Originally Posted by anatolian
I agree, we must be careful when using such labels.
"Dayooth" basically means the one who does not care whether his wife commits illegal sexual relations with other men. However it is used as a derogative label who doesnt pay enough attention (according to the label maker) to the modesty of his wife.
Illegal sexual relations can occur in the mind as well. The responsible Islamically-minded man should take all precautionary measures - within his control - to prevent his womenfolk from having any part in even potential fantasies
of strange men.
Allah :swt1: says:
"And do not go near
zina. It is indeed a shameful and an evil path." (Qur'an 17:32)
The man will not be called to account for what was beyond his control, which is why we should be careful when judging the behavior of others. It is quite possible that the man has a situation beyond his control that we are not aware of. We live in societies where our Muslim communities have proved useless in protecting the dignity of our women. In many cases, these communities are working against this dignity in a variety of ways.
When in doubt, adopt silence, take lesson, and beg Allah to protect you and yours from the same fitna. As a personal practice, I even do the aforementioned when I can be reasonably sure that the man is
irresponsible - a Dayooth. Trust me, it's not easy - particularly when the irresponsible men are Ulama, whose example people are only too happy to follow.
Furthermore, this term is
a derogatory label. It is intended to be so.
Abdullah ibn Umar :ra: reported that the Messenger of Allah :saws: said: "Three people will not enter paradise and Allah will not look to them on the Day of Judgment: the one who is disobedient to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the ad-Dayooth (cuckold, weak man who feels no jealousy over his womenfolk)..."
[Musnad Ahmad (2/134) No. 6180, Musnad al-Bazzar (12/270) No. 6051, al-Sunnan al-Kubra al-Nasa'i (2/63) No. 2354, al-Mu’jam al-Awsat al-Tabarani (3/51) No. 2443]
In relation to this, the OP has beautifully mentioned:
`Allaamah ibn al-Qayyim رحمة الله عليه
“And the Dayyooth (the man with no jealousy over the woman and his family) is the most vile of Allaah’s creation, and Jannah is forbidden for him, (because of his lack of Gheerah (protective jealousy and anger). A man should be “jealous” with regard to his wife’s honor and standing. He should defend her whenever she is slandered or spoken ill of behind her back. Actually, this is a right of every Muslim in general but a right of the spouse specifically. He should also be jealous in not allowing other men to look at his wife or speak with her in a manner which is not appropriate."
Such kind of derogative labels provoke over jealousy and crimes sometimes.
A responsible Islamically-minded man will want to avoid being labelled a Dayooth, by anyone, since he has a strong sense of gheerah for his wife and womenfolk.
Ignorant men are likely to do ignorant things - such as enforcing their so-called
"Islamic" cultural tribal machismo/hypocrisy/jahiliyyah on their womenfolk. Their stupidity is one of the viral diseases plaguing the Ummah that is misrepresenting the balanced teachings and practices of Islam.
May Allah guide and protect us all. Ameen.