I feel depressed, why won't Allah help me?

[t123]

Salam dear brothers and sisters, I would like to ask in advance for you all to forgive me if i say something that may be offensive to any of you.
Recently I feel like my entire life has gone downhill, I feel lonely, depressed, stressed, and sometimes suicidal. I feel like no one understands and nobody can help me. Indeed I am aware of the fact that only Allah can replace sadness with happiness, after all He created us, yet i have begged, i have cried, I have prayed and He doesn't seem to answer my prayers. Sometimes i find myself falling to the floor asking 'why me?' 'what have i done to deserve this?' 'please stop.' I have recently been through a breakup. I am aware that relationships are haram but i am genuinely in love with the man and only had intentions to marry him, no zina was committed, we have never touched one another. We were together for a very long time and now that he has left me i find myself asking Allah why He brought him into my life only to take him away again leaving me heartbroken. I have never felt so empty or broken in my entire life. On top of this, i am also a sufferer of eczema. My eczema has never been bad but over the past few weeks it has spread all over my ENTIRE body. I only ever had it on my arms, this is unnatural but a common trigger is stress. It is clear to me what i am stressed about and i cry and cry to Allah to relieve me of my stress and depression but He doesnt seem to help me, what am i doing wrong? my eczema makes me feel ugly and insecure, sometimes i just want to put an end to the pain by killing myself. I feel like hiding myself away from the world, sometimes i even think that someone may have given me the evil eye. Do any of you have advice for me on what to do about the evil eye? I am a college student and I cant even concentrate in my classes, i cant focus on my work, this could not all be happening at a worse time for me. I feel like i am failing myself and failing education which is sad because i am generally a bright student alhamdulillah. Ya Allah, I feel so helpless, please if any of you brothers and sisters have advice for me do share it, i feel like nobody understands, please share your thoughts with me, jazakallah

[noraina]

Wa alaykum assalam,

Firstly, sister, may Allah swt relieve you of all of your hardships and give you full shifaa and relief. Ameen.

This life in the dunya is meant to be a test, it ain't meant to be easy and it never will be. However, inside a trial there is goodness for us, there's an oft-quoted ayat from the Qur'an:

'Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.' (Quran, 2:286).

No one ever enjoys trials, but as a Muslim we must learnt to accept and then, with the help of Allah swt, overcome them. It's easy to fall into the trap of saying. 'Why me?' or 'Why aren't my prayers being answered?', because that's the wrong perspective to look at it from. Because *within* that trial is help, it bring us closer to Allah, encourages us to rely on Him alone and supplicate to Him, and perhaps when He takes away something it is because He will replace it with something even better.

'And when Allah loves a person He will test them.' (Tirmidhi and ibn Majah).

Even the Prophets were afflicted with the most daunting of trials - but it was because Allah swt loved them that they had these trials. To despair of His mercy or become impatient with His decree is something a Muslim should never do. And Allah swt *does* understand you, He knows what is in your heart before you even say it, and everything which happens is meant to happy.

For example, you had a break-up. Even if no intimacy was involved, a close relationship with a member of the opposite sex is still haraam, sis, and haraam can have a major effect upon your soul and well-being, so that is actually a huge blessing he left you now. What if he had left you after you had got married, or maybe he never would have married you in the first place? You deserve a man who will not leave you hanging, who will immediately go to your family and ask for your hand in marriage with ful dignity and respect. You deserve that and inshaAllah you'll get it.

As for your eczema, go to a dermatologist and get it looked at inshaAllah. Yes it does increase with stress, so try to improve your mood - work with the community, or find a productive hobby. And try to find someone you trust and love in real life who you can confide in, sometimes to have a shoulder to cry on is such a huge relief.

[muslim brother]

it appears you may be my daughters age

talk to your parents
and your situation is quite common
its not easy but in the future you will look back and think it wasnt so tough after all
welcome to adult life...
but always ask for ease and comfort in life and we have to remain patient and positive too,always.

things will get better..they always do..remain with positive people .and take this time to get close to allah taala..
maybe thats what he wants...he wants you,and that is the greatest blessing

[t123]

Thankyou for your advice and kind words bro, i will definitely take on what you have said. Again, jazakallah

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[t123]

Jazakallah for the advice, i think i would definitely find it difficult to speak to my parents about this, but i will try to remain positive inshallah

[greenhill]

First of all, welcome to the forum.

A desperate call for help for a first post.

It is not meant to be. There is purpose to these tests. Sis. noraina did explain well. .

That is the magic of time. It never stops. You just have to be with it. You have learnt a very powerful lesson. You cannot have love in your life for now. You have to heal yourself. You have to de stress yourself, as you correctly pointed out how it has affected your eczema. This thing you're putting yourself through is bad for your total being.

Get your mind right, dear. Then take care of health and get back your focus.

Love will come again later, and you'll be wiser too.


Wishing you a great stay.


:peace:

[t123]

Jazakallah for the kind words and advice❤️

[greenhill]

You know, you mentioned that you feel your entire life has gone DOWNHILL was too close to my own name here.. ha ha


:peace:

[Nobody's Girl]

Dear sister,

I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this. You are strong and brave and God loves you. You are also not alone. Depression is a serious mental illness that can lead to very harmful actions. Please go see a psychiatric to treat this illness.

God loves you. He is testing you to purify your soul so that you can only be attachef to him and you have a great reward if you are patient.

As for the man, I know it can be crushing to lose a loved one. Especially someone you have been genuinely in love with but God lets something go for the better to come. In the meantime find a hobby to keep yourself busy. Or maybe go to the library and borrow some of your favourite books. Just do your best to avert your mind from thinking about him.


You are loved and cherished, this will make you a much better and positive person. Have faith and God willing you will succeed.

[t123]

Thankyou so much for your genuine concern and kind words.. it's rare to find people that actually care.

[mission2succeed]

Salam dear brothers and sisters, I would like to ask in advance for you all to forgive me if i say something that may be offensive to any of you.
Recently I feel like my entire life has gone downhill, I feel lonely, depressed, stressed, and sometimes suicidal. I feel like no one understands and nobody can help me. Indeed I am aware of the fact that only Allah can replace sadness with happiness, after all He created us, yet i have begged, i have cried, I have prayed and He doesn't seem to answer my prayers. Sometimes i find myself falling to the floor asking 'why me?' 'what have i done to deserve this?' 'please stop.' I have recently been through a breakup. I am aware that relationships are haram but i am genuinely in love with the man and only had intentions to marry him, no zina was committed, we have never touched one another. We were together for a very long time and now that he has left me i find myself asking Allah why He brought him into my life only to take him away again leaving me heartbroken. I have never felt so empty or broken in my entire life. On top of this, i am also a sufferer of eczema. My eczema has never been bad but over the past few weeks it has spread all over my ENTIRE body. I only ever had it on my arms, this is unnatural but a common trigger is stress. It is clear to me what i am stressed about and i cry and cry to Allah to relieve me of my stress and depression but He doesnt seem to help me, what am i doing wrong? my eczema makes me feel ugly and insecure, sometimes i just want to put an end to the pain by killing myself. I feel like hiding myself away from the world, sometimes i even think that someone may have given me the evil eye. Do any of you have advice for me on what to do about the evil eye? I am a college student and I cant even concentrate in my classes, i cant focus on my work, this could not all be happening at a worse time for me. I feel like i am failing myself and failing education which is sad because i am generally a bright student alhamdulillah. Ya Allah, I feel so helpless, please if any of you brothers and sisters have advice for me do share it, i feel like nobody understands, please share your thoughts with me, jazakallah

:salam:

Dear Sis I hear you loud and clear and so does your creator.
We all know this life is a test and it can be very challenging at times. However, sis with what you have mentioned above with the given experience I have in this field. I do believe you have been inflicted with the 'evil eye or 'black magic' therefore you need to treat yourself by performing self-ruqiyah. The link below gives you access to videos that show you how to perform it. If after watching it you are still confused or you have more questions get in touch with me sis by sending me a message. May Allah make your matters easy insha'allah.

http://ummahboard.com/showthread.php...Saeed-Abdullah

[Little_Lion]

I too suffer from depression. Medication has made all the difference in the world. As the saying (I don't believe it is a hadith) goes, "Trust in Allah, but tie your camel tight." Yes, Allah can always help you, but that help might be in the form of a doctor's help. Don't be afraid to see a professional about this.

Also, if you do not have one, have you considered getting a pet like a cat to help with your depression? Caring for another of Allah's creatures can do wonders for your mental health.

[t123]

Wow, thankyou so much for sharing this with me.. it's scary to think I may have actually been inflicted with the evil eye. I shall watch the videos tomorrow inshallah and will message you if im still confused. Jazakallah

[t123]

Jazakallah for the advice, in fact I am seeing a doctor today inshallah about getting me some sort of medication or even counselling to make things easier inshallah. Im sorry to hear that you are also suffering from depression, may Allah give you shifa Ameen

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum,

Sorry to hear about what you are going through. May Allah grant you ease during this difficult time ameen.

Firstly, concentrate on what you can control in your life, this being your education. Don't ruin one thing just because you feel other things are in ruins.

Secondly, it could very well be that your eczema is triggered through stress. Try natural products that reduce inflammation such as curcumin/turmeric, honey, and taking omega-3 supplements, and stop dwelling on the past.

And lastly about your relationship, you have to put it in your mind that nothing escapes our destiny. If this man is not destined for you, you have to accept that because it may very well be that you each will have partners much better than you were for each other. You don't have a right to ask "Why me" during your worst moments...what were you asking during your happiest moments? Say Alhemdulilah, make du'a that Allah grant you that which is better for you, and ask for forgiveness. The fact that you are unable to accept Allah's decree and thinking about suicide shows how low your iman is right now. There is NOTHING in this world that is more worthy than your worship and good deeds, not a man whom you love nor a cure for an incurable disease. So don't allow yourself to whither on your worship based on how "happy" you are in your life. We turn to Allah during our times of need, and sometimes ALlah removes everything from our path so that we are humiliated to the point that we are desperate for Him and come to the realization that He is all that matters.

[skypilot]

wa 'alaikumussalaam

Breakups take time to heal from.
You're not the only one, this happens with many people.
Just take it one day at a time. Get rid of things which remind you of him. Be more practising. Make taubah. Listen to reminders about the Day of Judgment, death, life in the grave, Heaven and Hell.
Time washes everything away. Don't intentionally cling on to feelings of the past. Thoughts will obviously come to your head, you can't really stop it. But don't deliberately dwell over it. And try to keep yourself occupied with other things.
Also, if possible, you should seriously consider seeing a doctor and getting medication.

Sometimes we want things we think are good for us, but Allah knows things we don't know.

[Adam20]

Depression is a part of life and every person once in a life time goes through it. It happens to everyone. Every person have different difficulties.You say that your prayers are not answerd. Rather than thinking about the prayers that are not answered, think and count the blessings your Allah has given you. Even if you start to count you cannot. Allah gives us so many blessings and yet we say our prayers are not answered. If Allah will give us everything we desire then we will forget him because we are selfish. We only pay attention to what we don't have and forget every blessing he has given us. We should thank Allah for everything he has given us. He feeds us, protects us from things we know and from things we do not know and yet we complain. He help us when we need help. No one else come to our rescue. He feed us daily when we do not thank him. He is very merciful, Kind and caring.
There are three ways the prayers are answered.

1. One is where you ask for something from your Allah and He give you what you want right away.
2. Second is when you ask Allah for something and He give you something better
3. and third is where you wait and then Allah gives you the best thing

To get rid of depression think positive, trust Allah (He knows what is best for us) , be patient and take help from prayers. Depression is like a dark tunnel but you will soon get out of this tunnel. Light always come after the darkness. Hang in there because you are not alone... Difficulties are part of life and keep your brain busy in studies so it does not think about negative stuff.

[Hafiz Ikram]

Every one goes through situations like yours at some stage of one's life. The important thing to remember is it should not taken too seriously as it fades after some time. Try learning how to improve your self esteem and self confidence. Never let yourself suffer from inferiority complex. Every human being is different and unique and should be proud of it. Have faith in yourself and be confident about how and how you are.

[t123]

Thankyou for the wise words, you are correct, i must accept that this man may not be written in my destiny..

[t123]

thankyou for your advice

[t123]

thankyou for the advice

[mission2succeed]

Wow, thankyou so much for sharing this with me.. it's scary to think I may have actually been inflicted with the evil eye. I shall watch the videos tomorrow inshallah and will message you if im still confused. Jazakallah

Your welcome sis I'm glad I can be of some help insha'allah.

[t123]

Thankyou for your advice, i agree, Allah blesses us with many things and we don't thank him enough, i will have patience and hope for the best inshallah

[TheMirza]

Salam, I feel I can understand exactly what you are going through,
I really don't know what advice to give exactly, I am sorry, But what I know is everything will get better, you always see people saying this, and you think no! time will pass but things will hurt as much as they hurt now, but no, with time you learn to deal with everything beautifully, and months from now you will look back at yourself and feel extremely happy and thankful to Allah for making you the person you have become after passing through that storm.
Pray consistently, talk to Him whenever you feel sad, pour your heart out to Him, not to people, cz He can change things, people can't. Read morning and evening Adkaar, and be patient with a beautiful patience.

Patience and prayer is the key. Its actually as simple as that.

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you t123;

thankyou for your advice

Despite all your problems, your replies always say, thank you. Being grateful, means you are already on the road to healing, and this is a story I often tell on this forum....

I met a homeless man around midnight, he had been homeless for about six years, and suffered with depression at times. He was looking for somewhere to sleep. He said every night when he finds somewhere to sleep, he thanks God for all the good things of the day. It was a humbling experience to listen to this man being grateful, he carried his home in a bag, some days he went hungry, and did not speak to anyone.

You are suffering a form of bereavement, and I heard it explained this way, if you spent say ten hours a week with this person, you are suffering the loss of ten hours of doing something that was meaningful for you. What you now need to do, is find something meaningful every week to fill those ten hours. Devote that ten hours a week to Allah in some way, doing voluntary work is so healing, when you help others.

In the spirit of never giving up hope in Allah.

Eric

[Serinity]

:salam:

Sister, when I was at the edge of despair or felt despair in my heart, I opened the Quran and read:

20:2

We have not sent down to you the Qur'an that you be distressed

20:3

But only as a reminder for those who fear [ Allah ]

So, sis. you fear Allah, and take this as a lesson to not form haram relationships, and I know (from what you wrote) that you only intended good (marriage)

Remember, for every hardship, there is ease. That ease will be better than the hardship, afaik.

Try to do dhikr, say Alhamdulillah, Allahu akbar, and SubhanAllah (33 + 33 + 34 = 100)

may Allah ease your hardships, and guide you towards Him. Ameen.

Peace be upon those who follow guidance.

And Allah :swt: knows best.