format_quote Originally Posted by
muslima2017
Salam alaykom everyone,
Im new here and have a question, hope i can find some answers here inshallah
If your partner says to you that they love you but they can't share everything with you about their family and current issues, because they love you and want to keep the relationship without worries, how would you feel ? and how would you respond ???? i personally feel like its putting barriers between one another ? am i being dramatic or is it normal to feel that way??
Please advice and share your thoughts, jzk
Asalaamualaykum
There are two possibilities here and you have only mentioned one at hand.
1. Keeping secrets about oneself from the spouse
2. Keeping secrets about the family and others from ones spouse.
You have mentioned in your example concerning Number 2 from above so I will omit answering number 1.
To understand this part you have to have a clear definition on two concepts in Islam
a) Backbiting
b) Exposing the wrong of another muslim
They are actually inter-related in many ways.
Islam does not promote having a secrets in marriage HOWEVER at the same time Islam also does not promote backbiting and exposing the wrong of a muslim with no reason.
The problem today is that the western idea of no secrets in a marriage has been adopted in islam marriages with no limitations - hence we see that today many husbands and wives openly talk about the wrongs in their own families without realising that it is Backbiting.
The bottom line is because a couple is in nikah - it doesn't give them carte blanche to talk about anything they want. The rules of Backbiting still apply, even between information shared between husband and wife.
Nikah is not open licence that absolves the couple out of the Backbiting.