Her parents won't agree

[justauser1]

Salam my Muslim brothers and sisters,
I am in a position that I never hoped I would be in. I met a girl 2 years ago and she made me feel better, she made me get closer to Allah and a better Muslim as well as helped in my general. We fell in love and I know that I would like to spend my life with her.
I know that she is right for me as she has helped me become better. I believe that my parents will be hard to convince but they will listen. However, her parents are against any idea of this. She has brought up the idea of choosing who to marry and her mother has disagreed with her a lot. I am a Pakistani and she is Bengali, were both in late teens, early twenties but her parents have told her that they are looking for a guy for her and have a guy in mind who is 30. She doesn't want to marry him and wants to spend her life with me as do I.
I need help. I am stuck and feel like there is nothing I can do. I can't risk losing someone like this and Ii don't want to see her go through anything like this.
Please, any advice would be appreciated.

[aaj]

:wasalam:


There could be a number factors coming into this.

Normally, indians and bengalis are big on status and accomplishments, more so than pakistanis. So they would want someone who is older and more accomplished for their daughter then someone who is still in his teens.

Also, due to India, Pakistan and Bengal's history after the partition, there is a lot of animosity towards the pakistanis from the bengalis. Basically, they blame pakistan for all that happened there, and so you being a pakistani may have something to do with her parents refusing, although giving another reason to hide this.

And it also could just be that they didn't like a guy chatting to their daughter and being alone with her and developing feelings for each other, they would rather check someone out themselves and pick him instead. One, for their own reasons and two, so it's not spread in the community that the girl found her own guy and it's a love marriage. Love marriage brings thoughts of all the haram that could've happened for it to get to that point.


Anyways, if they do not agree then you can talk to some elder person in the community that they respect and have him talk to them, or you could talk to the local imam and have him talk to them. But before you do all that, you would need to talk to your parents first and make sure they are on board. All the details of it can be discussed later.