Tired of Judgements

[anonymous]

Hi everyone,

In today's society it has become the norm for parents to want to raise or aspire to raise perfect daughters and perfect sons.I find this parenting very demanding and faulty. One reason could be because I myself am a product of such parenting. I always found my parents to be very self centred with regard to my needs. Wherever I failed in life, they forgot my very existence and blamed me for it. I was always made to feel like an utter failure, worthless and faulty person. At this point in my life, I'm just plain tired of their judgements hurled at me, hard as it is for me to ignore them, I just can not seem to not take it personally. I feel very upset when my mother starts judging me for my lack of finding a good match till now. As all my cousins and friends are accomplished in martial life, she blames me for not being worthy of marriage. My father never tries to acknowledge my efforts at home and totally ignores and undermines me. I have started to ignore his rude behaviour towards me as it causes me more pain. What is really hurting is my moms attitude as I just expected from her selfless love ...., Why can't she see my efforts at prayers? Why can't she feel my sense of lonliness and isolation when she too blocks me and judges me? Why is she blind to my constant efforts to improving myself as a person?? I seriously plan to move out of my parents house as the environment over there is very critical and demeaning. I want to feel a sense of encouragement that all will be well in my world but their constant lack of understanding keeps me immobilised for any future recovery. I'm on the verge of tears.... I can't write my feelings down, it's all so overwhelming this pain and lonliness. What should I do? Please give me advice??

[Asara]

Trust me i been there you fight for the lovin from them, they not raisd with that mind only money in that chance life, befor u grown enough of it all u will go, remember the best thing can happen by let go of the closses, u can see them but keep you distance thats they way you stand strongest with your faith who u are what u be you strongest by you own, respect them forever,

Stay strong so much waitin for ore life, trust me work you self at the time know u now u mamma pappa let them be, find patience in you have faith before you know the game chance

[greenhill]

It is tough. Being a parent these days as well as being the children growing up. The world is fast changing and things of yesteryears are deemed no longer good enough makes it difficult.

Your parents did not raise you to hate you. Not knowing much about the background, the other contributory factors and cultural norms makes it hard to comment ...

Might be time to start a period of your life to re engage them and talk about how to proceed from here onwards.. you havd cited the main problems, list it down for them, and ask what can be done? What you could do etc.. what their input etc.. let us move away from blaming and judgememts. As a family we should be supportive and not the other way..


:peace:

[anonymous]

I wish it was simpler than that! One day you could tell your parents to stop blame game and judgements and it all ends.imsad It is not so, why do people judge in the first place?tbh I don't really care to ponder deeply about judgemental creeps who don't give a hoot about me.Yes, I do care when someone close to me judges me, that really bothers me.I guess folks do it to feel less guilty and safe and small. Thanks for reply though.