PDA

View Full Version : the idea of shmexz and shmomance and love....me hating it!



ramen-thelegend
04-14-2016, 03:28 PM
:sl: to the muslim ummah!
trust me you cant imagine my startle while writing this down. this is so embarassing and disgusting but i thought i should ask this question before you guys get to know me any better..
so whatever i'm about say might sound absurd to you but i'm speaking ill of this stuff because of my personnal experiences...
so what the thing is, is that i hate the idea of love and shmotance and shmexzz(i hope you're getting what i'm trying to say)
it fills me with loathing
i dont understand how people can be like ooo i've fallen in love and then after a day...pfff..nothing happened..


i dont understand why do we have to get married???whats so interesting about this shmotance? why do we have to have shmexx? doesn't that sound disgusting to you?
just saying shmexx makes me go like bhakhhhh plakh pffhh and i have to go to do toothbrush! and if someone mentions this it makes me +o(+o(!


i dont want any explanations as it would be reaaaally akward but just answer me if "yes" or "no" me thinnking of it this way is haram?


so is this haram?
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
farhan
04-14-2016, 03:32 PM
:wa:

What is wrong with having a best friend, to be there for you in your hard times, happy times and live together forever in Jannah :D :ia:.
Reply

ramen-thelegend
04-14-2016, 03:38 PM
Originally Posted by farhan
:wa:

What is wrong with having a best friend, to be there for you in your hard times, happy times and live together forever in Jannah :D :ia:.
umm i dont think there's such a thing as best friend for me:hmm: there's no one by my side in bad times.....why do i need them ?

anyways so is it haram to ..like i mean me thinking that way?
Reply

Umm Abed
04-14-2016, 03:46 PM
Originally Posted by Meentajir
umm i dont think there's such a thing as best friend for me:hmm:

anyways so is it haram to ..like i mean me thinking that way?
Maybe you'r one of those people who like their own company.

I think thats fine, if you'r content with it.:D
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
ramen-thelegend
04-14-2016, 03:59 PM
Originally Posted by Umm Abed
Maybe you'r one of those people who like their own company.

I think thats fine, if you'r content with it.:D
no its not like that..yeah i prefer my own company but because everybody hates me or lets just say people will keep saying whatever they like but my mom thinks i'm a mistake and my brother thinks this world would be a better place if i kill myself.
all the boys my age will be one day like...i like you and the other day they'll tell the whole school how bad i am!
i find all this stuff meaning less. my grandparents are divorced and so are my parents(not sure but they broke up when i was 3).
i feel like everyone's just faking it until they find something bad about their "best friend" and then the drama is over!

thanks anyways! thanks alot!
Reply

noraina
04-14-2016, 05:03 PM
You are young sister, you may change your way of thinking, you may not . It is not fardh to get married, but it is Sunnah.

To be honest I find Islam's take on love beautiful - no stupid failed relationships beforehand or months of dating. You get married to someone, love them for the sake of Allah, inshaAllah spend the rest of your life with them and help one another in the Deen, entering Jannah together one day. I am a hopeless romantic but I so want that in my life. :D
Reply

ConcealedGem
04-14-2016, 05:10 PM
May Allah swt grant you what is best and make you righteous..

You might change your mind in the future :) Companionship from the opposite gender is what humans naturally desire, and Islam encourages marriage so think good of it and remember not all marriages are the same, everything is Qadr of Allah, make loads of dua to Allah azzawajal.
Reply

ramen-thelegend
04-15-2016, 10:48 AM
ok ok i get it is blah blah blah
but you didn't answer: if me is thinking about shmex and shomance that way, is it haram? or you have to be like no no no no....

again please dont explain to me as it would be really awkward...
so is it haram?
Reply

~ Sabr ~
04-15-2016, 10:58 AM
:wasalamex

What is there to be disgusted about? I assume you are speaking about romance and s.e.x?

How old are you?
Reply

noraina
04-15-2016, 11:00 AM
No, it's not haram from what I know. As I said, marriage is not fardh (but is it Sunnah :D).
Reply

ramen-thelegend
04-15-2016, 11:02 AM
Originally Posted by ~ Sabr ~
:wasalamex

What is there to be disgusted about? I assume you are speaking about romance and s.e.x?

How old are you?
mam the whole idea or concept of it sounds disgusting to me!
yhasss i am...:embarrass

i am 14 years old
Reply

~ Sabr ~
04-15-2016, 11:05 AM
Originally Posted by Meentajir
mam the whole idea or concept of it sounds disgusting to me!
yhasss i am...:embarrass

i am 14 years old
Your mindset will change as you grow older. By the looks of the way you type, you probably haven't matured yet.
When you mature, you will think differently.
Reply

ramen-thelegend
04-15-2016, 11:10 AM
Originally Posted by ~ Sabr ~

Your mindset will change as you grow older. By the looks of the way you type, you probably haven't matured yet.
When you mature, you will think differently.
sister i had the same mindset four years back....i dont think i'm going to change....
all my classmates are already growing so fast and i'm just there like why do we have to fall in love???
i'm 14, not 7! shouldn't have grown up by now?
i guess if i haven't then i wont ...ever....
Reply

~ Sabr ~
04-15-2016, 11:10 AM
Originally Posted by Meentajir
sister i had the same mindset four years back....i dont think i'm going to change....
all my classmates are already growing so fast and i'm just there like why do we have to fall in love???
i'm 14, not 7! shouldn't have grown up by now?
i guess if i haven't then i wont ...ever....
Let me put this is a straight and simple answer. When you start menstruating, your thoughts will change.
Reply

ramen-thelegend
04-15-2016, 11:25 AM
Originally Posted by ~ Sabr ~

Let me put this is a straight and simple answer. When you start menstruating, your thoughts will change.
imsad that was embarassing.............so embarassing.........
already did a year back!
no change!

please dont lecture me on all that...this is so mortifying ....i gathered guts to ask some senior students at my school and they wasted my whole p.e class lecturing me........
i came here for a simple answer in yes or no....why do people have to keep explaining ????
YES or NO?

looking forward to edit my post as soon as i get a reply.....:-[
Reply

~ Sabr ~
04-15-2016, 11:35 AM
Originally Posted by Meentajir
YES or NO?
No, as you haven't fully matured. Khalaas.
Reply

ramen-thelegend
04-15-2016, 11:42 AM
Originally Posted by ~ Sabr ~

No, as you haven't fully matured. Khalaas.
yasss khalaas!
see, it's as simple as that!




+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(
Reply

Serinity
04-15-2016, 12:33 PM
:salam:

Just don't think about it. The time will come, In shaa' Allah. And Allah knows best whether He will will that or not.
Reply

ramen-thelegend
04-15-2016, 04:42 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
:salam:

Just don't think about it. The time will come, In shaa' Allah. And Allah knows best whether He will will that or not.
how do i ....not think about something i am thinking about, or the whole world around me is thinking about?:embarrass^o):heated:
Reply

Serinity
04-15-2016, 04:48 PM
Originally Posted by Meentajir
how do i ....not think about something i am thinking about, or the whole world around me is thinking about?:embarrass^o):heated:
you don't think about it, simple. Or perhaps the fact that you think about it...... hm.. Just don't think about it?
Reply

ConcealedGem
04-15-2016, 04:54 PM
Keep yourself busy, you're growing up so its normal for you to question things at your age, explore if you want too but don't get too fixated on an idea, don't waste too much time thinking about it so much that it affects you and your studies otherwise you'll go a bit cuckoo.
Reply

Hamza :)
04-15-2016, 04:57 PM
Originally Posted by Meentajir
how do i ....not think about something i am thinking about, or the whole world around me is thinking about?:embarrass^o):heated:
You got better things to do. Figure out when to use 'hain' and 'hai'. You don't have to worry about it at the moment. You're not getting married or anything so don't drain your brain ;)
Reply

ramen-thelegend
04-15-2016, 05:32 PM
Originally Posted by ConcealedGem
Keep yourself busy, you're growing up so its normal for you to question things at your age, explore if you want too but don't get too fixated on an idea, don't waste too much time thinking about it so much that it affects you and your studies otherwise you'll go a bit cuckoo.

Originally Posted by Hamza :)
You got better things to do. Figure out when to use 'hain' and 'hai'. You don't have to worry about it at the moment. You're not getting married or anything so don't drain your brain
ok...
Reply

ramen-thelegend
04-16-2016, 11:40 AM
sorry i might be annoying you all but..only one more answer please and then i'll ask no more questions related to this.
how do i explain it to my class mates?
if you're interested in answering i'll tell you why: i just did a very big mistakeimsad
i always do mistakes
and then i regret those mistakes
now help me please!
Reply

ConcealedGem
04-16-2016, 11:43 AM
Originally Posted by ramen-thelegend
sorry i might be annoying you all but..only one more answer please and then i'll ask no more questions related to this.
how do i explain it to my class mates?
if you're interested in answering i'll tell you why: i just did a very big mistakeimsad
i always do mistakes
and then i regret those mistakes
now help me please!
just be like youre too young to think about it right now, or better still tell them u don't know what any of that is, be like mummy jii brought me up innocent and I will stay innocent now leave me alone. :D
Reply

ramen-thelegend
04-17-2016, 04:00 AM
14 too young...i dont think so
you guys seem to all talk about marriage; marriage is not what i'm talking about




ok i've had enough, i'm going to tell you what i just did there !
we had finished our work before time so i asked my computer teacher if i can go back to class and revise for exams. he said yes. now i did not know this other dude who took computer sciences with me will also be coming along( there's another guy too but he was absent that day). anyways i dont say anything, me avoiding drama.

as we peek into our class we see the business studies teacher seems really mad and we both look at each other and be like you go in first but none of us do and just wait for the bell; yeah standing in the corridor; right outside of our class!


now out of nowhere he randomnly utters: i like you. me: thank you. him: no; you know what i mean! me: o please... him: what please??? me: *tells him about how i feel about all this disgusting stuff* him: why dont you try; your mind might change. me:*feels like punching him in the face but i control and explain how islam thinks of it* him: are you sure? stop putting islam into this! me:*really mad but * dont you see i just started wearing hijab? and no music? how could u?... him:*interrupts* i bet you dont know one hadith or ayah to support what you just said about how islam thinks of it! me: ok i dont but that doesn't change anything! lets go to the library and i'll show it to you in quran or bukhari!him: you know bukhari is a seven volume book right?me: lets just go to the back to the computer lab and we'll google it?!?! him : just stop..*blah bhah blah*!!!me: a second before you just said you liked me? man how could you??? man you dont even know me! him: yes i do! me : no you dont *starts up with all the bad stuff and stories of mine*
him: ok stop! just stop! this is sooo weird! me: i told ya !*bell rings in a minute* him: just dont tell anyone ok? this never happened! me: dont.. him: just shut up! me : ....ok...i'll try


and after this, he does what all the other guys back in wales did, i.e tell others about all the bad stuff i said about myself.what's worse is he gets islam into it too! like how i was before islam really evolved my life! and thats really annoying! i honestly wouldn't have cared anyless but my mom and my brother are really fed up of me and they keep begging me to let them live in peace for some time in pakistan.


i've already tried to ask him indirectly to stop but he ended up asking me" are you sure you thinking of shmex and shmotance this way is halal?" me has no answer. me asks three senior boys at school( i play basketball with them...) and they start lecturing me! me keeps asking for answer in yes or no but like you guys they too be like you're immature and growing up and you'll change and blah blah..


now you get it?
ok so now tell me what to do? how do i explain it to him? or anyother way i get him to stop except for asking teachers or someone and without me getting shirty! because that's going to get me in trouble...


ps. i know every single reply shouldn't have been the way it was and it was really bad of me i asked senoir boys about it but....it's done. now what am i going to do??? i regret every single thing i just did...i dont want to ignore it either
Reply

Bhabha
04-17-2016, 04:05 AM
You are too young right now. I was not thinking about marriage or what comes implied with marriage until by the end of my bachelors in Uni lol. At 14, tell the guy you are TOO YOUNG and BOYS HAVE COOTIES and you don't want anything to do with a guy because there are seriously more interesting and less dramatically filled events. Are you able to switch schools? This sounds more like bullying and rude boys just being rude boys.
Reply

ramen-thelegend
04-17-2016, 04:23 AM
Originally Posted by Bhabha
You are too young right now. I was not thinking about marriage or what comes implied with marriage until by the end of my bachelors in Uni lol. At 14, tell the guy you are TOO YOUNG and BOYS HAVE COOTIES and you don't want anything to do with a guy because there are seriously more interesting and less dramatically filled events. Are you able to switch schools? This sounds more like bullying and rude boys just being rude boys.
someone bullying me;D...nahhhhhh;Di would have tried my kung fu skills on him already if he tried that;D
i'll try working on the other stuff you said though
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 9
    Last Post: 05-19-2017, 05:24 AM
  2. Replies: 21
    Last Post: 05-23-2011, 05:54 PM
  3. Replies: 18
    Last Post: 09-04-2010, 12:06 AM

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!