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alisha823
11-01-2016, 12:54 PM
I have been going through a bit of a tough time recently. I've entered a new stage in life and things aren't going very well. I am feeling very alone and just lost and confused. I used to be very ambitious, very energetic and just happy. Now, it is a struggle for me to even get out of bed. Everything scares me. I try to meet new people but I just get anxious. I try to make friends but I feel like no one wants to be my friend. Some people don't even acknowledge me when I'm standing with a group of people. I've always been an introvert which was fine. I enjoyed my solitude and I was happy with it. Now, I feel very alone. I've tried to put myself out of my comfort zone but sadly to no avail.
I think it has started since my fiance became depressed. I have known him for over a year and we were supposed to be getting married soon. However, he has gone into depression and now doesn't even know if he wants to marry me anymore. He says I deserve better but I just want to support him and help him get better. It's making everything hard because for the first month or so, I kept blaming myself and thinking that I couldn't make him happy.
Sadly, I have ended up going down a bad path and just gotten even further from Allah. Despite knowing that I shouldn't do some things, I still do them. I just don't know how to turn to Allah anymore. I keep wishing for my sadness to end. I wish for my fiance to get better and I wish I could help him more.
I wish I could feel some sort of aspiration again and no longer be scared of everything. I always intend to do things but can never bring myself to actually do them. I can't pray any more because I just don't have that motivation anymore. I feel no joy and just feel invisible. Suddenly, everything has kind of been pushed back and I just keep thinking why am I so alone? Why can I not be happy for once? I keep blaming myself for his depression. And I just don't know what to do anymore. I've cried so much in the last 2 months; I didn't think I even had any more tears left. I look around and I just see other people have it so easy. I've had a tough life. Nothing has come to me easily. Last year, I got engaged and it was honestly the best time of my life. I thought this is when everything changes. I know life is not easy but it's not this hard for everyone. I look around and everyone else just seems to have something. A goal. People around them. Just something that helps them keep going. And I feel like I don't have anything anymore.
As I write this, I do realise that I have a lot to be grateful for. And I know that other people also face hardship in life. But right now, for some reason, I just can't see beyond my own pain. I tried to get involved with charity work to help those who are even less fortunate than I. It was really good and helped me feel like I was working for something. But it hasn't helped me lose this feeling. I just don't know what to do. I have this emptiness and sadness that is just overtaking my life. It's a struggle to do anything. Please keep me in your duas and pray that Allah guides me. I really need His guidance right now.

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*charisma*
11-01-2016, 01:49 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

When we are in love and care very deeply about someone, and they become part of our daily lives, I think that we start to lose our individuality and see ourselves as a part of each other. I think this is what has happened to you. You cannot let yourself go down into this deep hole just because your fiance is depressed. You have to be the stronger one and the rock when your partner is in a crisis like this. If you are more upbeat and positive, perhaps that would rub on him as well and he will get better, but you can't put all of your focus and worries into this relationship, especially if it's not a sure thing yet (ie. not married).

Secondly, I'm an introvert too, but being an introvert doesn't mean you can't have friends or that you have to get out of your comfort zone to make them. Instead of trying to change that aspect of yourself and comparing yourself to others, try to find hobbies and things that you like to do or can be passionate about and through that you'll find people who have the same interests. You mentioned that you did some charity work, maybe continue with that. Even though it didn't give you 100% what you were looking for, it did alleviate some of that pain you're feeling; 50% of feeling some happiness is better than a 100% of sulking.

Lastly, don't ever quit prayer. I know you've lost motivation, but the more you move away from Allah the more miserable you will feel. Success comes from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala: “And my success cannot come from any source besides God. I have put my trust in Him.” (Quran 11:88). You have to put your reliance in him and stop worrying about everything. Even if you and your fiance do not end up together, you have to be strong enough to accept that, and that strength cannot come except through a strong iman, because as believers we have to trust that Allah removes from our paths those things which are not the best for us and replaces them with things which are better. We attain the good life through doing good deeds, istighfar (asking Allah for forgiveness), and saying Alhemdulilah for what we do have. Sadness/depression comes from shaytaan and we have to do our best to wear it off as quickly as possible. Also you should not be so connected with your fiance that when he is affected so negatively you are as well to the point that it pushes you away from your worship. This is an unhealthy relationship. I understand that it's a very difficult thing to go through, but you can't be swayed by others so easily like that.
Reply

aaj
11-01-2016, 02:50 PM
:salam:

I have to agree with sister Charisma on this. When we get involved in any relationship, that relationship can override our own sense of being and we start think of all of it as one unit rather then thinking of ourselves as an individual who needs to deal with the situation in the relationship and treat the relationship as a separate unit you are part of.

Abu Hurayrah (radi Allahu anhu) reported: I heard the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) saying, “Man follows his friend’s religion, you should be careful who you take for friends.” Prophet Muhammad also reiterated this point when he told the story of the blacksmith and the perfume seller. The example of a good companion (friend) in comparison with a bad one is like that of one who sells musk and the blacksmith. From the first, you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell, while from the blacksmith you would either get burned or smell a bad scent.

I"m not saying the hadith to break up with your fiance but to make a different point. The hadith talks about rubbing off of on you and the influence a companion has on you. Normally there are two types of people. The one who influences you and the one you influence. Which one is which depends on who has stronger and overpowering personality. There are friends who make their bad friends become good and friends who turn their good friends into bad like them. I think you have the weaker personality in that you are influenced by his depression, so much so that now it is affecting you as well. First, you have to realize that you are being affected by this and it's turning you into same as him as far as your state of mind is concerned. You have to step back and remember who you were and what made you happy and outgoing person before. Write down all the things that made you what you were before and then write down all the stuff that is stopping you from being that way. And then see how you can change that.

While I do understand your need to help your fiance out of depression. Being in the same state won't help him. Rather you should be the positive force that makes him see the positiveness of life and snap out of it. Also, as Charisma said, he is your fiance and not your husband. He is still a non-mahram and you may be too invested in this emotionally and you may need to step back a little and see it from your old self and see how you can help in light of Islam and as the old you. Being too emotionally attached will affect you and may hurt you more if he can't get out of it and wants to call it all off.

Regarding being alone. It can be hard to make friends when you are depressed. You should go to halaqas at your masjid or some other Islamic gatherings where you can meet sisters. Being in positive environment will help you get out of your depressive state inshallah. Also, see if you can pick out one sister you think is similar the old you and someone you can get along well and approach her alone and make friends with her. Trying to make friends with everyone can be exhaustive. Focus on one person and try to make friends with her. This way not only you will end up with quality friends but they will slowly grow as well.

Also, the charity and volunteering helped, even if a little. Don't quit on those and inshallah continue to work with them. Helping others gives one a sense of purpose and accomplishment. It also helps realize one realize that others, despite all their hardship, are still struggling to live a happy life. It makes you appreciate life a bit more. It's something you should have your fiance do as well. Being a loner will only make depression worst. He should get out and meet people and do volunteer work.

Lastly, do not give up your salah. Rather you should increase in it. Prayer is a shield against the shaytan and his diseases like depression. Read the Quran as there is healing in it and play Quran in the house, especially the last Quls and surah Baqarah to make the shayateens run away from your house.
Reply

mission2succeed
11-02-2016, 01:25 PM
Originally Posted by alisha823
I have been going through a bit of a tough time recently. I've entered a new stage in life and things aren't going very well. I am feeling very alone and just lost and confused. I used to be very ambitious, very energetic and just happy. Now, it is a struggle for me to even get out of bed. Everything scares me. I try to meet new people but I just get anxious. I try to make friends but I feel like no one wants to be my friend. Some people don't even acknowledge me when I'm standing with a group of people. I've always been an introvert which was fine. I enjoyed my solitude and I was happy with it. Now, I feel very alone. I've tried to put myself out of my comfort zone but sadly to no avail.
I think it has started since my fiance became depressed. I have known him for over a year and we were supposed to be getting married soon. However, he has gone into depression and now doesn't even know if he wants to marry me anymore. He says I deserve better but I just want to support him and help him get better. It's making everything hard because for the first month or so, I kept blaming myself and thinking that I couldn't make him happy.
Sadly, I have ended up going down a bad path and just gotten even further from Allah. Despite knowing that I shouldn't do some things, I still do them. I just don't know how to turn to Allah anymore. I keep wishing for my sadness to end. I wish for my fiance to get better and I wish I could help him more.
I wish I could feel some sort of aspiration again and no longer be scared of everything. I always intend to do things but can never bring myself to actually do them. I can't pray any more because I just don't have that motivation anymore. I feel no joy and just feel invisible. Suddenly, everything has kind of been pushed back and I just keep thinking why am I so alone? Why can I not be happy for once? I keep blaming myself for his depression. And I just don't know what to do anymore. I've cried so much in the last 2 months; I didn't think I even had any more tears left. I look around and I just see other people have it so easy. I've had a tough life. Nothing has come to me easily. Last year, I got engaged and it was honestly the best time of my life. I thought this is when everything changes. I know life is not easy but it's not this hard for everyone. I look around and everyone else just seems to have something. A goal. People around them. Just something that helps them keep going. And I feel like I don't have anything anymore.
As I write this, I do realise that I have a lot to be grateful for. And I know that other people also face hardship in life. But right now, for some reason, I just can't see beyond my own pain. I tried to get involved with charity work to help those who are even less fortunate than I. It was really good and helped me feel like I was working for something. But it hasn't helped me lose this feeling. I just don't know what to do. I have this emptiness and sadness that is just overtaking my life. It's a struggle to do anything. Please keep me in your duas and pray that Allah guides me. I really need His guidance right now.
I read your message and understood what you are going through. I will not give you any advise about yourself and how to deal with your problems because from the way you talk it shows you are an intelligent person. So you know yourself better than anyone else.
Do not try to burden yourself with guilt for no reason. Just be proud of yourself. who cares what others thinks about you as long as you are satisfied with yourself and Allah is satisfied with you.

Once I mentioned a story about a man who was crippled, he has a skin illness, blind can not see and his two arms were impetrated and people always see him saying Alhamdulillah. they asked him ,you have all these problems in your body and you still say Alhamdulillah, he replied : Allah gave me a healthy tongue so I can make tesbeah , tahmead and tahleal why should not I be thankful for that. if you can see that this man did not see the empty three quarter of the cup holding the water but he saw the one quarter of the water in the cup . from that you and all of us should know that satisfaction is a treasure we should cherish.

Most of the depression happens when a person is a way from Allah. Why? because the lack of faith will open the doors for the Shaytan to inter to our lives and manipulate us so why we should invite him to do that and our profit told us that the believer in this life is like a traveller who saw a tree during his trip, sat beneath it for a while and then he left it to continue his trip. the same for us, we are all in a trip in this life on our way to the life after ,so why we should waste our time in unimportant things and leave the important things a side!!?.

Why should you care if x or y from people like you or not. as long as you satisfied with yourself that is more than enough. the others if they like you for yourself ,so be it and if not who cares. After all you can not satisfy all people as hard as you try ,so why you waste your time in doing it. Try to satisfy Allah. If a person obeyed Allah the way he likes, Allah will make all the people like this person. so why you do not try to satisfy Allah and leave satisfying the people a side

Coming to your fiancé and his depression. As I mentioned above that depression comes from lake of faith. If you pray ,do your Adhkar and make your heart connected to Allah, Depression will not come near your door. and if you are a way from Allah, the Shaytan will be near you and not only depression will nock your door but all other problems as well because your heart now belongs to the dunyah so you have to live all its problems.

Do not be Sad if your fiancé said that he wants to stop the marriage, you never know , maybe this will be in your favour. Did not Allah said in the Quran that you maybe hate something and it is good for you and you may like soothing and it is bad for you and Allah knows and you all do not know. If Allah has chosen this person to be your future husband he will be and if not he will not be after all nothing happens without Allah's wish. if you believe in that everything else will be easier in your life.

Coming to the solution to your case.

If you want to get rid off all the things you mentioned in your letter you should do the following

1- you should first do the most important thing and that is performing the 5 daily prayers, there is no reason what so ever you do not pray even if you have all the problems in the world you should keep praying because simply it is the rope between you and Allah and by not performing it you are cutting this rope. so how you suppose Allah will accept you Do'aa and help you when you do not pray?!!.

2- try to read Quran every day even if it is one page. If you want to talk to Allah, read the Quran and if you want Allah to talk to you , simply..... you pray.

3- read Surat yaseen once in the morning and once in the evenings everyday. You intention will be that Allah will make things easier in your life.

4- take a cup of water and recite on it Surat al ensherah 3 or 7 times and blow after each time in to the water and drink half of the cup and wipe your face and chest with the rest. do it everyday.

5- do the spiritual shower which I posted on this forum when ever you feel you need to.

The above can be applied to your fiancé . he should also do it.

Believe me if you do the above you will start feeling the changes in your life.

Also I want you to take a cup of water and recite Ayat al qursi on the water 7 times and blow into the water every time and give it toy your fiancé to drink it and let me know what was the taste of the water he felt .

If you have any questions let me know insha'allah
Reply

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crimsontide06
11-02-2016, 03:05 PM
Along with the things already mentioned ^

Maybe it would be good to listen to some Islamic speakers? Try Yasmin Mogahed, on youtube (type her name then Hope in Allah).. she has more but thats a good one.
Reply

alisha823
11-02-2016, 05:38 PM
Originally Posted by *charisma*
Assalamu Alaikum

When we are in love and care very deeply about someone, and they become part of our daily lives, I think that we start to lose our individuality and see ourselves as a part of each other. I think this is what has happened to you. You cannot let yourself go down into this deep hole just because your fiance is depressed. You have to be the stronger one and the rock when your partner is in a crisis like this. If you are more upbeat and positive, perhaps that would rub on him as well and he will get better, but you can't put all of your focus and worries into this relationship, especially if it's not a sure thing yet (ie. not married).

Secondly, I'm an introvert too, but being an introvert doesn't mean you can't have friends or that you have to get out of your comfort zone to make them. Instead of trying to change that aspect of yourself and comparing yourself to others, try to find hobbies and things that you like to do or can be passionate about and through that you'll find people who have the same interests. You mentioned that you did some charity work, maybe continue with that. Even though it didn't give you 100% what you were looking for, it did alleviate some of that pain you're feeling; 50% of feeling some happiness is better than a 100% of sulking.

Lastly, don't ever quit prayer. I know you've lost motivation, but the more you move away from Allah the more miserable you will feel. Success comes from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala: “And my success cannot come from any source besides God. I have put my trust in Him.” (Quran 11:88). You have to put your reliance in him and stop worrying about everything. Even if you and your fiance do not end up together, you have to be strong enough to accept that, and that strength cannot come except through a strong iman, because as believers we have to trust that Allah removes from our paths those things which are not the best for us and replaces them with things which are better. We attain the good life through doing good deeds, istighfar (asking Allah for forgiveness), and saying Alhemdulilah for what we do have. Sadness/depression comes from shaytaan and we have to do our best to wear it off as quickly as possible. Also you should not be so connected with your fiance that when he is affected so negatively you are as well to the point that it pushes you away from your worship. This is an unhealthy relationship. I understand that it's a very difficult thing to go through, but you can't be swayed by others so easily like that.
Jazakallah Khair
Reply

alisha823
11-02-2016, 05:38 PM
Originally Posted by aaj
:salam:

I have to agree with sister Charisma on this. When we get involved in any relationship, that relationship can override our own sense of being and we start think of all of it as one unit rather then thinking of ourselves as an individual who needs to deal with the situation in the relationship and treat the relationship as a separate unit you are part of.

Abu Hurayrah (radi Allahu anhu) reported: I heard the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) saying, “Man follows his friend’s religion, you should be careful who you take for friends.” Prophet Muhammad also reiterated this point when he told the story of the blacksmith and the perfume seller. The example of a good companion (friend) in comparison with a bad one is like that of one who sells musk and the blacksmith. From the first, you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell, while from the blacksmith you would either get burned or smell a bad scent.

I"m not saying the hadith to break up with your fiance but to make a different point. The hadith talks about rubbing off of on you and the influence a companion has on you. Normally there are two types of people. The one who influences you and the one you influence. Which one is which depends on who has stronger and overpowering personality. There are friends who make their bad friends become good and friends who turn their good friends into bad like them. I think you have the weaker personality in that you are influenced by his depression, so much so that now it is affecting you as well. First, you have to realize that you are being affected by this and it's turning you into same as him as far as your state of mind is concerned. You have to step back and remember who you were and what made you happy and outgoing person before. Write down all the things that made you what you were before and then write down all the stuff that is stopping you from being that way. And then see how you can change that.

While I do understand your need to help your fiance out of depression. Being in the same state won't help him. Rather you should be the positive force that makes him see the positiveness of life and snap out of it. Also, as Charisma said, he is your fiance and not your husband. He is still a non-mahram and you may be too invested in this emotionally and you may need to step back a little and see it from your old self and see how you can help in light of Islam and as the old you. Being too emotionally attached will affect you and may hurt you more if he can't get out of it and wants to call it all off.

Regarding being alone. It can be hard to make friends when you are depressed. You should go to halaqas at your masjid or some other Islamic gatherings where you can meet sisters. Being in positive environment will help you get out of your depressive state inshallah. Also, see if you can pick out one sister you think is similar the old you and someone you can get along well and approach her alone and make friends with her. Trying to make friends with everyone can be exhaustive. Focus on one person and try to make friends with her. This way not only you will end up with quality friends but they will slowly grow as well.

Also, the charity and volunteering helped, even if a little. Don't quit on those and inshallah continue to work with them. Helping others gives one a sense of purpose and accomplishment. It also helps realize one realize that others, despite all their hardship, are still struggling to live a happy life. It makes you appreciate life a bit more. It's something you should have your fiance do as well. Being a loner will only make depression worst. He should get out and meet people and do volunteer work.

Lastly, do not give up your salah. Rather you should increase in it. Prayer is a shield against the shaytan and his diseases like depression. Read the Quran as there is healing in it and play Quran in the house, especially the last Quls and surah Baqarah to make the shayateens run away from your house.
Jazakallah Khair
Reply

alisha823
11-02-2016, 05:41 PM
Originally Posted by crimsontide06
Along with the things already mentioned ^

Maybe it would be good to listen to some Islamic speakers? Try Yasmin Mogahed, on youtube (type her name then Hope in Allah).. she has more but thats a good one.
Jazakallah Khair.
I haven't listened to Hope in Allah yet but I did read one of her pieces and it was really amazing. It really helped me understand a lot about my own situation. So thank you so much for mentioning that. I will definitely listen to her speech too inshAllah
Reply

alisha823
11-02-2016, 05:42 PM
Originally Posted by mission2succeed
I read your message and understood what you are going through. I will not give you any advise about yourself and how to deal with your problems because from the way you talk it shows you are an intelligent person. So you know yourself better than anyone else.
Do not try to burden yourself with guilt for no reason. Just be proud of yourself. who cares what others thinks about you as long as you are satisfied with yourself and Allah is satisfied with you.

Once I mentioned a story about a man who was crippled, he has a skin illness, blind can not see and his two arms were impetrated and people always see him saying Alhamdulillah. they asked him ,you have all these problems in your body and you still say Alhamdulillah, he replied : Allah gave me a healthy tongue so I can make tesbeah , tahmead and tahleal why should not I be thankful for that. if you can see that this man did not see the empty three quarter of the cup holding the water but he saw the one quarter of the water in the cup . from that you and all of us should know that satisfaction is a treasure we should cherish.

Most of the depression happens when a person is a way from Allah. Why? because the lack of faith will open the doors for the Shaytan to inter to our lives and manipulate us so why we should invite him to do that and our profit told us that the believer in this life is like a traveller who saw a tree during his trip, sat beneath it for a while and then he left it to continue his trip. the same for us, we are all in a trip in this life on our way to the life after ,so why we should waste our time in unimportant things and leave the important things a side!!?.

Why should you care if x or y from people like you or not. as long as you satisfied with yourself that is more than enough. the others if they like you for yourself ,so be it and if not who cares. After all you can not satisfy all people as hard as you try ,so why you waste your time in doing it. Try to satisfy Allah. If a person obeyed Allah the way he likes, Allah will make all the people like this person. so why you do not try to satisfy Allah and leave satisfying the people a side

Coming to your fiancé and his depression. As I mentioned above that depression comes from lake of faith. If you pray ,do your Adhkar and make your heart connected to Allah, Depression will not come near your door. and if you are a way from Allah, the Shaytan will be near you and not only depression will nock your door but all other problems as well because your heart now belongs to the dunyah so you have to live all its problems.

Do not be Sad if your fiancé said that he wants to stop the marriage, you never know , maybe this will be in your favour. Did not Allah said in the Quran that you maybe hate something and it is good for you and you may like soothing and it is bad for you and Allah knows and you all do not know. If Allah has chosen this person to be your future husband he will be and if not he will not be after all nothing happens without Allah's wish. if you believe in that everything else will be easier in your life.

Coming to the solution to your case.

If you want to get rid off all the things you mentioned in your letter you should do the following

1- you should first do the most important thing and that is performing the 5 daily prayers, there is no reason what so ever you do not pray even if you have all the problems in the world you should keep praying because simply it is the rope between you and Allah and by not performing it you are cutting this rope. so how you suppose Allah will accept you Do'aa and help you when you do not pray?!!.

2- try to read Quran every day even if it is one page. If you want to talk to Allah, read the Quran and if you want Allah to talk to you , simply..... you pray.

3- read Surat yaseen once in the morning and once in the evenings everyday. You intention will be that Allah will make things easier in your life.

4- take a cup of water and recite on it Surat al ensherah 3 or 7 times and blow after each time in to the water and drink half of the cup and wipe your face and chest with the rest. do it everyday.

5- do the spiritual shower which I posted on this forum when ever you feel you need to.

The above can be applied to your fiancé . he should also do it.

Believe me if you do the above you will start feeling the changes in your life.

Also I want you to take a cup of water and recite Ayat al qursi on the water 7 times and blow into the water every time and give it toy your fiancé to drink it and let me know what was the taste of the water he felt .

If you have any questions let me know insha'allah
Jazakallah Khair for your advice sister
I really appreciate it.
I will definitely try your advice insha'Allah. Unfortunately, I cannot follow your advice for my fiance at the moment as he has gone away for a while. But I will definitely try to do the things you said for myself. InshAllah.
Thank you so much for being kind and for understanding my situation. Your words meant a lot to me and everything you said really touched me and helped me realise my shortcomings.
Please keep me in your duas as I will keep you in mine.
Reply

mission2succeed
11-02-2016, 10:41 PM
Originally Posted by alisha823
Jazakallah Khair for your advice sister
I really appreciate it.
I will definitely try your advice insha'Allah. Unfortunately, I cannot follow your advice for my fiance at the moment as he has gone away for a while. But I will definitely try to do the things you said for myself. InshAllah.
Thank you so much for being kind and for understanding my situation. Your words meant a lot to me and everything you said really touched me and helped me realise my shortcomings.
Please keep me in your duas as I will keep you in mine.
Insha'allah Barakallah feek sis let me know how you get on and if you have any further questions insha'allah
Reply

Delete.
11-03-2016, 06:41 PM
A'salamu alaykum. Are you feeling better, sister?
Reply

alisha823
11-04-2016, 02:38 PM
Originally Posted by ___
A'salamu alaykum. Are you feeling better, sister?
Wa alaikum salam sister.
Jazakallah khair for asking.
I have been praying much more recently as other brothers and sisters recommended. And Alhamdulillah, I have been feeling much better. It's only been a couple of days but I have this contentment in my heart and I don't feel so alone or scared anymore.
I know I still have a lot to do and this is only the beginning but it feels like I'm on a good path again. InshAllah, I will be able to remain on it.
There's still a lot of difficulties in my life but I don't worry about them as I was doing before. I just pray to Allah for guidance and ease.
If you can recommend anything else, please do so as I would really appreciate it.
And please keep me in your duas as I keep all of you in mine.
Jazakallah khair to all of you for reminding me of what is important and what I should focus on.
Reply

greenhill
11-04-2016, 04:41 PM
Welcome to the forum.

In life, we will be given many, many trials and in many different ways. In the end, it is about how we dal with it. remember that it is us who needs Allah, not the other way round. In my still relatively young at 49, I remember several occasions were calamities, but many, many years on …… my heart is still beating and I have passed that critical stage… whatever it was, it is now a distant memory...

What became clear though, was that I could have made those years more fruitful by realizing that there is only so much we can be sorry for ourselves, after that, we have to focus on getting out of the doldrums.

On reaching out, my suggestion is first, to think well, do well and say well. If it does not 'gel' then you might reconsider being there in the first place. Do not try to be someone else to gain friends. Topics of conversation is always a tough one. Maintaining conversation is another one. Or being a good listener? Don't cry out for attention.. ha ha .. Seeing as you are just starting out, learn to be yourself. It will take time. You might find it less stressful than trying to be a person for someone else.

Wishing you a great stay.


:peace:
Reply

Delete.
11-04-2016, 08:47 PM
Originally Posted by alisha823
Wa alaikum salam sister.
Jazakallah khair for asking.
I have been praying much more recently as other brothers and sisters recommended. And Alhamdulillah, I have been feeling much better. It's only been a couple of days but I have this contentment in my heart and I don't feel so alone or scared anymore.
I know I still have a lot to do and this is only the beginning but it feels like I'm on a good path again. InshAllah, I will be able to remain on it.
There's still a lot of difficulties in my life but I don't worry about them as I was doing before. I just pray to Allah for guidance and ease.
If you can recommend anything else, please do so as I would really appreciate it.
And please keep me in your duas as I keep all of you in mine.
Jazakallah khair to all of you for reminding me of what is important and what I should focus on.
You already have the best of advice, to keep steadfast in your Salah. Pray the 5 daily prayers even if you desperately don't feel like. We all have times of high and low imaan, keeping steadfast in our Salah, no matter what, is the best thing we can do for ourselves and our Deen. Allah knows best.
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huma89
11-04-2016, 11:55 PM
Hi All, im feeling alone and bery lost...... i went and done umrah and came back and felt like i wouldnt sin again and put my past behind me but I recently sinned again and now infeel like allah wont forgive me because i done it again. What do i do? I feel like giving up on trying to be close to Allah
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فصيح الياسين
11-05-2016, 12:04 AM
Originally Posted by huma89
Hi All, im feeling alone and bery lost...... i went and done umrah and came back and felt like i wouldnt sin again and put my past behind me but I recently sinned again and now infeel like allah wont forgive me because i done it again. What do i do? I feel like giving up on trying to be close to Allah
Repent to allah alot. And cut the supplies i mean. Leave the places where sin occurs.. finish the conditions of sins.. one all the causes and reasons which make u to approach to sins are cut off u wont do.. hating sin and prevent urself frm it AND CAUSES OF SINS ARE DIFFERRNT.. ONE CAN BE SAVED FROM IT WHEN HE DO THESE TOGETHER
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Delete.
11-05-2016, 12:09 AM
Originally Posted by huma89
Hi All, im feeling alone and bery lost...... i went and done umrah and came back and felt like i wouldnt sin again and put my past behind me but I recently sinned again and now infeel like allah wont forgive me because i done it again. What do i do? I feel like giving up on trying to be close to Allah
A'salamu alaykum. All Bani Adam are sinners, but the believers are the ones who are consistent in repenting for their sins. Don't lose hope in the Mercy of Allah, this is the plot of shaytan. We can never be free of sin, but if we continue to repent to Allah, He will surely accept our sincere repentance. Make it your resolution to not sin again, and if you do, continue to seek repentance. That is our struggle in this dunya. The people of Jannah will be sinners and the people of Jahannam will be sinners, but the people of Jannah repent and seek the Mercy of Allah, while the people of Jahannam are arrogant, and lose hope in Allah's Mercy. Hasten to do good deeds, and they will erase your bad deeds. This is Allah's Promise. And these are points that have been made in Qur'an and Ahadeeth. Allah knows best.
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