How to avoid the pop culture trap?

[Mustafa16]

I don't know if this is true for other people, but I know this is true for me.....when I consume the media of the kuffar, I start to want to be like them, in ways that are obviously haram.......for instance, in my literature class, we read A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, the Muslim author of the kite runner.....in it, a boy and a girl are best friends in childhood and teenhood, in afghanistan, and a romance develops when war breaks out between various factions of the mujahideen......the language used is made to make the reader empathize and enjoy with haram... (in the book it says "it was considered understandable, to sit beneath this tree among all this fighting and bloodshed, and to share a kiss, even though it was a sin)....the couple (Laila and Tariq) end up committing zina, but are separated when tariq asks Laila to marry him but she refuses, saying she needs to take care of her family....when her family dies, she is taken in by the abusive man we see earlier in the book, and his wife, and he ends up marrying and abusing Laila, when Laila learns that tariq is dead, and Laila pricks her finger with a knife to make it look like he took her virginity......Laila has a child, and this is from tariq.....later, we find out rasheed (the abusive man)'s friend lied about tariq being dead, rasheed brutally beats his wives, miriam (the other wife) kills rasheed, laila flees with tariq and her two children, one from tariq and one from rasheed, and marries tariq, and miriam is killed by the taleban, but when afghanistan is liberated, laila and tariq have already married and return to afghanistan....the whole time we are supposed to be relishing the romance between tariq and laila, despite the fact that there child is a baby born out of wedlock and they committed, zina,one of the worst sins....
another example is teennick....which i watched as a kid....there was a program on there named Drake and Josh, about stepbrothers of the same name, and drake is a womanizing, musician teenager, who sees girl after another (even if it's another's girlfriend, right in the middle of a date with another guy!!!!!), and we are made to accept this because "that's just drake" which lead me to believe that these premarital relationships are halal, because my parents allowed me to watch it, and I even asked my parents, "how many girlfriends can one person have at once?" and made up schemes to get a kiss from my childhood friend......
ill end with a final example or two, and then ill explain my reasoning...i fell in love with the love story of anne frank, despite the fact that such relationships are haram, and the two lovers would end up getting butchered in the holocaust.....and i fell in love with the love story of blue lagoon, where a boy and girl are stranded on an island from a young age, and when they hit puberty they quickly learn about sex all on their own, and have a child....
it does not take much to realize that these relationships are haram, but also, one must be cautious, because by watching them, and reading them, you are desensitizing yourself, to the point that, bit by bit, shaytaan wants you to imitate what you see, and see it as acceptable.....even desirable, and even clouds youths' judgement on relationships......you dont notice it at first, at first you're like "well i wouldn't do that in real life, im just curious...." and then your nafs begins to love it, and then shaytaan comes in and slowly, bit by bit, exposes you to it more and more, to the point where you see it as acceptable behavior.....that is why i feel muslims should not watch these soap operas, love stories, movies, tv shows, etc.

[Serinity]

:salam:

Very true about the last bit.

They make haram look acceptable, vica versa.

Kissing, etc. in public. Indeceny in Public is seen as acceptable. Eyeing up another's daughter/wife/sister is seen as OK. No hayah, no dignity, no honor.

Honor to them is sexist and oppressive.

There was 1 who made me confused about the correlation between dignity and showing skin. I know there is. But they see being modest as "sexist" (they make it sound like it)

Allahu alam.

[drac16]

Salam alaykum

I can relate to that. I like to watch hockey on TV, but unfortunately, commercials are filled with women who are immodestly dressed. There are also a lot of beer commercials where there are people partying and dancing (also with barely clothed women). That's called marketing. The companies that advertise beer products make commercials with immodesty on purpose. They want you to think that drinking beer will make you more social and will make you have a good time. For me though, I would define a good time as a quiet time of prayer and reading; I could never enjoy going out clubbing and flirting with girls.

You need to find yourself a new hobby; something that will prevent you from following the dunya. Try working out (if you don't already). Working out has helped me a lot and I'm pretty sure it will help you too. It strengthens your body and your mind. You won't have time to think about sinful things when you're physically active. Give it a try, my dear brother. :)

[00001001]

A man is the average of the five friends he spends his time the most with.

I would add that a man is the average of the five media sources he consumes the most. In other words, consume better quality media. Not IQ lowering stuff like CNN.

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[Mustafa16]

Salam alaykum

I can relate to that. I like to watch hockey on TV, but unfortunately, commercials are filled with women who are immodestly dressed. There are also a lot of beer commercials where there are people partying and dancing (also with barely clothed women). That's called marketing. The companies that advertise beer products make commercials with immodesty on purpose. They want you to think that drinking beer will make you more social and will make you have a good time. For me though, I would define a good time as a quiet time of prayer and reading; I could never enjoy going out clubbing and flirting with girls.

You need to find yourself a new hobby; something that will prevent you from following the dunya. Try working out (if you don't already). Working out has helped me a lot and I'm pretty sure it will help you too. It strengthens your body and your mind. You won't have time to think about sinful things when you're physically active. Give it a try, my dear brother. :)

will do! just exercised after reading what you wrote, did sit ups and pushups!