I have neglected Allah and acted lazy and only went back to him properly only in distress. I have been having kufr thoughts and doubts about Allah and Islam even saying these words by mistake. However I have been sinning a lot while having these thoughts major sins. I have been praying late and didn't give proper time a devotion to Allah and I feel like a hypocrite even now my kufr thoughts became worse cause of my major sins. I have been doing everything wrong and listening to evil when I was improving dragging myself back down into the ground. I disrespected Allah and had really bad thoughts about him and had kufr statements in my mind. I need to change I want to end this right now and not just act like a fool and fall in the sin again and again. I want to end these thoughts and doubts and become a pious person after Allah did everything for me and I am evil human being decided to disrespect his greatness by commiting sins and once in distress going to him in tears. I don't want to cry fake tears or be a hypocrite I want to be the best Muslim not for the sake of people or showing off but for the sake of my creator and my love and respect for him. So the question is can I still be saved no matter how rock bottom my faith? If so how do I start this improvement I plan to pray my night prayers everyday from now on.
ALLAH swt will forgive you! no matter how much sins you've done and how big they were.(except for shirk)
you need to ask for forgiveness, only once, with pure intentions of not committing those sins again.
you just repent for your sins and move on! become a better muslim and forget about them(after you've learned your lessons obviously)
wait and watch how people here will guide you more ! you're in the right place!
ps. i cant say anything more because i myself am on my way to become a better muslim. or maybe after a day or two i'll come up with something more useful :)
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