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happymuslim
09-28-2016, 10:04 PM
Aslamualaikum brothers and sisters in Islam, I'm new to the forum but I have a question that has been bothering me lately.

What is the difference between backbiting and slandering? I heard that by saying someones height or what they look like behind there back is haraam and I'm not sure what that means, like is discribing someone haraam? What is backbiting and what falls into the category of backbiting and slandering??
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ardianto
09-29-2016, 02:15 PM
Wa'alaikumsalam sister.

Backbiting is talking negatively about someone that usually based on prejudice. In example, an employee get promotion. Then other employees start gossiping him, like he get promotion because he 'lick' the boss.

While slandering is making false accusation with purpose to ruin reputation. In example, an employee make false accusation toward another employee with purpose to make this another employee getting fired.
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Little_Lion
09-29-2016, 02:49 PM
Describing someone in simple terms is not haram; there is nothing wrong with saying "they are tall" or "they have brown hair". Backbiting is when you say something like "ug, did you see their hair? It looks like a rats's nest!" Putting a person down behind their back is haram.
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talibilm
09-29-2016, 04:22 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by happymuslim
Aslamualaikum brothers and sisters in Islam, I'm new to the forum but I have a question that has been bothering me lately.

What is the difference between backbiting and slandering? I heard that by saying someones height or what they look like behind there back is haraam and I'm not sure what that means, like is discribing someone haraam? What is backbiting and what falls into the category of backbiting and slandering??

:sl:

The Hadiths is clear on this

Muslim :: Book 32 : Hadith 6265

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Do you know what is Backbitingg? They (the Companions) said: Allah and His Messenger know best. Thereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: Backbiting implies your talking about your brother in a manner which he does not like. It was said to him: What is your opinion about this that if I actually find (that failing) in my brother which I made a mention of? He said: If (that failing) is actually found (in him) what you assert, you in fact backbited him, and if that is not in him it is a slander.

both the above posts are right, even a despising talk about the looks of a person at his back is Backbiting . Slander on one's honor will carry sin of eating the worst of the Riba and a part of Riba's sin is as worst of Zina with ones own mother.
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happymuslim
09-30-2016, 05:09 AM
Do you know any ways to avoid this,in the environment that I live in, 1 of every 2 people backbite its so common its like breathing, sometimes I feel like I need a way to avoid it even being surrounded by people who do.
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kritikvernunft
09-30-2016, 06:15 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by happymuslim
What is the difference between backbiting and slandering?
Slandering is telling lies and bearing false witness about someone. Backbiting is promoting unfavourable opinions about someone. Backbiting is the same as black mouthing.

Sahih Imam Muslim ibn al-Hajjaj al-Naysaburi (rahimahullah):

The apostle of Allah said :"Do you know what backbiting is?" They said, "God and His Messenger know best." He then said, "It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike." Someone asked him, "But what if what I say is true?" The Messenger of God said, "If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him."
I asked the apostle of Allah : "Who is the best Muslim?" The Messenger of God replied, "He is the one from whom Muslims are safe from the evil of his tongue and hands.
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mjyschlink
09-30-2016, 06:37 AM
I was backbitten and slandered quite often because of what happened to my mother. All my friends know I am a good person and don't deserve it. Even strangers know right away sometimes.
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talibilm
09-30-2016, 10:27 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by happymuslim
Do you know any ways to avoid this,in the environment that I live in, 1 of every 2 people backbite its so common its like breathing, sometimes I feel like I need a way to avoid it even being surrounded by people who do.
:sl:

Yes this is frequently asked question and the only way is to tell the back biting person the sin of back biting and its domino effect of accumulated sins when his remarks are passed from one to another. Because sins begets Sin and Virtues beget virtues. example If Someone says he did such a mistake than others who did not do will also may long to do that thinking when such such a good person did it why not me ?. So listening to backbiting is also a Sin. Similarly when we talk about other's good than those who did not do it will also think of doing it when such an ordinary person did so good like in case of Charity etc.

Some still continued to back bite untill i had to close my ears untill they stop the issue. While this happens on phone i keep it far from my ears untill the speaker Yells ' Hello hello are u hearing me ? and i replied them Yes i hear you now but not a few moments before when you spoke some matter IMMATERIAL to me. Than he stops this sin when he calls me in future calls.
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aaj
09-30-2016, 03:26 PM
Best thing to do in these situations is to remove yourself from the environment. If someone asks, say that backbiting/slandering is against Islam and i do not wish to increase my sins by being part of it.
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hisnameiszzz
10-07-2016, 06:16 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by happymuslim
Do you know any ways to avoid this,in the environment that I live in, 1 of every 2 people backbite its so common its like breathing, sometimes I feel like I need a way to avoid it even being surrounded by people who do.
If it's possible, walk away from the situation.

I work in a team which is mainly women, they all seem to have an opinion of one another (men do it as well!). As soon as someone walks out of the room, they all start disrespecting her. It's common in my work place and I am sure they do it about me too. I try to zone out of the situation, so if I am doing some casework, I will concentrate so hard I don't end up joining in or listening to it.

I tend to bite my lower lip and not join in which normally works. However, I have to admit, sometimes I feel I have to put my 2p worth in and end up moaning or saying bad things about someone behind their back which I know is awful.

The other thing I think about if I feel I want to join in backbiting is I am not perfect and I have heaps and heaps of flaws. Who am I to disrespect someone else, even if it is behind their back.
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