Uncertainty

[noraina]

Assalamu alaykum,

Okay this is really annoying me right now. I am just feeling so indecisive these days, I'm not what I want to do or what I should do. I keep on having this feeling as if I am at a crossroads with roads branching out on all sides and each one is a unknown as the next. I thought I had quite clear goals and ambitions but obviously I don't, or if I do have any there's no way to attain them.

It's actually quite tiring, I've never felt this way before but in the last few months this feeling has been building up, I'm quite surprised because I wouldn't think I'm the type of person to ever face this, but I am.

I don't know if this is just typical teenager angst, but I am just feeling so unsure and uncertain about the future and my place in it, and I'm not seeing anyway out of it or to make myself feel more secure. It is getting really frustrating now. Would you guys have any advice?

[greenhill]

This is the reality.

There is this old song (although there's a lot of debate about music :argue: ) it is called 'que sera sera' that will be wil be.

Welcome to the real world. It all seems so easy in wanting and dreaming. The nice house, cars etc . . Careers .. but in reality most are still paying off debts until a ripe old age.

You see, youth is often associated with energy and vibrance. Age is associated with wisdom. What one lacks in one, we usually make up on the other. Wisdom comes with learnt experiences and seeing the lessons and incorporated into way of being. Being patient. Again, another song, "..things will come to those who wait, but not for those who wait too late!" Meaning that you have to put in.

Now, about you and your future ... that's a different story. I don't know you. But from your posts, you seem a pretty level headed person and respectable. So I will give a general idea and hope it works helps you find your own solution. ;)

Give yourself 3 years to discover. Try different types of jobs for experience. Being in sales is probably the hardest.

Learn to budget and be disciplined with your pay. Don't forget the responsibilities..

Best is if you could find those flexihours type..

Better know now that you know nothing and be ready to learn than to think you know everything and crash. You have a lifetime ahead of you, of course it is daunting. Go for experience.

The fact that you are thinking is good already. Don't think too much to cause the doubts and put you down a slippery slope. Defeat before the journey has even begun. .. and after all the preparations..:facepalm: ;D


:peace:

[Arfa]

Dear Noraina,

It happens in life that sometimes we just become indecisive!If you are being bothered about making academic decisions or whatever maybe the case then know your not alone.Its a healthy sign that you are actually reflecting upon different decisions in life.The road is uncertain but we have to have choices in our hands and rest all in Allahs hands ofcourse.Try to follow a path that you feel will give you utmost satisfaction in life.Secondly,do try to involve your free time constructively . When we start to devote our time doing what we love ,path usually appears infront of us and we begin embracing uncertainty in life.The more life proceeds we Realize nothing is truly constant no matter how hard we plan it's all in Allahs hands.So take it easy and let go of doubts that might be keeping you perplexed.

[darullemon]

There are two ways to go about this. First Salath Al-Istekharah to decide on important life decisions or long term choices and things of sort. Second for something common or inconsequential do first thing that comes to mind.

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[noraina]

JazakAllah khayr for all your suggestions, it makes a lot of sense...I know I just need to go and do something rather than sit and worry, but I still feel a little anxious when I think about it.

Makes lots of dua for me,

[Scimitar]

Why must you have to make a choice? Why not just relax and let all that you've studied actually digest before you forget it all (as this does happen to students who think they are done and want to study something else?)

This uncertainty you are experiencing should be something you can work out due to your studies in psychology (was it?)

I'm no psychologist but I know all humans feel restless at times - and make bad decisions when they are like this because they have no clarity or direction.

If you are of unmarried - maybe that should be your next thing, get married in sha Allah, and your husband and yourself can start planning things together - it's always better to do things with people than to do things alone.

Scimi

[Hamza Asadullah]

Assalamu alaykum,

Okay this is really annoying me right now. I am just feeling so indecisive these days, I'm not what I want to do or what I should do. I keep on having this feeling as if I am at a crossroads with roads branching out on all sides and each one is a unknown as the next. I thought I had quite clear goals and ambitions but obviously I don't, or if I do have any there's no way to attain them.

It's actually quite tiring, I've never felt this way before but in the last few months this feeling has been building up, I'm quite surprised because I wouldn't think I'm the type of person to ever face this, but I am.

I don't know if this is just typical teenager angst, but I am just feeling so unsure and uncertain about the future and my place in it, and I'm not seeing anyway out of it or to make myself feel more secure. It is getting really frustrating now. Would you guys have any advice?

Asalaamu Alaikum,

It is quite normal at a young age that one feels such a way as one is still finding oneself. The best way to go about every decision is to judge whether the decision is what will please Allah and benefit one in this world and the next or whether it will anger or displease Allah and not benefit one in this world or the next. As long as one stays within the boundaries and limits set by Allah one is safe in whatever decision one makes.

Also if it is a difficult decision then make Salaatul Hajaat (prayer of need) and ask of Allah to help you with your decision. Then go with what your heart is inclined with as long as it is something that is permissable and pleasing to Allah and beneficial for you in this world and the next.

The future is uncertain and that is why we should always concentrate on and make the best of the present moment. We do not know if we have a future. Many of us may not see tomorrow let alone weeks, months or even years down the line. So the main thing is to "make the best of the present moment in doing everything that will please Allah and benefit you in this world and the next". Leave the future to Allah. We have our plans but he also has his. Our knowledge is limited and narrow where as his is all encompasing and limitless.

So do not worry about your future. Worry more about the present moment for that is what matters. The past is gone so we should learn from it but the future is not certain so we should also not concern ourselves with it. Therefore let our focus everyday be on the present moment.

[noraina]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

It is quite normal at a young age that one feels such a way as one is still finding oneself. The best way to go about every decision is to judge whether the decision is what will please Allah and benefit one in this world and the next or whether it will anger or displease Allah and not benefit one in this world or the next. As long as one stays within the boundaries and limits set by Allah one is safe in whatever decision one makes.

Also if it is a difficult decision then make Salaatul Hajaat (prayer of need) and ask of Allah to help you with your decision. Then go with what your heart is inclined with as long as it is something that is permissable and pleasing to Allah and beneficial for you in this world and the next.

The future is uncertain and that is why we should always concentrate on and make the best of the present moment. We do not know if we have a future. Many of us may not see tomorrow let alone weeks, months or even years down the line. So the main thing is to "make the best of the present moment in doing everything that will please Allah and benefit you in this world and the next". Leave the future to Allah. We have our plans but he also has his. Our knowledge is limited and narrow where as his is all encompasing and limitless.

So do not worry about your future. Worry more about the present moment for that is what matters. The past is gone so we should learn from it but the future is not certain so we should also not concern ourselves with it. Therefore let our focus everyday be on the present moment.

Wa alaykum assalam,

This is so true, the future is meant to be 'uncertain' for us, I think the problem is that I let this uncertainty to me - when actually as you said I should focus on today, and improve myself as a person and work for my goals step-by-step.

And it is so comforting to know that if you have trust in Allah swt (something I need to work on!) and hold onto His rope and do every action with the intention to please and worship Him, then there is no way you can slip, not matter what the future may hold, because His plans will always have good and benefit in them, I just need to realise that.

JazakAllah khayr,

And jazakAllah khayr to all my brothers and sisters for the gentle advice and reminders, it's really helped me a lot, alhamdulillah.

[strivingobserver98]

:sl:

Do you mind sharing what specific goals and ambitions, :ia: that should be better to understand.

[sister herb]

Salam alaykum

You know dear sister, kind of feelings aren´t only a teenager angst. We all may feel same during our life several times. The most important is to be honest to yourself. In your life, you have to choose the path you follow. You can follow only one and it´s called your path (or life). You have no guarantee if it´s the right one or does it make you happy in your life. We slip many times and find back to our own path. Be honest and trust to your steps.

I could say I too have thought similar questions like I did when I was younger. I look back and think did I choose the right, am I happy to things I have made. Maybe it´s the age thing for me. There were several things I could do in my past but when I think about them and think my life now, one question comes to my mind: would I be happier if I would chose other things than I did? I can´t blame my past as it has made me what I am today. And I like quite much the person who I am. So maybe I chose the right path long time ago.

Anyways, I wish you nice and interesting walking on your path. May it makes you a person you like the most: you yourself.

Plus, never forget you are not alone. May Allah guard all your steps. ;)

[noraina]

:sl:

Do you mind sharing what specific goals and ambitions, :ia: that should be better to understand.

Wa alaykum assalam,

I'd say writing, art, learning the deen, doing something worthwhile which will benefit not only myself but others etc - but because of personal reasons as well they seem quite difficult to reach.

I think I need to make istikhara, like I'm so unsure.

[noraina]

Salam alaykum

You know dear sister, kind of feelings aren´t only a teenager angst. We all may feel same during our life several times. The most important is to be honest to yourself. In your life, you have to choose the path you follow. You can follow only one and it´s called your path (or life). You have no guarantee if it´s the right one or does it make you happy in your life. We slip many times and find back to our own path. Be honest and trust to your steps.

I could say I too have thought similar questions like I did when I was younger. I look back and think did I choose the right, am I happy to things I have made. Maybe it´s the age thing for me. There were several things I could do in my past but when I think about them and think my life now, one question comes to my mind: would I be happier if I would chose other things than I did? I can´t blame my past as it has made me what I am today. And I like quite much the person who I am. So maybe I chose the right path long time ago.

Anyways, I wish you nice and interesting walking on your path. May it makes you a person you like the most: you yourself.

Plus, never forget you are not alone. May Allah guard all your steps.

Ameen to your duas

You are a lovely person sister herb, ma'sha'Allah, and yes being yourself is so important to be happy and achieve your full potential. InshaAllah I want to only do that which I'm passionate about, I don't want to have too many regrets about the choices I make now. :)

[sister herb]

but because of personal reasons as well they seem quite difficult to reach.

Everything is possible to you, if you try enough hard. And if you believe what you are doing.