If Your Husband Hits You On The Head....

[hisnameiszzz]

Then you phone the Police. If you feel your life is in danger, phone 999 straight away. If it's just a slap or a punch, phone the non emergency line.

Also, use Google and look for a Domestic Violence or Domestic Abuse line in your area.

I am not going to talk about divorces or lawyers or talaaks because I have no knowledge of it, but no woman or man should be abused mentally or physically.
I went on a Domestic Abuse course this week from work so there you go.

[Aaqib]

999? Must be the UK's version of "911"

[زهراء]

^wondering about the same thing!

[hisnameiszzz]

Yeah, 999 is for the UK.

Sorry, there was a lady who posted a topic today and then it got closed. It was in response to her.

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[Aaqib]

Yeah, 999 is for the UK.

Sorry, there was a lady who posted a topic today and then it got closed. It was in response to her.

Oh Mashallah that's nice of you, I hope she sees this.

[hisnameiszzz]

Oh Mashallah that's nice of you, I hope she sees this.

I assumed she was from the UK, but she could be from anywhere.

I'm a DV expert (I don't go round beating women up but I have worked in a DV Unit in the past and I have just had training this week).

DV is not just physically beating someone up or even mentally being horrible to someone, the main thing they now look for is if the perpetrator (the one who is violent) has control or power over the victim.

[LaSorcia]

999? Must be the UK's version of "911"

Aye, it is. ;)

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

Keep a rolling-pin handy. One of those solid marble ones.

[Umm Abed]

Keep a rolling-pin handy. One of those solid marble ones.

Ouch no, lol;D

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

Apparently it's the exact opposite in Saudi. The wives there are beating up their husbands. The husbands pose questions like this to the `Ulamaa there, asking what they must do if they wife beats them up, and they get told they must make Sabr.

Saudi Arab women are very different.

[Umm Abed]

Interesting enough... but why make sabr, why not deal with the blow, so to speak?:D

[Samiun]

:sl: I don't think the husband would survive without lying on the hospital bed the next morning.

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

:sl: I don't think the husband would survive without lying on the hospital bed the next morning.

Well, if he was abusing his wife, then he deserves to be lying on the hospital bed the next morning. And the next, too. And quite a few mornings after that.

[hisnameiszzz]

Apparently it's the exact opposite in Saudi. The wives there are beating up their husbands. The husbands pose questions like this to the `Ulamaa there, asking what they must do if they wife beats them up, and they get told they must make Sabr.

Saudi Arab women are very different.

Oh no, it's not just men beating up women in the UK, you have women beating up men. There were loads of LOL's (very unprofessional I know) at the Multi Agency Risk Assessment Conference when a woman beat the living daylights out of her husband with a massive plank of wood.

But in the UK, it has now gone crazy because you have same sex couples which has posed a huge problem. Where does a gay man who is beating beating up by his male partner/husband go because most of the refuges are for women. They were discussing it at the conference.

Interesting enough... but why make sabr, why not deal with the blow, so to speak?:D

Islam is a confusing religion. It says do "sabr" literally everywhere. I think that's why Muslim women we work with are so petrified of coming clean and telling how it really is. A lot of Muslim women say it is against their religion to complain about their husbands and it's against their culture and people will look down on them or ostracize them. So what is a woman supposed to do Islamically? Keep on taking beatings and being controlled and not complain? I am sure there is some reasoning to it but it goes straight over my head. One of the ladies who came to see us said she went to see the Imam's wife and she told her to remain with her husband and it would get better, it didn't, she ended up with two black eyes and a broken arm!!!

[Umm Abed]

Hisnamezzz.You see, all this ill-treatment whether it is from a man or woman, has got nothing to do with Islam. It all boils down to culture and reputation, so they are told to live with it. There is nothing confusing about Islam. Islam prohibits abuse no matter who does it. The fault lies within the community.

[keiv]

On the topic of domestic violence, the topic is in the news constantly here in the states, just on a local level alone. So if, for whatever reason, a middle eastern man (not even Muslim) makes the news for beating his wife or even going as far as killing her and it makes it on the global media, why is it that the world says Muslims are such a barbaric people who like to hurt their wives when all they have to do is turn on their local news to see their neighbors raping and beating each other on a daily basis? That's got to be a bad case of denial..

Anyways, don't mind me. Just had to throw that out there. Carry on

[jabeady]

On the topic of domestic violence, the topic is in the news constantly here in the states, just on a local level alone. So if, for whatever reason, a middle eastern man (not even Muslim) makes the news for beating his wife or even going as far as killing her and it makes it on the global media, why is it that the world says Muslims are such a barbaric people who like to hurt their wives when all they have to do is turn on their local news to see their neighbors raping and beating each other on a daily basis? That's got to be a bad case of denial..

Anyways, don't mind me. Just had to throw that out there. Carry on

What are you on about? Of all the domestic violence cases I've seen and heard about, I'm not aware of any that have involved Muslims.

[Little_Lion]

What are you on about? Of all the domestic violence cases I've seen and heard about, I'm not aware of any that have involved Muslims.

I've seen quite a few, mostly on conservative political sites in the US (gotta love Facebook friends that link such things). Articles about domestic abuse in Muslim households is also fairly common on the BBC. I agree though that it is very, very rare that I see such articles on mainstream or liberal US media, and even then they have usually picked it up from an international source.

[hisnameiszzz]

Hisnamezzz.You see, all this ill-treatment whether it is from a man or woman, has got nothing to do with Islam. It all boils down to culture and reputation, so they are told to live with it. There is nothing confusing about Islam. Islam prohibits abuse no matter who does it. The fault lies within the community.

UA, I never said Islam said beat your husband or wife up. I was talking about the "sabr" element. That's the part I don't understand. So if I was a woman who was being beaten up on a daily basis, should I just do "sabr" or eventually beat the living daylights out of him or report him to someone? That is what I meant.

On the topic of domestic violence, the topic is in the news constantly here in the states, just on a local level alone. So if, for whatever reason, a middle eastern man (not even Muslim) makes the news for beating his wife or even going as far as killing her and it makes it on the global media, why is it that the world says Muslims are such a barbaric people who like to hurt their wives when all they have to do is turn on their local news to see their neighbors raping and beating each other on a daily basis? That's got to be a bad case of denial..

Anyways, don't mind me. Just had to throw that out there. Carry on

You are correct there. Domestic Violence cases that make it to the media all involve a "Muslim" perpetrator. There was the case of the honour killing in Bradford a week ago where the woman got married, divorced and went back to Pakistan to marry someone else, the first husband went back and killed her. It was all "MUSLIM" "MUSLIM" "MUSLIM". They do bully Muslims and make out Islam is a boogyman religion.

I worked for the Domestic Violence unit for a long time and there were some proper barbaric cases where a man attacked his partner with a broken bottle numerous times and almost completely maimed her. She was left paralysed from her hips down. They were atheist and it never made it to the news.

There is a Christian black family again in my immediate area. They are very well known for beating up white women they are partnered with. The whole black family are at it and we used to get about 3 cases a month. Did that ever make it to the news? Not even once.

[Umm Abed]

UA, I never said Islam said beat your husband or wife up. I was talking about the "sabr" element. That's the part I don't understand. So if I was a woman who was being beaten up on a daily basis, should I just do "sabr" or eventually beat the living daylights out of him or report him to someone? That is what I meant.

Sorry for the misunderstanding there but, Islam is not confusing at all. If anyone is abused that doesnt mean it should be left to carry on but rather dealt with at once.

Islam doesnt say 'make sabr' for abuse and let it carry on. On the contrary. Like, why allow the person to abuse and carry out an evil act.. It happens because families are more worried about their own reputation than seek help, so they say 'make sabr' and stick it out - and use Islam for their means and objectives.