My mother who is muslim wants to move to SA and I'm scared

[Bellamy2002]

Hello everyone (assalam-alaykum) My mother converted from christianity to islam a few years ago when I was about 10 and i'm 14 now. She tried to get me into it but I dont really know what to believe and have been on and off of believing in god since my mother converted to islam. She is married now for 2 years to a muslim man and he wants us as a family to move to saudi arabia and im terrified. He is a great step father to me and really tries to take care of me and my mother but now they are talking about moving to saudi arabia cos that is where he will get a lot of work. I'm 14 and dont speak any arabic apart from basic greetings and a few words. I'm not a muslim but im not really a Christian either because i dont know what to believe really and i'm just really worried that if we do move there i'll not fit in and find it hard to make friends, i might be bullied or something. My step father has promised us that the place we will move to is a very nice area and there are other non saudi people living there and he will put me into an international school where the spoken language is english. I dont want to prevent my mother from being happy and since she converted to islam she has been very happy and with her husband and i dont want to be the person who stops her from the life she wants but at the same time i'm terrified of moving to such a different country to the one I live in now which is the uk. Will i be accepted there? Will i be frowned upon for my non belief / indecision in islam? I kinda believe it but another part of me is unsure. I'll have to learn the culture, the language and what is and isnt allowed and im just so scared lol. I might end of converting to islam too when i learn more about it but at the moment im really worried about moving to SA. Any advice? Thanks (shukran)

[Scimitar]

You will like it there, give it a go.

I understand your concerns as you are only 14 and having to leave everything you know... but, count yourself fortunate, not many people get to experience different cultures, traditions, enviroment etc - and Arabia is an ancient land full of so much history that you will find yourself quite taken aback by it.

Also, they love ice cream... they have the best ice cream, and I love ice cream.

You will be living in a community of ex-pats where people of many nations all live together, just like in western countries, your education will be in English and you will eventually pick Arabic, which will give you a greater insight into the language and the people who speak it, you will make new friends and discover the value of Arab hospitality and generosity, and MUCH MUCH more.

What the media tell us, is always the bad stuff - what they don't tell us, is the good stuff.... and there's plenty of good stuff.

Treat this experience as an adventure - you are a young soul, and one who is able to adapt... in fact I think you will adapt quicker than your mother will.

It's harder for older people to adapt, whereas you will find it quite interesting and you will be able to entertain new ideas and measure them against what you know - only to discover that new doesn't necessarily mean bad - it just means - different... and that also means - interesting.

I'm actually quite excited for you and would trade places with you if I was able to.

have fun, I know it's difficult having to accept change - but change is a beautiful thing once experienced.

smile a little bit, tell mom that you are apprehensive about the decision but also excited as you feel this is like an adventure - and it really is.

God bless you young man.

Timi Scar

[*charisma*]

Hey!! Guess what, I LIVE in KSA (Kingdom of Saudi Arabia). I've been here for a while and I've worked in international schools as well. There are many people here who speak English and I know it's a scary thought to think about moving, but people here are really nice and you'll fit in just fine. I think so many changes are happening all at once for you so it can be a bit overwhelming, so just try to take it all one step at a time and have trust in God that everything will be just fine. As long as you are being treated kindly by your stepfather and your mom is happy, then I can only imagine that they will not do anything unless it was for your benefit. THere are nonMuslims here too, so don't feel as if you will be treated badly for not being Muslim at the moment or believing in Islam. Saudis travel a lot and many nonMuslims work in KSA so they understand that not everyone is Muslim. But other than that, you will have a lot of fun and you will learn a lot about culture and religion. Inshallah (God willing) things will be more clear for you and you can join your mom in the same faith. If you have any questions about Islam, I suggest you ask your stepfather or mom about it..and you can also always ask us if things are unclear. :)

[Bellamy2002]

Thanks. So you think it will be ok for a person who isnt actually a muslim to live there and ill be able to fit in? What if people ask me about god or religion and i tell them im unsure or somethnig, wont they take offense to that? And with going out and stuff, is it like normal? So if i make friends we can just go out and do normal stuff or is it really strict? A few things i am worried about is fitting in and making friends, i hope people wont bully me or something just because i dont believe what they believe at the moment. And because of the culture i wont be able to get a girlfriend i dont think because its not allowed over there. We are going for a holiday there in a few months just so we can both experience what its like before we move so hopefully that will give me some better understand but im really nervous about what living there for good might be like. We will be moving to jeddah.

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[*charisma*]

Thanks. So you think it will be ok for a person who isnt actually a muslim to live there and ill be able to fit in? What if people ask me about god or religion and i tell them im unsure or somethnig, wont they take offense to that? And with going out and stuff, is it like normal? So if i make friends we can just go out and do normal stuff or is it really strict? A few things i am worried about is fitting in and making friends, i hope people wont bully me or something just because i dont believe what they believe at the moment. And because of the culture i wont be able to get a girlfriend i dont think because its not allowed over there. We are going for a holiday there in a few months just so we can both experience what its like before we move so hopefully that will give me some better understand but im really nervous about what living there for good might be like. We will be moving to jeddah.

Most likely they won't ask, but if they do and you tell them you're still thinking about it, they might actually try to be helpful and talk to you a bit about what Islam is. Jeddah is not as conservative as other places. It will definitely be more difficult to have a girlfriend in KSA, but if you're thinking about Islam I think you can hold off on that for a while until you figure everything out because in Islam girls and guys can't really "hang out" together so freely. We have to have boundaries with each other. Other than that though, you can hang out with your friends and go out as you please. No one will bother you about it.

[Bellamy2002]

Hmmm thank you charisma. At my international school it will be just boys? Are boys literally not allowed to hang out with girls or is it just not recommended? Maybe when I am living there I will be able to decide if islam is the religion for me and then I can just do a proper marriage thing if I want a relationship.

[Scimitar]

or... you could get in a moon buggy and go nuts in the sand dunes (I always wanted to do that) or maybe even go RC (radio controlled)



this looks so much funnnnn lol

[*charisma*]

Most international schools don't allow mixing after 1st grade. I'm guessing that might be one of the places you'll go to. However, I think there are some schools like the ones near the US consulate that are just like western schools and mixing is involved, but they are very few and I think difficult and expensive to get into because they're generally reserved for kids who's parents work with the US government or oil companies etc.. However I notice that even though with the segregation, there is still a lively society. For example guys still find a lot of cool ways to have fun. For example they'll rent out places called "istirahaat" to hang out, have ps4 or xbox tournaments, drink lots of coffee/tea, or they'll rent football fields, or go to games. Not to mention the food here is amazing. They also camp out or go to the dessert and build campfires. So they always find something to do. You'll find that they're quite sociable.

[Bellamy2002]

driving on the sand dunes looks cool :D Well i am going there for a holiday soon and that is when ill be able to see the schools, what its like and where ill be living. He said he would never suggest moving there unless he knew i would enjoy it and he never lied to me before about things so im going to trust him and just go for the holiday to see what its like :)