Breaking Down Slowly...Please Help

[altaf.786]

Salaam all,

I dont know where to start...

I got an arranged marriage where the rishta was found via matrimonial site but the decision to proceed was only done by me. My mother, brother, and sister werent happy.

Anyways,
My wife arrived in the UK after my marriage with her 2 weeks ago. And ever since she arrived issues starting happening. On her second day, my wife started cleaning, cooking, washing and the rest of the general household things that happens. My sister, who is also married comes and sees my mum everyday from the morning till the evening. From the second day my sister started telling me that shes not good enough for you and how I could have done better. I replied saying that its all done now and allah knows best. My sister also said that my wife doesn't know how to clean properly, nor she is good in cooking and even though she has done masters she still is backward and is good for nothing and how you have ruined your life and your mums by getting married to her. My mum also isn't happy. On a day to day basis when my wife cooks them fresh food this includes fresh chapatthi gives them all (brother, sister and my mother)
breakfast, lunch and dinner and on top of that cleans the house..

One day when my wife was cleaning the house I get a text at work from my sister how my wife is good for nothing and how my sister has to clean again as my wife doesnt clean properly. This torture happened for 2 weeks until yesterday:

So, we were invited for lunch along side my sisters in laws to my uncles house where all went well but the usual teasing to my wife on how her skin has broken out with redness, her weight etc anything that my sister could found she taunts but in the NAME OF MY MOTHER BECAUSE MY MUM ISN'T H AT ALL.

My uncle noticed that nor does my mum or my sister had any interaction with my wife but kept quiet. In the evening I had made plans to take my mother sister to watch a film but I also invited my sister couple of days ago. I asked my sister at my uncles house if she was still interested in going. She said no. So I booked tickets for myself, mum and wife.

By then, we had arrived home to get changed and to go and watch the film. Suddenly, my sister rings my mother and I dont know what she said but my mum said to cancel her ticket. I said mum it cant be cancelled she said to my sister on the phone that tickets cant be cancelled. Anyway, we went to the cinema and watched the film and came home all happy.

The next morning (sunday) I woke up said salaam to my mum in her room. Then my sister phone came and I see that my mum starts crying. I took the phone from my mum and asked my sister what has happened. My sister said "I got nothing to do with you anymore" I was like what has happened? Can you tell me she said "no nothing has happened just don't want anything to do with you" I asked my mum what has happened she said nothing and how i should go away. I started saying what has happened if you don't tell me then how am I meant to know. I said to my mum I know my sister has said something and due to this my mother is being moody. My mother replied saying "why have u become ur sisters enemy and how my wife has taught me this" my wife came and said "mum I have not taught him anything i just don't know what i do wrong that your doing this" Anyways my mum got angry and left the house I went back to get her but she refused to come with me. So, I got in the car with my wife and went out to look for her and then I find her at the bus stop.

I stopped the car and cried and said how I want her to sit in the car but she refused. There was another women with her child. I told her that my mum is angry with me and how I want her forgiveness. I went down on my knees and said sorry if I have made any mistake but my mother refused to accept it and sat on the bus and in anger I punched the bus seat.

I then didn't know what to do my wife was crying and so was I. We decided to go to uncles house where I told him all the situation and he said how this is normal and I need to face this and make a stand for myself and my wife. During this my sister was ringing me and so was my brother I refused to pick there calls up and nor did my wife. I then get a message saying where is mum. I replied stating that she is coming to my sisters (your) house. After some times I rang my mother but she didn't pick up her calls. I kept ringing and she eventually did. I asked where is she and she said home. So we also decided to go home.

Both myself and wife sat on the sofa and my mother said "I don't want anything to do with your life so I don't
want you or your wife to speak to me" I replied what is it that you want mum if you don't tell me how am I meant to fix it. By then my younger brother came and said why am I shouting at my mother I said I am going crazy here I am getting punished for something I dont know the reason for. Things started heating up more when my brother came as he started shouting too. I said to him you need to behave and told my mum is this what you want me to go through the fact that my younger brother is going to speak infront of me. My mother remained quiet. Anyways, I fumed and said to both my mum and brother
that this is my wife and she has every right to live here. My brother then replied in anger how he will slap her and kick her out. I replied by saying that you cant kick her out until I am alive. Now I didnt want to say all this stuff but I only did coz my uncle said I need to take a stand or else things will get out of hand.

My mother then said to my and my wife how she has no room for us anymore and how we should leave. (even though this house is mine and I have been paying mortgage and ever since my father left us i been supporting my family this includes everything, food, mortgage, bills, holidays anything that my sister, brother or mum wanted) Anyways I said ok and got in the car and went to see my other uncle. He told me to come to his house which we did and I explained all the situation. He said lets go home I drove and we went home. My mother said to me that you are finished for me and I said why mum because I said that my wife is my wife this is just like me saying my brother is my brother.

My uncle also convinced my mother and said to my brother and sister hw they are younger to me and should behave. I then went and bought food for my mother from her fav place. Grabbed her feet and kissed and said how I am really sorry If I have hurt you. She is speaking to me and my wife now but not properly. My uncle said to me how my sister shouldn't come to see mum 7 days a week as things get worse.

I am lost and slowly breaking down with this all family issues what do i do where do I go?

[MuslimLawyer]

Seriously, your sister and your mum have serious issues.

You need to tell them to get some respect. If the house is in your name, then you don't have to go anywhere.

I can't stand the domestic abuse been directed at your wife.

Get a restraining order.... Get a lawyer, and get rid of the troublemakers

[Supernova]

Asalaamualaykum.

This is very sad but honestly i must say it is very big of you not to cave in and enter into a possible Talaq.

You can attain your Jannah out of this affliction if you retain the right mentality and sincerity.

Allow me this short but meaningful advice: Concentrate on your reaction to that test. Dont question the test which Allah SWT gives you - just respond to the test with actions from the Quran and Sunnah. Go on you tube and listen a short talk by Sheikh Hamza Yusuf called "respond with what is better" as far as your reaction to the family is.

If you need a brother to talk to or a shoulder to cry on please message me and i will give you my number and i will call you back from my mobile minutes.

Its the least i can do for a muslim brother.

:(

Asalaamualaykum.

[aaj]

:wasalam:

you should watch the movie Bagbhan, you might learn a thing or two about bad mothers and siblings. Your sister is the fasad of all this, she is the one causing trouble and stringing your mother up. You need to listen to your uncle and put your foot down. Tell them this is your house and this is your wife and they need to respect that or they can go live else where. Yes, you may need to say that to your mother as well ifs he doesn't come in line. Islam isn't all about kissing your mother's feet, both the child and the parent have islamic rights over the other. You can tell your sister she can't visit your house unless you are there if she cries about it , tell her it's your house and you don't appreciate her causing fitna in it. She will go cry to you mom and start the whole drama again, you should put your foot down and be like your mom can go live with her daughter if she thinks you are not a good son. Watch, once they realize you are the master of that house and they all can be kicked out then they sill start behaving like proper kin. It's tough love and it needs to be done if you want to keep your sanity and your marriage in tact.

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[Alpha Dude]

Now I didnt want to say all this stuff but I only did coz my uncle said I need to take a stand or else things will get out of hand.

Your uncle is 100% right. Do not back down.

Put your sister in her place. Each and every time she causes any problem. If she doesn't want to talk to you or if she says you are dead to her, or makes any other kind of emotional blackmail statement - tell her fine. Accept it and make a decision. If she is reasonable and Allah has mercy on her, she will come around eventually. Maybe weeks, or months or years later she will come around. If not, that's her problem. You have tried your best to maintain kinship but your sister is being difficult for no reason and is a cause of fitnah. She's mischief making and her behaviour will ruin your lives.

Any time someone abuses your wife, stand up for her.

[Alpha Dude]

To add, your sister seems like the kind of person who makes mountains out of molehills. What gives her power is if when you entertain or indulge her petty issues. Completely blank and ignore her outbursts of silliness and ignore her if you have to. That will give you the power and upper hand over her in sha Allah.

[altaf.786]

Thank you all.

My sister has stopped talking to me. And I have tried but somewhere down the line I have accepted that my relationship with my sister and mother will NEVER be the same. The reason for this is because in the back of there minds they are thinking that "I have changed after marriage" but the fact is I am still the same I just want to be happy that's all. Now, I am facing issues because of all this with my wife too. I don't want any of my family members to be upset with me but what I have realised is that I can't keep everyone happy.

Few things I have realised is that my wife has also started being moody (think she has understood my nature that he always comes back) and has started talking back loudly with me. I mean what I don't understand is why do I have take all this by everyone. My wife is very stubborn I mean few things I have realised after living with her is that she always does what she wants to at the end of the day no matter how much you tell her. I am not sure if this is the problem that my sister has with her. My wife is a good person in general but I mean I asked her to perform things in a certain way but she keeps nodding her head but doesn't actually do anything about it. So tbh I am not sure whats happening or what will happen with my life in the future. I feel I am trapped in between all these relationships and I Honestly just want to run away sometimes..

[talibilm]

Salam wrwb BBro

Do Not worry Allah is enough for his believers. Try to be in the Middle and take care of everyone rights for the sake of Allah and that's what we can do. We cant please all so its best TO please your Creator by ASKING YOUR HEART are you right (given their rights ) with your Mother ?, your spouse ?, your sister ? respectively. sorry I did not read your whole post but this is a common situation to all good Son-Husband-brother. No man is perfect & a little bit extra to the impious or little pious women . The Pious women will never hurt anyone.

So be strong , sujood to Allah and pray hajat and Allah is for his sincere slaves in both the worlds.

[muslim brother]

move out and live a happy life alone with your wife

phone and visit your family occasionally

i can back this this up by quran ,hadith and scholarly advice.

take the step and ignore all guilt tripping and emotional manipulation

[altaf.786]

Thank you all for the advice.

Unfortunately, as much as the hadith states that it is adivsible to give your wife a separate home. I can't..my mum doesn't have anyone else who would support her. I will do whatever I can to give my mum the best life but equally I will do the same with my wife and other siblings. I guess this is a test by allah. Please can everyone keep me in your duas.

Jazakallah

[Norsheah Ahmad]

Assalmualaikum... Brother, im truly sorry for what u have gone through and i can see that what u are going through now is not easy.

But remember brother everything happens in our life has its reasons. Allah knows best. What you need to do now is to turn to Allah..

First and foremost, love Allah first. Get closer to Allah, never miss your 5 times daily prayer, if possible wake up 2-3 am and pray for tahajjud and other sunnah prayer like solat hajat.

Brother in every solat the last sujud, ask Allah for anything u want. Dua for your sister, mother and wife without fail every single day. Do not give up brother. Everytime your sister and mother create trouble for u or your wife, yoi still continue dua for them. Inshaa Allah one day you will see changes. Trust me brother... I have gone through many difficulties in life.

Even till now im going thru divorce, it was painful the first month, but everyday i pray seek Allah to heal my heart, within a month i heart just healed tremendously, Subhanallah.

We need to be strong brother, continue being strong and more focus on your dua for your family to be in peace..

Remember brother, once we are married, syaitan cried, and syaitan promise to do everything to cause a broken marriage. No matter what, save your marriage at the same time do your best to change ur mum and sister to be a better inlaws to ur wife. All these will only be possible with your dua to Allah without fail, your perseverance and patience.

Inshaa Allah brother, i dua for you that may Allah grant u ease in handling this difficult times and may Allah soften the heart of yr beloved mum and sister towards ur beloved wife... Amiin ya Rabb.

[altaf.786]

I am sorry to hear this sister "Norsheah Ahmad"

I don't know what I can do. Yesterday, my wife had asked me to take her out. So I said Ok she has not seen London as she recently came from saudia arabia with me. My wife gave me breakfast yesterday morning and asked my mother in which she replied "No" so i thought something was up. Moving on, when my wife had made chapati earlier there was some flour left near the oven so I quickly cleaned it when I was doing this my mother came in and said why are you doing this. I said its because I want the house to be tidy for you as you don't like mess. She said how long will you keep backing up ur wife. I said I am not backing her up I am just helping how I used to before i got married. Anyways, then my cousin rang and said if we all wanted to go out bowling. I said to mum that I think we should go. She said No I dont want to go with ur wife. I said mum whats happened..she said I want you guys to out so I can do my own things. By now the whole day was gone so I couldnt take her anywhere nice. My brother said maybe mum needs a break so take your wife out maybe to shop or something. Therefore, I came went out to shop with my wife and on our way back it took us a little more time roughly 3 hours. During my journey I sent a picture message to my mother and brother to show that there was traffic. While we were shopping, my sister had text me saying "what time I will get back by" I replied whats up? is everything Ok. I didn't get any response. Anyways, I came home and saw my sister fuming she didn't utter a word and told my younger brother to drop her home. I had bought food for all of us which I asked my wife to warm and she started doing it.

My mother said don't do it yet I will be back let me drop my sister. After 30 mins my brother and mother arrived and I then said to my wife again to warm food. My mother said "from now on i will do my own things" therefore I don't need anyone to warm my food I will do it myself. I said mum whats up. Is everything Ok? She said yes. So my mum warmed her own food and we all ate. It was quiet in the lounge for over 1 hour. To cut the silence my wife started showing the shopping (just 1 cardigan) to mum and in which my mum didn't really response back so she kept quiet. My mother asked if we had found one of the shirts which my wife had bought earlier to return. I replied no. My mother said: "I don't have any mess in my cupboard therefore its not with me" My wife said I also couldn't find it. My mum repeated the same thing again. So I went upstairs and started sorting my wife's and my cupboard so it looks more tidy. It took us 1 hour to sort it out. I then took picture to show to my mum. I sent them to my brother and mother.

When both myself and my wife came down to watch TV with the family. My mother went upstairs. So we (wife and me) switched the TV off and also went up. Ok, now I went to my mums room and saw she had tears in her eyes. I asked what happened she said nothing. I repeated my question again. She said I don't want anything to do with your wife she is nothing to me and tell her not to give me any food or do anything for me. You have your own life. I replied saying then what do you want me to do? She said well I didn't select the girl you did same way you selected her I am sure your cape able of making decisions. I replied by saying so what is the solution? Do u want me to leave her? She said its up to you...My wife had heard this and came in the room and started crying and asking my mum what is it that she is doing wrong if she can kindly explain to her so she can fix it. My mum replied to her by saying ask your Husband as he selected to marry you..After this I messaged my sister to ask what has happened what is wrong?

Anyways, we went to our bedroom and stayed in there and had a chat and now here I am typing away my miserable life...

[~Zaria~]

Assalamu-alaikum akhi,

Please consider family counseling through a local aalim or muslim counsellor.
In shaa Allah, a learned third party will assist in opening channels of communication between all parties, and provide solutions in maintaining the rights of each relationship.

May Allah ease your affairs and place barakaah within your marriage and home.
Ameen

[islamirama]

The problem is with you. You are not a man and don't know how to handle yourself or others. You area always looking to please everyone and don't know how to put your foot down and stand for what is right. Your mother and sister are clearly in wrong here and emotionally blackmailing you. Blame yourself for your miserable life and troubles and blame yourself when you end up with a divorce. If you want to change all that then learn to be a man and give everyone their rights and tell them to stay within their limits. Either learn to do that or if you are not capable then go get some counseling if you don't want this to go down hill any further.

[altaf.786]

Thank you for the advice everyone.

Brothers and sisters, the issue is not that I can't be a man and stand up for what is right. The problem is when I do this then it ends up me losing my brother, sister & mother and I don't want to lose them at any cost too.

My mother, brother & sister clearly told me indirectly that I should divorce my wife if I want to please them. There are only two options:

1) I divorce my wife which I don't want to because this is NOT right its not human to divorce someone because your family thinks she's a trash and is of no use to us and its just another liability.
2) I don't divorce my wife and end up living in the mess I am currently in and eventually move out. But I CAN NOT afford to pay a mortgage of two houses and be able to financially manage both houses. My brother is working part time and is finding it difficult to get a job so what shall I do. I know this is the right path and I honestly want to go about doing it.

But the question here is MUM VS WIFE

What are the Islamic views on this?

[muslim brother]

Thank you for the advice everyone.

Brothers and sisters, the issue is not that I can't be a man and stand up for what is right. The problem is when I do this then it ends up me losing my brother, sister & mother and I don't want to lose them at any cost too.

My mother, brother & sister clearly told me indirectly that I should divorce my wife if I want to please them. There are only two options:

1) I divorce my wife which I don't want to because this is NOT right its not human to divorce someone because your family thinks she's a trash and is of no use to us and its just another liability.
2) I don't divorce my wife and end up living in the mess I am currently in and eventually move out. But I CAN NOT afford to pay a mortgage of two houses and be able to financially manage both houses. My brother is working part time and is finding it difficult to get a job so what shall I do. I know this is the right path and I honestly want to go about doing it.

But the question here is MUM VS WIFE

What are the Islamic views on this?

https://www.islamicboard.com/family-...ml#post2937208

make the decision,stop discussing ,

http://www.daruliftaa.com/node/5568?txt_QuestionID=

[piXie]

What are the Islamic views on this?

:salamext:

My brother, our problems will not get better - infact they will only keep on increasing if we do not understand and address the underlying causes. Allah wants us to amend our relationship with Him, and until we don't do this, He will keep sending us difficulties and this is His mercy towards His slaves because, by Allaah, the human being is so stubborn and forgetful about his hereafter, that if it wasn't for these difficulties we would never turn to Our Creator or correct ourselves. Allah wants us to turn to Him before we return to Him so we can be protected from the painful and humiliating consequences in the afterlife. Because what is the hell we feel on this earth compared to the hell in the next.

You need to ask yourself, where is your focus and who are u trying to please? Before we are accountable to anyone, whether this be our spouses or parents or family, we are accountable to Allah. His happiness should be our focus before the happiness of anyone. And until we don't understand this or internalise this, our relationships with the creation will never be amended and they will never be happy with us no matter what we do for them.

Rasul Allah :saws1: said: “He who displeased Allah for seeking the pleasure of people, Allah is displeased with him and those people are also displeased, for pleasing whom he had earned Allah’s displeasure. And he who pleases Allah, although by it he displeased people, Allah is pleased with him, and also those people whom he had displeased for pleasing Allah become pleased with him. Allah makes him splendid and his speech and acts in the eyes of others beautiful.” [Tibrani]

Secondly, we need to understand that Islam is peace. For peace to enter our homes, we need Islam to enter it. Yet how will Islam (peace) enter and reside in our homes if the very foundations and walls of these homes r upon haram and what is displeasing to Allaah?

Allah :swt: says in the Quran

O you who have believed, fear Allah and give up what remains [due to you] of interest, if you should be believers.

And if you do not, then be informed of a war [against you] from Allah and His Messenger. But if you repent, you may have your principal - [thus] you do no wrong, nor are you wronged. (2:278-279)

Mortgages are interest based transactions and result in the anger of Allaah. This is a very serious issue, therefore you need to make a sincere effort and dua to Allaah to free you from this mortgage.

Allah says in the Quran;

And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty) (65:2)

Thirdly brother, it would be a mistake if you made your focus your mother or wife because eventually it will weaken, tire, emotionally drain and exhaust you, plus whichever direction you end up choosing, you will still feel guilty & regretful in the end. But if you make this a choice between pleasing Allaah or pleasing those whom you love, then Allah will give you the strength and courage to stand firm and make a way out for you. You need to make this very clear to your family and wife - with your words and actions - that this is not about her (the wife) and you preferring her more and neither is this about them (the family) and you preferring them more. This is about your responsibility and obligation as the head and breadwinner of the house, trying to do what Allah says when He says;

O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.(66:6)

Understand that your family and wife is dependent upon you and therefore you need to use this to make them listen to you in the correct thing and put pressure on them and you are obliged by Allah to put this pressure on them, because if you don't put pressure on them to do correct by themselves and Allaah, they will put pressure on you to get what they want. Therefore, in whatever way you can, you need to encourage them to build upon their Eemaan and fear of Allaah, whether this means that they attend Islamic courses or whether there will be Islamic lessons they can listen to at home. Fear Allah and remind them to fear Allaah. It would not be correct or wise for you to give and spend on them freely (wife or family), trying to fulfil their every whim as this will ruin them and their character and this applies especially to your brother. As for your sister, then she is now her husbands responsibility and he needs to keep her busy so she does not cause fitnah in other homes.

This is a process brother, and it starts with ourselves first - a process of purification and amendment we all must go through in our lives and repeatedly, checking ourselves and improving our relationship with Allah and this path is not easy but it brings us stability and inner peace and builds our inner strength and character. Whereas when we don't do this, it has the opposite effect and life will make us unstable, miserable, weak and exhausted as we run from one person to another trying to please them to only have our situation become worse. Understand that we need to go about this the correct way. When we make Allah :swt: our focus and goal, He will make it easy for us and be with us. He will guide us, and give us the strength and support that we need. He will clarify our position along the way. During this process, your path will become clearer to you as you see the reactions of everyone including your wife, you will see whether she understands n supports you in trying to uphold the legislations of Allah or not, and depending on this, matters and decisions (to stick by your wife or leave her) will also become more clearer to you too. Because you do not wish to find yourself in a position of a husband who goes through so much to stand by his wife, later to find that she does not support his Islamic obligations nor obeys him in that.

Lastly, when you take a stance to please Allaah, explain to those whom you love the reasons behind your decisions and caution them to fear Allaah and do not feel guilty or apologise for it, because this will only make those who do wrong, gain power over you and suppress you.

May Allah guide us all and bring the light of peace and Eemaan into our hearts & homes. Aameen.

[Deeni Akh]

Move out and save your marriage, your mother and sister are damaging it. It's not even obligatory on your wife to do the cleaning and cooking but she does it and still gets looked at negatively.

What do they mean exactly when they say, you could've done better?

Your mother and sister were also wives once upon a time, remind them that they should empathise and treat your wife fairly.

[.hasan.]

Thank you for the advice everyone.

Brothers and sisters, the issue is not that I can't be a man and stand up for what is right. The problem is when I do this then it ends up me losing my brother, sister & mother and I don't want to lose them at any cost too.

My mother, brother & sister clearly told me indirectly that I should divorce my wife if I want to please them. There are only two options:

1) I divorce my wife which I don't want to because this is NOT right its not human to divorce someone because your family thinks she's a trash and is of no use to us and its just another liability.
2) I don't divorce my wife and end up living in the mess I am currently in and eventually move out. But I CAN NOT afford to pay a mortgage of two houses and be able to financially manage both houses. My brother is working part time and is finding it difficult to get a job so what shall I do. I know this is the right path and I honestly want to go about doing it.

But the question here is MUM VS WIFE

What are the Islamic views on this?

Asalamualaikum Bro,

I am going to be blunt with you, your mother and siblings are just trying to emotionally blackmail you, I am really shocked at your family what kind of people are they that they want you to divorce your wife, she serves them, does the cooking and cleaning for them even though she is under no obligation to do so and endures their insults. Yet they are still not pleased! She is not a slave. What kind of heartless people are they?

It's clear from your posts that its mainly your sister who is plotting to ruin your marriage. So go to your brother and sister (especially your sister) and remind them to fear Allah, for he does not like the oppressors and zalimoon, say you value your relationship with them but you are not going to divorce your wife because of their mischief making and plots. And for them to break ties with you because of this is a major sin but if they still insist on breaking ties, then they can go ahead but the sin will be on their head and you will be blameless.

I know this will be hard for you bro, but it is clear they are simply taking advantage of your kind nature so when they see that you are serious and will not tolerate their haram actions then they will learn to control themselves and you and your wife will be safe from their fitnah. Otherwise bro, this time they asked you to divorce your wife, next time they could ask you to commit other big sins. So it's important that you remain firm.

As for your mum, I believe she is being brainwashed by your sister. You should approach her kindly, try to advise her that although you love her and want to please her, you have an obligation to be just. You married your wife of your free choice so you have to fulfill her responsibilities and be kind to her otherwise Allah will question you on the day of judgement. Ask her if she would like herself or her daughter being treated in such a cruel manner, maybe try and get your uncle to advise her.

Also try your best to move out and get your own place insh'Allah.

[Nk01]

Salaam,

Your mother and sister should see how happy you are with your wife. Especially you met her over matrimonial website, you not related and she came from a different country; obviously it'll take her time to adjust.

if she does lack cleaning, cooking skills or anything; She can be advised nicely by your mother. It's not nice to be criticised for every effort she put in, if your mother is living with you and your wife is taking care of her properly. Then your mother should not come in her daughters words, she should be wiser and taunt her for spreading hatred. Your wife is not meant to serve your family, her duty and obligation is only for you and if she does serve your family politely then that's a courtesy. Allah will reward her.

At this point brother, I could only advise you to have a civil conversation with your siblings, mother and wife, to get bottom of why they have a problem with your wife? The statements they make 'your too good for her' is not valid enough. If your happily married doubts shouldn't come to your head, you should dismiss it.

Why should you divorce her if your happy? Tell them to fear Allah, giving divorce to an innocent woman and is treated harshly, it will bite them when they are married.

If problems do persist, I understand inflation is high in the U.K. And your mother can only live with you. To keep both in peace, best option would be to covert the house into flats maybe? Have your mother downstairs where your siblings can come see her and wife upstairs. This way your siblings and wife don't cross paths? This way you can keep an eye on your mother and wife, your keeping both happy? Just a suggestion.

What ever you do, stand by your wife. She's by herself in this country. Don't let your sibling or your mother's word affect your relationship. Keep both of them sweet. When your mum criticise your wife shake your head and listen but don't act upon it. Same if your wife complain; goes from one ear come out to another.

Put your trust in Allah. Once you have children, things will be calmer InshaAllah. Your sisters and mother will be affectionate towards them. InshaAllah.

May Allah ease everyone's difficulties and guide us all. Ameen

[Reminder]

Your mother isn't the one who is married to this woman - you are. I suggest you move out. After a few months they will call you to move back in as they can't afford to pay the bills.

Edit: your mother and sister*