I don't want to live anymore

[TheLostSoul]

I am pretty sure I got rid of my Islam. I was just thinking about my Allah and then I started getting doubts and then purposefully thought kufr and now I want to die!

I don't want to live no more I killed my Islam because of my sins and now the kufr I have had! I don't know what to do I am super depressed and hurting myself because look at me I have had waswas and now I don't know if I made the the thought or not but I'm pretty sure it was me.

I always thought bad things and hypocritical things against my Islam I always said bad things when asking Allah to guide me towards Islam I think of the opposite. I want to be a Muslim I don't want to lose the one thing that made me happy. I just want to kill myself and I think I should cause now when I say good my heart feels empty and my heart is dead so why should I weep when it was all my fault I should just end it. I feel empty and it's all my fault

[_E_3]

Please dont do this brother , Hold on we are here for you
i know that when things get too much for us we panic and we have suicidal thoughts
think of your family i lost my step dad to suicide its breaks hearts we where devastated there are no words for how much pain was left by him doing that
i also have felt like you do right now
take a step back breathe , call a Muslim helpline i dont know where about you are but try and talk things through with someone
dont give up and dont give up on Allah

[TheLostSoul]

I don't want to lose hope but I feel nothing after thinking such thoughts i just want to cry my eyes out but I hate myself I hate my ignorance my pride I hate it all I hate my existence I don't want to disbelieve in Allah but what if my Islam never come back I mean I still believe but now after what I thought which was denial I feel empty I just want to scream and cry.

I have been suffering from depression and waswas for a almost a year. I feel like a hypocrite and hypocrites don't know they are hypocrites and Allah knows what I am and I don't know my status infront of Allah. What if I am a liar but I don't want to be a liar but it is all because of my past because of my disobedience and now after these thoughts my heart is calm and empty and I hate it. I don't want to go to hell

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

Brother these are waswasaat from shaytan. If you still believe in Allah then you're still Muslim. You haven't committed any acts of kufr. If you've committed a sin, then there's a very simple thing you can do! It's called repentance..Pray for forgiveness and do good deeds for each sin you've done to cancel it out, and inshallah Allah will forgive you, and to keep waswas away from you busy yourself with acts of worship and accompany yourself with good people. There's no reason to hate yourself or feel humiliated to the extent that you want to kill yourself, this is shaytan making you move away from allah. Anyways, you're still a Muslim inshallah, so don't worry about that. Make ghusl and salaah to rid yourself of these feelings. WE turn to allah during times of difficulties not away...

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[*charisma*]

Depression is sometimes a serious medical issue especially if you're contemplating suicide, so maybe seek out a professional? One thing that will definitely help your depression is helping others! So find a cause you can be passionate about and ask if you can volunteer. It will remove you out of this dark cloud you are putting yourself in.

[_E_3]

If its helps scream into a pillow
I dont know what is going for you but what ever it is you can get through this
if we all have bad thoughts and thats just what they are they are thoughts dont let them control you
What ever is going on for you right now dont let it consume you take things slowly write down what is going on for you and think logcally what killing yourself will do to you and to your family
There is no painless death in suicide what ever way you do it it will hurt you and your family

Please hold on

[_E_3]

http://muslimcommunityhelpline.org.uk/
if your in the uk there is this crisis line for Muslims

[TheLostSoul]

It's just I don't want to lose my Islam and my faith feels weak and I feel like a fake and I don't want to be one. I just hate my ignorance I just want to have an open heart for Allah not one that doubts Allah and have bad thoughts repeatedly when someone utters and good about Allah. I have calmed down right now but I still worry. I won't kill myself because that will lead me to hell and I don't want to go to hell. I just want to be a good slave and have strong faith.

[*charisma*]

It's just I don't want to lose my Islam and my faith feels weak and I feel like a fake and I don't want to be one. I just hate my ignorance I just want to have an open heart for Allah not one that doubts Allah and have bad thoughts repeatedly when someone utters and good about Allah.

You can fix all of the problems your feeling. If you're ignorant, then learn more about Islam. If your faith feels weak then do different kinds of ibaadah. If you feel hypocritical or arrogant, then stay away from the things that make you prideful, do ibaadah in private, or be around people who are better than you in iman so that you can strive to be like them. We all have doubts at one point or another, iman fluctuates. NO ONE's iman stays constant all the time..we have our ups and downs.

[TheLostSoul]

I do, do Ibadaah in private ever since this started a year ago. It's just when I thought of these thought I thought I have accepted these evil things because the thoughts and I don't even know what are my thoughts anymore that's how bad it is. I know Allah forgives all sins but I don't want to be a liar. Allah knows what's in my heart and I don't. I just want to be true to Allah

[*charisma*]

I do, do Ibadaah in private ever since this started a year ago. It's just when I thought of these thought I thought I have accepted these evil things because the thoughts and I don't even know what are my thoughts anymore that's how bad it is. I know Allah forgives all sins but I don't want to be a liar. Allah knows what's in my heart and I don't. I just want to be true to Allah

May Allah ease your affairs bro...try doing different kinds of ibaadah, volunteer, be around good people. May allah ease your affairs ameen. Don't ever make suicide an option for yourself..Allah is giving you a reason to live and a chance everyday. No matter what waswas you get, you are still given a chance to repent and rectify your wrongs.

[muslimah_B]

I am pretty sure I got rid of my Islam. I was just thinking about my Allah and then I started getting doubts and then purposefully thought kufr and now I want to die!

I don't want to live no more I killed my Islam because of my sins and now the kufr I have had! I don't know what to do I am super depressed and hurting myself because look at me I have had waswas and now I don't know if I made the the thought or not but I'm pretty sure it was me.

I always thought bad things and hypocritical things against my Islam I always said bad things when asking Allah to guide me towards Islam I think of the opposite. I want to be a Muslim I don't want to lose the one thing that made me happy. I just want to kill myself and I think I should cause now when I say good my heart feels empty and my heart is dead so why should I weep when it was all my fault I should just end it. I feel empty and it's all my fault

The fact that you feel sad you say or think these things shows you still have emaan in your heart and belief.

What are the things that you think against islam, maybe we can clear up any misunderstandings you have with these certain issues.

You believe in Allah, so that is the best 1st step you have taken, admitting your faults and telling yourself you dont want to not be muslim.. IS A GOOD THING.

You thinking your heart is dead is the work of shaytan, your heart is dead when you turn away from islam and become a non-muslim believing yourswlf to be better off without Allah and his deen... which is the complete opposite of what you have said

"Auhdu billahi minash shaytanir rajeem"
(I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed shaytan)
Keep repeating in it and believe in what you are saying, believe that you are seeking refuge and help with Allah, believe those thoughts of kufr are from shaytan and not yourself believe that shaytan is a clear enemy to us and it is from shaytan that you feel this way

[Cpt.America]

I posted this in another thread before:

Depression is a real thing.
But no matter how down you feel, you have to remember that Allah chose to bless you with Imaan.
Sometimes we have down days, sometimes we sin, sometimes our Imaan is weak and it feels hard to do good deeds, and sometimes we simply have depression for many other reasons.

But despite all that you have to realize, when you doubt your own worth, Allah chose you to be created, and not only that chose to bless you with Imaan. So no matter how down you are, because that's a test of life, turn to Allah and InshaaAllah, maybe at a time you won't even notice, things will turn around.
The purpose of this life is to turn to Him. So keep at it, because He is the best One to turn to. And no matter how hard things get, do your best to stay patient.

Allah chose you to be Insaan, because He knows, even when you don't, that you have the potential to be a Muslim.
That you are doing small deeds with big impacts. That when you fall you turn back to Him.
That you are good enough to be raised amongst the greatest of all creation on Judgement Day.
And His Mercy outweighs His Wrath. So keep turning to Him.

No matter how painful it might be please don't cut yourself.
Allah has given you a beautifully functioning body to take care of in this life time, please don't harm it.
I understand cutting might feel like some brief relief from depression.
If you need to don't be afraid to ask for help or take antidepressants if necessary.

And I highly suggest you pick up praying Tahajjud, as well as all the other daily salaat.
When you need to cry, cry to Allah. When you feel alone, talk to Allah. Read Quran, pray nafil salaat, InshaaAllah Allah will take care of His beloved slaves. And the more you turn to Him the more beloved you will be.

[Cpt.America]

Remember even when you feel alone the Angels pray for you.

And about sadness

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=APj0fOzNxFU

m.youtube.com/watch?v=e342DlpoLT4


These two videos just came to mind. There are more but I can't search right now sorry.
InshaaAllah everything will be alright.

[Cpt.America]

My post from the same thread:

And even if you can't see an end out of this bruh, I guarantee you that somehow someday and all
of a sudden things will pass. Prophets have gone through extreme hardship and they didn't know how things would end, but they kept their belief in Allah and kept dedicated to their mission.
Ibrahim AS didn't know what his outcome would be with the fire.
Yusuf AS didn't know what his outcome would be in the ditch, in slavery, or in jail.
Yunus AS didn't know what his outcome would be from being swallowed by the fish.
Ayyub AS didn't know what his outcome would be with his illness.
Yaqub AS didn't know that his sight would return and his sons would be returned to him.
Ismail AS didn't know Allah would swap his place with the ram.
Musa AS didn't know what would happen when he returned to Egypt.
Musa AS's mother didn't know what would happen when she desperately threw her son in the river.
Maryam AS didn't know what would happen when she appeared with her son Isa AS.
Adam AS didn't know what would happen when he was put on this earth but he made Tawbah to Allah anyway.
Nuh AS suffered for over 900 years with an ummah who ridiculed him.
And Prophet Muhammad SAW suffered more hardship than any other man in history and is Allah's most beloved.

Please just keep turning to Allah
InshaaAllah through all of this trial and tribulation your bond with Him and reliance on your Lord will be stronger than ever.
And for every small hardship Allah rewards is immensely in the hereafter.
Your hardship doesn't mean that you aren't loved.
It is an opportunity for you to learn that Allah loves you most.
InshaaAllah you will realize that first hand in Jannah.

And whatever hardship this life has,
Hell is harder.
And whatever pleasure this life has, it is nothing compared to Jannah.
This life is short.
And the tests in this life are even shorter.
So don't give up on your life no matter how bad it seems at any point.

You will heal in time InshaaAllah.

[Cpt.America]

You are worried about your Imaan, so
that shows that you care about your Islam and that Allah loves you enough to pull you back even when you might be straying.
Don't doubt yourself and don't doubt Allah's faith in you.

You mentioned extreme waswas, so there is very good possibility that this may come from Jinn messing with you. Look into Rukya InshaaAllah

[Cpt.America]

The fact that you feel sad you say or think these things shows you still have emaan in your heart and belief.

What are the things that you think against islam, maybe we can clear up any misunderstandings you have with these certain issues.

You believe in Allah, so that is the best 1st step you have taken, admitting your faults and telling yourself you dont want to not be muslim.. IS A GOOD THING.

You thinking your heart is dead is the work of shaytan, your heart is dead when you turn away from islam and become a non-muslim believing yourswlf to be better off without Allah and his deen... which is the complete opposite of what you have said

"Auhdu billahi minash shaytanir rajeem"
(I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed shaytan)
Keep repeating in it and believe in what you are saying, believe that you are seeking refuge and help with Allah, believe those thoughts of kufr are from shaytan and not yourself believe that shaytan is a clear enemy to us and it is from shaytan that you feel this way

This is excellent advice Mashaallah

[Cpt.America]

Also excellent advice from sister Charisma.

[greenhill]

Welcome to the forum.

You must be fairly young from the way you write. First, a saying I heard when I was mid teens and the significance gets greater as we grow older.

"Today is the tomorrow we were worried about yesterday, but all is fine".

Basically, as long as our hearts are beating and we can still think and move, there is always possibility to 'seek' the right path. To make amends. You end it, that's all you get.

Next, that life IS a test! The fact that you realise this is already good. Now you can really earn those bonus points due to your real struggles compared to those who breeze through it. Imagine now those who go through your experience AND think they are doing nothing wrong. Allah has sealed their hearts. Yours is not.

Finally, Allah is most Forgiving and Merciful. He is the Best Guide. Seek His Guidance (Islamic way). Seek His Forgiveness. Repent. Not just end it. He Is giving you chances. Don't waste them or throw away.:hmm:

You have still a life ahead. Use it!

In the meantime, I wish you a great stay.


:peace:

[TheLostSoul]

Thanks for the advice. I have another problem though with doubts. Whenever someone says anything with subhanalah or alhamdulia or stagfrulah or other things about Allah my heart wavers and to me it feels like I am doubting and I hate it. Like what am I doubting like what is there to doubts?! Yet my heart doubts whenever people say that and when I say it nothing. This is one of my main problems

[~ Sabr ~]

:salamext:

How old are you?

[TheLostSoul]

20 years old

[muslimah_B]

Thanks for the advice. I have another problem though with doubts. Whenever someone says anything with subhanalah or alhamdulia or stagfrulah or other things about Allah my heart wavers and to me it feels like I am doubting and I hate it. Like what am I doubting like what is there to doubts?! Yet my heart doubts whenever people say that and when I say it nothing. This is one of my main problems

Keep reminding yourself of the actual meaning.
Sometimes people forget the meaninf and just say it in arabic.

SubhanAllah- glory to Allah
Alhamdulilah - praise be to Allah
Astagfirllah - may Allah forgive me

Are you praying ? Listning to Quran ?
Watching any islamic lectures ? Do you remember/ talk about Allah to people ?

[TheLostSoul]

Keep reminding yourself of the actual meaning.
Sometimes people forget the meaninf and just say it in arabic.

SubhanAllah- glory to Allah
Alhamdulilah - praise be to Allah
Astagfirllah - may Allah forgive me

Are you praying ? Listning to Quran ?
Watching any islamic lectures ? Do you remember/ talk about Allah to people ?

I do pray like every day including extra prayers and talk to people about Allah a lot. But I haven't been listening to the Quran as much.

[muslimah_B]

I do pray like every day including extra prayers and talk to people about Allah a lot. But I haven't been listening to the Quran as much.

In sha Allah increase listning to Quran, and choose specific verses to your situation, such as verses that talk about shaytan being a clear enemy, Allahs mercy, Allahs oneness, the power of Allah, creations of Allah

Then in sha Allah you will be in awe of Allah and you will want to praise Allah and thank Allah for all that he has done for us, putting your heart at ease and keeping you further from the waswas (whisperings of shaytan)

If your able to play/recite surah Al Baqarah out loud so that it reaches all corners of the house (within 3 days) to rid the house of any shayteen or non-muslim jinns

Just keep reminding yourself that these thoughts are from shaytan and as a believer in Allah you are stronger than him, and he cannot take you away from worshipping Allah (have firm belief in this)

[Serinity]

:salamext:

try to listen to some beautiful Quranic recitation:

http://legacy.quran.com/67

May Allah SWT ease your suffering. Ameen.

And Allah SWT knows best.

[EgyptPrincess]

I am pretty sure I got rid of my Islam. I was just thinking about my Allah and then I started getting doubts and then purposefully thought kufr and now I want to die!

I don't want to live no more I killed my Islam because of my sins and now the kufr I have had! I don't know what to do I am super depressed and hurting myself because look at me I have had waswas and now I don't know if I made the the thought or not but I'm pretty sure it was me.

I always thought bad things and hypocritical things against my Islam I always said bad things when asking Allah to guide me towards Islam I think of the opposite. I want to be a Muslim I don't want to lose the one thing that made me happy. I just want to kill myself and I think I should cause now when I say good my heart feels empty and my heart is dead so why should I weep when it was all my fault I should just end it. I feel empty and it's all my fault

Why do people always make threads about not wanting to live? If you don't want to live then go top yourself already and stop seeking attention. Just know that when you kill yourself you'll experience 1000x worse pain than you're in now. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, life's hard, get over it.

[muslimah_B]

Why do people always make threads about not wanting to live? If you don't want to live then go top yourself already and stop seeking attention. Just know that when you kill yourself you'll experience 1000x worse pain than you're in now. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, life's hard, get over it.

we should try to encourage him not to do it instead of that.
For some people its a cry for help that they desperately need it and people wernt taking it seriously enough to help them.
Other people by saying that would actually do it to prove a point they actually are at the point of doing it (yea its a bit silly by suicide to prove a point, but sometimes people are really that far gone and a simple statement like that is the "push" they needed to do it)
We shouldnt take suicidal thoughts lightly as for someone to get that far in their thinking that its the only way out for them, shows how deep their problems are TO THEM and how clouded their judgement is.

Now for people who get suicidal of people leaving them such as a bf/gf, husband/ wife i honestly feel slightly compelled to slap sense into them as thinking "oh i cant live without them" well yes you can when they left you didnt drop down dead (which proves my point)
The only thing we cant live without is Allah !!
(Im not being harsh but speaking from experience on all sides)

[TheLostSoul]

Why do people always make threads about not wanting to live? If you don't want to live then go top yourself already and stop seeking attention. Just know that when you kill yourself you'll experience 1000x worse pain than you're in now. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, life's hard, get over it.

I get it, I shouldn't have said that but it was in a fit of panic and rage. I won't kill myself I know the punishment is a lot worse than what it is now. I get life is hard but when suffering this and being depressed it ain't easy. You know horrible it feels when such thoughts come to mind in my head and such doubts after all Allah has done for me do you think I can let such thoughts slide no of course not because it's horrible and I hate it. I am not here trying to make people feel sorry for me I honestly only want Allah and iman that's all I don't want to show off or anything but I wasn't in a good state of mind at the time. Like of course I don't want to go to hell either way but when you see your faith lowering and know the truth and know the end for people fail of course it will make me go crazy.

[EgyptPrincess]

we should try to encourage him not to do it instead of that.
For some people its a cry for help that they desperately need it and people wernt taking it seriously enough to help them.
Other people by saying that would actually do it to prove a point they actually are at the point of doing it (yea its a bit silly by suicide to prove a point, but sometimes people are really that far gone and a simple statement like that is the "push" they needed to do it)
We shouldnt take suicidal thoughts lightly as for someone to get that far in their thinking that its the only way out for them, shows how deep their problems are TO THEM and how clouded their judgement is.

Now for people who get suicidal of people leaving them such as a bf/gf, husband/ wife i honestly feel slightly compelled to slap sense into them as thinking "oh i cant live without them" well yes you can when they left you didnt drop down dead (which proves my point)
The only thing we cant live without is Allah !!
(Im not being harsh but speaking from experience on all sides)

Anyone that is truly suicidal will not make posts on forums... they'd just do it. Like when someone is on top of a building for 3 hours and eventually comes down. I think people who are suicidal just do it. Rather than the OP saying "I don't want to live anymore" he should be saying "my life is pretty crap at the moment, do you have any suggestions to make it better".

[EgyptPrincess]

I get it, I shouldn't have said that but it was in a fit of panic and rage. I won't kill myself I know the punishment is a lot worse than what it is now. I get life is hard but when suffering this and being depressed it ain't easy. You know horrible it feels when such thoughts come to mind in my head and such doubts after all Allah has done for me do you think I can let such thoughts slide no of course not because it's horrible and I hate it. I am not here trying to make people feel sorry for me I honestly only want Allah and iman that's all I don't want to show off or anything but I wasn't in a good state of mind at the time. Like of course I don't want to go to hell either way but when you see your faith lowering and know the truth and know the end for people fail of course it will make me go crazy.

So what is the cause of this distress? Do you no longer believe in Allah? You feel it inside yourself that you don't believe any more?

Are your thoughts becoming atheistic?

[muslimah_B]

Anyone that is truly suicidal will not make posts on forums... they'd just do it. Like when someone is on top of a building for 3 hours and eventually comes down. I think people who are suicidal just do it. Rather than the OP saying "I don't want to live anymore" he should be saying "my life is pretty crap at the moment, do you have any suggestions to make it better".

When your feeling suicidal, you obviously dont want to do it but you feel that it is the only way to stop the pain.. sometimes they reach out to stop themselves feeling this way as a last cry for help... but when they ask for help and someone says to them "if you wanna kill yourself just go do it" its the final push needed for them to do it. To them it means "well you know what i dont care about you, or your problems, if you wanna do it then do it like anybody cares, your worthless and you deserve to kill yourself"

You shouldnt be harsh or insensitive to these issues, as some people see this as their last bit of hope and just need reasurrance that it isnt that bad, things can get better and that someone actually does care about them, pushing somebody at complete rock bottom is never the way to go about things.

[TheLostSoul]

So what is the cause of this distress? Do you no longer believe in Allah? You feel it inside yourself that you don't believe any more?

Are your thoughts becoming atheistic?

Well yes I am having kufr thoughts and stuff but I still pray cause I know Allah is the one and only creator clearly I don't want to go to hell as I have stated numerous times within this thread.

[EgyptPrincess]

Well yes I am having kufr thoughts and stuff but I still pray cause I know Allah is the one and only creator clearly I don't want to go to hell as I have stated numerous times within this thread.

Explain these thoughts? Kufr thoughts is a broad term. Perhaps is people know exactly what type of thoughts you're having it might help to isolate what is causes them or possible solutions.

[TheLostSoul]

Explain these thoughts? Kufr thoughts is a broad term. Perhaps is people know exactly what type of thoughts you're having it might help to isolate what is causes them or possible solutions.

See it usually is rude or bad thoughts about Allah. It all started when I was having bad thoughts and called myself a failure non believer even though I wasn't and this was all the way at the beginning. Then it slowly turned into bad thoughts about the prophet then after some help the thoughts went and then they returned with doubts about Allah and rude thoughts about Allah and problem was that I was hanging out with the wrong crowd of people I have left them because they affected my iman however there are times where I feel happy and then low points like I have fallen into kufr and lost my Islam because of doubts even though I shouldn't be doubting Allah. However when I hear the Quran I tear up because I am nothing without Allah. Usually I get angry at myself and think why do I think like that!

[TheLostSoul]

I say the cause is because of sins I committed and I have given up on commiting such sins now

[TheLostSoul]

Anyways I'll be taking my leave and I'll come back with updates. My goal is to improve myself but I know it won't work instantly and it will take time but inshallah my iman will be fixed and become stronger than before.

[anatolian]

I am pretty sure I got rid of my Islam. I was just thinking about my Allah and then I started getting doubts and then purposefully thought kufr and now I want to die!

I don't want to live no more I killed my Islam because of my sins and now the kufr I have had! I don't know what to do I am super depressed and hurting myself because look at me I have had waswas and now I don't know if I made the the thought or not but I'm pretty sure it was me.

I always thought bad things and hypocritical things against my Islam I always said bad things when asking Allah to guide me towards Islam I think of the opposite. I want to be a Muslim I don't want to lose the one thing that made me happy. I just want to kill myself and I think I should cause now when I say good my heart feels empty and my heart is dead so why should I weep when it was all my fault I should just end it. I feel empty and it's all my fault

Salam bro. If you regret this means you still have iman and no need to fear of kufr. If you kill yourself your akhirah will be indeed not good. Just go to a Doctor. Everything will be fine.

[muslimah_B]

the fact you tear up at Quran is a beautiful sign, the perfect words of Allah are touching your heart, so keep listening to Quran, watch islamic lectures, do all these good things, do not let shaytan keep reminding you of your past, your past is the past keep it that way, turn your back on it, make jannah and pleasing Allah be your present and future,
yes its easier said than done, but do it slowly build up on these things slowly, come to love them and improve on it, there is always more every single one of us could be doing to improve ourselves.

like i said with the kufr thoughts listen to specific verses of the Quran, the oneness of Allah, Allahs power, Allah creating the sky, moon, sun , stars, it will bring you in awe of Allah and the endless capabilities of his infinite power.

maybe even try a nature walk or hike, these are good ways to just submerse yourself in the greatness of Allah and have tranquility, look at all the creations of Allah, all the trees, plants, animals, all from Allah

[Cpt.America]

Anyways I'll be taking my leave and I'll come back with updates. My goal is to improve myself but I know it won't work instantly and it will take time but inshallah my iman will be fixed and become stronger than before.

InshaaAllah, you got this man.

sometimes Imaan is lower than other times.
And sometimes we even hit rock bottom.
The important thing is that no matter how far you've gone,
your heart still holds love for Allah and Islam.
And no matter how hard Shaytaan has tried to work on you, your love for Allah is still winning this fight. You want to return to Him and correct yourself.

Remember in Surah Al-Hijr

[Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have put me in error, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all 15:39

Except, among them, Your chosen servants 15:40

[ Allah ] said, "This is a path [of return] to Me [that is] straight. 15:41

Indeed, My servants - no authority will you have over them, except those who follow you of the deviators 15:42

Until the dirt from the grave fills our bellies, you have every chance to turn back InshaaAllah.

InshaaAllab your Imaan WILL be fixed and stronger than before.
Ramadan is just around the corner!

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum feeling Lost,

I found this article recently, that I hope may help.

May God, the Gentle, Enfold you in His Care.


Talking about Suicide While Muslim

Written by Chelby Daigle Published in Opinions

At the upcoming Serenity Islamic Mental Health Conference this May, I will be sharing my personal experience with suicide. In recognition of Mental Health Week (May 2 to May 8), and being inspired by a recent Letter to the Editor, I have decided to share some reflections on why we need to make it easier to talk about suicide in our communities.

It is hard to find Muslims who feel safe enough to speak publicly about living with a mental illness. It is even harder to find Muslims who will go on the record stating that they have contemplated or attempted suicide. Because suicide is a major sin in Islam, as in most religious traditions.

The irony here is that most of the time when I see Muslim Canadians rally to do something about mental illness in our communities it is in the wake of a suicide, often of a young Muslim. So, we know for a fact that Muslims are committing suicide in our communities.

It is strange that we use the word “commit” when describing the act of suicide. That’s because attempting suicide used to be a criminal offence in Canada before 1972.

A sin and a crime-who is going to admit that they have done this?

So here it goes. I have attempted suicide both before and AFTER my conversion to Islam, and I have contemplated suicide so seriously in the last few years that I have had to go to the hospital emergency and be taken under long-term hospital care. Alhamduillah, I am still here and healing but my mental illness is a reality l live with on a daily basis. It is not something that can be “cured” but with proper supports it can be managed.

I have been speaking publicly about living with a mental illness, in my case chronic depression and anxiety, since my teens. I was officially diagnosed with a mental illness at 15 at the Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario (CHEO). My first well-paying job came from CHEO as I was hired to be part of a team of other CHEO teen patients to make a video about the teenage experience of living with mental illness which would be used to help train psychiatrists. I would eventually take the video to my high school and ask to present it in any class that would take it.

I had a certain bravado around speaking publicly about my illness from a young age. One reason for this was that I knew it was so important for me to speak out so other people knew they were not alone. But another reason was that, I was just not afraid of being judged or attacked or shunned because of my illness because nothing anyone could say or do to me would ever be worse than the things I said and did to myself.

And that is the reality for many of us who have gotten to the point of trying to take our own lives. We have become experts at self-loathing. No hater can beat us at hating on ourselves. No mean girl clique could more efficiently make us feel worthless than the bullies in our own minds.

And this reality of self-loathing is what we need to be very careful about when we talk about suicide. I am always fascinated by how talk of suicide raises anger in other people. “People who commit suicide are selfish. People who commit suicide are cowards.” Okay, do you really think saying things like that is going to make someone who feels so much self-loathing that they want to end their life NOT want to die?
The same goes for religious arguments that revolve around hell. “If you kill yourself, you are going to go to hell.” If you are full of self-loathing you probably wrote off the possibility of EVER being good enough to go to heaven. You might think you BELONG in hell.

When I am overwhelmed by a compulsion to end my life I don’t think about how bad a Muslim I would be to throw away Allah’s gift because I think that I am so worthless that I should no longer be taking up the food, water, and oxygen of other more deserving parts of Allah’s creation. I don’t fear the punishment of hellfire because I think that is what I deserve.

The “carrot and stick” logic we often use when trying to enforce religious rulings often doesn’t work when you are dealing with deeply suicidal people who have lost all hope. In my own experience, what has brought me back from the brink has not been the promise of reward or the fear of punishment. It has been connection, to my creator, to people, to pets, to a sense of purpose. As a community, the more we can help people feel connected, and the less we increase people’s self-loathing by dumping a bunch of shame on them, the more we will be able to offer support to those of us who are struggling with suicidal thoughts.
If asked, I will continue to speak publicly about living with mental illness and contemplating suicide; however, my hope is that more and more Muslims will come forward and feel supported enough by their families and safe enough in the community to share their stories because we need to learn from their experience, wisdom and insights if we are going to develop into a community that can prevent its members from taking their own lives.

My advice for those of you who are Muslim and are considering public speaking on your journey with mental illness is to make sure you have a support system in place so that you can cope with the number of other Muslims who will want to confide in you about their own struggles with mental illness or ask for referrals to counselling services, something which I am asked to do regularly since I started speaking openly about my illness. Frankly, we need support groups in our mosques and community centres so Muslims struggling with mental illness can connect with each other for mutual support.

Also, be prepared for the haters because they will come. For many years when I publicly spoke about mental illness to Sunni, Shia and Ismaili Muslim communities, I never had to deal with this problem, but since taking up the role of Muslim Link Editor in Chief, I guess being a more public community figure has changed how I am perceived by some people. I have received some pretty mean-spirited attacks when I have shared about my struggles. I have been accused of trying to get attention and of “showing off” my trauma. So again, have a strong support system so you can deal with this kind of backlash but know that the people attacking you are probably just in a lot of pain themselves. Don’t let them stop you from sharing your story. Your story is too powerful and can help too many people for you to let anyone silence you.

My message to Muslims coping with suicidal thoughts is that Allah created you for a reason even if you are not so sure what that is. We know it is to worship Allah but that can manifest itself in so many ways beyond the five pillars. I still am not really sure what my exact purpose is. What I do know is that because of my illness I have had to give up on many dreams around school, career, and family which, when I am not well, can feel like failures that rob me of any sense of hope for the future, but when I am doing well, I can see them more as opportunities to take less well-trodden paths in life.

Our lives may not turn out as we had hoped, but that doesn’t mean we cannot find things to be grateful for. Since my mother’s death I have had to cope with her loss, the loss of a job, and the loss of a friendship. On bad days, this is all I can see, this is all the illness lets me see.

But on better days, I can see what I still have and what I have gained- the ongoing support of so many awesome friends and community members, the continued opportunities to meet and connect with wonderful people and expand my understanding of the world, the strange new recent experience of finding myself crying for joy at a friend's wedding.

I look forward to the lessons about myself and the world that Allah keeps teaching me through the surprises and unpredictable moments of my life. This is where my hope comes from now.

I cannot promise you that life in this world, the dunya (the temporal world), will get any easier. But you are supposed to be here, so please stay.


http://muslimlink.ca/in-focus/opinions/talking-about-suicide-while-muslim

[crimsontide06]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bXbrJzhcP4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyszaM8sPjU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Yf3gQS_b-8

[sister herb]

Anyone that is truly suicidal will not make posts on forums... they'd just do it.

From my experiences of the pain of the fellow humans life - this is just what many people whose are truly suidical do. They seek help as they talk or write but it´s unfortunately quite common mistake to think that a person who really is in the danger to end his life, wouldn´t never talk about it.

[_E_3]

Why do people always make threads about not wanting to live? If you don't want to live then go top yourself already and stop seeking attention. Just know that when you kill yourself you'll experience 1000x worse pain than you're in now. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, life's hard, get over it.

ATTENTION SEEKING ??? so my step dad was attention seeking when he killed himself because he asked for help the times before he had tried to killed himself
we really have to stop saying its attention seeking mental health isnt attention seeking ,getting help or asking for help isn't attention seeking, self injury is not attention seeking
i must be Attention seeking posting in this forum as well

[drac16]

Faith goes up and down all the time. Rarely is it the same over long periods of time. You're going through a period of low faith, but that doesn't mean your faith will always be low.

[EgyptPrincess]

ATTENTION SEEKING ??? so my step dad was attention seeking when he killed himself because he asked for help the times before he had tried to killed himself
we really have to stop saying its attention seeking mental health isnt attention seeking ,getting help or asking for help isn't attention seeking, self injury is not attention seeking
i must be Attention seeking posting in this forum as well

Calm down sweetie, I apologise for my previous comment, it was perhaps somewhat insensitive. Suicide is for the weak minded though.

When the journey gets a little rough you don't just get off the train...

I would advise anyone who's feeling suicidal to seek professional help from a trained psychiatrist.

[s.ali123]

I did not read all the advises above they would definitely be beneficial. I would rather advise you on something of different nature. It may sound out of place, but what you really need is to increase your observation. We all in modern times need it. Wake up early for prayer, offer fajar with jam3a (if mosque is near) and then do not sleep. Go out and take walk and look at the sun and the sky, look at the beauty of the morning, observe the small details of the universe. Look at the beautiful design and then look at yourself. Look how beautifully designed your hands are, how marvelous humans are designed, think about your intellect; ponder why dogs, cats and animals not have self consciousness! Observe the universe. This is what all the Prophets have done before getting the Prophethood. The natural universe is so amazing that once you fall in love with it, then definitely you would appreciate and love the maker of all of it. I personally find observing the universe very beneficial in order to increase my imaan, especially the morning walk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oys9YpVk2rc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-jdyQEE1WA

[_E_3]

my step dad was ill when he killed himself people who are suicidal are ill
after my step dad died my mum told me he heard voices he might have been hearing voices before he killed himself if he retched out and asked for help he might still be here ,
its why its so important what is said to someone who suicidal will not make them hurt or kill themselves we arent not trained to deal with people who are suicidal
there are helplines in the uk and other countries what deal with this
Sometimes it helps people and sometimes it dont
and its heart breaking to lose anyone but through suicide is more heart breaking your left wondering if you could have done anything to help or what its something i did wrong that made him do it

Sorry for blowing up at you ( i have a bad temper ) its just made me angry

[EgyptPrincess]

my step dad was ill when he killed himself people who are suicidal are ill
after my step dad died my mum told me he heard voices he might have been hearing voices before he killed himself if he retched out and asked for help he might still be here ,
its why its so important what is said to someone who suicidal will not make them hurt or kill themselves we arent not trained to deal with people who are suicidal
there are helplines in the uk and other countries what deal with this
Sometimes it helps people and sometimes it dont
and its heart breaking to lose anyone but through suicide is more heart breaking your left wondering if you could have done anything to help or what its something i did wrong that made him do it

Sorry for blowing up at you ( i have a bad temper ) its just made me angry

I never understood what can make someone not want to live... I mean I understand why suicide bombers do what they do because they think they're getting a better life, maybe they are who knows. As for your average person, how can life be so unbearable that you want to end it? Perhaps if your whole family were killed or something then I might understand.

Being suicide is a serious thing of course but I do think if the person just goes to see a psychiatrist and tries to have a bit of optimism they'll stop feeling that way. It's kinda like depression... If you really just stop feeling sorry for yourself and pick yourself up, dust yourself off you can get back to living life. I think I a lot of being just want things fixed for them rather than taking the initiative to get up and fix themselves.

[Serinity]

Can't we be more understanding towards those who are suicidal and stop acting self-righteous. They seek help, and if we turn them away cold-heartedly, we might be accountable before Allah SWT.

Allah SWT sent us a suicidal person, now what we do is act self-righteous? yes, one will be in Jahannam, forever if one kills themselves. we therefore have to help them get out of that state. you don't be like to someone about to jump from a roof "go ahead, you will earn Jahannam, attention seeker!"

are you serious? attention seeking? far from it, if they really are suicidal, it isn't attention seeking it is a seeking out for help.

[Alpha Dude]

:sl:

The very fact that you feel bad, is actually a good thing. If you didn't feel anything, that's true trouble. Secondly, like mentioned above, even if you did something wrong, you can still seek Allah's forgiveness. Allah has made us in such a way that we are susceptible to sin and the shaytan is good at misleading people. It's only natural that we will make mistakes. Allah knows this and has provided us with a means out of this - by simply seeking his forgiveness.

Have fear of Allah but also have hope in his mercy.

Why do people always make threads about not wanting to live? If you don't want to live then go top yourself already and stop seeking attention. Just know that when you kill yourself you'll experience 1000x worse pain than you're in now. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, life's hard, get over it.

Anyone that is truly suicidal will not make posts on forums... they'd just do it. Like when someone is on top of a building for 3 hours and eventually comes down. I think people who are suicidal just do it. Rather than the OP saying "I don't want to live anymore" he should be saying "my life is pretty crap at the moment, do you have any suggestions to make it better".

Only a few weeks have past since you were annoyed at being at the receiving end of unduly harsh and judgmental posts. Please don't be an oppressor yourself.

[Serinity]

No, those who are suicidal won't just kill themselves, why? They still have the fear inside of them, the uncertainty, etc. No suicidal person just jumps off. It starts off slow, they seek for help, and it slowly goes over to killing oneself.

[s.ali123]

I think it has already been enough discussion over why someone suicidal would post for help. I think it is better to leave why he posted, and help the actual person.

[_E_3]

http://naseeha.org/
www.myh.org.uk
http://mentalhealth4muslims.com/

here is a few links that may help you lost
i dont know where you are living
i hope its ok to post these links

[EgyptPrincess]

Only a few weeks have past since you were annoyed at being at the receiving end of unduly harsh and judgmental posts. Please don't be an oppressor yourself.

I know... that is why I apologised.

[Cpt.America]

I never understood what can make someone not want to live... I mean I understand why suicide bombers do what they do because they think they're getting a better life, maybe they are who knows. As for your average person, how can life be so unbearable that you want to end it? Perhaps if your whole family were killed or something then I might understand.

Being suicide is a serious thing of course but I do think if the person just goes to see a psychiatrist and tries to have a bit of optimism they'll stop feeling that way. It's kinda like depression... If you really just stop feeling sorry for yourself and pick yourself up, dust yourself off you can get back to living life. I think I a lot of being just want things fixed for them rather than taking the initiative to get up and fix themselves.

That is ... really not how clinical depression works... at all

[muslimah_B]

That is ... really not how clinical depression works... at all

Exactly... These types of issues can only be understood by people who have gone through it maybe still struggling but not at the rock bottom they once use to be.
For those who havent been through it, this is where we will find harsh comments even judgemental observations.

I pray that Allah saves everyone from these types of trials and situations, as they are far harder to bare and deal with than most people are led to believe, you dont just snap your fingers and feel better

[EgyptPrincess]

That is ... really not how clinical depression works... at all

I've never experienced depression anything but isn't depression essentially just a lack of motivation and you're very sad all the time?

I don't really understand what makes someone depressed ^o)

[EgyptPrincess]

you dont just snap your fingers and feel better

So how does one get better then? Assuming someone who is depressed just lays in bed all day or doesn't want to do anything but at some point you just have to get up and start getting on with it right?

[muslimah_B]

So how does one get better then? Assuming someone who is depressed just lays in bed all day or doesn't want to do anything but at some point you just have to get up and start getting on with it right?

It takes time, it takes everything out of you to even believe it will get better

The process is not as easy as you make it out to be.
Do you think people want to be deppressed and feel sorry for themselves, not being able to do what they use to before and cant bare to go outside or do anything

Some suffer in silence others are more able to speak about it.
Many people with Deppression can border line ptsd and have anxiety wich links with very traumatic experiences they cannot deal with or are finding extremely difficult to deal with such as
loss of life
Abuse
Sexual abuse
Rape
Mental abuse
Traumatic experiences!

The fact you make it out like the person "just" does this shows you havent been in that situtation, so will never be able to comprehend what exactly it takes to do some of the most simple things in life that you (and everyone) else are able to do without batting a eyelid and im literally directing this to anyone else who thinks the same as you.
What you may think is easy, someone else could find it absolutely terrifying to deal with and not be able to cope, vise vera
We all deal with things different and how you or anyone else copes is not always the best way for another person

[EgyptPrincess]

It takes time, it takes everything out of you to even believe it will get better

The process is not as easy as you make it out to be.
Do you think people want to be deppressed and feel sorry for themselves, not being able to do what they use to before and cant bare to go outside or do anything

Some suffer in silence others are more able to speak about it.
Many people with Deppression can border line ptsd and have anxiety wich links with very traumatic experiences they cannot deal with or are finding extremely difficult to deal with such as
loss of life
Abuse
Sexual abuse
Rape
Mental abuse
Traumatic experiences!

The fact you make it out like the person "just" does this shows you havent been in that situtation, so will never be able to comprehend what exactly it takes to do some of the most simple things in life that you (and everyone) else are able to do without batting a eyelid and im literally directing this to anyone else who thinks the same as you.
What you may think is easy, someone else could find it absolutely terrifying to deal with and not be able to cope, vise vera
We all deal with things different and how you or anyone else copes is not always the best way for another person

Inshallah I never go through that. I know I'm putting it simpler than it is and I don't mean to use the word "just" like they have a choice in the matter but perhaps this is just because I don't understand what it feels like. When I'm feeling sad I go shopping haha. I know there are millions who suffer with depression so I guess until I experience it I'll never fully understand what they feel like.

My god I'd make a terrible counsellor lol

[muslimah_B]

Inshallah I never go through that. I know I'm putting it simpler than it is and I don't mean to use the word "just" like they have a choice in the matter but perhaps this is just because I don't understand what it feels like. When I'm feeling sad I go shopping haha. I know there are millions who suffer with depression so I guess until I experience it I'll never fully understand what they feel like.

My god I'd make a terrible counsellor lol

In sha Allah

Id wish no-one to go through it, as its a hard and painfull, sometimes lonely process.

Yea some people use shopping, as a means to replace what they lost in a kinda fulfilling way which fills a missing gap that never gets filled but "feels good"... oviously most people dont have the means to do that so, they have to stick with what they have and cope.

Yea you and a whole load of people wouldn't cut it at all LOL

When it comes to these situations we have to think carefully how we may come across to them, as we dont know what kind of state they are in
Some are virtually on the edge and a harsh comment can send them over the edge.
Some just need anybody to just listen to them and be kind and friendly and just help them
Isolating them further with harsh words, judgemental views and just plain coldness is a recipe for disaster, yes they need to hear the truth and reality but there is always a better time & way to say it when they are thinking better and more stable minded to realise these things.

[TheLostSoul]

Salaam
I have been following the advice and started reading and listening to lectures/Quran however I feel doubts and kufr still around my heart like I am about to fall into it or lose my Islam. Even though I say out of my mouth I don't want to and beg Allah. Is this trickery of the shaytan trying to think I want to lose my Islam?

[s.ali123]

Salaam
I have been following the advice and started reading and listening to lectures/Quran however I feel doubts and kufr still around my heart like I am about to fall into it or lose my Islam. Even though I say out of my mouth I don't want to and beg Allah. Is this trickery of the shaytan trying to think I want to lose my Islam?

Everyone has ups and down brother. Shaitaan is just portraying your doubts to be much greater than what they really are. Just continue reading Quran and ask the questions which bother you. Ask yourself which thing bothers you about Islamic concepts and clear those things. Don't get overwhelmed by just the "feeling" of being kafir, rather ask questions and clear your doubts :)

[muslimah_B]

Salaam
I have been following the advice and started reading and listening to lectures/Quran however I feel doubts and kufr still around my heart like I am about to fall into it or lose my Islam. Even though I say out of my mouth I don't want to and beg Allah. Is this trickery of the shaytan trying to think I want to lose my Islam?

It takes some time, it doesnt happen overnight, just fill your heart with everything islam. Keep doing what your doing mashAllah and slowly increase it everyday or however your able to and in sha Allah your heart will find ease.
If those thoughts come to you seek refuge in Allah from the shaytan as many times as you need to rid the thoughts from your head.

Yes brother is it definitely shaytan to make you doubt yourself to push you further from Allah and despair.
These are the tricks of shaytan
Keep firm on your belief of Allah, His endless power, His oneness, His mercy, His wrath

Just keep believing in yourself that your stronger than shaytan and he cannot take you away from Allah, keep telling yourself this and believe it, have firm conviction you are a slave of Allah and you only wish to please Allah NOT the shaytan as he is a clear enemy.

Trust me brother just keep up what your doing, slowly increase it and in sha Allah it will get better, but you have to believe and have firm conviction your heart belongs to Allah

[TheLostSoul]

Well I want full convictions and heart. But I have doubts that I shouldn't have lol. Long story short I have witnessed the truth of Allah multiple times things that 100% clearly shows Allah is real. But since the waswas my heart has been ignoring it for no reason. There is no reason for me to doubt but my heart is being illogical and stupid trying to make me fail however I say good things but I say it with doubt for some reason.

Back when I was younger I have witnessed an exorcism. I was right there and it was right there I saw the power of the Quran. I saw how strong it was and how it burned evil. I have had days when I ponder about the after life and how the fear of Allah hit me in my heart and I loved that feeling. But ever since the waswas started I damaged myself over time.

[TheLostSoul]

Quick question I was wondering when I say something out my mouth my mind thinks or something negative about Allah however I say the opposite by tongue. Am I sinful or am I forgiven for the kufr said in my head?

[Umm Abed]

Quick question I was wondering when I say something out my mouth my mind thinks or something negative about Allah however I say the opposite by tongue. Am I sinful or am I forgiven for the kufr said in my head?

Obviously you dont mean it.

Do dhikr whenever these words come to your mind.

Allah swt knows, He forgives.

[Serinity]

Dude, all mankind has done is benefiting from what Allah SWT has created. The new ideas, etc. are all inspired by what Allah SWT has created. Mankind has created nothing, all they have done is imitate what Allah SWT has created. Or have been inspired by what Allah SWT has created.

All mankind has done is destroy nature - a creation of Allah SWT. Nature is a perfect system created by Allah SWT but mankind destroys it. The new technology and ideas, and medicine is by inspiration of what is around us.

Which shows - we know nothing except for what Allah SWT has given us of knowledge - but the disbelievers keep falsifying, wandering in confusion.

[EgyptPrincess]

All mankind has done is destroy nature - a creation of Allah SWT. Nature is a perfect system created by Allah SWT but mankind destroys it. The new technology and ideas, and medicine is by inspiration of what is around us.

I thought you said everything is by the will of Allah though? So if we destroyed the planets environment it's because Allah willed it? Dude I still don't understand free will lol.

[Cpt.America]

I thought you said everything is by the will of Allah though? So if we destroyed the planets environment it's because Allah willed it? Dude I still don't understand free will lol.

Exactly.

Basically Allah has given us freedom to make decisions.
But truly WE cannot actually do anything.
Take for example lifting your finger to type.
When you want to lift your finger your can.
So to you it seems to you that you control your finger lifting.
However this is not so.
You want to lift your finger, and Allah allows that to happen.
The physiological processes for even the most basic neuromotor movements are insanely complex. I could go into detail about the process but this is not really the place for that.

Similarly if we want to destroy the planet, Allah fulfills our desire for that to happen.
Because for this short while we are given free reign to do what we like without any oversight or supervision.
Allah has told us and guided us as to what is right and wrong, and we are free to make decisions to follow right or wrong.

And ultimately we answer for our bad deeds and are rewarded for out good deeds at the end of the exam, on the day of judgement, when our deeds will be brought before us.


As as a very obtusely fitting but generalized example:
say you are a parent.
You have taught your child right from wrong.
And for a short time, say a brief moment you seem to not be watching, you've taken a step back. But of course left a controlled environment, but they don't know that.
The child is allowed to do as he/she wishes.
They think you are not watching, but you are the one allowing their decisions to happen.
After the time period you come back and reward them for doing good, or punish them fairly for committing wrong.

This dunya is our controlled environment.

[Serinity]

I thought you said everything is by the will of Allah though? So if we destroyed the planets environment it's because Allah willed it? Dude I still don't understand free will lol.

Yes, and it is true. Everything runs by the will of Allah SWT. It is essential to believe that - as it is part of Tawheed. None can harm us, except by what Allah SWT wills.
@Cpt.America explains it nicely.

Whatever happens, Allah SWT willed it, cause none can outwill Allah SWT. - It is part of Qadr.
Remember, Allah SWT knows everything, so what we will, Allah SWT willed.

May Allah SWT forgive me if wrong, but everything and everyone, whether Muslim or kafir, obeys Allah SWT's Universal will. But only the believers obey His SWT's Legislative will.

If a murderer killed children, Allah SWT willed it and decreed. Whatever Firawn did, Allah SWT willed it and decreed it.

BUT, one must not say "ok then, I can steal and blame Allah SWT" nope, cause Allah SWT gave you free will, so whatever you do, is attributed to you. you can not blame Allah SWT. Blaming Allah SWT shows one's misunderstanding of Qadr.

So in short

Whatever we do, Allah SWT willed. But that doesn't get attributed to Allah SWT. you can't say "I kill people, Allah SWT willed it, therefore Allah SWT did it" NO. Haram, and is kufr, cause Allah SWT does not command evil. one may disobey or obey Allah SWT's will. But none can disobey Allah SWT's Universal will.

May Allah SWT grant you and all of us understanding. Ameen.

[TheLostSoul]

Things are worse than before. I'm at the end of the line I am going insane with doubts and kufr thoughts that I never wanted and even when reading the Quran it's going and down. I'm getting super depressed why am I doubting Islam why can't my heart just open up. I have tears I am holding back but I have literally reached mentally insane status. I begged for guidance but my heart is evil.

[s.ali123]

Things are worse than before. I'm at the end of the line I am going insane with doubts and kufr thoughts that I never wanted and even when reading the Quran it's going and down.

I feel we can help better if you tell us explicitly about what the doubts are actually. Otherwise we can help only in general terms and motivate you, which will not be that much helpful :)

[TheLostSoul]

Like I doubt my creator and Islam in general even though I agree that the world hasn't been created at random and I say that Allah has created the world. Why do I doubt the existence? Why do I doubt the Quran when I know its truthful and has no contradictions?

[TheLostSoul]

Why do such evil exist and because my ignorance I am losing my islam. I don't want doubt why does evil exist why do i have to suffer the pain of hell when I don't want to?

[TheLostSoul]

These doubts are foolish yet I am being brought down to the ground and it doesn't seem to be improving. I am just losing it all I was destined to be a failure since birth then what was the point of me living? I want to improve

[s.ali123]

These doubts are foolish yet I am being brought down to the ground and it doesn't seem to be improving?

Look no doubt is foolish. Human mind is designed to ask questions. You are just letting yourself down by confusing the "questions" with "doubts". Asking and questioning does not show that you don't believe or does not have iman. It just tells that you are trying to explore the reality of things.

[TheLostSoul]

It's just I hate this. I hate this empty feeling it brings me to tear everytime I think of those day when my iman was great and my heart was open. I try to emulate it but my heart is just pure evil and I hate it! I have been asking for guidance I have been asking for my evil to be destroyed and for my ego to be removed.

[TheLostSoul]

Strangely enough after I said my problem on here my doubts went and it felt like weight has been lifted of my chest.... Which I also don't understand....

[s.ali123]

Why do such evil exist and because my ignorance I am losing my islam. I don't want doubt why does evil exist why do i have to suffer the pain of hell when I don't want to?

About the evil.... evil exist simply because goodness exist. If only you had goodness in the world then with what would you compare the goodness!

As for why Allah does not stop the evil or stop the oppressor when he is oppressing someone or something, well ask yourself, why does not Allah cut your tongue when you abuse someone, why doesn't he make you paralyse when you are walking down to listen to a music, or going to some bad place. Why doesn't he stop your heart when even a single doubt about him, or any bad word about him come to your mouth? Freedom of choice is not a small thing my brother, all these things I mentioned above involves the choice of a human being.
All the massacre in earth, and killing, and bloodshed, all of it is brought because we have choice to do it! That is why we are never told in Quran that this world is perfect. Rather each one of us will be judged according to choices we made, and according to the circumstances we were born.
No person bears the burden of another person! But this rule for the judgement day. In this world, we do bear the consequences of the choices our forefathers made. Even many of the struggle we are seeing in middle east is one way or another is result choices our forefathers made!
That's why Quran says that what the bad falls upon you is because of what your own hands brought.
This is how the universe is made. Even angels knew the result of freedom of choice. Thats why they asked why do you create a being which will cause corruption.
Angels don't have free choice, that's why they don't have evil in them. But humans do, thats why human are given rank above angels.
In jannah, there is no evil, because it is the reward of choices we make in this world, and is therefore perfect, because no more tribulation (choices) just the reward :)

[TheLostSoul]

I agree I brought this evil with my own hands [emoji20]. But I did wrong I agree with it but i just want this gone I just want Allah...but is my determination weak? Am I just a hypocrite? Is my heart sealed? Am I those who are astray I just don't know and I know Allah knows only. I just want to be good I admits my wrongs and my evil but im still being dragged down.

[TheLostSoul]

I'd rather kill myself than be a kafir or go to a different religion. My iman is dropping and if I fall into it then I will kill myself no question cause what is live without Islam and Allah well simple it's nothing it's just a life in hell

[s.ali123]

I agree I brought this evil with my own hands [emoji20]. But I did wrong I agree with it but i just want this gone I just want Allah...but is my determination weak? Am I just a hypocrite? Is my heart sealed? Am I those who are astray I just don't know and I know Allah knows only. I just want to be good I admits my wrongs and my evil but in still being dragged down.

You took it wrong what I said. I was explaining why there is evil in world. I did not mean anything what you did in past etc.
People told you before that the very fact you are feeling these things mean you are not hypocrite. A person whose heart is dead does not think the way you are thinking. They just don't care about evil or good.
No one of us is perfect, and neither we have any instrument to measure the iman. Even you, how do you know you are going down a wrong path? Or how do you know that your imaan is decreasing etc? Self doubt can also lead one to many evil itself!

[s.ali123]

I'd rather kill myself than be a kafir or go to a different religion. My iman is dropping and if I fall into it then I will kill myself no question cause what is live without Islam and Allah well simple it's nothing it's just a life in hell

Well if you cannot live without Allah and Islam, then you should learn more about it, and perfect your knowledge and religion. :)
Killing oneself is not a solution to this problem. All of us have one time or another boost of imaan, while other we go through phase of low imaan. This is normal, even companions used to go through it. They just stick to following Prophet even during those phases :)

[Cpt.America]

I'd rather kill myself than be a kafir or go to a different religion. My iman is dropping and if I fall into it then I will kill myself no question cause what is live without Islam and Allah well simple it's nothing it's just a life in hell

But my dearest brother you are NOT a kaafir.
I understand an existence without Islam is a pointless existence.
And you have a fear that you will come to this view that "Islam is incorrect, so everything is incorrect."
Please don't give up and keep faith in Allah.
This is a test and a trying time, that is all.
Allah has not forsaken you nor forgotten you.
Keep at it, and InshaaAllah you will see this test will come to pass.

Imaan dips bruh. It is an unfortunate truth.
You remind me of the time Hanzalah RA ran through the streets worried that he had turned munaafiq (beautiful story by the way)
Anyway Ramadan is around the corner InshaaAllah.
InshaaAllah we will use this month to revitalize our dying hearts.

I strongly suggest watching videos and interview by reverts.
Seeibg reasons why people had come to realize the Truth of Islam is a good boost to remind us InshaaAllah

[Umm Abed]

I'd rather kill myself than be a kafir or go to a different religion. My iman is dropping and if I fall into it then I will kill myself no question cause what is live without Islam and Allah well simple it's nothing it's just a life in hell

Brother please relax, everything is okay! You'r suffering from too much doubts and that's what the shaitan wants. The devil wants to see us agonizing over our thoughts that is caused by the devil, so dont give in.

You will be alright, by the mercy of Allah. Keep the tongue busy with dhikr of Allah.

[Serinity]

:salam:

Listen to this if you haven't already:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifllgTA2pmY

It speaks of why we suffer, why there is evil, why does Allah SWT let humans be so evil? why? etc.

I tell you what, Allah SWT gave us free will, Allah SWT gave us the ability to choose - choice. we can choose to be good and moral, to become the best of creation, or we can choose to do evil, and become worse than animals, despised and hated before Allah SWT.

btw, you focus TOO much on EVIL stuff. why is there evil? Why does Allah SWT let this evil happen? Man has been given free choice.

we can choose to be forgiving, merciful, understanding, kind, wise, knowledgable, etc. Or evil, merciless, unkind, harbringer of evil, etc.

whatever you do - know that Allah SWT created us to worship Him SWT, that includes Salah, but also being kind to the creation, etc.

We either become good or we stunt our growth.
Allah SWT already knows what you will do. But know that Allah SWT did NOT create you to TORTURE you. He SWT created you to worship Him SWT.

May Allah SWT forgive me if I said any wrong. Ameen.

And Allah SWT knows best.

[Samiun]

:sl: brother,

I have absolutely no idea what you're going through but,

I had the same thoughts

Same feelings, depression kicks in

Iman dropping and etc

But I held on to my faith, make Salah 5 time, wake up for the night Salah (Qiyam-ulail) and make dua consistently, Insha'Allah He will open doors for you. Greatest way is to have Gratitude to Allah, have Shukr towards Him, thank Him for the food that without it you will be hungry, thank Him for the water without it you will be thirsty, thank Him for the house that He gave you that shelters you from harm. These are Ni'mah(provisions) that we sometimes overlook but are crucial towards our survival as a human being. It just humbles us, it makes me shameful whenever I do a Sin when He had given me these blessings and also keep continuing giving it even if I repeatedly do such Sins. Just have gratitude, Insha'Allah you will be free from this undesirable feeling.

If you have money, go to an Islamic Bookstore and read 'Don't be Sad' by Dr Aid Al Qarni. Great book in dealing with anxiety, stress, depression and etc.

Soldier on bro!

[TheLostSoul]

I have realised my mistake. Nothing is going well because I'm going to far with over thinking and becoming depressed which is damaging me more and lowering my iman beyond rock bottom. So I want to be patient but how do I become patient? I am just a person who thinks way too much in general so I want to achieve something that I have never had before.

[Umm Malik]

It's just waswas because this the raison of you heating yourself when you think like this
You just need to keep saying Allah , allahu rabbi la ushriku bihi shay'an .. which means Allah Allah is my god and I don't associate with him any thing
and say Huwa alawalu WA lakhiru WA dahiru WA lbatinu WA huwa bikulli shay'in alim and don't think about that because Allah won't Panish you with what you think without accepting I meant when you think and fear Allah from that bad thinking
be calm and say LA ilaha illa anta subhank inni kuntu mina dalimin as you can and : rabbi inni massani durru wagon anta arhamu rahimin
may Allah help you .. this is a test for you .. don't lose your self

[Hopes N Prayers]

I have thought of committing suicide many times. I feel like I'm useless and don't deserve to live. I feel depressed. I cry my self to sleep. But I remember "with every hardship comes ease". This life is like a roller coaster. It has it's ups and downs twists and turns but just remember Allah will always be there to pick you right back up when you fall. Brother remember the closer you are to Allah the stronger your iman. The stronger your iman the harder the trails become. Hold on tight and have patience and inshallah You will be rewarded jannah in return. Allah counts every single tear you shed.

https://youtu.be/kNM7WoSPCPk

[TheLostSoul]

update..
Well a lot of things changed yesterday was pretty much the best day ever I felt sincerity in every word and felt no doubts coming from them. This made me realise that I shouldn't be panicking and should keep a calm and stable mind and further my knowledge since watching lectures I have gotten a better understanding on how to behave. Now I am getting doubts again but not frequently I just ignore them now. It feels great that Allah has saved me from my repeated sinning and if I continue I'll surely become a better Muslims than before where doubts and evil thoughts will not even harm me anymore.

[Serinity]

I don't want to die, but I have so many doubts, and I seem to project a view on Islam, that is not Islam.

Islam is peaceful, etc. But I view it as harsh, and a religion of war.

[TheLostSoul]

I don't want to die, but I have so many doubts, and I seem to project a view on Islam, that is not Islam.

Islam is peaceful, etc. But I view it as harsh, and a religion of war.

Islam was never a religion of war it's a religion of peace and from Allah however people are tying to ruin people's life by throwing all these evil words at our religion. Like I just seen a video on my YouTube feed that was something against Islam and saying it is false however I didn't pay attention and didn't watch it because it false information trying to but doubt into us. But I'll just say that keep calm and your views will change like inshallah it's just evil trying to ruin us. But we will be victorious and Allah will remove our doubts inshallah!

[Serinity]

Islam was never a religion of war it's a religion of peace and from Allah however people are tying to ruin people's life by throwing all these evil words at our religion. Like I just seen a video on my YouTube feed that was something against Islam and saying it is false however I didn't pay attention and didn't watch it because it false information trying to but doubt into us. But I'll just say that keep calm and your views will change like inshallah it's just evil trying to ruin us. But we will be victorious and Allah will remove our doubts inshallah!

I try, I feel despair tho. I think Allah SWT hates me.

And it is In shaa' Allah.

[TheLostSoul]

I try, I feel despair tho. I think Allah SWT hates me.

And it is In shaa' Allah.

I have the same problem and Allah doesn't hate you. I know despair sucks a lot it hurt a lot but we can do this. Healing takes a lot of time when you get damaged. It will just take some time and patience sometimes we have it sometimes we don't have patience but we just gotta wait and make dua and don't look at anything that might damage you more.

[TheLostSoul]

I feel like my panic is starting to come back. I felt so sincere and now I have been hit by a brick wall 17hours later. I really hate these doubts and kufr thoughts like my heart wants to activity go against Allah but I don't want that. Then when I say something my mind says the opposite or something negative repeatedly urgh. I hate these thoughts of mine

[Insignificant]

Removed by user

[TheLostSoul]

It's just I am worried. Like my head calls me a kafir but I am not and I just and I keep on thinking negativity and then I think I committed kufr. It feels like I have fallen back to square 1

[Insignificant]

....

[Umm Abed]

It's just I am worried. Like my head calls me a kafir but I am not and I just and I keep on thinking negativity and then I think I committed kufr. It feels like I have fallen back to square 1

Tell yourself that you are not going to let negativity have the upper hand. The bad thoughts are going in circles and its time to take a step back and say, 'no, this is just not on, its not going to let me down this time', you will be fine.

[Insignificant]

....

[Hamza Arshad]

Al-Bukhaari (5269) and Muslim (127) also narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, will forgive my ummah for whatever crosses their minds so long as they do not act upon it or speak of it.”

[TheLostSoul]

So my problem is when I say oh kufr is wrong and not right my mind says the opposite. Then I say I am a Muslim by mouth by my mind goes kafir after like these negative words have been repeated in my head way too much. I know atheism isn't real I know it is fake but the words keep repeating in my head and it annoys me greatly because my heart feels empty. Also I say things like I believe in Allah and my mind goes not see I don't even know if this is waswas or me and it is really stupid because these words have been affecting. So am I sinful?

[Umm Malik]

So my problem is when I say oh kufr is wrong and not right my mind says the opposite. Then I say I am a Muslim by mouth by my mind goes kafir after like these negative words have been repeated in my head way too much. I know atheism isn't real I know it is fake but the words keep repeating in my head and it annoys me greatly because my heart feels empty. Also I say things like I believe in Allah and my mind goes not see I don't even know if this is waswas or me and it is really stupid because these words have been affecting. So am I sinful?

I asked two Shaykh ( scholars ) about you .. both of them told me ..that's just a waswas he just need to keep avoid thinking of them and Allah won't impose blame upon you about that

[TheLostSoul]

I asked two Shaykh ( scholars ) about you .. both of them told me ..that's just a waswas he just need to keep avoid thinking of them and Allah won't impose blame upon you about that

Thank you [emoji24]

[Serinity]

I get constant waswass.....

Hang in there. Don't die, don't you want to meet us in Jannah? If Allah SWT wills that is. I hope I get there :(

Ask Allah SWT for martyrdom and you will die a martyr even in your bed, in shaa' Allah.

[M.I.A.]

Seriously if you have nothing to live for then live for someone else..

That sounds terribly motivational poster.. patronising to someone on the edge.

But I tell you.. if the world wanted you dead it would not be a hard task.

Here have something totally unislamic.. for a totally unironic intervention.


http://salvationarmynorth.org/2015/1...out-addiction/

Most people struggle most of the time.

...Maybe the Christians may jump all over this. So here's my edit.

Dear God, please remove my desires from me..

And let with strive in the protection of my family from the fires of hell

[Serinity]

your problems you can resolve, if you kill yourself you've moved to a greater problem and in Hell you will be, eternally. Afaik

[TheLostSoul]

I just thought kufr on purpose or said kufr on purpose I was just fixing myself after a break down and felt sincere in my words and my heart but now at Friday prayers I was about to utter kufr and said kufr in my mind multiple times. Now I am depressed and hurt I am considering just death i am just worried about afterwards as well WHY MUST I HAVE AN IGNORANT HEART WHY MUST I BE ON OF THE MUNAFIQS I SAY GOOD BUT I AM THE WORST. I probably cry fake tears because hypocrites cry to get attention. I am broken and in pain and want guidance but I am just too evil and too ignorant and have no heart. I just want help, help my Islam I want to be Allahs slave I want to go to paradise I don't want to fail [emoji20]

[~ Sabr ~]

You need to seriously calm down, and get on with daily life. You sound like you are having too much waswasa, ignore it, seriously.

[Serinity]

:salam:

Just live, and pray 5 times a day, ask Allah SWT to forgive you, and live.

you can't possibly keep up like this - please. you will collapse! just be normal, Allah SWT made Islam easy.. Just take it easy.. pray 5 times a day... give Zakat. And fast in ramadhan, be good to everyone you see.

you can't possibly live a normal life and keep on thinking of these waswass.
And that is it. Read Qur'an.

If you disobey Allah SWT, then just hope and ask for Allah SWT's forgiveness.

Just be HUMAN, you know these waswass are waswass.
And Allah SWT knows best.

[TheLostSoul]

My problem is I don't know if it is me or not. I have literally broken down my iman feels lost because now I am saying kufr 24/7 and this is the problem what is my status with Allah what am I to him a Muslim or a Muslim that fell into kufr. I tried combating the kufr thoughts all night but now they come to me like it is from me I said astagfrulah but I feel like I have truly failed Allah. My mind does agree though that Allah created this world so yeh. I know I sound annoying but this is my problem have I accepted kufr since they are coming frequently or am I still a Muslim I say I believe and I do my actions but it feels like I have been psychologically destroyed by evil and have lost my way.

Can I be forgiven because even if I have fallen into kufr I want to continue to pray and have hope because I do want to come back to Allah. I want to repent to Allah and have my iman back that's all

[MidnightRose]

My problem is I don't know if it is me or not. I have literally broken down my iman feels lost because now I am saying kufr 24/7 and this is the problem what is my status with Allah what am I to him a Muslim or a Muslim that fell into kufr. I tried combating the kufr thoughts all night but now they come to me like it is from me I said astagfrulah but I feel like I have truly failed Allah. My mind does agree though that Allah created this world so yeh. I know I sound annoying but this is my problem have I accepted kufr since they are coming frequently or am I still a Muslim I say I believe and I do my actions but it feels like I have been psychologically destroyed by evil and have lost my way.

Can I be forgiven because even if I have fallen into kufr I want to continue to pray and have hope because I do want to come back to Allah. I want to repent to Allah and have my iman back that's all

:sl:

You got some battle going on there inside of you. For what it's worth, I commend you for the fight you're putting up.

Don't ever worry about getting Allah's forgiveness. Check out the following thread. It'll tell you why in a bunch of different ways.

You will not regret clicking on the following link @ The Mercy of Allah

[al-Andalusi]

Obviously the fact that these thoughts are causing such distress in you is proof of your sincerity in faith. If you were truly a kafir, you would have no problem thinking thoughts such as the ones that you have.

[TheLostSoul]

I have 0 respect for myself I am just a low degenerate who disrespected his creator. People always saw me as a guy with a big smile and very talkative and happy. However now I always get reminded that I am just a failure who has no emotion anymore I don't smile or laugh anymore and don't even socialise. I guess you could call me a ghost lol but I won't give up cause I still have something redeemable and I could become a better Muslim who knows. Also this is just me venting out some frustration sorry

[TheLostSoul]

I don't think having this attitude will cure me. So I should act happy and positive instead of negativity.

[MidnightRose]

I don't think having this attitude will cure me. So I should act happy and positive instead of negativity.

Yes, be happy and stay positive. The Prophet :saws: is basically telling you that - in relation to your situation - in the following hadith.

Abu Hurairah (:ra:) said:

His (:saws:) companion came to him and said; "Messenger of Allah! We have thoughts which we cannot dare talk about and we do not like that we have them or talk about them." He (:saws:) said: "Have you experienced that?" They replied: "Yes." He (:saws:) said: "That is clear faith."

Source: Sunan Abu Dawud

[TheLostSoul]

Salaam and Ramadan Mubarak I have a question since it is Ramadan am I sinful for kufr thoughts and evil thoughts and doubts that come in my head repeatedly basically stuff that is already happening to me

[MidnightRose]

Salaam and Ramadan Mubarak I have a question since it is Ramadan am I sinful for kufr thoughts and evil thoughts and doubts that come in my head repeatedly basically stuff that is already happening to me

:wa: and Ramadan Mubarak to you as well. No, you are not sinful even though it's Ramadan.

[TheLostSoul]

:wa: and Ramadan Mubarak to you as well. No, you are not sinful even though it's Ramadan.

Though my thoughts were pretty bad and they still are. I mean seriously last night my mind was just think leave the religion and this repeated and I kept on saying astagfrulah but how could I think like that?! I mean the devil is locked up so what is wrong with me and these thoughts are continuing and evil words just come to me. This is supposed to be a time of peace and happiness yet I failed on day 1?! I really didn't want to start like this....

[Serinity]

Dude you are caught up in this, the big shayateen has been locked (afaik)

just fight! No suicide! I too still have hardship, but I realise I've been doing whispering on myself.... Or perhaps shaytaan has done it too much to the extent that he doesn't need to whisper to you.

May Allah SWT forgive us all for whatever hardship we go through. Ameen.

[TheLostSoul]

Dude you are caught up in this, the big shayateen has been locked (afaik)

just fight! No suicide! I too still have hardship, but I realise I've been doing whispering on myself.... Or perhaps shaytaan has done it too much to the extent that he doesn't need to whisper to you.

May Allah SWT forgive us all for whatever hardship we go through. Ameen.

What annoys me is the fact when I utter certain things certain specific replies come in my mind while I utter something good. Which is annoying I guess it shows the extent of how much I have been affected by this. I don't want to commit suicide at this point because I am still making dua even if they feel empty and fake. Also I self talk way too much! For example, I say did I believe Allah in the past my mind goes yeah do I think it is the truth and then it goes yeah and then I go do i believe in it now and I say of course I do but somewhere deep in my mind it goes the opposite and says not. This is basically my biggest issue because I really just wanna say good as a true Muslim and die with Islam but if I have been affected this much it worries me cause sometimes I say good but when moments like this happen I get pretty upset. So yeah that is a pretty specific post on what is happening to me currently.

[Umm Abed]

Though my thoughts were pretty bad and they still are. I mean seriously last night my mind was just think leave the religion and this repeated and I kept on saying astagfrulah but how could I think like that?! I mean the devil is locked up so what is wrong with me and these thoughts are continuing and evil words just come to me. This is supposed to be a time of peace and happiness yet I failed on day 1?! I really didn't want to start like this....

The shayateen may be locked up but know that the effects of them can still be on you as this waswasa is was really bad on you, to start off with. So these negative thoughts of leaving Islam (na'uthubillah! [may Allah protect us]) is just what the shaytan wants, so its time for you to relax and cut the tension out.

Whatever is within your power, you do it. Whatever is not - you'r not responsible for that.

[MidnightRose]

Though my thoughts were pretty bad and they still are. I mean seriously last night my mind was just think leave the religion and this repeated and I kept on saying astagfrulah but how could I think like that?! I mean the devil is locked up so what is wrong with me and these thoughts are continuing and evil words just come to me. This is supposed to be a time of peace and happiness yet I failed on day 1?! I really didn't want to start like this....

When you have those thoughts, think about the hadith I posted also. Think about the reply our beloved Prophet :saws: gave - "That is clear faith".

From what I understand, this situation of yours is a Mercy from Allah (hold on before you call me crazy).

While those thoughts were occurring you kept on saying Astaghfirullah. Do you realize the amount of reward you received while you were doing this? Would you have engaged in as much Istighfar - if any - if those thoughts hadn't come to mind?

From what I understand, your active remembrance of Allah has increased due to this. Your response to this situation is bringing you closer to Allah. Think about all this as well.

So, you haven't failed brother.

Don't worry about where these thoughts are coming from. Just respond to them with the remembrance of Allah, as you already have been doing, :ma:.

[TheLostSoul]

Thanks for the help I guess I should just calm down. I always get worried or panic because I call my self a kafir and say I follow that way in my mind even though truly don't and follow Islam I guess these thoughts were just that bad. I'll follow the advice and calm down at least I'm glad to know I am still Muslim and have faith

[TheLostSoul]

I guess the effects will take long to go. So I guess I'll just continue making dua and ask for forgiveness and guidance

[AbdurRahman.]

Brother, this is just waswasa from shaytan and you should ignore it ... just do tawba and go straight brother and do not intentionally think of anything blasphemeous or bad; even if you do, all you need to do is tawba and try hard not to think such things; keep your mind busy with zikr and other good thoughts

[TheLostSoul]

I will try because I am getting stupid doubts

[TheLostSoul]

I know it is pretty annoying for you guys to keep on telling me everything will be fine but this is the month of Ramadan and nothing is improving I still get these thoughts that deny Allah and accept evil and I even uttered kufr today. I make dua but I feel like I am just evil and it won't be accepted for evil people. I feel like a hypocrite I mean seriously who can think I think of you guys just saw what I think purposely or not you guys will be disgusted by my thoughts. I don't know what thoughts are mine and not mine. I keep on saying please remove my pride and evil. But now my eyes have become dry and feel dead. I don't know what I am doing wrong.

[TheLostSoul]

I shouldn't be depressed it won't help subhanalah. But this always happens my emotion switch like instantly.

[TheLostSoul]

I have a question if someone is cursed will they never be able to come back to Allah even if they want to? Will they just be misguided for the rest of their lives? I just seen some information saying that if one is cursed by Allah he won't be forgiven never and will be led astray..

[Cpt.America]

Bro you need to look into ruqya.

[TheLostSoul]

Bro you need to look into ruqya.

I did have it done on me

['abd al-hakeem]

Subhanallah what a challenge you are facing my beloved brother in Islam.

May Allah subhano wa Ta'ala grant you ease in your hardship. amin

May He grant you increased transparency to the solution of this challenge. amin

May He grant you increases in patience. amin

May He grant you the ability to differentiate between right and wrong. amin.

May He grant you the ability to acknowledge the opportunities in your life, and to strive only for the Right Path in all of them. Amin.

Ya Rabb - please grant these du'a, not only for this brother, but for all believers - wherever they are around the world - regardless of condition or faith. Amin.

[Umm Abed]

I have a question if someone is cursed will they never be able to come back to Allah even if they want to? Will they just be misguided for the rest of their lives? I just seen some information saying that if one is cursed by Allah he won't be forgiven never and will be led astray..

No brother, dont think like you'r cursed. Allah swt guides those who wants guidance. Be hopeful in it and in His mercy. It is always there. The information what you've seen about is for those people who willfully commit kufr and shirk with no intention to obey Allah swt, the warning is for them.
May Allah swt keep you guided onto the straight path ameen.

The thoughts that are troubling you so much, they are beyond your control. I think writing your worries and fears here will help you deal with it and eventually you will find peace of mind, insha'allah.

['abd al-hakeem]

Bro you need to look into ruqya.

Jazakallahu khair

['abd al-hakeem]

I will try because I am getting stupid doubts

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (ﷺ), from among the things he reports from his Lord (mighty and sublime be He), is that he said:


A servant [of Allah's] committed a sin and said: O Allah, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them.

Then he sinned again and said: O Lord, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them.

Then he sinned again and said: O Lord, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for sins. Do what you wish, for I have forgiven you. It was related by Muslim (also by al-Bukhari).


Hadith Qudsi

[Scimitar]

Yes shaytaan is locked up, but your Qareen is not (intimate companion).

Scimi

['abd al-hakeem]

Subhanallah what a challenge you are facing my beloved brother in Islam.

May Allah subhano wa Ta'ala grant you ease in your hardship. amin

May He grant you increased transparency to the solution of this challenge. amin

May He grant you increases in patience. amin

May He grant you the ability to differentiate between right and wrong. amin.

May He grant you the ability to acknowledge the opportunities in your life, and to strive only for the Right Path in all of them. Amin.

Ya Rabb - please grant these du'a, not only for this brother, but for all believers - wherever they are around the world - regardless of condition or faith. Amin.

:bump1:

[~ Sabr ~]

I have a question if someone is cursed will they never be able to come back to Allah even if they want to? Will they just be misguided for the rest of their lives? I just seen some information saying that if one is cursed by Allah he won't be forgiven never and will be led astray..

You need to get some mental help.

['abd al-hakeem]

You need to get some mental help.

Ouch

[TheLostSoul]

I would like to thank you guys for stick up for me for this long. This issue I have caused a really bad mental strain on me and caused me to lose sight of myself with all this panic. Though I will make sure just to continue making tawbah whenever such evil thoughts come. Anyways I have been putting things into practise this Ramadan. Not matter my thoughts I'll just continue praying and asking for help anyways with that I'll be coming back at the end of Ramadan with updates I guess. I would like my thread to help out others who come here and ask for help since it isn't easy to get a message across to someone in distress for example me lol. It takes a while for me usually to get the message. Anyways salaam enjoy your Ramadan.

[quietguy]

I am sorry this reply is so late. Don't give up. Inshallah things will get better. I know this is very hard to believe, but Allah has infinite Mercy, and He hears us.

[Imraan]

I would like to thank you guys for stick up for me for this long. This issue I have caused a really bad mental strain on me and caused me to lose sight of myself with all this panic. Though I will make sure just to continue making tawbah whenever such evil thoughts come. Anyways I have been putting things into practise this Ramadan. Not matter my thoughts I'll just continue praying and asking for help anyways with that I'll be coming back at the end of Ramadan with updates I guess. I would like my thread to help out others who come here and ask for help since it isn't easy to get a message across to someone in distress for example me lol. It takes a while for me usually to get the message. Anyways salaam enjoy your Ramadan.

Salaam, more than 3 years later since your last post............... how have you got on in life......? has it improved? what did you do? what can you share with all the other readers of this forum?