format_quote Originally Posted by
mawahab007
Assalamualaikum Everyone. So I have been having a problem with a friend of mine of the opposite gender. We are very close to each other and trust each other a lot. But recently someone told her that her talking to me is haram. Due to which we stopped talking but it has been very inconvenient for both of us since we used to talk a lot and it's awkward for us to stop talking all of a sudden. I did some research and failed to find the answers to my questions after which I joined this forum. I read that Namehrams cannot talk without a specific reason or necessity since that leads to degradation or moral values and results in affection for the other person and hence results in a relationship. What I wanted to ask was that in our case we have known each other for almost 6 months. And our friendship is based on 100% halal thoughts. None of us is attracted towards each other and we thinks of ourselves as only friends and nothing more. We have only met twice at a community service meeting. My mother is well aware of our friendship and has allowed it since she trusts me and believes that we are nothing but friends and don't desire anything more from each other. We are not interested in each other and I think of her just like I think of my guy friends. Same is the case with her. Moreover she covers herself modestly and our conversations are always halal. So in this case would our friendship be considered haram? And according to Islam would our friendship be considered halal as long as we purely think of each other in a halal way? I wanted to remain friends with her but I was very concerned about what my religion wound say in this case.
Asalaamu Alaikum,
My dear brother shaythan is the biggest trickster and deciever. He tries to make interactions and friendships between the opposite sexes seem so "innocent". The two people involved supposedly are not attracted to one another and only talk about "modest" and "religious" things. But my brother let me tell you it is only a matter of time until shaythan pounces and you are in total lust for one another. This is because Allah created man and woman to be attracted to one another.
There is no such thing as "friendship" between a man and a woman. It is only a matter of time whilst the two involved are talking and they become involved with one another physically. Many may say "It will never happen". But my brother it has happened to the most pious of people - so who are we to say it will not happen? These things always start with innocent friendships and lead to more and more haraam. This is because when one talks to the opposite sex alone either face to face, text, phone, internet etc then shaythan is the third:
Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab, Messenger of Allaah {Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam} said: "Whenever a man is alone with a woman shaytan makes a third."
[Al-Tirmidhi 3118]
Therefore my brother there is no such thing as getting to know or talking to a non mahram alone. Even worse is when the "friendship" inevitably develops:
Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.” (al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer)
So my brother if you are her are serious and your parents are aware then please make arrangements to do nikah immediately. There is no such thing has "innocent friendships" with a non mahram. It is not in our nature and it will never be innocent. If you are not ready financially etc then you can still do the nikah until you are ready to live with each other. But if there is no way marriage is a possibility at the moment then you must abandon all contact with her until it is possible.
Many of these friendships lead to relationships and never get to marriage. So one will be involved in much sin and nothing comes of it leaving the two hurt and scarred. So beware my brother of the tricks of shaythan. Save yourself and your imaan and her from getting hurt and displeasing and angering Allah.
Make much Dua during these blessed days for you to get married immediately to fulfill half of your imaan.
If you need anything else please do not hesitate to ask.