Seeking help

[rb345]

I am a Caucasian male in my forties , have led a pretty bad life and have searched for meaning for years, I use to deal with drugs , and now still have depression and essentially alone with few family members that surely will disown me once I revert.

I have been reading and watching videos on YouTube regarding reverting , etc. I did go to a site and someone called me from website and I said shahada over phone, so does that count or must be in person?

Since than (oct 15 2016). I haven't gone to services haven't prayed ate pork indulged in sex and masturbation, and currently in a bad relationship have ran up a credit card for motel n food n needs even though I knew that was haram in a nutshell the day after shahada I struggled how hard it will be, my neighborhood, knowing no muslims, facing homelessness , I feel I have already failed as a Muslim n now it is ruined. I mean they say before converting all is washed away but what about after, I am I believe in a serious spiritual battle with my naffs, Jin's and shaytan.

Please advise. I reside in the u.s. City of Philadelphia

[happymuslim]

Brother, Allah guides whom he wills, the worst can become the best and the best can become the worst, go to the mosaque and talk to Muslims there, search for the straight path you have nothing to loose. A not so great Muslim is better then one who doesn't believe, don't lose hope in the mercy of Allah, don't give upo on yourself.

[aaj]

welcome brother.

please check out where your local mosque is. you can look up on islamicfinder.org

and visit your local mosque and inform them of your situation and ask if they have new reverts help program of any sort.

Yes, accepting Islam and converting washes away all that was before. You start out fresh like a new born, free from sin. After that what you do you will be accounted for. It is still not end of the world. We are humans and prone to make mistakes and sin, the better of us are those who repent and return back to Allah. These are the struggles of life we have to keep on till we meet our maker.

[azc]

I am a Caucasian male in my forties , have led a pretty bad life and have searched for meaning for years, I use to deal with drugs , and now still have depression and essentially alone with few family members that surely will disown me once I revert. I have been reading and watching videos on YouTube regarding reverting , etc. I did go to a site and someone called me from website and I said shahada over phone, so does that count or must be in person? Since than (oct 15 2016). I haven't gone to services haven't prayed ate pork indulged in sex and masturbation, and currently in a bad relationship have ran up a credit card for motel n food n needs even though I knew that was haram in a nutshell the day after shahada I struggled how hard it will be, my neighborhood, knowing no muslims, facing homelessness , I feel I have already failed as a Muslim n now it is ruined. I mean they say before converting all is washed away but what about after, I am I believe in a serious spiritual battle with my naffs, Jin's and shaytan. Please advise. I reside in the u.s. City of Philadelphia

try to avoid unislamic activities and try to follow your religion. Go to any Islamic centre or school

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[greenhill]

Welcome to the forum.

Life is a test and Allah is most Forgiving. You will face an uphill struggle AND bearing it with patience because you know it is test from Allah for you means that you are already successful. Allah's rewards to us is most likely not what you are thinking.

Remember that the tests are to see whether you remain in the path or give up from frustration. So, keep it on the up, bit by bit. Don't stop.

Life as a muslim will be hard as the world that surrounds us is not designed for muslims but design to lead us away from the true path, as is Satan's plan.

May you keep to the faith.

Wishing you a great stay.


:peace: