/* */

PDA

View Full Version : My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical...



Aaqib
10-08-2016, 09:49 PM
...how can I prove to my dad that I'm not?
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
Huzaifah ibn Adam
10-08-2016, 09:58 PM
The first step is to define "radical". People use terms like "radical", "fundamentalist", etc. in a derogatory sense, but in reality what they are referring to by it is a person who follows Islaam entirely.
Reply

Scimitar
10-08-2016, 10:22 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aaqib
...how can I prove to my dad that I'm not?
by obeying him.

Scimi
Reply

cooterhein
10-08-2016, 10:35 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aaqib
...how can I prove to my dad that I'm not?
I have an idea. Hear me out, keep an open mind, this might actually work.

You live in the US, so there's a time difference that makes it rather hard to do this live....but here's the idea. Go here. http://lbc.audioagain.com/ Show that to your dad and ask him if he'd be willing to subscribe to this. Well, okay, don't ask him that right away, explain why first.

What you could offer to do with him, is listen to some of the Maajid Nawaz podcasts along with him. If he's willing to subscribe to the thing, you'll have access to archived podcasts and the two of you could listen to some shows and then discuss what you think of it.

If you tell your dad that you'd be willing to do that with him, I'm absolutely certain that would convince him that this site is not making you radical. I mean, it's within the realm of possibility that some slightly radical people are or at some point have been on this forum, but it's not fair to cherry-pick members or posts and then say that represents the forum as a whole. Really, it's not fair, and I'm sure you've learned all sorts of really valuable things here that have enriched your life.
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
Huzaifah ibn Adam
10-08-2016, 10:36 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Scimitar
by obeying him.

Scimi
That's good advice.

Always obey your parents as the Qur'aan commands, except if they order you to do something which is Haraam. In such a case, do not do it; however, continue to maintain respect for them and behave with the best of Akhlaaq towards them.
Reply

cooterhein
10-08-2016, 10:44 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Huzaifah ibn Adam
The first step is to define "radical". People use terms like "radical", "fundamentalist", etc. in a derogatory sense, but in reality what they are referring to by it is a person who follows Islaam entirely.
You're partly right. They are referring to people who Believe they follow Islam entirely....while also using that as a reason to engage in lawless acts of violence. Which is, arguably, quite un-Islamic, and that's an argument that absolutely needs to be made. The thing is though, the "radicals" and "fundamentalists" in question see things differently, and violence is the result. That's why it's a problem. People don't take issue with those who follow Islam entirely, just as long as they don't contribute to violence.
Reply

Search
10-08-2016, 11:59 PM
:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

:sl: (Peace be upon you)

format_quote Originally Posted by Aaqib
...how can I prove to my dad that I'm not?
I'm sorry to hear that your father is becoming troubled with you using this site; however, I'd note that you should still obey your father as brother Scimitar wisely recommended. When I started practicing Islam, what didn't I hear from my parents. They'd make fun of my salat (prayer), constantly dissuade me from fasting during Shahru Ramadan in case I became too weak to study, and my mom had point-blank told me that she'd refuse to talk to me ever if I decided to wear the hijab. They'd even ask me if I was planning on being a terrorist and wondered out loud constantly if I was planning on becoming an extremist. It was difficult in the beginning to show them that I'm just the same person they love but that something inside me had changed, but I knew I couldn't do that with words alone; so, instead of responding by being difficult with them in return, I'd instead just make duas (supplications) for my parents and decided to become my best with them. Both my parents came around to accepting of the change in me.

Brother, what we don't need are more people to tell others what Islam is or isn't but we should as much as we can try to embody what Islam is within our character; of course, we'll have flaws and foibles going forward no matter our efforts as simply part and parcel of being human beings, but we should as much as possible still try to succeed and try to introspect wherein we're going wrong with others and try to correct ourselves wherein possible.

Remember Prophet Muhammad :saws: said, "I was been sent to perfect noble character." Be patient with your parents, especially your father, because you owe him that respect. This respect doesn't meant that your father is allowed to oppress you in any manner as I should note, but this respect does mean that you listen and obey your father in recognition of the fact that he's concerned for you and wants the best for you and this honor is his right in Islam.

While I'm happy that you're on this site as a wonderful little brother, I recognize that you should be concerned about making your father happy with you as that's wherein Allah's happiness lies. Please do not make the mistake of arguing with your father as then he'd turn more intractable as arguments are poison in situations like that; instead, show in yourself the willingness to humble yourself before him. When he's cooled down, invite him either to browse the site himself at his leisure or to join this site himself so that all of us Muslims and non-Muslims alike can perhaps benefit from his wisdom and experience. And as always, be patient with anything of concern, because Allah has said in the Quran that Allah is with the patient (2:153). Patience will win you that which arguments never can - the heart.

:wa: (And peace be upon you)
Reply

Aaqib
10-09-2016, 04:31 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Scimitar
by obeying him.

Scimi
I'm trying to make my parents happy, but Allah comes first. The whole issue is on music classes, he wants me to take music classes. How can I obey him?
Reply

Huzaifah ibn Adam
10-09-2016, 05:39 PM
No no. No obedience in Haraam. He won't carry your sins on the Day of Qiyaamah. A person shouldn't throw himself into Jahannam for someone else's sake. Think about your own Aakhirah.
Reply

cooterhein
10-10-2016, 12:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aaqib
I'm trying to make my parents happy, but Allah comes first. The whole issue is on music classes, he wants me to take music classes. How can I obey him?
Are these music classes at school, in an educational setting? Or is this about music lessons outside of school, so you can learn to play an instrument? It might make a difference, depending which it is.
Reply

Aaqib
10-10-2016, 02:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by cooterhein
Are these music classes at school, in an educational setting? Or is this about music lessons outside of school, so you can learn to play an instrument? It might make a difference, depending which it is.
Learn to play an instrument inside of school...


and btw my dad has blocked half of the site, a matter of time he'll block the whole site.
Reply

Reminder
10-10-2016, 02:44 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aaqib
Learn to play an instrument inside of school...


and btw my dad has blocked half of the site, a matter of time he'll block the whole site.
You don't need to obey anyone when they tell you to do something wrong.

Father, mother, brother, sister, sheikh, teacher, or anyone else.

Will you become radical from this forum? I doubt that.
Reply

Aaqib
10-10-2016, 05:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Reminder
You don't need to obey anyone when they tell you to do something wrong.

Father, mother, brother, sister, sheikh, teacher, or anyone else.

Will you become radical from this forum? I doubt that.
I know, I'm going early to talk to the counselor on Tuesday.
Reply

muslim brother
10-10-2016, 06:43 PM
focus on your studies and prayers
strengthen your relationship with allah taala and your parents.
speak to family members and your father,they care for you,more than anyone here
remember youre parents will always be there for you inshallah,we wont.

prioritise..:thumbs_up
Reply

cooterhein
10-10-2016, 08:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aaqib
Learn to play an instrument inside of school...


and btw my dad has blocked half of the site, a matter of time he'll block the whole site.
Okay, with this being a school thing that does make it a bit more complicated. It's not unheard of for a parent to arrange for a religious exemption with these types of classes. Sometimes the school will say "You have the option of participating in a way that doesn't involve handling an instrument," and other times that parent may take you out of class for an hour. But this is usually done at the behest of parents, I think your specific situation is rather uncommon. As far as I know, anyway.

I would be curious to know how this goes for you, talking with the counselor and trying to make arrangements. This is the type of thing that I wouldn't have much of a chance to hear about if I wasn't hearing it from you. Now, just on general principle, I would recommend engaging with your dad on this particular issue within the context of your religious community. Get him to sit down with you and talk to your imam. See what you can work out. If your imam tells your dad this isn't extreme and you shouldn't be concerned, I think that will go a long way with your dad.

As far as I've been made aware, this is a rather complicated and somewhat contentious issue on which there isn't clear and universal consensus. I think it would be worthwhile to have an in-depth discussion that helps you find out exactly where your own mosque is at with this. It would seem that you and your dad have reached different conclusions. I would actually be rather curious to know what your imam says.

Do you already have a really good idea of what the stated position of your mosque is? Is this something that your imam has made clear to you in the past? This is just for my own curiosity- even if you know what it is, it would help a lot if you, your dad, and your imam could be in the same room talking for a little while.

Now, just from a practical standpoint, your dad might not really support you on this. But if you can show him that your imam is backing you, I think he'll agree to disagree and stop giving you a hard time about it. At the very least, it will be more difficult for him to call this extreme, if it's something that your imam is willing to help you out with. Something else to think about would be the role that your imam could play in talking to the school. He doesn't necessarily have to show up in person, although he could. There's a lot of ways to do this. He could write a note, or type up a letter, basically explaining the religious reasons that go into this. And then here, call this number if you want to follow up. That could be a good starting point- if your imam is willing to back you on this.

Good luck to you, and I hope we get to find out how it goes.
Reply

Karl
10-10-2016, 11:30 PM
Yes there are radicals on this forum the atheists and some liberal theists. Maybe your dad is right.
Islam is very conservative, not radical at all.
Reply

Aaqib
10-11-2016, 08:44 PM
OH COME ON NOW THE COUNSELOR JUST SAID NOW THAT SHE HAS TO RECEIVE AN ACCEPTANCE FROM MY DAD AND I GOT A HUGE YELLING.

I don't know this is so hard, I will be beaten like crap if I refuse to play the instruments..

And btw thanks Karl, you gave me an idea, I will call a religious teacher of mines and she'll talk to my dad, I hope it works out.


...

I'm not like Ibrahim (as) where the fire didn't hurt him at all this beating is REALLY going to hurt, even though it says in islam no scars must be on the child's skin he doesn't care...

This is my penalty for being so ignorant of Islam.
Reply

Aaqib
10-11-2016, 08:50 PM
I don't want to loose trust in Allah I want Allah to give me a dream to help me....
Reply

Little_Lion
10-11-2016, 08:51 PM
Could you learn to play the daff?
Reply

Aaqib
10-11-2016, 08:54 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Little_Lion
Could you learn to play the daff?
No, I have to play the violin....
Reply

Little_Lion
10-11-2016, 08:56 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aaqib
No, I have to play the violin....
Ouch. :( I wish I had other advice for you, brother.
Reply

AabiruSabeel
10-11-2016, 09:35 PM
Are music classes compulsory in your part of the world? Seems like a strange curriculum.
Reply

Aaqib
10-11-2016, 10:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ibn-Adam
Are music classes compulsory in your part of the world? Seems like a strange curriculum.
No, but my mom says I have to finish it even though I can quit...
Reply

Huzaifah ibn Adam
10-11-2016, 10:28 PM
What exactly is the reason your parents want you to take these music classes? What benefit will you be getting from them?
Reply

Aaqib
10-12-2016, 01:23 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Huzaifah ibn Adam
What exactly is the reason your parents want you to take these music classes? What benefit will you be getting from them?
Nothing! They think I need to be moderate by doing this haram nonsense!

What can I do tomorrow? I'm planning on faking I have to go to the bathroom and skip out a lot of the time
Reply

Aaqib
10-12-2016, 01:27 AM
They keep saying "oh you're an embarrassment you're bringing this religion to shame!" and idk how to cope with this, I've already been cheated by the counselor and my teacher, my parents insist on the class, I rely on Allah and I need him to make it easy for me.
Reply

Reminder
10-12-2016, 12:24 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aaqib
I don't want to loose trust in Allah I want Allah to give me a dream to help me....
Hi brother Aaqib,

Perform the Istikhara prayer.

See here: https://islamqa.info/en/2217.

Follow the instructions on this page.

Pray before going to sleep.

Trust me - it works.

Salam alaikum.

Edit: Here is my recent experience with Istikhara: http://www.islamicboard.com/general/...ara-story.html

It is a true story that happened to me this year.

Allah (swt) ALWAYS comes first, even before parents.

Remember, Abraham (pbuh) was willing to sacrifice his son.

Why? Simply because Allah (swt) instructed him to do so.
Reply

Eric H
10-12-2016, 05:20 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Aaqib;

how can I prove to my dad that I'm not?
Ask your dad to recommend a good Muslim forum that he would be happy for you to be on. Or, you could say that people on IB have to be good Muslims, because they need to be a good example to all the non Muslims on the forum.

In the spirit of praying to 'One God'

Eric
Reply

Scimitar
10-12-2016, 05:30 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Aaqib
They keep saying "oh you're an embarrassment you're bringing this religion to shame!" and idk how to cope with this, I've already been cheated by the counselor and my teacher, my parents insist on the class, I rely on Allah and I need him to make it easy for me.
the greatest musical instrument in the world is the human voice - all else is just trappings.

Here is my proof:



I hate to say this bro Aqib, but your parents saying "oh you're an embarrassment you're bringing this religion to shame!" is pretty ignorant of them.

May Allah, ease for you, your affairs. Ameen

Scimi
Reply

AabiruSabeel
10-12-2016, 05:38 PM
^ Bro, that video is a wind up. Please see: http://ilmfeed.com/viral-video-effec...han-a-wind-up/


A video purporting to show how music and the call to prayer affects the body has gone viral. It has been shared across social media including messaging services such as WhatsApp.

The video starts with an unidentified man playing music and pointing to graphics displayed on a goniometer claiming that this is how music affects the “the water, the minerals and the salts in the body”.

He then plays the call to prayer and claims it has an opposite effect on the body.

Whilst it’s true that the call to prayer does have a calming effect this video does not provide a scientific proof and is in fact a wind-up (they can be heard laughing at the end of the video).

It’s in fact to do with whether the audio is stereo or mono. One obvious giveaway is that he can be seen switching off one of the channels of the call to prayer in order to make it play in mono.

Several people have left comments on social media pointing to the fact that it’s fake.

Nasar Ishfaq wrote:


“The graph you see is called a Goniometer (he says it at the start of the video). The graph shows a 2D map of an audio recording, it allows audio-editors to balance the left and right channels of the sound to produce Stereo sound – that’s why on some files the graph produced a elipse.
Mono audio files produce a straight line and appear as almost silent on the graph as the audio is not using right and left channels and so is in perfect balance.
It has NOTHING to do with the sound itself only the way it was recorded.”

Joshua Surreal wrote:


“This is a stereo analyzer, The graph your seeing doesn’t even show any sort of frequency, It shows the stereo image of an audio clip.”

Hafiz Hanif tried it himself:


“Downloaded and installed a Goniometer, searched and download an Athan audio, made sure it was a stereo file, and ran the audio in the Goniometer. The wave was everywhere.”

Simon showed a live demo through Facebook live to prove it wrong



So the moral of the story? Don’t believe everything you hear or see on the internet. If you are not sure, ask an expert – in this case, sound engineers. You can also send us an email and we’ll check for you.

Let’s remember the following statement of the Prophet:


Abu Huraira narrated the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “It is enough to call a person a liar that he narrates everything he hears”[Sahih Muslim]

The explanation of the hadith is that a person will hear a mixture of truth and falsehood and if they simply narrate everything without checking what is true and what is false, they will inevitably narrate the lies too.
Reply

Scimitar
10-12-2016, 05:49 PM
there is scientific research to how intention can affect water though bro Ibn Adam, and considering our bodies are mostly water, I think there is some truth to this.

Take for example, the research of Dr Masaru Emoto.

In brief (you'll get the idea) :



follow up on it, and see for yourself.

Scimi
Reply

AabiruSabeel
10-12-2016, 06:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Scimitar
there is scientific research to how intention can affect water though bro Ibn Adam, and considering our bodies are mostly water, I think there is some truth to this.

Take for example, the research of Dr Masaru Emoto.

In brief (you'll get the idea) :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=au4qx_l8KEU

follow up on it, and see for yourself.

Scimi
Yes, this is very true. Words have an effect of the body and soul.

Just saying that particular video of sound is not really a scientific experiment. There could be other true experiments that we are not aware of.
Reply

Scimitar
10-12-2016, 06:08 PM
I had that vid sent to me on whatsapp four times today lol... madness.

Scimi
Reply

Scimitar
10-12-2016, 06:16 PM
On a side note - check this out. The Chinese managed to tap into how sound affects water for almost a millennium.

This video is of a Chinese resonance bowl (turn volume to less than half way, it's loud)



Now, that's food for thought.

Scimi
Reply

cooterhein
10-13-2016, 09:58 PM
This is a Ted Ed vid that briefly summarizes the main benefits of learning to play music that anyone would want to point to. This vid has literally nothing to do with Islam, but it may satisfy the curiosity of anyone who wants to know what sort of measurable benefits are associated with learning to play music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0JKCYZ8hng
Although it's worth pointing out that a basic, intro-level high school music class is only going to introduce people to the possibilities of truly learning to play an instrument- it's basically an entire course whose purpose is to position a student at the edge of something and find out if they're into it.

It's too bad that you haven't been able to get anything to go your way yet, although I can't say I'm entirely surprised by the requirement for parental involvement in the exemption. That's probably done in order to prevent lazy students from opting out of something that they just don't feel like doing- which is not you, that's not what you're doing at all, but the requirement is probably there with that sort of thing in mind. I'd still recommend talking things over with your imam, your dad clearly doesn't trust this site so you should get your dad talking to him.

I do encourage you to continue to engage, to make a reasoned and well-supported argument and to take whatever steps you have at your disposal to try and make some progress. Please don't react with anger though, this is the exact sort of time and situation in which open displays of anger and frustration will immediately and predictably be interpreted by your parents as signs of extremism and cause for concern.

Again, do talk to your imam with your dad, and it might be a good idea to make a point of checking in with him on an ongoing basis, when you happen to see him and as long as this is going on. As things continue to progress, it may be the case that you have to compromise on something in a way that you didn't really want to. Of course it's not what you wanted, but it may be that you have to. So you'll need a particular type of guidance in terms of negotiating a non-ideal situation.

From your dad, it sounds like the extent of this guidance will be "You have to do this, now deal with it." But....how exactly, Islamically speaking?
It well may be that the guidance you get from this forum is "You shouldn't have to do that. You really shouldn't. That's wrong, you shouldn't have to." But....you do. So what now?
That's where your imam comes in. Even if he's not able to help you reverse direction- which you can ask him about, it's worth a shot- he's definitely going to be your best shot at having a neutral observer, who knows Islamic teaching quite well, who will most likely hear you out without judging you for being frustrated, and will help you find the most proper way forward even if you aren't able to get out of the class.

If I were to hazard a guess, I would say your imam can probably come up with a better course of action than faking sickness. I'm not sure exactly what he would want to say to you, but I cannot imagine that he would tell you go ahead and fake sickness, that's the right idea, do exactly that. I don't see that happening.
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 20
    Last Post: 02-14-2015, 04:49 AM
  2. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-22-2011, 02:52 PM
  3. Replies: 16
    Last Post: 11-13-2007, 04:06 PM
  4. Replies: 15
    Last Post: 11-06-2007, 08:58 PM
  5. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-12-2006, 03:22 AM
British Wholesales - Certified Wholesale Linen & Towels | Holiday in the Maldives

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!