Originally Posted by alisha823
I read your message and understood what you are going through. I will not give you any advise about yourself and how to deal with your problems because from the way you talk it shows you are an intelligent person. So you know yourself better than anyone else.
Do not try to burden yourself with guilt for no reason. Just be proud of yourself. who cares what others thinks about you as long as you are satisfied with yourself and Allah is satisfied with you.
Once I mentioned a story about a man who was crippled, he has a skin illness, blind can not see and his two arms were impetrated and people always see him saying Alhamdulillah. they asked him ,you have all these problems in your body and you still say Alhamdulillah, he replied : Allah gave me a healthy tongue so I can make tesbeah , tahmead and tahleal why should not I be thankful for that. if you can see that this man did not see the empty three quarter of the cup holding the water but he saw the one quarter of the water in the cup . from that you and all of us should know that satisfaction is a treasure we should cherish.
Most of the depression happens when a person is a way from Allah. Why? because the lack of faith will open the doors for the Shaytan to inter to our lives and manipulate us so why we should invite him to do that and our profit told us that the believer in this life is like a traveller who saw a tree during his trip, sat beneath it for a while and then he left it to continue his trip. the same for us, we are all in a trip in this life on our way to the life after ,so why we should waste our time in unimportant things and leave the important things a side!!?.
Why should you care if x or y from people like you or not. as long as you satisfied with yourself that is more than enough. the others if they like you for yourself ,so be it and if not who cares. After all you can not satisfy all people as hard as you try ,so why you waste your time in doing it. Try to satisfy Allah. If a person obeyed Allah the way he likes, Allah will make all the people like this person. so why you do not try to satisfy Allah and leave satisfying the people a side
Coming to your fiancé and his depression. As I mentioned above that depression comes from lake of faith. If you pray ,do your Adhkar and make your heart connected to Allah, Depression will not come near your door. and if you are a way from Allah, the Shaytan will be near you and not only depression will nock your door but all other problems as well because your heart now belongs to the dunyah so you have to live all its problems.
Do not be Sad if your fiancé said that he wants to stop the marriage, you never know , maybe this will be in your favour. Did not Allah said in the Quran that you maybe hate something and it is good for you and you may like soothing and it is bad for you and Allah knows and you all do not know. If Allah has chosen this person to be your future husband he will be and if not he will not be after all nothing happens without Allah's wish. if you believe in that everything else will be easier in your life.
Coming to the solution to your case.
If you want to get rid off all the things you mentioned in your letter you should do the following
1- you should first do the most important thing and that is performing the 5 daily prayers, there is no reason what so ever you do not pray even if you have all the problems in the world you should keep praying because simply it is the rope between you and Allah and by not performing it you are cutting this rope. so how you suppose Allah will accept you Do'aa and help you when you do not pray?!!.
2- try to read Quran every day even if it is one page. If you want to talk to Allah, read the Quran and if you want Allah to talk to you , simply..... you pray.
3- read Surat yaseen once in the morning and once in the evenings everyday. You intention will be that Allah will make things easier in your life.
4- take a cup of water and recite on it Surat al ensherah 3 or 7 times and blow after each time in to the water and drink half of the cup and wipe your face and chest with the rest. do it everyday.
5- do the spiritual shower which I posted on this forum when ever you feel you need to.
The above can be applied to your fiancé . he should also do it.
Believe me if you do the above you will start feeling the changes in your life.
Also I want you to take a cup of water and recite Ayat al qursi on the water 7 times and blow into the water every time and give it toy your fiancé to drink it and let me know what was the taste of the water he felt .
If you have any questions let me know insha'allah