Divorce isn't such a tragedy

[strivingobserver98]

This!

People think divorcees are the worst of people yet they forget that even the daughters of the sahaba were divorced by her husband, a sahabi, who was promised jannah, for being too harsh. Was she ridiculed or ostracized? No!

Why then do we do it to our sisters?! Allah swt has made divorce a solution NOT a punishment.

The mother of the believers Khadija (ra) was married twice and widowed both times; she had 3 children before she married RasulAllah (sallilahu alayhi wa sallam), were they seen as a burden? NO! They lived with them and were raised by Rasulullah (sallilahu alayhi wa sallam).

To the sisters wanting to flee abusive marriages there is NO evidence from them he Qur'an or sunnah that says a woman must stay even when she is suffering abuse.

Don't stress if you are divorced thinking you won't remarry. Men are supposed to compliment you not be an added stress!

This poisonous thinking is cultural NOT Islamic. The women of the past would be approached for marriage AS SOON AS their iddat was up. RasulAllah (sallilahu alayhi wa sallam's) own daughters were divorcees (they were married to the sons of Abu Lahab)! If it was always the woman's fault then why were they referred to as 'light' when they married Uthman Ibn Affan?! He was known as 'the possessor of the two lights' the "lights" being Ruqqayah and Umm Kulthum (Radiallahu Anhuma).

Please share this and raise awareness about the true beauty of Islam and not the cultural version.

Source: The Ideal Muslimah

[noraina]

People often, very annoyingly and sanctimoniously, say that divorce is the most hated 'halal' action according to Allah SWT, and a woman who leaves an abusive marriage is stigmatised in the community for life, they forget that is it still halal and watching a Bollywood film, saying 'uff' to your parents, missing your prayer, not keeping a fast in Ramadan, eating a gelatin sweet are much more disliked to Allah SWT than divorce.

It is so sad that society does not give women the rights and privileges they were promised by Allah and His Messenger (pbuh).

[M.I.A.]

Yep devorces and polygamy are both frowned upon..

Both have legimate validation and abuse of the rule.

[سيف الله]

Salaam

I'm double minded about this, If there are serious problems in the marriage (marital abuse etc) and they cant be resolved then yes sometimes it is the only option. However particularly now in western cultures couples divorces for the most frivolous of reasons). Its not something we wish to import into our culture, unless we want family breakdown to become the norm.

And whether you like it or not people are going to judge you on whether you've divorced. People want to know why. Like I said if you have good reasons (hopefully) families will understand but if you don't have good reasons then naturally they will be wary.

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['Abd-al Latif]

:salamext:

As much as I agree with the purpose of your message that Allah has allowed divorce, I recommend you rephrase some of your wording. Before even thinking of divorce, it's of the highest importance to help the troubled married couple reconcile. The Prophet (saw) said that the most hated thing to Allah that He has made permissible is divorce. The Prophet (saw) also said that the only way to come close to Allah is through the book of Allah and the sunnah of the Messenger, and marriage is a sunnah that can only bring one closer to Allah with the correct intention. The husband and wife who look at one another with mercy, Allah will look at them with mercy. Whenever a husband and wife have sex for the pleasure of the Almighty, Allah will reward them and will count their actions as sadaqah. Every morsel of food that a husband puts in his wife's mouth is sadaqah, and the way to receive the praise of the Messenger of Allah on the day of judgement is to have lots of children through marriage.

Although divorce is an option given by Allah, one must make every effort possible to avoid divorce as reconciliation is the ideal option. In today's world unity and togetherness is a priority and we cannot have unity in our ummah if our Muslim brothers and sisters cannot have unity in their marriages.

You've started an excellent thread here http://www.islamicboard.com/family-s...fe-thread.html. I strongly suggest you give that thread priority over this one as married couples are far more in need of guidance and an encouragement to stay together than an exit strategy.

[Mashura]

Unfortunately people talk about everything. May Allaah facilitate for everyone what's beneficial for them. And make that path easy for them. Aameen
As for people... it's not part of our deen to please everyone because that's really not in our hands. As long as we don't intentionally oppress anyone in.Shaa.Allaah we should be okay. And Allaah knows best

[Bhabha]

This is a good thread not to provoke people to 'divorce', but rather to dismiss the stigmas about divorcees that are so prevalent amongst Muslims.

[IrfanUllahKhan]

I agree with the post.

The worst thing is the stigma in our societies that people don't accept to marry a divorcee so the man or woman can't find a good spouse after the divorce! This needs to change!