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View Full Version : Is it a bad idea to get married during grad school?



Mustafa16
09-05-2016, 03:19 AM
I am 17, and I want to get a PhD in economics, but while I am in grad school I won't be making much money........the stipend is barely enough to survive off of.....and the girl I want to marry is the same age as me, and so I'm worried if I wait until after I get my PhD she'll have gotten married to someone else by then.....what should I do?
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Little_Lion
09-05-2016, 03:33 AM
My husband and I started attending college together while we were married and we loved it. It was actually much easier than attending college alone because we could swap off making meals and doing housework, help each other with our studies, and if one of us had a light class load we could work part time to help us out. I say do not wait and marry the girl, insha'Allah.
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Eric H
09-05-2016, 07:18 AM
Greetings and peace be with you Mustafa16;

If she is the one who you would like to be a pensioner with in fifty years time; and you can both fulfil your obligations as Muslims together, then go for it.

BUT, your exams are in a few days, you must prepare for them first, OR ELSE :coldwater:

Blessings

Eric
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Umm Abed
09-05-2016, 08:13 AM
She's only 17, I dont see why she would rush and not wait for you, but, as good advice, I would say you should concentrate on studies and hobbies if that is a better option, its just my suggestion though. What do you think?
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زهراء
09-05-2016, 08:31 AM
You both are young, but unlike society makes it to be, you are Islamically an adult. If she feels the same way about spending the rest of her life with you, then you should make Nikaah as soon as possible.

You are not in Haraam. Don't let the opportunity for Haraam arise. If you are not going to marry her, you would probably think of her a lot and so on. Rather let it be that you make it Halaal. Then you know you won't be falling into sin with regards to this issue.

Yes, both of your studies are important too. Speak to your parents and hers. There is always the option of making Nikaah and living seperately until a time when you can support her financially. If your parents are willing, they might welcome her into their home and support her just as they do for you.

The best is for both parties to discuss and mention all of these aspects before marriage. It should be made clear so that no misunderstandings occur after Nikaah.
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Huzaifah ibn Adam
09-05-2016, 10:30 AM
What زهراء mentioned is a good idea in your case. Have the Nikaah yet continue living separately (just visiting) until such time as you are financially stable. That way, you avoid falling into Haraam and in addition to that, you've "captured her" and no one else can now come along and marry her before you, so that worry is gone too.

Fitnah is rife in the world today. All over the world; it's not just in the West. For that reason, it's more advisable that youngsters get married as soon as possible, to avoid falling into Haraam. People will tell you to wait until you're older (maybe mid 20s), but their advice is based on what is more beneficial in terms of the Dunyaa. Getting married earlier is to benefit you in the Aakhirah, by saving you from Haraam. So you have to choose which is more important.
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Mustafa16
09-05-2016, 10:44 AM
Originally Posted by Huzaifah ibn Adam
What زهراء mentioned is a good idea in your case. Have the Nikaah yet continue living separately (just visiting) until such time as you are financially stable. That way, you avoid falling into Haraam and in addition to that, you've "captured her" and no one else can now come along and marry her before you, so that worry is gone too.

Fitnah is rife in the world today. All over the world; it's not just in the West. For that reason, it's more advisable that youngsters get married as soon as possible, to avoid falling into Haraam. People will tell you to wait until you're older (maybe mid 20s), but their advice is based on what is more beneficial in terms of the Dunyaa. Getting married earlier is to benefit you in the Aakhirah, by saving you from Haraam. So you have to choose which is more important.
when you have nikah, are you married under Islamic law? are you allowed to have marital relations such as having sex?
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Huzaifah ibn Adam
09-05-2016, 10:47 AM
Originally Posted by Mustafa16
when you have nikah, are you married under Islamic law? are you allowed to have marital relations such as having sex?
Of course. Nikaah is marriage.
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