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MIK
06-27-2016, 11:23 PM
Greetings,
I am a 22 year old currently living in Pakistan. Almost a year ago I got a chance to go to Malaysia for my studies. I cam back and decided to apple for Canada. It was my dream to go and attend University there but my parents did not want to send me to a foreign country. They had visited Malaysia before and they liked it so they sent me there as a test to see if i can live on my own. I had an amazing time and met a lot of friends. I faced alto of temptation but I persevered. I was never religious and I have sinned a lot in the past but when I came back and applied for my visa it got rejected. I made my peace with it and looked towards my religion and a university in my country. I became deeply religious and starting praying 5 times a day and i asked forgiveness from Allah (SWT) and suddenly my second application got accepted and I got my Visa. I have always been a VERY VERY strong individual and independent from the beginning but when i got my visa i experienced great anxiety. I began to become physically sick, I got panic attacks and I would just beg my parents not to let me go and i even prayed to God to guide me. I have never been this way not even once have I ever shown weakness to anyone. When i gathered up my courage and went there I became even more mentally sick with extreme anxiety and for the first time i was experiencing loneliness even among people. I would call my parents and beg them to call me back and in 12 days i came back. My family is really disturbed by my behavior and I myself do not know why I came back. The reason I wrote all that is because maybe someone can find some co relation or clue about this. I would really appreciate some guidance as to why this is happening to me especially when my deferred semester is starting in August and I am getting that similar feeling. Can i be guided to some hadeeth, dua or any guidance as to what is wrong with me and why I came back and what should I do when I am getting these panic attacks.
Thank You.
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Arfa
06-27-2016, 11:40 PM
Walikumassalam sister,


Im sorry to hear that , I know anxiety can be very upsetting specially chronic type which I guess you are going through.Sis know that no matter how strong or independent we think we are, there comes a time we have to break the iron towers surrounding us that hide our vulnerability and real nature.so facing anxiety is a normal part of life as any one can go through it.I remember my university exam and totally skipped breakfast due to anxiety as the tension and fear couldn't let me swallow one tinsy bite so yeah anxiety can be intimidating to your natural system.I was anxiety prone to the extent that my brain cells gave me that red flag sign when ever I was having lunch with a person I disliked and my breathing became shallow and I just tended to become anxious.So there can be so many situations in life where you can get anxious.Therefore, firstly determine cause of your anxiety.Am I happy with this decision ,moving abroad for studies? Am I scared of something some area I lack skills in be it social or academic? It would be easier to go from there ,also try to talk to your parents about how you feel and if that doesent help do istakhara for yourself. Hope you feel better.May Allah bless you sis:)
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MIK
06-27-2016, 11:50 PM
Thank you for your reply and yes that is EXACTLY the type of anxiety I was having but this has never happened to me before and it happened only when I became close to Allah (SWT) which confuses me more because I could face any problem before but without any problem, I am having panic attacks. I have tried to find out why I am feeling like this but I just keep on getting more questions and I thought of doing istakharah but I am scared that if I go I cant guarantee that I will stop experiencing this but if I dont then my parents will be disappointed it is literally a conundrum.imsad
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Eric H
06-28-2016, 06:12 AM
Greetings and peace be with you MIK; and welcome to the forum,

Never give up hope that Allah is behind us every step of the way. Don't ask, how big is my problem, ask, how big is my God?

Henry Ford said, whether you believe you can; or you believe you can't, you are probably right.

In other words, if you believe you can't face your next commitment, that makes your thoughts right, you are going to fail. All you have to do is BELIEVE YOU CAN. In your mind you probably know the next event in your life that is going to cause you anxiety, so now you start thinking about the steps needed to try and succeed. What you are going to wear, when you need to get ready, any other preparations, think of the hurdles you may face, and just think of your self walking out the door and going to face your next challenge head on.

When you walk out into the unknown, and face challenges you have never done before, you automatically earn the right to fail. No one can keep achieving every goal they set for themselves, all you can do is give it your best shot. However, afterwards, even if you fail, you can look back and honestly review what happened, how can I try again, what could I do differently, do I need more training, should I find another goal?

I am only 67, and two words I have come to appreciate in life are resilience and perseverance. Failure only becomes a failure when you give up.

In the spirit of never giving up hope,

Eric
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eesa the kiwi
06-28-2016, 09:04 AM
-The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:
“There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says:
‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka ibn ‘abdika ibn amatika naasyati bi yadika, maadhin fiyya hukmuka,
‘adlun fiyya qadhaa’uka. As’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu
fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilmil-ghaybi ‘indaka
an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’a qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’ huzni wa thihaab hammi
[O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave; my forelock is
in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just.
I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed
in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge
of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast,
and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety],’ but Allaah will take away his distress
and grief, and replace it with joy.” 27


He was asked: “O Messenger of Allaah, should we learn this?” He said: “Of course; everyone who hears it
should learn it.”
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Arfa
06-28-2016, 04:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you MIK; and welcome to the forum,

Never give up hope that Allah is behind us every step of the way. Don't ask, how big is my problem, ask, how big is my God?

Henry Ford said, whether you believe you can; or you believe you can't, you are probably right.

In other words, if you believe you can't face your next commitment, that makes your thoughts right, you are going to fail. All you have to do is BELIEVE YOU CAN. In your mind you probably know the next event in your life that is going to cause you anxiety, so now you start thinking about the steps needed to try and succeed. What you are going to wear, when you need to get ready, any other preparations, think of the hurdles you may face, and just think of your self walking out the door and going to face your next challenge head on.

When you walk out into the unknown, and face challenges you have never done before, you automatically earn the right to fail. No one can keep achieving every goal they set for themselves, all you can do is give it your best shot. However, afterwards, even if you fail, you can look back and honestly review what happened, how can I try again, what could I do differently, do I need more training, should I find another goal?

I am only 67, and two words I have come to appreciate in life are resilience and perseverance. Failure only becomes a failure when you give up.




In the spirit of never giving up hope,







Eric

@mr Eric you have shared gems of wisdom in the saying about resilliance and preservance,as I've approached life more deeply or should I state started to reflect a little bit on my actions and reactions iv come to know how important it is to bounce back from set backs.In my teens and later I just thought that life would always remain all good or bad for some people and it took me ages to come to normal ruitine after a minor disappointment.Iv know
through different situations that it depends how strong a person is in their belief system,their values and faith
will the person overcome an obstacle quickly.So in other words it's important to have a thick skin ,a kind of emotional resilliance to bounce back and continue doing what you are aiming for no matter how terrible the circumstances are,and how little encouragement you are receiving because first you have to be your own cheerleader:)....
thankyou for the wisdom shared.
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MIK
06-28-2016, 08:32 PM
Thank You everyone I honestly feel a lot better. I have spoken to many people but only these words have given me solace more than any.
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Arfa
06-28-2016, 10:14 PM
JazakaAllah sis . :) May Allah bless you.
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