format_quote Originally Posted by
Jasonsk
Aslamo Alajkom
I'm typing this post in hope to get some real help becouse I'm really standing on the cliff ready to jump. I know well enough that if I do jump then it will be then end for me.
I'm not trying to sound overdramatic here, but Im really lost, I have lost All my Iman and I cannot see any hope no matter how hard I try.
For years I have been suffering of Depression and Anxiety due to past regret.
I hate to admit it but Satan has won and I feel abandoned by Allah. Im always in pain (not physical) and always angry. Feel like crying but my eyes have dried up.
My family does not understand my pain and nor do they care to, I feel that I can only complain to Allah and I'm almost sure that my voice is not reaching.
I want my Iman back, I want to feel that Allah got my back, I want to make a request of Allah to help me with my problem and I want Allah to accept my dua.
If things go on like this then I will lose myself completly for sure
I have been feeling like this for years and I truly have no more "Saaber"
This is my cry for help and I ask my brothers and sisters to gain "Saouab" and help me in my quest.
Tell me how to :
- Re-gain my Iman
- Come closer to Allah
- Detailed step-by-step on how I can make my dua's granted
I'm willing to go to any length if I can feel any hope but as it stands now I dont even know how to start.
Walaikum asalaam
I just read your post and it really touched my heart.
Satan has never won unless you let him. He will continue to come at u in every direction to weaken you and make u feel helpless but as long as u have breath inside you, you have everything to change your situation.
As for your past regret, all your bad deeds can be changed into good deeds through repentance. This is the mercy of our Lord! He is so great that He has created many channels and ways for us to return to Him if we choose to. As long as you have life you have every moment to turn back to Him and this is something you should thank Him deeply for. He could have taken your life away deep in the regret or before you had repented. Out of His mercy He allowed you to stay alive and inshaAllah use your regret as a spurring motivation for everything else in your life.
This is not the time for you to be sad, this is the time for you to be grateful. Grateful to him that it is a PAST regret and He brought you out of it and that there is something left inside you that makes you want to increase your emaan.
Your voice always reaches Him. But remember that it is even out of His Mercy that He allows u to feel pain and feel regret so much so that the thing becomes so hated to you. Imagine if He had left u in a 'happy' state. You would never want to turn to Him as desperately as you do now
I can read the pain in your words. But I feel like this is the beginning of the uphill climb inshaAllah
once upon a time I felt very similar to you - lost and broken
but I would literally mention Allah swt in all my moments just repeat astaghfirullah or subhanAllah or make dhikr of Allah and repeat the dua of yunus as which will relieve u from any distress.
Dua of Yunus (A.S) repenting to Allah in the belly of the whale:
لَّا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أَنتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ (21:87)
l
a il
aha ill
a anta sub
hanaka innee kuntu mina a
lththalimeen
a
“La ilaha illa Anta [none has the right to be worshipped but You (O Allah)], Glorified (and Exalted) are You [above all that (evil) they associate with You]. Truly, I have been of the wrong-doers."
Imagine under all those darknesses Yunus as cried out to His Lord and Allah swt brought Him out of it. I cried for almost a year every day and I would stay at work to empty those tears so no one would know what I felt inside. But Allah swt made a way for me and He healed me.
So I have full faith He will heal you too because He says:
I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me.
If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself;
and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it.
If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length.
And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.’” -(Sahih Bukhari)
Make Allah swt central to everything in your life and ask Him if you are doing anything He is displeased with to show you
but I agree our attachments to the Quran should be the strongest cos even in the dua for relieving anxiety this is mentioned:
The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:
“There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says:
اللّهُمَّ إِنِّي عَبْدُكَ ابْنُ عَبْدِكَ ابْنُ أَمَتِكَ نَاصِيَتِي بِيَدِكَ، مَاضٍ فِيَّ حُكْمُكَ، عَدْلٌ فِيَّ قَضَاؤكَ أَسْأَلُكَ بِكُلِّ اسْمٍ هُوَ لَكَ سَمَّيْتَ بِهِ نَفْسَكَ أَوْ أَنْزَلْتَهُ فِي كِتَابِكَ، أَوْ عَلَّمْتَهُ أَحَداً مِنْ خَلْقِكَ أَوِ اسْتَأْثَرْتَ بِهِ فِي عِلْمِ الغَيْبِ عِنْدَكَ أَنْ تَجْعَلَ القُرْآنَ رَبِيعَ قَلْبِي، وَنورَ صَدْرِي وجَلَاءَ حُزْنِي وذَهَابَ هَمِّي
‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka ibn ‘abdika ibn amatika naasyati bi yadika, maadhin fiyya hukmuka,
‘adlun fiyya qadhaa’uka. As’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu
fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilmil-ghaybi ‘indaka
an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’a qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’ huzni wa thihaab hammi
[O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave; my forelock is
in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just.
I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed
in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge
of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast,
and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety],’ but Allaah will take away his distress
and grief, and replace it with joy.” 27
He was asked: “O Messenger of Allaah, should we learn this?” He said: “Of course; everyone who hears it
should learn it.”
and remember
we know its in the remembrance of Allah that hearts find rest so make your heart full of Him because the only relationship we have with Him is through obedience of Him.