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anonymous
05-27-2016, 09:02 PM
As salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

Ive grown up not really practising and recently ive started to practice and ive started to wear the hijab and abaya, now my family are pressing me to wear the niqab and I know I should try to strive for this but I really dislike covering my beauty. Without gloating I do think Im quite pretty and I like to show my face. I like men to see my beauty and to want after me. I know I should not be doing this but I enjoy the attention and Im finding it really hard to wear the niqab. I feel like I am cutting out a huge part of who I am by covering my face.

Sometimes I catch men looking at me and I just like how it makes me feel, it makes me feel pretty and I dont want to be ashamed of that. The thing is I know I should not be seeking this type of attention but I cant seem to help myself. Is covering my face absolutely required? There seems to be much debate about just covering your head.

I dont know how to stop wanting attention from males.
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ukmuslimah
05-27-2016, 09:55 PM
Wa alaykumsalaam wa rahmahtullahi wa barakahtuh,

Difference of opinion. Strongest opinion is that it is obligatory.

There's no compulsion, wear it if it's something you want to do and you beleive in. Unless of course your parents are asking you, then you should obey them.

Being flattered by male attention is understandable, but as you grow older you'll realise being objectified and valued/judged for your physical apperance isn't really a compliment. The men who look at you, see you as nothing more than eye candy. They might be looking at you and enjoying your beauty, but they're also looking at the girl next to you who is even more beautiful and the hundreds of other girls on the street. Allah has honoured women and raised them above being ranked for their beauty. Because just like men, we are more than just our physical components. If a man see's you as a interchangable unit of beauty, that's forgotten when something sparklier walks by, and cannot value you as a person, what kind of flattery is that?

The older I get and the more I learn, the more I value the niqab. Especially in this society. If you really understood the way men think and the way society treats and portrays women you would want to cover everything! Even your eyelashes, lol! Allah knows the nature of men and women and the differences, that's why He legislated Hijaab.
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BeTheChange
05-28-2016, 08:47 AM
Walaikumasalaam,

Your family want the best for you and what is better than jannah? That is our ultimate dream and aim and of course your parents and family would want to protect you from any harm that may come your way.

I would imagine you are still very young and you're still learning about the dunya that we live in so everything looks glamourous and exciting but the more you come closer to 'sin' the more you reveal it's ugly/dark side.

Love & respect yourself beyond the superficial like sis UKMuslimah has advised. There is a greater beauty beyond what meets the eyes and that is the beauty of emaan.

I also think you should understand your role as a Muslim woman and what it means to wear the hijaab and abaya. Whilst we may be protecting ourselves externally we also need to protect our heart and mind. If you take small steps Allah swt will take big steps towards you insha Allah so work on the 'small' things which will eventually change your mind set to not wanting attention from males. For example when you are walking and you see the opposite gender don't look unless you need to, keep your interaction at a minimum with the opposite gender, don't wear colourful hijaabs to attract attention etc. All these things will bring you closer to Allah swt insha Allah.

May Allah swt help us all treasure & guard our emaan Ameen.
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