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IbnAbdulHakim
09-03-2016, 08:36 AM
Assalamu Alaikum

Alhamdulillaah i got married last sunday and wanted to ask everyone to make dua for me and my wife.

The reason I have shared this in the mixed forum rather then brothers section is because I feel sisters can provide amazing insight into the women's side of married life (help me be more sensitive towards her by advising me)

We performed the Nikkah and will have a feast later.

If anyone has any pearls of wisdom to share I would very much appreciate it.

If anyone has learned from experiences then please let me learn through your errors

I have created this thread simply to open up to peoples experiences and in hopes of being as well prepared as possible (on top of reading all the books so far)

If someone has advise to give of a sensitive nature please feel free to PM me (again sisters also - this is for the sake of Allaah)

Assalamu Alaikum!
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MuhammadIbrahim
09-03-2016, 08:53 AM
Congratulations! Remember our prophet Muhammad's hadith! he said, "The best among you is the best to his wife/wives and kids. And I'm the best among you to my wives and kids. You should be very patient with your wife.
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ardianto
09-03-2016, 09:14 AM
Wa'alaikumsalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Alhamdulillah. Congratulation, brother. May Allah bless you and your wife with married life that sakinah, mawadah, wa rahmah.

:)
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sister herb
09-03-2016, 09:14 AM
Congratulations! May all your life will be full of happiness.

In the marriage life, we should always remember two little words. They are Thank you and I am sorry. They will help you over the conflicts and the times of misunderstandings.
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Muslim Woman
09-03-2016, 09:19 AM
:wa:


bro , may Allah bless your marriage .


Remember , she is not perfect . You will get her perfect version in the paradise In'sha Allah .

here u must respect her feelings , don't mention about her faults to others , give her time to cope with new life and changes .

Offer tahajjud together .
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-03-2016, 09:24 AM
JazakAllah khair for replies

Also what is the feeling of sisters in regards to doing Umrah right after marriage?

Is it something you are comfortable with or would prefer to wait and get to know each other more?
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Umm Abed
09-03-2016, 12:17 PM
:sl:

:ma: and may Allah bless your marriage with goodness and barakah, ameen.

I would say if you get the opportunity to go for umrah then do take it, it would be amazing to go together now, alhamdulillah.
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keiv
09-03-2016, 12:59 PM
You will have ups and downs, it's part of the package. Don't give up when you guys are facing tough times. A lot of people these days give up the moment they face an issue with their spouse and the first thing they think of is divorce. If you guys can learn to work things out and make compromises, then I guarantee you the marriage will be stronger and last forever. I'm not married but, trust me on this. I learned this by other people's experiences.

When you guys do experience this, give each other some space as well. Learn the things that make your wife happy and learn the things that piss her off and be sure to stay away from the things that piss her off :)
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Alpha Dude
09-03-2016, 01:23 PM
Congratulations!
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Little_Lion
09-03-2016, 02:47 PM
Congratulations, and approach everything with patience. :)
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زهراء
09-03-2016, 04:01 PM
بارك الله لكما و بارك عليكما و جمع بينكما في خير!

I once heard a person giving advice to a groom and he said that a man should fulfil the emotional needs of his wife to the best of his ability-never invalidating her feelings-in return she will do the world for him.

Always express your love in both words and actions.. She knows you have love for her but she would like to hear it too.
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-03-2016, 05:00 PM
i think expecting a return is a recipe for pain tbh
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Umm Abed
09-03-2016, 05:05 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
i think expecting a return is a recipe for pain tbh
Why? It has to be from both sides, so both have to play a role.
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-03-2016, 05:08 PM
Originally Posted by Umm Abed
Why? It has to be from both sides, so both have to play a role.
I can understand that but both sides are also human so may not be aware of all emotions playing within us hence not realise the need for a return.

I have seen this so many times.
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Umm Abed
09-03-2016, 05:12 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
I can understand that but both sides are also human so may not be aware of all emotions playing within us hence not realise the need for a return.

I have seen this so many times.
Best is to talk and be open with your partner, in that way there is more understanding and then it will come naturally.
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Kiro
09-03-2016, 05:15 PM
Wswrb

nice now hurry and repopulate the Earth ;D ;D
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زهراء
09-03-2016, 05:38 PM
Originally Posted by Kiro
Wswrb

nice now hurry and repopulate the Earth ;D ;D
Why in such a hurry to become an Uncle? [emoji13]
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زهراء
09-03-2016, 05:50 PM




^ Very good advice[emoji108]
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Kiro
09-03-2016, 06:06 PM
Originally Posted by زهراء
Why in such a hurry to become an Uncle? [emoji13]
You might never know who will be the hero in a appolalypse
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زهراء
09-03-2016, 06:09 PM
Originally Posted by Kiro
You might never know who will be the hero in a appolalypse
An appolalypse*

I'm wondering how this relates to my question[emoji85]
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noraina
09-03-2016, 06:23 PM
Alf mabrook!

May Allah swt bless you and your wife with a blessed, happy marriage and may you both benefit abundantly from it in both deen and dunya ameen.

I would say, first and foremost, love your wive for the sake of Allah swt, and she should do the same with you. And this is probably redundant of me to say, but communication is key - communicate your feelings for her regularly (men sometimes underestimate how important this can be to a woman and how much this means to her) and again, if you have any problems or concerns, communicate them to her as well - rather than leaving them unspoken and unaddressed.

And all of us, men and women, should of course follow the sunnah and hadiths of our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) regarding marriage (and everything else of course) ...subhanAllah a perfect model of conduct as a husband and companion.

Try and be as gentle with her as possible, women are sensitive :D.
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islamirama
09-03-2016, 06:23 PM
Congratulations bro, may Allah bless your marriage and protect it from the hasad of others.

Remember there is time for a man to stand his ground and speak and a time for him to keep quiet. Know the difference and when which is appropriate.

A woman's greatest need is emotional (in the context of marriage), fulfill that need and she will fulfill all your needs.
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Kiro
09-03-2016, 06:43 PM
Originally Posted by زهراء
An appolalypse*

I'm wondering how this relates to my question[emoji85]
Think about it! What if the world was running out of sugar, or sweets or zombies suddenly came out.

Parents should hurry up and make babies so they can make the world a better place or save it of what may be

Or... what if... I dropped my sandwitch

and a young man is like: Here you can have mine.

See free foood

What if death comes before any of that stuff is possible?? Like the couple didn't summon a tubby from the belly coz it was too late

ok... do baby making so I don't have to do anything. Couch potato.
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Mustafa16
09-03-2016, 07:17 PM
Congratulations, bro! I'm so happy for you! May Allah bless your marriage and may you have a happy marriage.....I can't really give much advice since I am only 17, but all I can say, I know that marriage requires compromise, and a lot of it, on both sides.
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zAk
09-05-2016, 11:31 AM
Ma sha Allah, Mabrook!
بَارَكَ اللهُ لَكُم ، وَبَارَكَ عَلَيْكُم ، وَجَمَعَ بَيْنَكُمَا فِي خَيْرٍ

‘May Allaah bless for you (your spouse) and bless you, and may He unite both of you in goodness.’

Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
i think expecting a return is a recipe for pain tbh
You already have half the wisdom to live a happy life. Learn to say "Sorry" often for the rest.
Reply

Scimitar
09-05-2016, 11:39 AM
ALLAHU AKBAR, congratulations my brother, mashaAllah,

Scimi
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mission2succeed
09-05-2016, 11:55 AM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
JazakAllah khair for replies

Also what is the feeling of sisters in regards to doing Umrah right after marriage?

Is it something you are comfortable with or would prefer to wait and get to know each other more?
:sl:

Brother I would strongly recommend you both to go on umrah insha'allah just always remember religion comes before everything else. On you is to guide your wife towards good insha'allah and this would be a great way of showing your religious commitment. It will take time for you both to get to know each other insha'allah but things that are done in the way of Allah are better than those that are led upon desires. Remember marriage is a two way thing and it is built on trust. If you expect your wife to treat you well you need to show the same in return insha'allah.
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-05-2016, 05:37 PM
Originally Posted by zAk
Ma sha Allah, Mabrook!
بَارَكَ اللهُ لَكُم ، وَبَارَكَ عَلَيْكُم ، وَجَمَعَ بَيْنَكُمَا فِي خَيْرٍ

‘May Allaah bless for you (your spouse) and bless you, and may He unite both of you in goodness.’

You already have half the wisdom to live a happy life. Learn to say "Sorry" often for the rest.
Im already use to apologising
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Re.TiReD
09-05-2016, 07:02 PM
Assalamu 'alaykum

Mabrook! May your married life be a happy and blissful one. Ameen.

Sincere advice, talk to her. Why are you asking on the forum what sisters would think about performing umrah after marriage? No matter what we say your wife will have an opinion of her own so ask her. The key to a good marriage and healthy relationship is communication, so whenever you feel tempted to ask on the forum or ask advice from anybody else etc...speak to her first. I don't just mean right now, I mean in future and always.

Salam
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Serinity
09-05-2016, 07:21 PM
:salam:

Allahumma barik lahu
@Kiro that "lahu" that "la" is a zabur, "hu" is a pesh!! Laha would be zabur. I think I understand now. In shaa' Allah.) (hope I said it correctly) may we all meet in Jannah. may Allah :swt: gather us in Jannah. Ameen.

And Allah :swt: knows best.
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