:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)
@MisterK
Hey, hope you're doing well, and like I'd told you, I will update this thread; and I now have. Best wishes for everything!
There was a dream which I'd seen some time ago before this journey started of me learning Islam, and at the time I didn't know what it meant. I saw myself in prostration with a bright white blinding light directly coming overhead from the roof. Islamically, that means guidance. I just didn't know at the time though what it meant - so, it was meaningless to me, but I wanted to let you know this in case you have seen or might see dreams that are of significance Islamically.
Islamically, dreams are considered of three types: 1) from the
nafs (ego) and therefore meaningless, 2)
shaitaan (satan), and 3) from Allah. If your heart is pleased with a dream, then it's from God. However, if your heart is displeased, then it's probably from
shaitaan or
nafs. Prophet :saws:
(peace and blessings be upon him) said in the context of dreams being true during the Last Days, “That will be because the Prophethood and its effects will be so far away in time, so the believers will be given some compensation in the form of dreams which will bring them some good news or will help them to be patient and steadfast in their faith.”
Anyway, back to the topic of how I came to believe the unseen per Islam: Well, like I told you, I was an atheist, then described myself as spiritual even though I was still an atheist because of yoga and my project on witchcraft, and then my journey continued onward about learning Islam after I'd taken time off instead of going directly to law schools. Okay, we all have things in our life that haven't made much sense. Well, those things that had never made sense to me about my life prior to this made sense to me in light of Islam and what I'd been learning from Islam. I'd actually watched a lot of videos about Islam during that time and also contemplated a lot on certain
ayats (verses) of Quran for actually hours at a time. I loved and learned so much about Islam from YouTube videos to other materials and articles online to the point that I'd started kind of believing in Islam, but like I'd told you, I didn't want to live a life of Islam.
For some reason, during this time, I came across the
99 names of Allah to which I'm linking you and in Arabic I recited the 99 names and then repeated some and I felt my whole body vibrating. I'd never experienced anything like it. To me, experiencing myself the vibration through recitation of 99 names of Allah further opened my mind to Islam, because I have never experienced this kind of vibration otherwise.
Also, during this time, since I've already spoke to you of my interest in witchcraft/black magic, I'd also found a video of a Satanist who'd repented from his Satanism. In a 9-hour long video in which he was interviewed, he spoke many things which were spooky, but what really interested me is the connectivity I could see with
sihr (witchcraft) as described in Islam being a reality as well as during this time, I'd somehow also become interested in finding out if I had ever been the object of
sihr or
jinn. Somehow, I wound up through my study on this Forum called
Ruqya Shariah Forum in which I learned specifically of how to cure oneself of
sihr or
jinn. Two books that I'd recommend to you on this subject which I'm attaching as a PDF are
Jinn and Human Sickness and
Sword Against Black Magic and Evil Magicians. So, I started reciting some of the recommended Quran
ayats (verses) and
Sunnah (prophetic) duas (supplications) as per Islam and you can imagine my surprise when I started having dreams indicating that I had long ago without my knowledge been a target of
sihr and through my recitation was destroying
sihr. As you can imagine, this not only freaked me out but I started really accepting the unseen as per Islam. More importantly, I distinctly remember the incident of a
raqi (Islamic healer) saying that if there was a triangle-type spot on the body that the specific remedy required a specific recitation, and I did that recitation and saw before my very own eyes that triangle-type spot moving on my arm and then shrinking and changing its shape! I was seriously gobsmacked. Not only that, I began to "see" things like "energy parasites" in the form of spiders, things.
Then, alongside this happening, I'd also due to earlier having been troubled by the concept of unseen and
sihr, I'd been experiencing a bit of insomnia and I'd read an article about how this person who was a chain-smoker couldn't quit smoking despite having tried various methods and in the end he hit upon the remedy of playing the Quran at night when sleeping with the intention that he'd cure himself of smoking and he'd become successful in then quitting the bad habit. I'd then thought if I could maybe get myself to be cured of this bit of insomnia, I'd be more relaxed and so I started playing the Quran at night too and been sleeping more peacefully. If you want to try something similar with whatever intention, you could try playing some audios at a low volume through the night too from this site as it has the same reciter to whom I'd listened known as Fares Abbad:
Quran Audio.
Also, during this time, I'd also really started experiencing a love of God, not seeing God as an angry being or one looking to punish but as Being that is both merciful and just. This love had been increasing all along that I'd been learning about Islam and with watching so many YouTube videos on Islam until it finally culminated to the point where I'd as you know asked a theist about God and been told to think of God as a Power with power over all. The things I'd fought inside of myself such as wondering if I could ever discipline myself enough to read
salat (prayer) and the like seemed so small now and manageable not because I was suddenly someone who could discipline myself but because I truly somewhere started believing that I could accomplish anything with the power and help of Allah and I was starting to become more humbled. More importantly, what I didn't realize (but I now realize) is that love can accomplish what fear or some other things can't. When I didn't love God, I couldn't accept anything that would ask me to discipline myself but nothing seemed to matter - rules or whatever - when I did start loving God because I actually wanted to submit. After realizing that love and humility in my heart, I made the sincere
dua (supplication) (and this was during Ramadan which I now realize was the 27th Ramadan considered to be the Night of Power) for guidance from God. I made the
dua (supplication) for guidance and for God to make the religion easy for me because I now believed in it as the Truth from God and therefore asked to make praying
salat (prayer) easy for me as (at that moment in time) that was the thing that was concerning for me as I honestly didn't think I would be able to do so 5 times a day.
Alhamdhullilah (thanks, praise, and credit to God), my
dua (supplications) was accepted because despite the many flaws I have as a person and as a Muslim,
salat (prayer) is one thing that God has made extremely easy for me despite me being generally still an undisciplined person in other areas of my life.
Like I'd told you, I'm not an especially modest person. I have read stories of how some females were modest and therefore attracted to Islam. Honestly, this part was a challenge for me, and though I'd started dressing modestly, I don't think I wore the
hijab until three(?) years after my heart had submitted to Islam.
Also, in regards to the unseen, I have to tell you that I no longer have trouble with it because primarily of my experience with unseen. Through the practice of Quran and
Sunnah (prophetic footsteps) and
duas (supplications), my heart's inner eye known as
basira in Arabic is relatively open though not as open as a person who probably is more conversant with all of the aforesaid more than I am and I still am getting a handle on things and Islamic meditation helps.
If you want your
basira (inner eye) open, I think you should do so with the intention of meeting Prophet Muhammad :saws:
(peace and blessings be upon him) in either a dream or open vision that you can trust by reading this
salawat/durood (blessings upon the prophet) which when I'd once read as a Muslim had led me to see a movie-like dream that had completely shocked me and had come true. The particular
salawat/durood that I'm speaking of is known as Durood Fatih which in transliteration (which is a life-saver for persons like me who do not know Arabic) is:
Allahumma salli ' wa sallim was baarik ala Sayyidina Muhammadil nil-fatihi lima Ughliqa wal khatimi lima sabaqa wan-naa-siril-haqqi bil-haqqi wal-hadi ila Sirati-kal-mustaqima sal-lal-lahu 'alayhi wa 'ala alihi wa-ashaabihi haqqa qadrihi wa-miq-da rihil-'azim. The translation of the
Durood Fatih is: "O God bless our Master Muhammad (pbuh) who opened what had been closed, and who is the Seal of what had gone before, he who makes the Truth Victorious by the Truth, the guide to thy straight path, and bless his household as is the due of his immense position and grandeur." And I think you should read it 11 times before sleeping at night with the intention that God enables a meeting to happen between you and Prophet Muhammad :saws:
(peace and blessings be upon him) and if that meeting happens, in the dream, you should probably ask for your heart to become firm upon the Truth, for him
(peace and blessings to be upon you) to pray for your welfare in
dunya (world) and
aakhirah (hereafter) and for you to be blessed with a wonderful spouse and partner to enjoy the blessings of both d
unya (hereafter) and
aakhirah (hereafter), and to enable you to drink from the
Kausar river in Paradise.
And in case you're wondering, yes, I have seen Prophet Muhammad :saws:
(peace and blessings be upon him) in my dreams. And Prophet :saws:
(peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Whoever has seen me in a dream, then no doubt, he has seen me, for Satan cannot imitate my shape."
Now, unfortunately, one of the things that I'm really waiting for -
lol :P- is the one about marriage coming true as that still hasn't happened, and it is one of my greatest wishes to have that come true. I also trust God that whatever happens will be for the best (and I'm gonna be okay whether I'm a single or a married person), but obviously, I want to enjoy the blessing and coolness of married life and children.
Also, in the meantime, I want you to know something about faith as per Islam; to be honest, I think faith is a muscle that has to be exercised just any like any other muscle if you want it to strengthen. I say this because I remember trying to talk to God during my journey in which I hadn't yet submitted to Islam but was coming closer and closer to Islam, and I felt so weird. I felt off and out of place and like I was a village idiot, because like I'd told you back then I still had problems accepting the unseen and to be honest I hadn't prayed for so long that I forgot what it was supposed to be like. So, that was very strange for myself, but as I started believing in Islam, it became easier and easier until it felt as natural as breathing to me when I embraced Islam from my heart.
Now, I'm not a perfect Muslim, and though I wish I was, I try to remember the directive of Prophet :saws: from a larger
hadith (prophetic tradition: "Do the best you can." And yes, I try, and I'm sure I fall short, but I think that's okay because I know Allah knows I'm trying.
I'd also ask you to watch these videos first after you've read my post because hopefully they'll open your heart to Islam further just as they did mine:
Top American Surgeon Embraced Islam
Divine Prologue 1
Divine Prologue 2
Finally, when you're open to Islam and have tried and tested some of the above stuff, keep us updated and let us know how you're progressing. And of course, all success is with God. By the way, if/when you do embrace Islam, I ask you to please also pray for your family's hearts to be opened to submission to God and for them to be guided as well and for them to be a positive force and influence in your life and to pray for anything that concerns you about your life presently like a job or marital partner or whatever and to also pray for all believers to be protected against all evil and harm.
Also, if you're wondering what the purpose of Islam is, well...Prophet Muhammad :saws: himself said, “I have been sent to perfect noble character.” That was the mission of Islam, to enable our characters to be perfected so we can be in perfection just as our souls were in Heaven, to be in submission to God and in harmony with all.
I apologize again if this is a very long post, and if you have follow-up questions, you can PM me or we can continue our conversation here depending on your comfort level.
Wishing you awesomeness and happiness as you continue to learn,