is disgusted that I am still suffering. He too has suggested praying and making dua (I genuinely don't know if I have the energy for doing that anymore), moving (haha, haha) or he has suggested I meet with him just to have a chat because I mentioned to him my Imaan is really weak and I have been contemplating suicide for quite some time now.

Sorry guys for moaning and complaining yet again. I am just feeling so very low and could easily just do something very stupid. I wish Allah would listen to me and help me and I have been patient for so very long.

[Umm Abed]

Thanks for your detailed post. Its not easy at all going through so much mental havoc in your life everyday. Your mother is a good person, and Im sure you are overlooking all her faults whatever they may be. Its the best thing you can do for her and yourself.

What a stuck situation you find yourself in. How about yourself moving into a new place and maybe gradually your mother will move in with you? Even if it means just to get some sleep at another place everyday? I feel in that way it will keep your sanity and make difficult situations more bearable on you.

The council not helping is a gross misdemeanour. How are people suppose to have some peace and quiet? It doesnt seem possible.

May Allah make it easy for you.

[hisnameiszzz]

Thanks for your detailed post. Its not easy at all going through so much mental havoc in your life everyday. Your mother is a good person, and Im sure you are overlooking all her faults whatever they may be. Its the best thing you can do for her and yourself.

What a stuck situation you find yourself in. How about yourself moving into a new place and maybe gradually your mother will move in with you? Even if it means just to get some sleep at another place everyday? I feel in that way it will keep your sanity and make difficult situations more bearable on you.

The council not helping is a gross misdemeanour. How are people suppose to have some peace and quiet? It doesnt seem possible.

May Allah make it easy for you.

Thanks for your response and for taking time to reply to me again. I appreciate it.

And thanks to all the others as well. I know I am looking for an answer which I will probably never find, and I am mainly ranting on here but I really appreciate that you all make time and effort for me. I think it's the only thing keeping me going at the moment.

The thing is, the house I have seen I will not be able to afford. I only work part time. I went part time when my Dad became ill and I had to look after him and do the hospital rounds. Mother is not too well now so I can only work part time. So this house I have seen, I can put a fair chunk into it, but the rest would be a mortgage and because I work part time, I simply cannot afford it. A few friends and family have said they will help, but it's not the amount of money I need. The banks etc only let you borrow 3 to 4 times what you earn and it simply would not be enough.

If my Mother agreed to move, thereby selling this house, it would be affordable. It would be my house, she would put some of the money from the sale of this house to help me buy it and I would pay my Mother each and every last penny back, but she just keep freezing when I ask her to move. I can't keep forcing the issue on her or discussing it with her because that might end up affecting her also and I just don't want to see her unhappy. As a son, I just want her to be happy and not be scared out of her skin each time the people next door want to slam a door / put that dreaded fan on / run up and down stairs / start doing DIY. The house I have seen is in between 2 elderly people's houses, 1 my Mother knows and gets on with and the other 2 are OK also. If she moved there with me, I would be OK going to work full time even as I would know she would be OK there.

Please keep praying for me that this happens and I can finally move out. I'm sat in tears now because this could actually happen and I am so close. Allah please help me.

[BeTheChange]

Brother this has been an ongoing problem for you.

Have you sat your mum down gently and spoke to her about this? How it affects you? Or will the chat have too much of a negative impact on her?

I am sorry to hear you are still going through this.

May Allah swt remove your stress and worries Ameen.

[Umm Abed]

You'r welcome, and do post and say whats on your mind, brother, it makes a difference.

Please dont feel so broken because you'r staying there all because of your mother, and that effort will never go to waste. You will see it, eventually, just keep on taking her duas.

Ok so there is some solution if only your mother was prepared to move out. I pray she does change her mind soon and move out with you so you can sell this house and buy one in the right place.

I will continue to pray and make dua for you that you find a way out soon.

[hisnameiszzz]

Have you sat your mum down gently and spoke to her about this? How it affects you? Or will the chat have too much of a negative impact on her?

Thanks so much for your time and response.

Haha, I try and do that every other day or when the noise gets too bad, but she makes out she hasn't heard me or completely changes the subject which just means she is not interested in that conversation. Or worst of all, she just ignores me for a few days afterwards which is just awkward.

Everyone at home knows I struggle to sleep because of the noise. They all know who sleeps in the room next to mine and they all know how much noise she makes. They have all seen the dramatic weight increase in me. I can't sleep at night so I drink bottle after bottle of pop. I know it's the wrong thing to do but there is nothing else I can do when I feel so down. I cry. I pray. I cry some more and then I feel even worse.

People at work know how much I struggle and they say come and stay at mine if you want. I would do but it's wrong to impose on someone like that and it would be awkward being a guest at someone's house but not knowing how long I would be there for.

You'r welcome, and do post and say whats on your mind, brother, it makes a difference.

Please dont feel so broken because you'r staying there all because of your mother, and that effort will never go to waste. You will see it, eventually, just keep on taking her duas.

Ok so there is some solution if only your mother was prepared to move out. I pray she does change her mind soon and move out with you so you can sell this house and buy one in the right place.

I will continue to pray and make dua for you that you find a way out soon.

Thanks again for posting. I appreciate it.

You see if I lived on my own and they were bothering me like this, I would just give it back to them at 3am. For example, start hammering on the wall that joins our house to theirs, put loud music on, start hoovering, invite everyone from work and have loud parties when I know they are going to work the next morning, have a ventilator fan fitted right up onto their wall and switch it on throughout the night. But I have my Mother in this house and she is totally against retaliating and causing further problems. She says "just because they act like janglees does not mean we have to be the same".

My health is suffering but I am not overly bothered about that. It's my Mother I really worry about. She is a kind and lovely woman. She goes out of her way to be a nice person. She even stops me from hoovering the house when the people next door are sleeping even though they cause us this much harm. She refuses to slam cupboard doors (only thing in our house that is adjoining their partition wall). Basically, she is just too good to be true but she still ends up suffering endlessly. I just want her to have a nice life and be able to relax and not be constantly scared out of her wits.

Sometimes I wish I was like my oldest sister. She is one of the most selfish people I know, but for some unknown reason Allah made me the polar opposite of her constantly worrying about others! :hiding:

Anyway, thanks for listening to me drivel on again. It looks like your prayers are working as the noisy people have not been too noisy tonight. The night is still young mind.

Jazakallah all.

[hisnameiszzz]

Second viewing tomorrow.

Please all pray for me. All being well my Mother will be coming to view too.

I really hope this works out. I feel so poorly in this house. How the uncouth people next door can make our life hell and sleep at night is beyond me. It's all done on purpose that I know. I have counted at least 30 heavy door slams today and that dratted ventilator fan was on for approximately 3 hours in total today.

I wonder what they get out of it and I wonder why nothing awful happens to them.

[Umm Abed]

You'r welcome, thanks for your answer - it is not drivel but legitimate concerns.

Yes I know exactly what you mean - give them back what they give you - and a piece of your mind lol, but that is not an option as your mother does not approve of it and it will just stress her more.

I want to know, does all the noise affect your mother just as it affects you? And why if yes then why is she so willing to live under these circumstance? I know you said she has some relatives or friends living nearby, but still too, its worse living with all that hammering noise and them living nearby than just moving to a quiet and peaceful neighbourhood without the friends/family - and noisy neighbours!

They can hardly be called neighbours because a neighbour cares about the wellbeing of whoever is staying next to him and will never cause any incovenience, but yours are of a different sort!

Its good to know that you are not a selfish person at all and you have tolerated so much, but since it is because of your mother then that is so much worth it.

May Allah make it easy for you and recompensate you with goodness, peace and comfort - and quietness in the neighbourhood. Ameen.

[Umm Abed]

Second viewing tomorrow.

Please all pray for me. All being well my Mother will be coming to view too.

I really hope this works out. I feel so poorly in this house. How the uncouth people next door can make our life hell and sleep at night is beyond me. It's all done on purpose that I know. I have counted at least 30 heavy door slams today and that dratted ventilator fan was on for approximately 3 hours in total today.

I wonder what they get out of it and I wonder why nothing awful happens to them.

Oh no, 30 door slams, that is just very bad, wish like slamming the doors on them:hiding:.

So you've found a new house and considering it? May it work out for you and whatever is best, happens for you insha'allah.

What the neighbours are doing to you is oppression, and you must know that the oppressor will pay in this world for his wrongdoings, as there is justice by Allah swt.

Ive heard that an oppressor will get sorted out right in this world, but I do hope that they mend their ways soon hopefully so, insha'llah. May Allah guide them.

[hisnameiszzz]

I want to know, does all the noise affect your mother just as it affects you? And why if yes then why is she so willing to live under these circumstance? I know you said she has some relatives or friends living nearby, but still too, its worse living with all that hammering noise and them living nearby than just moving to a quiet and peaceful neighbourhood without the friends/family - and noisy neighbours!

They can hardly be called neighbours because a neighbour cares about the wellbeing of whoever is staying next to him and will never cause any incovenience, but yours are of a different sort!

Its good to know that you are not a selfish person at all and you have tolerated so much, but since it is because of your mother then that is so much worth it.

May Allah make it easy for you and recompensate you with goodness, peace and comfort - and quietness in the neighbourhood. Ameen.

Thanks so much for responding. I really appreciate it. It truly means a lot to me that you are listening to me and assisting me. May Allah bless you.

The noise affects my Mother. She doesn't sleep at night and keeps nodding off during the day, and gets jolted awake with the loud door slamming / ventilator fan / running around and other noise. She is a lovely woman and I don't understand why she won't just admit it is affecting her. She can say no as much as she likes but I know just from looking at her and her general well-being it is really bothering her. She has aged a lot and is now actually very frail. She can try and fool any of us by saying it does not bother us but if the noise penetrates my deep ear earphones and loud music at night, she sure as hell is listening to every last slam / running around / noise from the fan. Sorry, she may be on a lot of tablets that make her drowsy but that noise is just too loud.

We had another discussion this morning about the ventilator fan. It was on again for about an hour at 7.30am this morning and it woke me right up. It also woke my brother up who sleeps on the floor above me. He was not very happy and he was cursing the neighbours when he woke up (I don't blame him but I know it's not the right thing to do). Mother said the noise did not bother her and we shouldn't complain because it was only a bit of noise. Either she genuinely is not bothered by it or she is just too scared of confrontation. I know from past experience that if we brought it up, they would retaliate by slamming doors harder or louder or something along those lines. They have always been of the consensus that it is our house and we can do whatever we like in it. Unfortunately, the Council and the Police here would agree with them. Like I said, from a Muslim point of view it's not on. I do wonder why Allah does not strike them down. It's been years and years of abuse we have had to suffer. I''ve mentioned in my various topics each time the Imaam or a travelling Imaam from around the world has talked about the harms of troubling ones' neighbours and the punishment that will come because of it. It's made no difference to them at all.

Oh no, 30 door slams, that is just very bad, wish like slamming the doors on them:hiding:.

So you've found a new house and considering it? May it work out for you and whatever is best, happens for you insha'allah.

What the neighbours are doing to you is oppression, and you must know that the oppressor will pay in this world for his wrongdoings, as there is justice by Allah swt.

Ive heard that an oppressor will get sorted out right in this world, but I do hope that they mend their ways soon hopefully so, insha'llah. May Allah guide them.

The door slamming is the least of my worries now. It's the dratted ventilator fan that sounds like an earthquake is happening which is annoying me so much now. It's annoying my brother too, so I know I am not going crazy. It's not just me that is suffering. It's the whole family, including Mother, even though she says it's all fine and nothing is bothering her. It was on at 1am this morning and then again at 7.30am. It's been on more or less all day.

Part of me wants to go to their other neighbours house and ask if it is annoying them but I know they probably won't say a thing. They had a huge altercation a few weeks ago when my neighbours crashed their car into their other neighbours. It was my neighbours fault but they blamed the other party (as usual, they do no wrong).

We've just been for the second viewing. I dragged Mother along too. She likes it. They are selling for £110K but want to leave all their furniture. I have no need for the furniture. Would an offer of £90K be too rude? I mean it's a starting point and if they say no, I could always go a bit higher yes? Mother is saying don't offer too much but to be honest, I just want to move. I know if the seller wants the full price, I won't be able to afford it, but I am more than happy to cut out a lung and a kidney to finance it. I HAVE TO MOVE!

I so hope you are right about the oppressor. They need sorting out. I don't mean it in a nasty way. When we were little, I used to play with their kids and we used to be best friends but then they grew up and became bad and started harassing us. I don't know what they get out of it, but they do know how weak the sound proofing is between the houses. Whenever they have had ventilator fans fitted (bathroom upstairs and basement bathroom) they have been right on the edge of our wall, so all the noise comes here. Why would anyone do that? Our ventilator fan in the bathroom is next to one of our bedrooms. We could have had it fitted right up against our other neighbours wall, but why would we want to harass them and wake them up each time we used the bathroom? It's a no brainer and affecting someone like that is just wrong, regardless of what religion you follow. I don't know why they carry on with this torment. They know how ill my Mother is but it's like they have no concern for her health at all.

Anyway, thanks so much for listening to me go on and on again. I appreciate it. You don't know how comforting it is to know that there is someone out there who will listen to me and assist me. It means such a lot to me.

[hisnameiszzz]

Also, don't you think it's really unfair that we are being forced out of our home?

Yeah. I know there are many other people in the world who are suffering much worse than me but that does not mean we are not suffering too.

[M.I.A.]

There is a chapter in the Quran titled the exile..

Maybe something to draw from.

[OmAbdullah]

Salaams all,

Hope everyone is OK.

The regulars will know how much I am troubled by my evil neighbours. This weekend has been awful. They have had yet another ventilator fan put in the basement so it's non stop humming sounds on whichever floor I am on in the house and it really is cracking me up. I was contemplating throwing myself out of my bedroom window the other day.

Anyway, I was coming home from work the other day and saw a notice on someone's house saying it was up for sale. I've just been for a viewing and I think I fell in live with the house. It's not hard to do when the place you are currently living in is like hell with the constant noise and harassment which may I add, they do on purpose.

It seems like a really nice house and the price, though quite high, is something that is possibly affordable. I am going to book another viewing and then put an offer in.

Please can I request that you all say some extra special duas for me. I really want for this to work out so I can actually start living like a normal person again.

I know a lot you have said Allah will help in due time. I won't lie, I did lose hope and faith numerous times. There were times when I got really angry with Allah for not helping me but it seems like he has finally come through for me. If this works out, I will go to Jamaat for 40 days! That'a s promise.

Please please please pray for me and please pray this works out.

I'm kind of nervous and excited at the same time I could wet myself!

Please start going to jamaat right now and go for the whole life. This promise of yours "going to jamaat for 40 days" is not right at all. Please remember that Allah is the Most Merciful and Kind but Allah's tests are very hard. Allah has ordered men to go to jamaat 5 times a day in his adult life. You must be obedient to Allah. If you are obedient then Allah will surely deal with those who torture you. If you are not obedient to Allah then Allah's Anger can come on you in any form. So the real treatment is to improve oneself to become a perfectly obedient Muslim.


If you intend to buy the house by taking a loan with interest from a bank, then that may become a very big problem for you. I don't know your circumstances but you know them. So be careful from a bigger trouble.


I pray for you but I think that you have to improve your relation with Allah, that will bring you comfort here and in the Hereafter, otherwise the suffering will not end, and the sufferings in the next world are much more severe.

[hisnameiszzz]

Please start going to jamaat right now and go for the whole life. This promise of yours "going to jamaat for 40 days" is not right at all. Please remember that Allah is the Most Merciful and Kind but Allah's tests are very hard. Allah has ordered men to go to jamaat 5 times a day in his adult life.

Sorry, how is that even possible?

Do you mean going to the Masjid 5 times a day? I go at least once or twice but I can't any more than that for I am tired and filled with worry and grief.

I know I am not meant to do this, but I will give you an example of the people next door. They only go to the Masjid in Ramadhan and on Eid. They don't go for the rest of the year. So why are they not troubled or oppressed like us? I at least try and make an effort, I respect my neighbours etc, yet this is what happens to me? Don't you think I would be better off being like them and then maybe the oppression will stop?

Anyway, please can everyone keep praying for me as I will be making my offer tomorrow. I hope he accepts.

[M.I.A.]

Well,

If you know what upsets you, what worries you or causes your grievances...


Then don't do it to others.

Although you would probably get your butt handed to you anyway...

Wait wut?

[Mustafa16]

May Allah make it easy for you, and help you.

[Mazpop]

Subhanallah, may Allah make it easy for u and hardship will surely becomes ease

[Umm Abed]

Also, don't you think it's really unfair that we are being forced out of our home?

Yeah. I know there are many other people in the world who are suffering much worse than me but that does not mean we are not suffering too.

You'r welcome, and thanks again for your post.

Yes definitely, it is completely wrong and unfair that you are being forced out of your home by your inconsiderate neighbours. No sane person can be normal in such circumstances. And your quality of living is very much compromised.

Your mother seems to be a very resilient person that she can bear so much. The same can be said of you because, after all, you have been living under these extremely irritating noises and everything, but that is a good quality that you and your mother have because it makes you stronger and much more tolerant to many things.

Taking so much tablets is not a good idea as you may know already, the side effects etc, but I do understand your desperation so you'r forced to take them, and even your mother has to take these tablets to reduce the anxiety.

Is switching on the ventilator something new they'r doing? It seems very loud and noisy. Maybe give it another try and speak to them, see if it helps, since you know them from a long time? Ive got this idea: why dont you call them over, have a chat to them and then bring up this problem? Maybe it will help.

It is acceptable to bid for the lowest price for the house, there is nothing wrong in it. Its about what you can afford, so do try from the starting price.

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams to you and thanks again.

Mother is very resilient. I have no idea where she gets the energy and patience from. I wish she would tell me or give me the pills to do it too. It would make life so much easier for me. Having said that, she looked really tired again this morning.

I know I should not be taking the tablets but what else is there that I can do? I’ve tried every natural remedy there is: I’ve prayed various parts of the Qura’an to help, I’ve tried herbal tea and sprays, you name it, I have done it. The noise is far too loud to sleep in hence having earphones in all night long with music playing to block out the noise. Last night I downloaded an app with sleep sounds on it but it made no difference as I was so worried and tense.

The ventilator fan is something new. They now have 2. 1 at the back of the house in one bathroom, 1 at the front of the house in the other bathroom on a different floor. The new one is a lot louder, the people who live opposite them are affected by it also. Your idea about speaking to them again is something I will take into consideration and speak to my Mother about. However, I have a feeling she will say no. If we did what you have said, they would retaliate in another way. Like now for example, Mother is the only one at home, so they will increase the door slamming 20 fold, or the other thing is the woman from next door will stand on the balcony at the back of the house and talk loudly to other people in the street moaning that we complained about them. They have done this in the past a few times. I don’t think Mother can cope with the harassment, that really winds her up.

Last night was bad. She was at home all day but decided to hoover the bedrooms after 10pm and then it was slamming wardrobe cupboards and doors for about an hour. By this time it was about almost midnight and I was so worked up I didn’t get any sleep until 3am.

I am on my lunch break at the moment and dreading going home. I hate that my life is like this. It’s like being in hell on earth.

I’m going to put the offer in on the house tomorrow. Unsurprisingly, Mother changed her mind last night and is not going to move, so that put a spanner in the works. We ended up having a huge argument and we are not speaking at the moment. I wish she was not so stubborn. This is for her own good. It would be nice if we could stay where we were, but the people next door are not going to change and Allah is not helping out either. I know this is a test and what not, but the test is becoming far too hard to bear. I am at crisis point. I’ve not even eaten my lunch because my stomach hurts so much from worry.

Thanks for listening to me again. I appreciate it.

[aroojali]

ALLAh Pak Bless U with All the Happiness. :barak:

[Umm Abed]

Wassalam brother, and thanks for your post.

Its a good trait that your mother has, that she has so much patience, and you too, seems to have inherited that from her, which is a good thing after all. The hardship that you undergo now, you will see that it will help you throughout life to make you more resilient and able to handle different situations.

Although your mother is that patient, there is no reason for her to put up with all the noise and harassment. There is just no need for all this, to put up with toxic neighbours, whose job is only to make noise with ventilators and banging doors and whatever goes with it. Dont they have any other work besides standing there and banging doors?:hiding:

I just want to suggest to you this, while going to sleep, recite 'ya Salaamu' continuously until you fall asleep, and as for the music, it will only increase the anxiety, so best is to not listen to it.

About having a talk with the neighbours, give it a last try, and if you approach them in a non-hostile manner that could help your side.

It must be so tiring not being able to rest or sleep. About the house issue, Id say dont turn it into an argument as this will lead to no where. You could just go ahead with your plans and do what you think is best. Rather not argue with your mother because she will just get angry, and you will just get more stressed out.

Also, always have a good opinion of Allah swt in all conditions.

[OmAbdullah]

Sorry, how is that even possible?

Do you mean going to the Masjid 5 times a day? I go at least once or twice but I can't any more than that for I am tired and filled with worry and grief.

I know I am not meant to do this, but I will give you an example of the people next door. They only go to the Masjid in Ramadhan and on Eid. They don't go for the rest of the year. So why are they not troubled or oppressed like us? I at least try and make an effort, I respect my neighbours etc, yet this is what happens to me? Don't you think I would be better off being like them and then maybe the oppression will stop?

Anyway, please can everyone keep praying for me as I will be making my offer tomorrow. I hope he accepts.

May Allah give you success and comfort in every lawful attempt, aameen.


May Allah give you and your Muslim neighbors strength to go to Masjid 5 times every day so that Allah is pleased with you all, aameen.

[hisnameiszzz]

Wassalam brother, and thanks for your post.

Its a good trait that your mother has, that she has so much patience, and you too, seems to have inherited that from her, which is a good thing after all. The hardship that you undergo now, you will see that it will help you throughout life to make you more resilient and able to handle different situations.

Although your mother is that patient, there is no reason for her to put up with all the noise and harassment. There is just no need for all this, to put up with toxic neighbours, whose job is only to make noise with ventilators and banging doors and whatever goes with it. Dont they have any other work besides standing there and banging doors?:hiding:

I just want to suggest to you this, while going to sleep, recite 'ya Salaamu' continuously until you fall asleep, and as for the music, it will only increase the anxiety, so best is to not listen to it.

About having a talk with the neighbours, give it a last try, and if you approach them in a non-hostile manner that could help your side.

It must be so tiring not being able to rest or sleep. About the house issue, Id say dont turn it into an argument as this will lead to no where. You could just go ahead with your plans and do what you think is best. Rather not argue with your mother because she will just get angry, and you will just get more stressed out.

Also, always have a good opinion of Allah swt in all conditions.

Salaams, and thanks for your reply.

I have not had chance to reply because I have not been too well and things were getting a bit too much for me.

The people next door do work, but I guess they are used to the noise because they are the ones making it. I have at times wondered if the fan makes noise on their side of the house too, but they have placed them in such a way that they are all on OUR side of the house. Not in the middle of their room, not on the side closest to their house, but right up on the edge of the wall which adjoins our property. I wish my Dad had complained to them right at the beginning when they put it in but either he was too chicken or wanted to be patient!

Anyway, I don't want to discuss them any further. They do my head in yet they are constantly blessed by Allah. It actually makes me wonder why I don't start imitating them and maybe then things will go right for me. Does anyone else ever feel like this? You look around and see people so happy but they rarely come to the Masjid unless it's Ramadhan, act like complete jaheels but all the things that happen to them are good? I know some of you will say "they might have everything in this life but they may have nothing in the hereafter", well at this moment in time, I can't even think to the hereafter, I just want a tiny bit of piece to get my life back on track.

The offer I put in for the house got refused. He wanted more, so I met him in the middle and I was hoping he would have said yes, but he refused and said he wants the higher amount which I absolutely cannot afford. I've asked all my family and friends and I can't borrow anymore. I don't work full time because I look after my Mother (as a son and not a carer so I don't get paid for that), and I just wouldn't be able to pay people back. The way my health is going and the way my manager has noticed my performance is deteriorating, I don't even know if I will have a job at this rate! He said he would think about it which I guess means no, but who knows.

Can I ask you all to keep praying for me? I am praying non stop by the way. You are all fabulous learned people and I have faith the one of your duas will get accepted, so please continue to pray for me. If he says yes, this could be the start of a new life for me. I have so many plans for my future and the only way they can happen is if I/we move out from there.

[Raptor]

May Allah make life easy for you.

[M.I.A.]

Ok.. Cover your walls with cushions..

buy a straight jacket..

Job done.

Or rent a property for a while.. With intent to buy a house when one comes along that you like and can afford.

...buy decibel meter, write some numbers down.

Phone council.

..phone council.. Buy decibel meter.. Squiggle some writing.

...phone council?

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum ZZZ,

MIA has a good point. And if you moved out by yourself, you wouldn't need a big place. (gently) I know you feel you should look after your mother. And it is a kind thought. But if she absolutely refuses to leave, and your health is so badly affected... getting a little place of your own seems like a necessity. (gently) If you were better rested, you could go over and help her out probably more effectively than you are doing now.

And perhaps, if you left, she might reconsider her options...


May Allah, the Self-Sufficient, Help us with our tests.

[M.I.A.]

...don't leave your mum.

Maybe you should get married instead..

Then you would be preoccupied complaining about the wife..

I'm sorry.. Do you not have any brothers or sisters?

[M.I.A.]

...don't leave your mum

Maybe you should get married instead..

Then you would be preoccupied complaining about the wife..

I'm sorry.. Do you not have any brothers or sisters?

Sorry musliminshallah..irrational response, you also have a point.. Great too many edits leads to double posts.

[lonewolf007]

May Allah SWT ease your difficulties and grant you sabr Ameen.

[hisnameiszzz]

Assalaamu alaikum ZZZ,

MIA has a good point. And if you moved out by yourself, you wouldn't need a big place. (gently) I know you feel you should look after your mother. And it is a kind thought. But if she absolutely refuses to leave, and your health is so badly affected... getting a little place of your own seems like a necessity. (gently) If you were better rested, you could go over and help her out probably more effectively than you are doing now.

And perhaps, if you left, she might reconsider her options...


May Allah, the Self-Sufficient, Help us with our tests.

Salaams Auntie MI,

You are right. I need to do things for myself. I've always helped out at home, looked after my Dad when he was taken poorly and then died and looked after my Mother and poorly siblings since I was young, but enough is enough. They can look after themselves. It's my time! Thank you for giving me the courage to emancipate myself.

The house I am interested is not 3 bedrooms as initially planned, it's 2. And instead of having Mother move in with me, she can stay here if she likes and look after herself. Time for me to be selfish. She could always contact the Council and they will let her have a carer no doubt. If she wants to remain in this house next to "these people", that's her choice, she is a grown woman and if she wants to suffer, I can't be in the way of that.

Anyway, the second offer got refused and I told him that was my best offer. However, he is still contacting me so it's only a matter of time before he folds, and if not, sod that, I will move further away so I can start living my own life. :p:p

Maybe then things might actually start happening for me. I need happiness in my life. I don't want to be like a tortured person anymore. I don't want "the people" next door to dictate my sleeping patterns. And I don't want to be running around worrying my family members. It's not doing me any good, only making me poorly.

[Umm Abed]

Salaams, and thanks for your reply.

I have not had chance to reply because I have not been too well and things were getting a bit too much for me.

The people next door do work, but I guess they are used to the noise because they are the ones making it. I have at times wondered if the fan makes noise on their side of the house too, but they have placed them in such a way that they are all on OUR side of the house. Not in the middle of their room, not on the side closest to their house, but right up on the edge of the wall which adjoins our property. I wish my Dad had complained to them right at the beginning when they put it in but either he was too chicken or wanted to be patient!

Anyway, I don't want to discuss them any further. They do my head in yet they are constantly blessed by Allah. It actually makes me wonder why I don't start imitating them and maybe then things will go right for me. Does anyone else ever feel like this? You look around and see people so happy but they rarely come to the Masjid unless it's Ramadhan, act like complete jaheels but all the things that happen to them are good? I know some of you will say "they might have everything in this life but they may have nothing in the hereafter", well at this moment in time, I can't even think to the hereafter, I just want a tiny bit of piece to get my life back on track.

The offer I put in for the house got refused. He wanted more, so I met him in the middle and I was hoping he would have said yes, but he refused and said he wants the higher amount which I absolutely cannot afford. I've asked all my family and friends and I can't borrow anymore. I don't work full time because I look after my Mother (as a son and not a carer so I don't get paid for that), and I just wouldn't be able to pay people back. The way my health is going and the way my manager has noticed my performance is deteriorating, I don't even know if I will have a job at this rate! He said he would think about it which I guess means no, but who knows.

Can I ask you all to keep praying for me? I am praying non stop by the way. You are all fabulous learned people and I have faith the one of your duas will get accepted, so please continue to pray for me. If he says yes, this could be the start of a new life for me. I have so many plans for my future and the only way they can happen is if I/we move out from there.

Wassalam and welcome again.

I hope you'r doing well.

Read your detailed post. I do understand how difficult life must be for you up till now as it has been in the past. As I mentioned before, Allah will do justice for oppression right in this world. That is for Allah swt to decide when. Right now you should focus on yourself and your plans, plans on moving, plans for a better living etc.

As someone suggested, you can move out and let your mother stay on there. Your place need not be big but just basic comfort, anywhere away from the noise. You can still look after her and I guess she will eventually move out as well.

The price they want for the house seems high and beyond your means. Try some more - you will find something that you can afford, insha'allah.

I make dua that Allah make it easy for you and you find a solution to your problem, and that you overcome all obstacles, ameen.

[hisnameiszzz]

Hi all.

Just to let you know what's going on.

I am in the process of having the survey done. Hopefully it will bring a good report with no faults and then I'll be out of here. It would be really good for me if my Mother moved too but I can't force her. Currently she is trying to have a nap but the folk next door keep slamming doors really really loudly which is making her jump each time. It's obvious she didn't sleep last night. I don't understand why she wants to carry on being the victim. It's making me very angry. But I guess her having lived with her husband for 40 plus years, she has perfected the art of being a victim. He was a very unkind man and put her through all kinds of mental abuse.

Anyway I digress. I really hope this works out. It got too much for me last week and I was ready to die so I took a handful of painkillers and sleeping tablets. Unfortunately, I didn't die and I am still here which is a shame because my life is a complete train wreck at the moment. I really hope things will get better for me. I think I have been patient long enough.

Thanks for reading.

[Umm Abed]

Salaam and thanks for updating.

Its good to see you'r doing something about it as you have to put up with so much issues, and the added issue of your mother not wanting to leave, but keep up the effort of looking for another place to stay, its worth it.

May Allah make it easy for you and make it a success, ameen.

[hisnameiszzz]

Hi all,

Thanks to everyone for their kind thoughts and UMM ABED for the reply.

The survey has now been done and I am awaiting the report. So it could be about a month and then hopefully I will be out of her.

Mother and I were sat eating the other day. Some evil person slammed the basement/kitchen door really loudly (that door is against our kitchen wall where we were eating), it made her jump and has knackered her back and can practically not walk again! I really wish that will give her the heave-ho to move but I doubt it.

It's my day off and I was rudely awoken at 7am by continued door slamming again. I really really need this move to happen and soon.

Also, I've kind of realised praying is not making any difference for me. So I am having shaky thoughts about my faith again. Why would an all loving Allah put us through this? I know I shouldn't ask this, but this question constantly enters my head on a daily basis and I don't know if it is Satan whispering or if it is actually me thinking these things! Well I understand me because I am not exactly a saint so I get the punishment/suffering, but my Mother? I'm beginning to wonder if the constant praying and begging from Him was in vain. I know everyone on IB will now start telling me again about Hadhrat Ayub and all the Sahaba and what they have had to put up with, but I am a weak person, very very weak and I cannot cope with it, and neither can my Mother. I know patience is a virtue and it is good but there is only so much one can be patient. I've constantly fought these evil thoughts but I am now finally succumbing and I genuinely don't know if I can carry on like this.

Feel free to smack me across the face or hit me with a bat. I probably need it.

[Umm Abed]

Thanks for replying.

We'r also awaiting the positive report with high hopes so that you and your mother can live in peace and quiet.

To say that all this suffering you'r undergoing is in vain - that is not true. You may feel like a weak person but in reality you are not. Having withstood all this banging for so many months - many people wouldve been sleeping in the street by now! But you do have that strength to pull through even though you may not realize it.

Please dont hover over the negative thoughts otherwise shaitan will take advantage and win, which must never happen. Have full faith in the words of Allah that everything happens at its appointed time.

When you see the rewards in the akhirah for your suffering in this world you will wish that the door banging continued and never stopped. So that is the magnanimity of the situation, which we can only comprehend in the hereafter.

So my advise to you is to hold on to positivity, and never give in to weakness of faith - relief will come soon, insha'allah.

May Allah make it easy for you and give you success, ameen.

[abumuslim82]

Salaam All

May ALLAH make ur tasks easy and the tasks of every believer of the kalmia, ameen ameen ameen

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams Umm Abed.

Thanks for your kind message.

It's not months of harassment. This has been ongoing for years now. I did not have the courage of moving out when I was younger but enough is enough. If it was a few months I would understand but this is years and years so to think Allah is all kind and caring etc is something that does not ring true with me at this moment in time. If I am an evil person why are my family also having to suffer? I feel my Iman is going again and I am way too tired to try and save it now.

The funniest thing was my Mother made me listen to yet another bayan last night. The Aalim was talking about how good people respect other humans and neighbours and how if you didn't, you were doomed. At that point I just got up and walked off and told my Mother to stop listening to such rubbish. None of it makes sense. Not one single bit. And I have had non stop door slamming again today. It makes me wonder if the scriptures got lost in translation and instead of being a good person it's actually Islamic to be completely the opposite. Oh I really am ready to throw in the towel. I am so so tired.

I know I am talking rubbish but that is how it feels. I don't even know why I bother anymore. I shouldn't have gone to the Masjid yesterday!!!

[hisnameiszzz]

I don't gamble. I don't drink. I don't smoke. Even at my age I haven't taken any drugs. I don't sleep with people. I don't use interest money. I don't swear much. I pray. I give to charity. I look after my Mom and my siblings who are unwell. I open doors for people. I pray and beg everyday even though I kind of know nothing will change.

What am I doing wrong? Can someone please guide me.

[BeTheChange]

I don't gamble. I don't drink. I don't smoke. Even at my age I haven't taken any drugs. I don't sleep with people. I don't use interest money. I don't swear much. I pray. I give to charity. I look after my Mom and my siblings who are unwell. I open doors for people. I pray and beg everyday even though I kind of know nothing will change.

What am I doing wrong? Can someone please guide me.

Brother,

I know it must be very hard but try not to go down the road of my 'why me?'. It leads to nothing but negativity, self-pity and depression.

Say Alhamdulilah even though you are experiencing difficulty & insha Allah your reward will be great.

You must occupy yourself in a hobby or something that you are interested in. Stay focused and distract your mind in your chosen activity. Insha Allah.


In the saheeh hadeeth it says: “The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allaah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2396) and Ibn Maajah (4031); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

Calamities are good for the believer in the sense that reward is stored up for him the Hereafter thereby; how can it be otherwise when he is raised in status thereby and his bad deeds are expiated? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When Allaah wills good for His slave, He hastens the punishment for him in this world, and when Allaah wills ill for His slave, he withholds the punishment for his sins from him until he comes with all his sins on the Day of Resurrection.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2396); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

Al-Hasan al-Basri (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.”

Please visit https://islamqa.info/en/71236

[Umm Abed]

Salaams Umm Abed.

Thanks for your kind message.

It's not months of harassment. This has been ongoing for years now. I did not have the courage of moving out when I was younger but enough is enough. If it was a few months I would understand but this is years and years so to think Allah is all kind and caring etc is something that does not ring true with me at this moment in time. If I am an evil person why are my family also having to suffer? I feel my Iman is going again and I am way too tired to try and save it now.

The funniest thing was my Mother made me listen to yet another bayan last night. The Aalim was talking about how good people respect other humans and neighbours and how if you didn't, you were doomed. At that point I just got up and walked off and told my Mother to stop listening to such rubbish. None of it makes sense. Not one single bit. And I have had non stop door slamming again today. It makes me wonder if the scriptures got lost in translation and instead of being a good person it's actually Islamic to be completely the opposite. Oh I really am ready to throw in the towel. I am so so tired.

I know I am talking rubbish but that is how it feels. I don't even know why I bother anymore. I shouldn't have gone to the Masjid yesterday!!!

Wassalam brother, and thanks again for your reply.

I can understand your frustrations and anger, but I want to put this across, that no matter what your difficulty is dont ever let go of your faith even one inch for one second! Subhanallah! The hardship you are going through with the door-banging is huge. Those people's inconsiderateness is shocking, but with all that, I believe there is hope for a good future, just dont give up on trying.

How far are you at with the house buying?

This came to mind, do you know about those door attachments that you can fix behind doors to make them close quietly? I think that could be a solution, if they - or even you - can put these onto their doors.

[hisnameiszzz]

Wassalam brother, and thanks again for your reply.

I can understand your frustrations and anger, but I want to put this across, that no matter what your difficulty is dont ever let go of your faith even one inch for one second! Subhanallah! The hardship you are going through with the door-banging is huge. Those people's inconsiderateness is shocking, but with all that, I believe there is hope for a good future, just dont give up on trying.

How far are you at with the house buying?

This came to mind, do you know about those door attachments that you can fix behind doors to make them close quietly? I think that could be a solution, if they - or even you - can put these onto their doors.

Salaams, and thanks for your kind response.

I finally got the survey back yesterday. I was hoping and praying there would be no problems, but it seems like that house needs a lot of things doing. I have just looked through the report properly and there are issues with the structure, the roof, the gas and electric, the windows.

The seller specifically said he was not willing to drop any further, so tomorrow I will try and negotiate the price. I know he said he was not going to budge, but I hope he changes his mind. I really want out from here. Mind you, this might just mean this house was not right for me, but I don't know how much longer this can go on.

My brother has had the operation and has to sleep in the front room and the people next door will not stop slamming the door that is adjacent to our front room, so he is in pain and trying to rest and they keep disturbing him. He can't even sleep at night they make that much noise. Boohoo!

I try and put on a brave face for my Mother, but I am tiring of doing that. :heated::heated:

[Umm Abed]

Wassalam alhamdulillah.

You say the structure has faults in it, do you think its major? Apart from that the other things can be dealt with and fixed slowly as you get the money and time, and Im sure you cant wait to make this move.

If you are getting value for your money then bismillah, go ahead with it. Hows the neighbourhood, distance to shopping facilities etc?

I know its very hard for the family to live under these disturbing conditions thats why I hope you really get out of there soon.

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams Umm Abed,

I've read through the report a few times and I even called a woman from work (she was forced out of her house by her neighbours too and knows about surveys and offers etc). There are 3 ratings of 3 and these all appear to be major structural issues, so they need to be sorted out asap.

I put an offer of, as an example, £105K, but the report suggests it's not even worth £95K and then it says there is at least £3K+ worth of work that needs doing, so it might be that this one is not for me. He said he would not drop the price at all and I doubt he will negotiate, but I am going to try. I had all my hopes pinned on this house. Back to the drawing board I guess.

Jazakallah to you Umm Abed and all the others for all their support and well wishes. What would I do without you guys! :statisfie

[Umm Abed]

Wassalam brother,

Now this doesnt sound like very good news considering the price you have to pay and the cost of the repairs to the house. Do you think itl be worth the price? Perhaps have a good think and second opinion about it and decide what to do. You dont want to be stuck with something later on which you cannot manage or afford to fix. Any other houses around on offer?

I like the spirit that you have, of trying and not giving up, keep it up, insha'allah you come to a solution that solves all your problems.

You'r most welcome and in our duas, may Allah make it a success ameen.

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaam UMM ABED and everyone else.

I've just had the uncomfortable conversation with the seller. He is not willing to reduce the price at all. I told him there were issues with the house and he asked to see the report, so I asked if he would drop and he said "nope, but I would like to see the report anyway", so I told him where to go. I've had a few angry texts off him since for being a timewaster. Me? A timewaster? Mate, you are a Muslim and you told me the survey would not find a single problem and it was a waste of time me having one done? Oh please! I know everyone wants big money for their house, but deceptions like that? I guess I should be grateful I didn't fall down that drain!

I'm feeling really sad again. You have all been on my journey with me for such a long time and you all know what I have been going through with the oppression from the people that live next door. I think you will all have noticed me on quite an upbeat positive mentality as of late, but that's all come crashing down. The peak went higher and higher, and I was even selling things from my room to make the final bit of money to buy the house and now it's all back to square one. A bit daft of me I know but I genuinely thought this was going to work out and it's only a few streets away, so even if Mom didn't move, I would be able to help her out but still have some piece.

I'm trying to think positively, a bit like the Titanic picture where the man misses the Titanic and then complains to Allah "why always me?" when we all know the Titanic was doomed. However, it's not working and I just can't fathom the thought of living a day longer next to these evil people. I know there was a poster making fun of me for wanting to kill myself because of noisy neighbours, but that seems like the only option now. I don't think I can go through the whole hassle of going to see a house numerous times, spending money on surveys and then for it to all come crashing down again.

I'm trying to think it's only a test blah blah blah, but my gosh, how many more tests? I genuinely cannot cope.

I was just talking to my Mom and I told her what had happened and she said to me "don't worry, Allah will help you find something". I gave her the "don't even go there" look and since I have been in my bedroom crying my eyes out. Oh and the oppressive people have been slamming their doors even more today. I hate my life.

Everyone at work will want to know what happened as my colleagues have been so supportive. I don't think I can bear the thought of telling them what has happened as I will just burst into tears each time. :cry::cry::cry:

[Umm Abed]

Wassalam brother,

Thanks for taking the time to give a detailed reply. I can sense your helplessness and frustrations, but alhamdulillah you got saved from this major deception, just imagine if you bought this place and its crumbling apart, what hassles would that be, so thankfully you got saved from all that. For the seller to say you'r wasting his time is just wrong and unrealistic, better you dont take it to heart as you have done the right thing and just move on now.

The sadness you feel is normal. It will pass. Its a good thing you've got supportive colleagues and take their help if they ever offer. Look out for another house even if its further down and small, I trust that you will find something better soon.

Just hold on there, may Allah make it easy for you and give you what is best, ameen.