My "Old Fashioned" Marriage

[Chosen One]

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Islam,


I am currently battling some demons. Since I was 16 or so, I have said I would want to marry the traditional way.


A lot of people my age or close to my age have been marrying in this way;


Parents/Guardians find them a girl. They are allowed to talk I.e. via email, text or even call but sometimes through a guardians phone. They get to know a bit about each other (nothing too intrusive) if they see they have similar goals and objectives in life they agree to meet face to face with guardians and then proceed to marriage In'sha Allah.


Mine has been very different and "old fashioned".


I was allowed to see the girl face to face but not talk to her direct. Then our families set a date and I agreed due to the good things I've heard of her. Even then, her family would not let me talk/contact her with supervision after everything has been set.


The only time I'd be talking to her seems like after the Wedding. What if after this we realise we're not right for each other? I don't have the patience and after trying to battle my demons, the attitude to try and bend my or her will so we can live accordingly.


This annoys me and these thoughts creep into my head. I am about a month away from marriage and I feel so alone. The people I talk to married the opposite way. They can't offer me any advice.


Of course it could all be good, but it can also be bad and I'm just very stressed about that outcome. I would feel like I went against my beliefs and did something I always loathed. Which is marrying someone without getting to know anything about them.


Any advice on this would be much appreciated.

[Serinity]

:salam:


could you send them an 'interview' card? With questions for the potential to answer?


may Allah :swt: help you.
Allahu alam.