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Bhabha
05-28-2016, 03:55 AM
I don't know what to do. I've never felt worthless until today, when my mom continued to whisper that I was worthless because I was Muslim... she continued to tell me why even study, why if I wear what I wear... I feel like I want to kill myself, how can she say these things to me? I haven't done anything to her, I help my parents out, work hard so I could provide for them in the future, and she says these things?
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eesa the kiwi
05-28-2016, 05:07 AM
Subhanallah sister don't take it to heart. Subhanallah if your mother could see the honor you'll be given on Qiyyamah inshaallah. Then she'd be super proud of you being Muslim
I had my own greif with family, mum even said she would rather I was a homosexual than a Muslim. Now alhamdulilah my family is ok with it because they have seen a huge change in me alhamdulilah

Actions speak louder than words. You are now the ambassador of Islam to your family so work on being the best Muslim you can be and inshaallah they will come to appreciate Islam for you
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Bhabha
05-28-2016, 05:42 AM
It's because they keep poking and poking and poking waiting to see if they can get something out of me. I'm stressed and they just can't wait to see me get angry and scream at me. [emoji24]
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sister herb
05-28-2016, 06:00 AM
Be patient sister. It takes time before people can accept the change when someone they have known a long time will become something different, like change the religion. I remember that it took almost 10 years before my mother was ready to accept my hijab. She didnĀ“t want to walk with me in public as she said she shamed how I looked like with hijab and then everybody stared at me (as she felt). I felt that hers reaction was more as uncertainty and confusion than dislike or hate. The reason for the bad words from your mom might be same.
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muslimah_B
05-28-2016, 11:24 AM
Sis sometimes your family will say the most horrible things and do the most horrible things (well i got beatan up and kicked out, i didnt speak to them for over a year, then my dad ended up in hospital and nearly died so i had no choice but to try which was a long hard struggle)
Theyre not muslim, they dont know anybetter (tell yourself that, i tell myself this everytime they do something stupid)
What people dont understand or what they fear, their automatic response is to judge, lash out, and insult (well unless you get people who are very open minded, who ask intelligent questions)

Family will always have something to say, i always get snide remarks about women being lesser than men, my niqab being a ski mask (lol), that my abayas/jilbabs look like tents or bin bags, honeslty sometimes you just have to laugh at them and try and find the funny side of it, if you get upset everytime they say something you will always be deppressed, when they say certain things you can use it as a opportunity to give dawah or set them straight, orrr if you want you can give a hilirious comeback for them (i know its not easy but you have to devolp a tough/thick skin in these situations or you will continue to feel like this, helping the shaytan to keep whispering to you, making you feel worse, to the point you turn away from your obligations as a muslim)
I know exactly how you feel, i got that from most members of my family, some wouldnt even talk or look at me, at my greatgrandmas funeral.
I had to develop a "i dont care what you say about me or my islam" attitude or i would have gone crazy and got into fights with everyone
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'Abd-al Latif
05-28-2016, 02:37 PM
Originally Posted by Bhabha
I don't know what to do. I've never felt worthless until today, when my mom continued to whisper that I was worthless because I was Muslim... she continued to tell me why even study, why if I wear what I wear... I feel like I want to kill myself, how can she say these things to me? I haven't done anything to her, I help my parents out, work hard so I could provide for them in the future, and she says these things?
:salamext:

Allah (:arabic5: ) puts people in tests and trails as a sign of His love and an indication that He wishes great things for you. A famous scholar by the name of Ibn Qayyim said "When Allah tests you it is never to destroy you. When He removes something in your possession it is (only) in order to empty your hands for an even greater gift!"

Are you a revert? If so then you must remind yourself that you've accepted Islam to seek the face of Allah because He is the absolute truth. You've accepted the call of the King of kings, the one who is Al-Hayy (The Ever Living), Al-Qayyoom (The Self-Existing One) the As-Samad (The one who satisfies all needs) and the One in who's hands is the entire dominion.

The person who is sincere to Allah in intentions and deeds and strives to seek His face is honoured by Him, no matter what the circumstance. You must recognise that this trial is from Allah and continue to be sincere to Allah so he can raise you in rank further inshaa'Allah. Perhaps Allah wishes to guide your mum through you if you are able to be patient and sincere in your manners as a Muslim. It could take days, months or years before she becomes Muslim but inshaa'Allah it will happen through you if you show patience and steadfastness.

Never, ever "despair of the mercy of Allah" (39:53) because the Prophet (:saws1:) said every affair of the believer is good!
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'Abd-al Latif
05-28-2016, 02:41 PM
:salamext:

Do not despair 1



Do not despair 2

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Bhabha
05-28-2016, 08:45 PM
Thank you all, I know I have to be more patient and Allah is giving me these tests. It's a good opportunity for me to increase my patience and for me to affirm my beliefs. Though it is so hard sometimes. :exhausted

I sometimes wonder when people say these comments. "Oh Muslim women are prevented from going to school" or "Oh Islam really makes women as inferior", but the reality is that people's perception of Muslim women is exactly that which they criticize in Islam, when Islam says nothing of that sort about women. I have felt the strength of me as a woman increase when I became Muslim, but when I hear these comments I want to snap at the people and tell them.. Aren't YOU the one limiting women? or at prime ministers and cabinet members who view Muslim women as victims, I want to snap at them and say to them, they are the ones pushing down women, it is not Islam, it is their assumption about what Islam does, that they themselves are acting on this and pushing down women, limiting them. :hmm::hmm::exhausted
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'Abd-al Latif
05-28-2016, 08:52 PM
Originally Posted by Bhabha
Thank you all, I know I have to be more patient and Allah is giving me these tests. It's a good opportunity for me to increase my patience and for me to affirm my beliefs. Though it is so hard sometimes. :exhausted

I sometimes wonder when people say these comments. "Oh Muslim women are prevented from going to school" or "Oh Islam really makes women as inferior", but the reality is that people's perception of Muslim women is exactly that which they criticize in Islam, when Islam says nothing of that sort about women. I have felt the strength of me as a woman increase when I became Muslim, but when I hear these comments I want to snap at the people and tell them.. Aren't YOU the one limiting women? or at prime ministers and cabinet members who view Muslim women as victims, I want to snap at them and say to them, they are the ones pushing down women, it is not Islam, it is their assumption about what Islam does, that they themselves are acting on this and pushing down women, limiting them. :hmm::hmm::exhausted
Fear and misconceptions have been created about Islam and Muslims around through the media. Unfortunately the problem is widespread but it just means there is more opportunity for us to build for our hereafter by being the example of a good Muslim.
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anatolian
05-28-2016, 10:27 PM
Salam sis. We need to analyze these things very well. We believe everything is from Allah. Maybe He is testing your faith in Islam. Maybe He says something to you.
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Arfa
05-29-2016, 08:59 AM
Ones patience counts at such times sis.Im sorry to hear your going through a tough time facing such criticism ,It's difficult when someone tries to demotivate you but just focusing on the one thing that you are on right path SubhanAllah will help you IA may Allah ease your ways Ameen.
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BeTheChange
05-29-2016, 12:28 PM
Asalamualykum dear sister,

When you are criticised (especially for doing something good) by the people that you love and look up to and in particular, your parents it hurts deeply.

Am sure you are not the first to experience this and sadly you won't be the last.

It is 100% a test of character and if you feel you are going to say something you may regret just walk out of the room. If you go for a walk the anger will be reduced insha Allah on both parties, you will have time to think with clarity and you will also be following a sunnah.

Don't let ANYONE not even your mum, sister, friends, people in general etc ever control your heart or mind. Be strong and consistent in your deeds insha Allah.

Continue doing good deeds and continue treating your mum with kindness even though this may be extremely difficult at times. Your reward is with Allah swt & Allah swt does not burden a soul with more than he/she can bear.

There are many beneficial and inspiring e-books on this site insha Allah: https://www.kalamullah.com/personality.html

May Allah swt strengthen your character in distress Ameen.
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