Greetings and peace be with you Roha Shama;
You may not understand this, but you are probably stronger than many of us on this forum. Most of us can get up in the morning, and not be too stressed about what the day will bring. But it sounds as if you have a list of worries to face every day when you get up. You have managed to keep going so far, so that means you do have an inner strength.
There is a lovely prayer that I like....
Lord grant me the peace and serenity to live with the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Try and understand the prayer like this. there are so many things you do not have the power to change, you can't change the past, you can't change other people, you can't change where you live, or the lack of money, black magic and more. But in the prayer you ask Allah to help you to live in peace with all the bad stuff that you cannot change.
The second line, is to change the things you can. The bottom line seems to be, that you can only change yourself, and how you react to all the bad stuff. Somehow, you say to yourself, this is not going to get me down, I am strong, I can deal with all this. I can pray for the strength to get me through today, I can pray that Allah will help and guide me to do his will.
The last line of the prayer is the most important, the wisdom to know the difference. If you concentrate on wanting to change the things that are out of your power to change, this will lead to depression and suicidal thoughts. Depression takes away all your energy to do things and change. There are things in this life we just have to accept and live with, most of us have little power.
I am an optimist, I always keep trying to fight all battles with loving kindness, life is a struggle, always one day at a time until death, and I am only 67.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a great mystery, Lord grant me the peace and serenity to live this day and every day, knowing that you hold me in the palm of your hand.
In the spirit of praying for a peace of mind that surpasses all understanding.