Emigrating To New Zealand

[hisnameiszzz]

Hi all,

I've been thinking about upping sticks and moving somewhere far and distant for a long time but as my life seems to be spiralling from bad to worse, the idea of moving is something I am thinking about more and more.

There is a huge part of me that will feel guilty for leaving ill siblings and my Mom behind, but I don't know if I can take it anymore. The animals from next door are getting nastier and nastier by the day (I still can't believe they are Muslims, I mean seriously!), my Mom is still adamant she will not move from here, and as time goes on, I have realised my life has been on hold since I was a teenager - I've been looking after my family and cooking and cleaning and doing hospital and GP runs and supporting them etc. I've also realised my Mom usually puts on the guilt trip, so if I say I want to go and stay at a friends for a day or two, the "face" comes on and then I feel bad for even having thought about it. I have other family members but to put it bluntly, they don't give a $hit. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying I am bound with lock and chains and not allowed to go out. However, when I compare my life to my other friends including Muslims, I don't have a life. It revolves around looking after my family and it is driving me insane. My hair has gone grey even though I am much younger than the other siblings and when people see us together, they all assume I am the oldest by far!

I don't know what to do. Has anyone else ever moved away from their family and how did it work out for them? Will I get over the guilt of not being able to look after them or will that just eat away at me? I'm not sure why I said New Zealand but I know it is far away and they won't be able to come looking for me. I am an educated person and I am sure I would be able to find a job somewhere.

Please could someone advise or slap some sense into me.

[anatolian]

Yes sometimes it better to go than stay. But if you can make the changes in your understanding which will change your attitude to your current enviroment, it is best.

[sister herb]

I agree, it´s sometimes better to take new start in your life but if you try to do it because you want to run away your problems, be sure they will follow you in your mind, where ever you go. If you feel quilty now when spend some your own time, you propably will feel quilty also in the New Zealand (or some other place).