:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)
:sl: (Peace be upon you)
Welcome, my beautiful sister, to IB! Thank you for joining IB. :)
format_quote Originally Posted by
wkostuk
i am having all of the same problems. My family is very strony christian and i know i will not have support from them. I also do not know how i will abstain from Marijuana, occasional drinking, and sex before marriage. Im 19 and i turn 20 this year and i havent told anyone about it until its official and i have done shahada.
Hey, honey, it's perfectly okay to be having those problems; I think we've all struggles and we're all struggling differently and so remember that we're all in it together as well as Muslims trying to be on the path of goodness on the Straight Path!
I know that it's going to be hard to abstain from sex before marriage but you also have to remind yourself that you're so much more than your body and your body as a woman deserves to be shared with someone who'll respect you enough to give you his commitment before God that he'll be with you through both the worst and the best times; think through all the heartbreaks you've had in your life and you'll see that your heart is more precious to God and should not be given to any person who is not ready to take care of your heart better than you have in your life.
Marijuana and social drinking are intoxicants that I know might be something that you've used as a way to decompress, but remember that there are healthier alternatives that you can use to decompress. Healthier alternatives can include walking, bicycling, exercising in the gym, hiking, cooking, knitting, painting, baking, meditating, doing photography, joining a new Muslim class either online or in the mosque or at Islamic center nearest you, volunteering, joining a local meetup for a hobby or something else of interest, getting a massage, cleaning, or anything else that makes you feel better and more positive and in a frame of mind to give yourself the best in terms of what you're putting in your body and in your life.
When you first tell your family (if you decide to tell them as you're not obliged to do so as many converts have from the time of Prophet :saws: to now decided to hide their religion, at least initially, and sometimes for years), your family might react badly; since they are strongly Christian, they might see what you've done as a betrayal of their values and tradition and might be extremely concerned for you that you don't become a terrorist or extremist. They might feel scared and concerned because of how negatively the media paints Islam and Muslim. And you know what? Their concern is okay, because they love you and they want the best for you, and all they probably want to know is that you're still going to be the you that they know and love. And you can give them that reassurance by being the best version of yourself and letting your character and your mannerisms with them speak about Islam; see, your family will learn more about how you're from observing you than in a day of you talking to them about Islam. And you're now an ambassador of Islam to your family and so you will have to be very, very, very patient with them. See, Prophet :saws: (peace and blessings be upon him) told us, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family."
All of that is to say that if you want to talk or share, please do feel free to PM me as well, as I will be happy to be there
InshaAllah (God-willing) for you as your servant, sister, and friend in whatever small capacity I'm able and encourage you on this Straight Path on which we're all struggling as human beings. Most importantly, however, if you're struggling with anything ever and especially with the things you've mentioned, do not feel shy to turn to Allah and supplicate in
duas (supplications) to Him to make things and Islam easy for you as all success is ultimately from Allah.
Always try your best, even if you fail, keep trying. Allah sees your work, your passion, and persistence. And to Allah, what matters is our intentions as Prophet :saws:
(peace and blessings be upon him) informed us.
Smile, sis. :) Because
InshaAllah (God-willing) everything's gonna be okay, and you're going to get there - just take baby steps!
Barakllahu feeki (may Allah bless you).
Wishing you happiness for today, tomorrow, and ALWAYS,
:wa: (And peace be upon you)