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mdsajidha
09-01-2016, 10:34 AM
Bismillahir Rahmaneer Raheem

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh

I never thought I would say this but I need help.So here it goes....

I am a 16 year old teenager....I started masturbating at the age of 11....5 years for 5 years I have been doing this nasty,dirty haraam act
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Huzaifah ibn Adam
09-01-2016, 10:37 AM
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

Get married.

Don't worry about people who say you should be a certain age before getting married. You're already old enough to get married.
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mdsajidha
09-01-2016, 10:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Huzaifah ibn Adam
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

Get married.

Don't worry about people who say you should be a certain age before getting married. You're already old enough to get married.
I know I am according to Islam but not according to my county's constitution
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mdsajidha
09-01-2016, 10:41 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Huzaifah ibn Adam
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

Get married.

Don't worry about people who say you should be a certain age before getting married. You're already old enough to get married.
And also my parents will not agree
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Huzaifah ibn Adam
09-01-2016, 11:15 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by mdsajidha
I know I am according to Islam but not according to my county's constitution
The country's constitution doesn't matter. They wouldn't know, in any case. Nikaah is performed in a Masjid. It's not necessary to sign papers. Nikaah can even be performed in a house.
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Huzaifah ibn Adam
09-01-2016, 11:17 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by mdsajidha
And also my parents will not agree
That's generally the case. Your only option, though, is to try and convince them. Explain why you need to get married.
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aaj
09-01-2016, 01:30 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Huzaifah ibn Adam
The country's constitution doesn't matter. They wouldn't know, in any case. Nikaah is performed in a Masjid. It's not necessary to sign papers. Nikaah can even be performed in a house.
That is not a practical advice. While it could be done in Muslim nations or Africa, it is not that easy in the west. A 15 or 16 year old could get married in the west but needs parents permission. And then the fact that you find someone that young whose parents are willing to get her married, especially to another such young person who is not even able to support himself let alone a wife.

Best advice would be for the brother to fast to suppress his desires for now.
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Huzaifah ibn Adam
09-01-2016, 01:37 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by aaj
That is not a practical advice. While it could be done in Muslim nations or Africa, it is not that easy in the west. A 15 or 16 year old could get married in the west but needs parents permission. And then the fact that you find someone that young whose parents are willing to get her married, especially to another such young person who is not even able to support himself let alone a wife.

Best advice would be for the brother to fast to suppress his desires for now.
The thing is, akhi: Will he be able to fast every single day until such time as he can get married? That is very difficult to do. An additional thing to keep in mind is that one of the reasons fasting helps to restrain the Nafs is that the fasting person is eating less. However, these days you find that Iftaar time, people go all out and overeat till they can barely move. That defeats one of the objectives of fasting, which is to restrain the Nafs. When a person "feasts" at Iftaar time, the Nafs - instead of learning restraint - will stay just as strong or become even stronger. So not only must the person fast everyday, he/she must also not "feast" at Iftaar and Sehri time, but must eat and drink in moderation.

That can be very difficult to do.
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aaj
09-01-2016, 01:58 PM
Fasting is not the one and only solution but it is the most viable one for him at this stage. If he is in the west then marriage is not an option for him right now or a very difficult one. Fasting will help suppress the nafs and lesson them. In addition to that, he has to do other things as well. Such as avoiding viewing material that could lead to it or situations that could lead to it, lowering one's gaze, and spending too much time alone.

Here's a good link to check out for the bro inshallah:
Ruling on masturbation and how to cure the problem

https://islamqa.info/en/329
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colinberry1
09-01-2016, 09:33 PM
Well there is more nasty things that you can do in this world than that, I'm sure, I think in just being honest and truthful could free you from sins like that, or even being kind and loving having empathy for those in trouble.

Well I go as far, to say, if that is the only haraam you commit in your life I'm sure you will be on the fast train to heaven.
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mdsajidha
09-02-2016, 02:32 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by colinberry1
Well there is more nasty things that you can do in this world than that, I'm sure, I think in just being honest and truthful could free you from sins like that, or even being kind and loving having empathy for those in trouble.

Well I go as far, to say, if that is the only haraam you commit in your life I'm sure you will be on the fast train to heaven.
Brother I am no angel or prophet....other little sins are also done by me but this nasty major sin I can't get rid of......
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colinberry1
09-02-2016, 11:03 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by mdsajidha
Brother I am no angel or prophet....other little sins are also done by me but this nasty major sin I can't get rid of......

Well you can only keep trying to resist the temptation, always remember the big sins hurts other people and destroys their lives.
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slunat95
09-02-2016, 11:18 AM
Get married
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colinberry1
09-02-2016, 01:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by slunat95
Get married
Well that is a very good idea, the trouble is finding the one you love, I know how important that is, I am a 24 seven carer for my wife with a brain injury that requires every minute I have, and have to do virtually everything for her, she cannot do nothing at all, so just marrying someone to fulfil your lust is certainly not the answer if you are unfortunate enough to find both of you in this sort of circumstances.
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drac16
09-02-2016, 08:31 PM
Replace lustful thoughts with pure thoughts. Next time you've images of a woman in your mind, think about things that inspire you. The Qur'an is full of imagery that's inspiring. One of the stories that often stirs my soul is prophet Jonah [peace be upon him] inside the belly of a fish. That dua he makes is inspiring. Think about Bilal [may Allah be pleased with him] as those whips are tearing through his flesh, on his chest is a huge stone and he is baking in the heat. Think of things like that when you've got impure images in your mind.

You have to be willing to fight this desire with every ounce of strength you have. It is difficult, but not impossible.
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