format_quote Originally Posted by
anonymous
Bismillah
UPDATE:
Assalamu-Alaikum
Thanks for the advice; unfortunately, I am still hanging on by a thread - and it keeps fraying. I love Islam, and I don't think I can stay on the straight and narrow. Please make duas for me generally to come closer to Allah this month and also for Allah to grant me a spouse that is going to help me on the path to Jannah because I'm afraid that it is becoming almost impossible for me now.
Thanks. Jazakumullahu khair.
Walaikumasalaam dear sister,
If you feel you are getting closer and closer to sin with each day then you MUST find a HALAAL way of addressing your interests insha Allah.
Look at what you have tried so far and the options you haven't considered yet.
Look at different ways of approaching the matter insha Allah and also adopt an open mind insha Allah.
Seek the advice of your elders and keep praying to Allah swt.
We all battle between good and evil every single day.
The more you think about temptations the more you are feeding your nafs so every time you start thinking about the sin force yourself to think about something else. What may work is 'punishing' yourself for thinking about the sin. For example, if you think about the 'sin' give money to charity, open the doors of communication with a family member you have stopped talking to, etc (do something that you may not like so it trains your mind that there are 'punihsments' in place if i think about this sin and insha Allah you'll stop thinking about it and focus your mind on something else). I use the word punishment but in reality your doing a good deed that you may not like. I hope you get the gist of my thinking here insha Allah.
I really can't stress how precious you emaan and modesty is. Don't give up jannah for your worldly desires. It just doesn't make any sense.
Please have a read of this e-book
https://www.kalamullah.com/Books/Appeal_Shame.pdf (Insha Allah it will put everything into perspective).
Dear Sister, Dear Mother, Dear Daughter. Everyone is looking for happiness and fun, and I am sure you are not excluded. Where is that happiness and fun though? And where and when do you want that happiness? Do you want happiness, do you want to have `fun' in this life at the expense of the hereafter? Or is it in the hereafter, when you meet Allah that you want to be happy?
Every where you go you shall find a swarm of people and media and culture swearing to you that happiness is the happiness of the Dunya. Is it really happiness though? On the day of Repayment, Allah shall take the most `happiest' kafir of the Dunya and dip him in Jahannam β Hellfire. Then he shall ask him, "Have you ever seen any happiness?" The Kafir will say, "Never!"
Nay, the happiness is only the happiness of the hereafter no matter what happens in this Dunya. Allah shall bring on the Day of Repayment the most tested human and dip him in Jannah β Paradise. He shall then ask him, "Have you ever seen sadness?" And that person shall say, "Never!"
And don't think that this happiness and fun is exclusive to the hereafter. It is very much tied to this life as well. Listen and understand the words of Allah:
Whoever works righteousness, whether male or female, while he (or she) is a true believer verily to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter). β Surah AnNahl (16/97)
Please see http://kalamullah.com/sisters01.html
Finally dear sister, i strongly recommend and urge you to take up physical exercise. It will clear your mind and make you stronger mentally and physically insha Allah. Do it every single day and if you don't already you will learn to love the sport insha Allah. Also if you don't already just before you open your fast plead with Allah swt to make you stronger. Beg for HIS mercy and forgiveness and ask HIM to remove this temptation Ameen.
May Allah swt help you hold firm to your emaan at all times Ameen.